Kids Will Be Kids

kingfisher's game

Chapter 6: Being a Pirate Sounds a Lot Cooler in Theory Than It Actually Is

…

Notes: Updating a week early, as promised! Kamui's a bit of an ass here, but what else is new?

Please be aware that there is some simulated fighting/violence in this chapter.

"What are you planning on doing with her, anyway?" Abuto asked. It had been a few days since the commander had brought his little sister on board, but his reason for doing so was still unclear.

Abuto was starting to think the young man had just wanted to relieve his boredom. Kamui tended to get restless on these long space flights. Occasionally he'd spar with a few of his men, but after a number of broken bones and concussions, no one was particularly eager to pit themselves against him. Abuto was the only one left who would 'willingly' volunteer.

"Hmm…She's not the same as she was when she was really 5. Part of her older self's personality is leaking out. I think today I'll try to see if what Kagura did before we picked her up was a fluke. She wouldn't have had a chance if she hadn't surprised them, but she's strong for her age."

What Kagura did before we picked her up…Abuto was pretty sure he knew what Kamui was talking about. Although he hadn't seen her do it, he'd seen the bodies. A full-grown Yato and an Amanto pirate? It was hard to believe a child had been able to overpower those men, even if she'd taken them by surprise.

Abuto had felt a twinge of pride at the sight. That was the latent ability of the commander's little sister, after all. "How do you plan on doing that?"

"Want to see? Go and bring her to the training gym."

Ah, relegated to the role of babysitter once again. The exciting life of a pirate, indeed.

Kagura was a fairly pushy kid. When Abuto got to the guarded cabin she was staying in, it was almost embarrassing how easily she bullied him into giving her a piggyback ride—all she had to do was complain about the fact that 'Sougo' and 'Nii-chan' weren't nearly as tall as 'Oji-san' and he gave in.

Well, he had a soft spot for kids, after all. Kagura was particularly adorable. With her fluffy orange hair, sparkling blue eyes, and dopey smile, she was like a cuter version of the kid the commander had been when they'd met.

As Kagura hummed a chirpy song and tangled her fingers into Abuto's unruly hair, he reconsidered. Like a younger Kamui? That was wishful thinking. As a child, Kamui had been bitter and unhappy, forced into adult responsibilities too young by his mother's sickness and his father's absence. He had gotten worse after she died. By now, the boy whose duty it was to protect his little sister was long gone. Kagura was a far more cheerful child than Abuto had ever known her brother to be.

Come to think of it, her being this age…did she even know her mother had died? What a mess.

At the training hall, Kagura clambered down from Abuto to greet her brother. The training gym was the most heavily reinforced room on the ship (Kamui's fault—the idiot didn't know how to hold back and getting the walls repaired all the time was expensive) and was filled with equipment to build strength and practice fighting techniques (also Kamui's fault—no one wanted to fight him, so the idiot had to find other outlets for his energy). In the center of the room was the sunken fighting pit where Kamui was standing.

Deciding to forgo the steps that led down into the recessed pit of the massive training gym, Kagura simply jumped down, barely fazed by the 15 foot drop. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she was jogging toward her brother.

"Nii-chan!" Kagura extended her hands up to her brother, wordlessly requesting that he pick her up, but he didn't.

"Hey, Kagura. Today I want to do some training with you," Kamui said.

Abuto frowned at his commander's words. He'd thought as much when he'd been asked to bring Kagura to the training gym, but he wasn't sure what Kamui expected from her.

The pit was used as a combination of a boxing ring and a virtual reality fighting game. The user could input stats for strength, speed, agility, and other factors to create an opponent to spar against. The pit would then make an avatar of that opponent, like a hologram that could punch or hold weapons—even bleed. It was Kamui's favorite toy, and Abuto had spent hours, on occasion, watching his commander fight dozens of virtual opponents and bathe in their blood, only for it to disappear the moment he left the pit.

It was an impressive piece of technology, but Abuto had to confess he'd never developed a taste for it. Nice for a bit of exercise to break up the monotony of a long journey through space, but it just didn't compare to the thrill and satisfaction of a real fight. Anyway, it wasn't a good trick to use on the kid. The kind of strength she'd shown against those two pirates was out of necessity. Unless Kagura was a very different person than Abuto had assumed her to be, she wouldn't go all out again just for the sake of training. Kamui was going to be disappointed.

Kagura wasn't sure what was happening, but if her brother wanted to train, she would be happy to do so. Kamui pushed her toward a smooth black panel, edges glowing green with various sensors and numbers, on the metal wall of the pit. "I want you to hit here as hard as you can. It'll tell me how strong your arms are."

Obedient, Kagura cocked her fist and punched toward the panel. Instead of the hard, glossy surface she'd expected, the panel felt a sandbag under her fist. Shining blue ripple-like lines propagated out from where her hand had connected with the panel and the lighted numbers scrolled up and down, measuring the force of her punch.

Kagura looked toward her brother for some kind of affirmation, but he didn't look pleased. "That wan't very good, Kagura. You can hit harder than that. Try again."

Kagura felt the sting of embarrassment pinch color into her cheeks. Had that punch really been so weak? She pulled back her fist and took a deep breath before she tried again, this time concentrating on hitting the panel with as much force as she could muster. The panel glowed brighter this time, and it seemed like the numbers were higher. But when Kagura turned back to Kamui, he looked disappointed.

"Are you really trying, Kagura? That reading is way too low. Use all your strength this time."

She'd been trying her hardest, hadn't she? Couldn't Nii-chan see that? Was he mad at her? Kagura bit her lip. This time she had to do better.

When she hit the panel a third time, the lines were yellow instead of blue and the numbers were higher. There! That was enough, wasn't it? Nii-chan would be-

"Is that really the best you can do? Are you really this weak?"

Even her best wasn't good enough. Ashamed, Kagura looked down to avoid her brother's eyes.

Abuto could see Kamui getting frustrated. "Go easy on her, Commander. It's impressive enough for a girl her age to be able to score so high. Some of the Amanto on this ship would have trouble getting that reading."

"If any of our men are this weak, I have no use for them."

Kagura cringed at her brother's words.

Abuto wasn't sure why he felt the urge to defend the girl, but he persisted anyway. "…In any case, the young lady isn't weak. She's holding back. She's not the type to give her all unless she has to."

Kagura flashed Abuto a look of gratitude.

Kamui gave no indication that he'd heard Abuto's words. "Look, Kagura. Like this." Kagura stumbled out of his way as he strode toward the panel and threw his fist toward it. The ripple lines shone bright red, and the numbers shot upward until each reading was at 9999. Kamui had maxed out the stats on the sensor.

Without bothering to look at his sister's awestruck face, he stalked over to the control screen next to the test panel, entered a few estimated values and commands, and jumped back out of the pit. The stairs that led out of the pit disappeared, sliding back into a smooth, featureless wall.

"Nii-chan?" Kagura, alone in the deep recess, looked up at her brother. Silence. It was too silent. Then-

A growl.

Kagura turned.

Something was materializing. An alien? It looked like an ogre from an old scroll painting. Twisted black horns, mottled purple skin, and yellow fangs that were too large for its mouth. Its drool dribbled down its chin and fell in fat droplets to the floor. In its right hand was a studded club as big as she was.

Kagura took a step back. Then another. "Nii-chan…help…"

Kamui approached the edge of the pit and dropped something in. Purple…her umbrella. "Show me you can defend yourself, Kagura."

Kagura knelt to grab the weapon. Why wasn't Nii-chan helping her? Why was he just standing there and watching?

Worried for the kid, Abuto made to call down and tell her it wasn't real, that she couldn't get any serious injuries in a fight against a hologram, but Kamui stopped him with a hand on his arm. "You said she wouldn't give her all unless she had to. If she's not really afraid, I won't get to see her fight seriously."

Seeing Abuto's look, Kamui continued. "Don't worry, I correlated it with the data from her last punch, not mine." The smile was back on his face, and 'sinister' wasn't a strong enough word to describe it.

Shit, thought Abuto. The commander's methods were going too far against the 5-year-old, but it would be dangerous to say anything about it now. Well, there was no way the young lady would die—no matter how serious an injury she got in the ring, all that would be left once she got out would be minor scrapes and bruises—but still…poor kid. Abuto hoped Kamui was prepared for Kagura to hate her 'Nii-chan'.

The heavy head of the ogre's club sailed through the air, and Kagura had to scramble out of the way before it crashed into her. Why was Nii-chan just standing there? He was so strong. Wasn't he going to protect her like he always did? She ducked as a huge fist swung toward her head.

Now wasn't the time to think about why Nii-chan was leaving her behind. If he wasn't going to save her, she'd have to save herself. No matter how scared she was.

Kagura stepped out of the way to avoid the ogre's fist once again. It was far stronger than her, but it was slow and stupid. She pointed the tip of her umbrella at its chest and fired. The bullets sunk in, and the monster took a half-step back. She took advantage of its momentary confusion to jump up, sweeping her umbrella across its neck, but it recovered and batted her away before she could make contact. Her body slammed into the ground and skidded over the smooth metal floor. Kagura rolled over into a crouch, whimpering at the feeling of her bruised shoulder and the shallow gouges where the ogre's nails had scraped her.

The ogre was approaching. Kagura's legs moved on instinct, straightening and then jumping up to kick at its cheek. She felt a curl of satisfaction in her chest as her foot connected and the monster's head twisted to the right, but as she jumped back it caught her ankle roughly and crushed the fragile bones like eggshells. Still holding her leg, the ogre slammed Kagura into the wall. Her head rang from the pain.

It hurt…! Each harsh breath strained her bruised ribs. Her head was bleeding where it had hit the wall. And her ankle…Kagura felt the urge to gag and averted her eyes from the swollen red skin of her left ankle. The pain was too much. She couldn't…she couldn't…how could Nii-chan do this? Was he just going to sit there and watch her get killed?

Kagura could feel tears welling up in her eyes. The ogre loomed over her and raised its club.

Get up, said a voice in her head. Get up. We haven't settled things yet.

Don't you dare lose to anyone other than me, China.

Kagura stood, leaning on her umbrella for support. As the club arced down to meet her, she jumped, landing on it with her good foot, and pushed off to leap into the air above the ogre. It turned its head up to stare at her, slow, stupid. She twisted in midair and rammed the tip of her umbrella deep into the soft area under its chin.

The ogre teetered and fell forward. Kagura barely had time to wrench her blood-soaked umbrella out of its head and limp out of its path before it crashed to the floor.

Kamui was thrilled. Abuto was worried. Kagura panted and wiped a stray droplet of blood from her face.

The ogre's corpse dissolved into an array of blue sparks. Kagura felt the pain in her ankle subside. What…? Aside from the bruises on her ribs and back, her injuries had disappeared along with the ogre. Even the blood was gone.

Before Kagura could react, the blue sparks collected once more to form a new enemy, this one with long, scaly limbs and a forked tongue that slipped in and out of its mouth as its slit-pupil eyes followed Kagura's every movement.

"Keep going." Kamui didn't sound angry like he had before. His smile was flawlessly pleased.

Kagura didn't look up at her brother. She stood, raised her umbrella, and charged.

…

After a few hours of sitting with Kamui and watching Kagura 'train', Abuto had had enough. Sure, it was pretty cool to see a 5-year-old beat the shit out of monster after monster, but after a while… Her injuries disappeared after each match, but he knew from experience that the pain was real every time. The kid was a damn machine, but it was still disturbing to see her with all manner of broken bones and bloody wounds.

Kamui, on the other hand, couldn't get enough. His sister—his 5-year-old sister—had fought against dozens of opponents that should have outclassed her and hadn't lost even once. Sure, some of it was her older self's fighting ability and experience showing through, but there was also real talent there.

So when Abuto strode forward to the control panel and entered the command that would end the endless parade of monsters and reopen the stairs, Kamui was a little annoyed.

Kagura walked up the stairs slowly. Finally, it was over. No serious injuries remained on her body, but there were plenty of bruises, cuts, and scratches to go around. Plus, she was so tired her thoughts were getting fuzzy. As she exited the pit, she turned an ear to the conversation between the Oji-san and Nii-chan for the first time since she'd started fighting. It sounded like…an argument?

"I know how you feel," Abuto was saying, "but she's exhausted, Commander, and—"

"Oji-san always calls Nii-chan a commander, uh-huh," Kagura interrupted. "What's Nii-chan a commander of?"

"Where do you think you are, kid? Your brother's the commander of this whole ship. He used to be the admiral of the Harusame space pirates-"

"Abuto," Kamui interrupted, a warning in his voice.

Kagura stilled and a shadow crossed her face. Her hand formed a tiny fist, trembling. "Pirate? Nii-chan's…a pirate…" That meant those men who'd tried to kill her were under his command. He hadn't rescued her and Sougo, he'd…taken them prisoner?

"…Cat's out of the bag, I guess." Kamui's voice was cold and his smile had stiffened. He didn't like that look on Kagura's face. Her eyes were wide and she was frozen where she stood.

Don't look at me like that.

"Don't tell me…all this time she's been here, she didn't realize? You didn't say anything to her?" Abuto scratched his chin. "She was bound to find out sooner or later."

Kamui turned back to Kagura to reassure her, but she found her footing and flinched away from him, betrayal written on her face.

Don't look at me like the real Kagura does.

It had been so easy to fall back into their old routines. When he was with her, he didn't have to remember the past ten years. Everything that had torn their family apart could be put aside.

That was over now.

"If you're a pirate, and Big Kagura is on earth, then where's…where's Papi, uh-huh?" Kagura was terrified to ask what she really wanted to know.

"Right now? He's probably on some distant planet hunting aliens." Kamui's voice was dangerous. Abuto wasn't sure what the Kamui was feeling, but he felt a spike of worry for the little girl's sake.

"Mami…where's Mami? She's better, right?" Kagura's trembling voice rose in pitch. She clutched her hands to her chest, as if trying to convince herself. "If she doesn't need Nii-chan or Papi or me, then she's better, uh-huh. Papi found a cure and-"

"She's dead."

Kagura looked up at her brother. His face was incredibly blank.

"No. No. Papi said he would find a cure. Papi promised—"

"That man is the reason she died."

Abuto wanted to tell Kamui to take it easy on the poor kid, but the way Kamui was looking right now, Abuto didn't want to lose another arm.

"W…when…" Kagura's breaths were coming in stutters.

"She died a long time ago. Stop crying. You look really pathetic when you cry, Kagura."

"Commander…" Abuto interjected, "let me take her back to her room."

Kamui turned toward his partner in surprise, as if he'd forgotten Abuto was there. "Why? We're not done training."

Abuto shifted uncomfortably. He was probably risking his life with this, but… "I think the young lady's had enough."

Kamui held his gaze for a long moment. "If you say so." Then, so quickly that Kagura's eyes couldn't follow his movements, he kicked Abuto in the stomach. Abuto went flying back to the opposite wall, the force of the impact leaving a dent in the metal. He slid down into a sitting position and put his hand to what felt like a good few broken ribs. Kagura's eyes flitted to the older man's mouth, where the heaving of his lungs had forced blood to his lips.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten how the Yato decide authority? If you want to keep questioning my command, you know where to find me." Kamui turned and strolled to the exit, not sparing a second glance for the two left behind.

…

Sougo was taking a much deserved break after a long day of staring at the wall (seriously, he was going to go stir crazy shut up in this room), when the door opened and a crying Kagura ran in and buried herself in the blankets of her bed.

That was odd. Not that she'd been crying—after all, she'd just spent a couple hours with that crazy brother of hers—but that she'd stayed away from Sougo. The kid version of Kagura was nothing if not clingy. If someone had hurt her feelings, she usually wouldn't be able to stop herself from whining to him about it.

"What's wrong, shrimp? Did you get your period?"

When Kagura didn't respond to ask him what a period was, he got up to check on her. The lump under the blankets was shaking with the force of her sobs. Sougo pulled back the covers and pushed her shoulder to look at her face.

"Hey, when your elder asks you a question, you should…respond…"

Kagura's eyes were screwed shut. Her hands were pressing into the sides of her head, covering her ears, her fingernails digging into her scalp. There was a tear in the skin of her lip where she'd bitten it.

Kagura wasn't just crying. She was shaking with fear.

Sougo swore. "What the hell happened, Kagura?"

Kagura jerked sharply, as if noticing his presence for the first time. "S-Sougo…"

"Did that space criminal do something to you?" He scanned Kagura's body for injuries that would indicate that that guy had hurt her while they were 'training' or whatever. Sougo was a sadist (and proud), but he wouldn't hurt a kid. If that guy had actually laid hands on his own sister…

She was covered in little bruises and cuts, each one standing out like a beacon against her pale skin. What had the space criminal put her through?

"Sougo…I think Nii-chan's a b-bad guy." Kagura's voice was shaking as much as her body.

So Kamui had finally shown his true colors in front of her. How to respond, though? "Don't cry about something like that, seriously."

"Nii-chan is a pirate…Papi is gone…and Mami…"

"What?" Sougo knew about Kagura's father, the famous alien sweeper, but he couldn't remember ever hearing anything about her mother.

"Nii-chan said…" Kagura swallowed and sniffed. "He said Mami died."

Well, that explained her current state. Sougo sat down on the bed next to her. "How?"

"She was sick for a long t-time. I knew she was sick, but, but, Papi was always looking for a cure. He promised…" Kagura was really alone, wasn't she? Her family wasn't even a family anymore. The brother she'd relied on now scared her. The father she'd trusted had failed. The mother she'd loved had…had… Kagura shuffled closer to Sougo and pulled on his sleeve. "My family is gone."

Sougo felt a twinge of some unfamiliar feeling. Sympathy? He knew how she felt, to have to watch someone you love suffer and waste away and not be able to do anything. Even if you should have expected it, you never really believe it could happen until it does.

When Mitsuba had died, Sougo didn't know what he would have done without the Shinsengumi—the routines, the missions, the purpose it gave him. Right now, Kagura needed even more than that, but she had nothing. The look on her face told him she no longer trusted her brother, and with her father was who-knows-where, all she had was him.

It was up to him, then. Sougo lay flat on the bed beside her and gazed up at the ceiling. "I don't know about the family you used to have, but the older Kagura has a big family."

Kagura's sniffling paused. "Really?"

"Yeah… she lives with the silver-haired guy with the natural perm—he's a samurai but he's a useless adult." Danna and Kagura were pretty close, from what Sougo knew. They'd lived together for years now, and he was probably the father-slash-brother figure she missed in her life. Gintoki was a lazy bastard and a super sadist like Sougo, but he knew Danna would die before he let anything happen to the Yato girl. Well, anything serious.

Sougo vaguely wondered what he would do if Danna found out the two of them had been kidnapped by that crazy brother of hers. He'd either spearhead a rescue mission or just continue picking his nose and reading JUMP, depending on whether he believed Sougo could take care of the situation.

So far, Sougo had kind of been neglecting his duty both as a policeman and as a babysitter. It had seemed like the best thing to do was lay low 'til they reached a planet or another ship to escape with Kagura, but…

All those bruises.

Maybe waiting was the wrong choice.

"Who else?" Kagura asked through tears.

Oh, yeah. He'd been saying something, hadn't he? Kagura's Earth family. Well… "There's a guy with glasses who's pretty bland but a huge otaku, and his sister—" Sougo looked at Kagura. She was still shuddering, but he could tell she was listening. "She's a gorilla woman who can't cook, but you and her seem to get along. Oh, and you've got an old lady, an ugly woman with cat ears, a robot maid…"

Kagura let out a small smile. "What the heck? They sound weird."

"They're a bunch of freaks. But they're nothing a 15-year-old monster girl can't handle. That's you, by the way. You're as much a freak as the rest of them."

"You too, Mr. Do-S…" Kagura's voice petered out even as she drew closer to him. Sougo reminded himself to create a voodoo doll for whoever had called him a sadist in front of Kagura. Over the next hour, he sat still, listening to her breath evening out into sleep as the tear tracks dried on her face.

Notes: Again, poor Kagura… :( She's been through a lot, but she can take it. If she seems a little OP for a 5-year-old, remember:

1. She's a Yato. Remember how Kamui would beat up those Amanto when he was a little kid? Oof.

2. She's not actually 5. She's a 15-year-old trapped in a 5-year-old's body, and she still has muscle memory and all that other crap. Trust me, it's "science"…

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