Sophie
She sat back on the couch, gripping her glass of juice and grumbled at the aches she still had. It had been 6 days since the viaduct collapsed and she'd finally been released yesterday. The doctors deciding that her head injury would recover just as well at home as it would in the hospital.
Home.
That was a joke. The atmosphere was awful. All her mum did was mope around, and sometimes Sophie'd caught her wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. Rosie had told her what had happened a couple of days ago. Sitting down next to the bed and holding her left hand while Sian grasped her right. Rosie tearfully told her about another Christmas, another Webster family disaster.
Baby Jack was her half brother. She'd blinked, made a snorting noise and just gone back to sleep to block out the latest news. She'd deal with it later when she felt strong enough; Rosie assuring her she'd hold off and they'd tackle it and their parents together. While she was in the hospital, it seemed Sian never went home. Whenever Sophie opened her eyes, the blonde hair was the first thing she saw, and normally the last thing she saw before she went to sleep. Even when she'd been moved to a ward after she'd been deemed healthy enough, Sian never went home. Literally camping next to the bed at night. Rosie had surprised her too. In between the sporadic visits from her dad and the regular visits from her mum, Rosie had been really supportive, even yelling at the nurse when she'd tried to shoo Sian out of the ward. She'd treated her like a younger sister, much different to what Sophie and her stupid foggy brain could remember.
She wrinkled her nose, the house smelt damp. No one had been allowed back until 2 days ago and the house had suffered, although not as much as other houses. She thought about the scene of devastation. There was nothing where the corner shop had been. Nothing. Just a small pile of rubble and several bunches of flowers left where the door once stood. Left to remember Molly she supposed. She was surprised by how she didn't really feel anything on seeing it, yet Sian had broken down in floods of tears at the state of the shop.
Hugging Sophie close and sobbing into her neck. Sophie smiled. The feeling of utter completeness at holding her friend in her arms, the rightness of it, even when Sian was distressed overwhelmed her. They just fit together in each other's arms. The smell of Sian's hair and the feeling of her nose nuzzled into her neck making Sophie's hormones sit up and pay attention. And her head to start hurting again, although thankfully it had now gone from blinding, crippling pain to a dull throb that sat just behind her eyes.
Not quite sure of who was comforting who at the scenes of devastation, Sophie managed to somehow calm the hysterical blonde down as she kept sobbing about 'almost losing her' and weirdly, something about 'needing a second chance' and 'never letting her go again'.
Sophie's heart had soared at hearing the cryptic words from her friend's mouth. She wasn't stupid. A bit muggy headed right now sure, but not stupid. She'd seen some of the looks Sian had been throwing her way, and they were far from being just friendship style looks. The longing looks, looks of utter devastation as she mentioned Lee. Was he her boyfriend because she was sure she could remember a date with, as crazy as it sounded a Harry Potter film, a kebab and...Rosie? Sian's face had changed on that last memory resurfacing. It went from having a haunted look behind those bright blue eyes to having a flicker of hope appear in them. She'd gone to say something, Sophie was sure of it, but Rosie had hushed her up with a hasty...
"We have to let her remember things by herself Sian, REMEMBER?"
To be fair to Rosie, she didn't actually look happy saying it and when Sian stormed off "to go get a drink for everyone" Sophie wasn't surprised when Rosie followed her with some lame excuse about using the toilet. Unknown to them, Sophie had quietly followed, and found a heated debate about 'when WAS the right time to tell her'. She'd ducked back when Rosie had made to return and scooted back to her bed before her sister had chance to notice her. She'd had to think for a minute. Sian and Rosie? She shook her head slightly. Nah. They wouldn't. Rosie was with Jason now, and Ryan was out of the picture that much she'd been told, which was aggravating.
They'd tell her some things, but not the full picture.
Like, why was Sian staying full time with them? Not that she'd complain. But the sleeping arrangements were weird. Sian had always stayed with her when they'd had sleep overs. It didn't matter there was only one bed. She smiled. Certain memories she could remember made her feel warm when she thought of them. Sleep overs with Sian were always fun. She realised now how much she loved waking up next to her. It was always the same. They'd fall to sleep lying next to each other and when they woke they're be wrapped up together, limbs entwined and Sophie with her head snuggled into Sian's shoulder.
Heaven she now realised. She was not buying the 'you've been ill you need your own bed and space to heal' line her mother had thrown at her to explain the made up extra bed in Rosie's room.
Taking another sip of her drink she rested her head back. The headache that appeared whenever she thought of Sian and her feelings making itself known. Why couldn't she remember things to do with Sian? She was sure they were important. No Ryan, no Lee or Ben, the looks, her feelings. She couldn't be wrong could she?
She rubbed her temples, trying to will the headache away. She thought about the state of the street she'd grown up in. Slowly putting itself back together. The viaduct was trashed and was getting demolished. Owen, Mary, Kylie, Ashley and Molly were all dead. Sunita and Rita were injured but recovering and Peter was going to be in hospital for a long time. But he was alive. As was she. Somehow she'd survived an entire shop landing on her.
She didn't even want to think about the shambles that was her parents' marriage. They'd done it again. Screwed it up. Literally. Well, her dad had. And now she had a baby brother. She rubbed her hand over her eyes. Trying to will the memories she craved back into her mind to lift the grey fog in there.
God. It was insane. She swore blind her life was like a soap opera at times.
She looked around the empty house, missing Sian. It was her own fault. She'd ordered everyone to go out and leave her some time alone. She'd been desperate for some time to think, and now with her thoughts piling on top of each other she wished she hadn't forced everyone out.
Groaning at the pain as she got herself upright, she stood up and went to wander round her bedroom again just to do something, anything. Detouring into Rosie's bedroom, she spotted Sian's iPod lying next to her put up bed. Smiling to herself and realising she had an excuse to phone her, she picked it up her finger brushing over the screen and causing it to switch on the machine. Glancing down at the illuminated screen she frowned as she saw the name of the playlist.
"Sophie"
Huh?
Sian had a playlist named after her? Putting the headphones in, she lay back on the bed, smiling as Sian's scent surrounded her from the bed clothes. Pressing play on the iPod she listened to the playlist.
Russian Roulette came on and she was hit with memories.
Making up after an argument over poor dopey Ryan, misreading the signals or so she thought. Leaning in and pressing hesitant lips on Sian's. Feeling Sian reciprocate, her lips chasing hers as they parted and then shared a second kiss. Then Sian running out on her.
Sophie's eyes popped open. Holy shit. They had kissed. Clicking on the 'next' button
Paramore came on and she was assaulted with more memories. Her granddads building yard and finally making up and getting the girl. Paramore playing on the radio they'd turned on as they REALLY made up. Gently touching her lips, the smile on her face couldn't get any wider as she recalled Sian's hand running through her hair, pulling her closer as those soft lips caressed hers, showed her how sorry she was. Jesus, they'd kissed for what felt like hours, not one person overpowering the other like the kisses she'd shared with Ben, but just a mutual give and take as they affirmed their feelings for each other.
Pressing the 'next' button again the Vampire Weekend started playing through the speakers. Headache firmly in place, her brain was flooded with images of Leeds. Leeds? YES! The festival. How could she have forgotten? They'd had such a blast. Enjoying the music and snuggling together for the whole weekend, finding it more and more difficult to keep their hands off each other. Boundaries being pushed and blurring.
Still listening to what she now remembered was Sian's favourite band, she flicked through the playlist, noticing that every song had some connection to them and their relationship.
Some Rihanna tracks,The Teletubbies theme? She laughed remembering her mum and dad in happier times utterly embarrassing her. She flicked through more tracks.
The choir and Hayley and Roys wedding and being outed. Their panic seemed so silly now, she knew her parents were ok with it, trying their best and her daft sister had been the biggest shock of all. So supportive and proud of her little sister for standing by her belief in who she was. Accepting without questioning, she couldn't have asked any more of Rosie and she found herself ashamed at how she'd automatically written her sibling off as Dozy Plebster.
You Raise Me Up, Perfect Day, they were all here. Sian's way of documenting their relationship. And she must have been listening to it again before she'd gone out, ordered out by Sophie. Poor Sian, she must have hated not being able to touch her, tell her what was going on. This soundtrack her way of remembering what they'd had.
She stood up, headache be damned, she was going to find her girlfriend and make it up to her.