Chapter 6 – My favorite Christmas

It was 5 o'clock when Derek woke up the next morning. As excited as he was to watch Daniel opening his presents from Santa, he knew it was too early for the boy to wake up. He took a deep breath and closed back his eyes. He managed to snooze for another hour.

Around 6 o'clock, Derek got out of bed. He walked up to the window, watching the darken street. The rain and the warm temperature had melted the snow. He was disappointed for not having a white Christmas for Daniel, but he was sure they would find other ways to entertain. He lingered by the window a few minutes, still hoping that he would hear steps outside on the hall. As the house stayed in perfect silence and the sleep was long gone, Derek decided to start his morning. He walked out of his room and went into Daniel's. Daniel was sleeping in the middle of the bed, with the quilt half on the floor. Derek pulled the quilt over him and Daniel didn't even flinch. He wasn't going to wake up any time soon, Derek noticed. He was a little disappointed because in his imagination, Daniel should have been up already, anxious to see what Santa brought, but he was also aware of the fact that Daniel was only 3 and he hadn't spent many Christmases so to know what Christmas spirit means. Derek left Daniel's room and, being outside on the hall, beside Meredith's room, he couldn't help it and slowly opened the door. Meredith was snoring lightly, in a deep sleep same as Daniel's. It seemed that he had no other thing to do but go downstairs and make coffee, maybe even start making breakfast. Instead of the coffee, he remembered, he had to eat from a cookie and sip from the milk, so that Daniel would see Santa had visited their house. Having Daniel still asleep, allowed him to arrange the presents under the Christmas tree, too.

And somehow he made it through until 7 o'clock. It was time to do something about Meredith. He filled a mug with fresh coffee and returned upstairs, quietly entering in Meredith's room. He wanted to wake her up nicely and so he put the fresh, smelly coffee beside her bed, on the nightstand. Meredith sniffed a little and rubbed her nose as she felt the smell beside her, but it was enough to turn her head away and keep sleeping.

Derek sighed, disappointed. He still couldn't understand how everyone was still asleep in the Christmas morning. As far as he remembered, he and his sisters were up before their parents, at this hour, already ripping the papers to their presents. He didn't want to shake Meredith and talk to her, to wake up; he didn't want to be rude. Resigned, he put a chair beside the window and took a seat, half turned to Meredith's bed so he could watch her waking up. And waited. Now and then Meredith was sniffing or mumbling something, but the room, as well as the entire house, remained quiet and calm. While he waited, rain started to pour outside. Maybe it would turn into snow, he thought and hoped.

Meredith's sleep became more restless and seemed like a sign that she was waking up. Derek stayed in his chair and just watched her as she rolled from one side to another, looking for the right position to sleep on. She finally settled with her face turned to the window.

Derek watched her face, calm and satisfied; he knew she wasn't sleeping anymore, but she didn't know he was there.

Meredith suddenly opened her eyes, stirring both of them.

"You're doing it again!" she frowned as she trailed up on her pillow.

"What?"

"You're watching me sleep."

"Do you still remember that?" he asked, amused.

"Of course I do. It was creepy back then, too."

Derek chuckled and got up of his chair, walking to her bed. "Shouldn't we wake up and start celebrating Christmas?" he asked. "At this hour, people are already playing with their toys from Santa."

Meredith giggled. "You and I are a little too old for receiving toys from Santa, as for Daniel, let him sleep. He has plenty of time to play. Oooh!" she remembered. "The presents! I didn't…"

"I did it," Derek reassured her. "So you're not going to get up and go in Danny's room to wake him up?"

Meredith shook her head as no. She shifted away, making him room beside her.

"There's something you haven't had the chance to experience, yet," she told him while he got in bed with her. "It can be exhausting sometimes to handle your job and your kid. Both of them require you to maximum. So I sleep as much as I can, when time permits."

Derek nodded understandingly. He took the mug and gave it to her.

"Thanks," she smiled and took a sip. She handed it back to him.

He took a sip, too, and gave it back to her.

Meredith giggled and cradled the mug in her hands. The sound of the rain knocking to her window made her aware of the weather outside. She sighed, visibly as disappointed as Derek.

"Are we going 'home' today?" Derek asked.

Meredith smiled and shook her head. "There's something wrong with the pluming. It flooded the kitchen yesterday."

"I can take a look at it," he offered.

"I didn't know you have extra skills," she laughed.

Derek smiled, narrowing her eyes. "You should have known that."

"I forgot about some of them. Sorry," she joked.

"Do you mind if I stay here for a couple of days?"

Although he had extended his visits before, Meredith was still surprised to hear him willing to stay longer. "Don't you have other plans?"

"I can go…" he answered, troubled by her question.

"You can stay," she reassured him.

"I don't have other plans than Daniel."

"You can stay," she nodded.

"Alright. Then I will make time to go and see what's with the pluming."

"Ok."

Derek noticed by the way she was biting her lip that she wanted to say or ask something.

"What is it?" he asked.

"What?" she looked as if she didn't know why he was asking.

"Is there something you want to ask me? Or tell me?"

"No," she mumbled, shaking her head. Then she nodded.

"Meredith, we're friends."

She sighed and took another sip from her coffee, before she handed it to Derek. "How does Addison feel about all these?"

Derek looked up, caught off guard with the talk about Addison. He gave Meredith the cup back. "She's… ok. As ok she can be."

"Doesn't she mind that you're missing Christmas with her?"

Derek couldn't answer to that, right away, though he knew the answer. "She needs to understand. She knows how much I want to start a relationship with Daniel. But let's not talk about this."

"We have to, because Derek, she's going to be Daniel's step-mother. And he won't be visiting you much if she doesn't like him."

"She likes him already and besides that, she won't be his step-mother very soon. There's plenty of time for her."

"Ok," Meredith seemed to accept his explanation.

"Now let's talk about your love life, too," he challenged her.

"No," she shook her head. "Because I told you, I have no one. I don't even remember when my last relationship was."

"But wasn't there a man, who came closer to Daniel? One of the guys you dated?"

Meredith didn't seem to like the topic. "I don't date, Derek. And I don't bring random men into our house. Damon and I have a strict rule about this."

Derek had to admit he was relieved about that. He didn't like, though, to hear that Meredith was still a one-night stand woman.

"Back to your love life now…"

"No," he grinned. "But can we wake him up now?" Derek asked anxiously.

"No!" she laughed. "And stop. Let him sleep."

"Fine," he pouted childishly. "I don't understand you two."

"Yeah. We're special," she smiled.

Derek just smiled. "Which was your favorite Christmas so far?"

"I don't know," she answered, thoughtful. "I guess the last 3 Christmases."

"Since you have Daniel," he added.

"Yes. But I am hoping this to be my favorite out of 4 of them."

"Really?" Derek grinned.

Meredith punched him in his arm. "Not because you're here."

"Ok," Derek winced, rubbing the spot she had hit. "There's no need to become aggressive."

"Whining," Meredith mumbled, rolling her eyes. "You and Danny have this in common."

"Never say that again," he frowned.

"You're worried about your ego?" she smiled.

"Yes!"

Meredith sighed, rolling her eyes, again. "I hope Danny will grow up before you."

"Thank you," he replied sarcastically.

She just smiled, patting his arm. "You'll live. And I am hoping this Christmas to be my favorite, because it's the first one Danny understands and waits for Santa."

"He didn't realize how big Santa is, yet," he added with a chuckle. "How did you spend last Christmas?"

"At home. I get a special favor and I am not paged for Christmas."

"Nice of them."

"Not really. But they know I don't have anyone to let Danny with."

That hurt a little, making Derek feel guilty.

"But I am not complaining, because I am one of the few surgeons who get to spend each Christmas at home with its kid. As for our last Christmas… we stayed home and we built a fort."

"A fort?" he laughed. "Interesting. Tell me more."

"Didn't you see it in his bedroom, in the corner by the door?"

"I didn't pay much attention to it," he noticed.

"It's not really that interesting. It's rather one wall. We made it out of cubes and it went down twice by now. No one plays it around it because Danny doesn't allow."

"Not to break it."

"That's right."

"He has time. He's playing with cars now, but he'll want to be a soldier or something."

"A few days ago I walked on one of his cars' wheels."

"Ouch."

"You can say that again," she laughed. "If he decides to play soldier, he might as well start hunting me."

"But which was your favorite Christmas as child?"

Meredith looked at him, a little uncomfortable with his question. "You're very curious."

Derek just shrugged. "It's not like I am committing an indiscretion."

"What's your favorite?"

"Ugh. My favorite," he smirked. "When we went with our parents to skiing. Santa came in visit that night at the cottage we stayed at." He remained dreamful for a while, remembering that part of his childhood. "He never skied, right?"

"Danny? No. But I was thinking maybe I take him somewhere to the mountain, next year."

"That would be nice," he agreed.

"I know."

"So," he looked at her, still waiting to tell about her favorite Christmas.

"What?" she pretended she didn't know what he wanted to know.

Derek gave her a knowing look. "Why is it so hard?"

"I don't. Maybe because I didn't have a special one?" she asked sarcastically. "use your imagination."

Derek looked, embarrassed. Meredith had told him a little about her childhood with her mother and about their relationship, and he remembered all that just now. "Do you want a cookie?" he asked her.

"To comfort me?" she smiled.

Derek nodded. "We baked delicious cookies yesterday."

"We did," she giggled. "We own a secret recipe."

Derek started to laugh as he heard that. "Maybe it was secret to you. I think the others know it ingredient by ingredient."

"You're sweet," she made a face at him.

"You're sweet, too," he laughed heartily, meaning the compliment. It was his first instinct to give her a kiss on the cheek before he got out of bed. "I am going to bring cookies."

Meredith stayed bewildered by his gestures; because there had been more than one gesture that confused her and made her question herself what kind of relationship he and Addison had.

"Bring a coffee for you!" she shouted after him. "Don't drink mine."

She laughed at Derek's infectious laughter. She tucked the blanket around her and while he waited for Derek to come back, she heard little footsteps outside on the hall.

"Danny?"

"Mommy?" he asked, confused, from somewhere out there.

"I am in my room, Danny," she told him. And Daniel showed up, scuffing his feet as he walked in. He ran until her bed and hung with both hands to climb up, helped by his mother. He crawled to Meredith and nestled in bed beside her.

Meredith held an arm around his tiny body and kissed the top of his head, while he seemed to be snoozing beside her. She slowly brushed his blond hair, now and then kissing him.

"You happy, mommy?" he asked out of nowhere, without even opening his eyes.

Meredith was surprised to hear him asking that as she expected to see him falling asleep again. "Yes," she smiled. "Are you happy?" she asked. Daniel nodded sleepily."Good," she kissed the top of his head once more.

"Hey!" Derek beamed as he came back into Meredith's room and found Daniel there. "Look who's up."

Meredith put a finger against her lips as sign for him to be quiet.

"Why?" he asked loudly.

"Derek!" she hissed.

Daniel opened his eyes and lazily straightened up to look at Derek. He smiled sleepily and rubbed his eyes as he looked at Meredith, telling her in whisper, "He's daddy."

Meredith glanced at Derek for his reaction, because Daniel's had been loud enough for Derek's ears.

A big smile was lightening Derek's face in that moment. He walked to their bed, putting the plate and the mug on the nightstand and taking Daniel into his arms.

"Good morning, buddy," he kissed him. "Merry Christmas!"

Daniel giggled, still rubbing his eyes. Derek hugged him close, breathing in his scent and re-living the moment 3 years back when he first held his son. This was definitely his favorite Christmas, now, and Meredith couldn't give him a better Christmas gift than hearing the word 'daddy' coming from Daniel.

"Do you want a cookie?" Meredith asked Daniel.

"Aren't you excited to see what Santa brought?" Derek cut in. His excitement couldn't hold back any longer.

"Derek," Meredith sighed, amused.

Derek smiled, rocking Daniel, slowly. "Please!" he asked nicely.

Meredith had no other choice but let him do as he wanted. "Let's see what Santa brought."

"Finally," Derek mumbled with relief and waited with Daniel for Meredith to get out of bed and then, they headed downstairs together.

Because of the gray day outside, the room was poor lighted, so Meredith had to turn the lights on. Daniel wiggled in Derek's arms at the sight of the presents under the Christmas tree. Derek put him down, but Daniel lingered by his side a little longer, as if he was shy to go there.

"I think those are for you, Danny," Meredith laughed.

Daniel was no longer sleepy anymore as he smiled up at his mommy and then ran to the Christmas tree. He fell on his knees and looked awed at all those things, not knowing what to touch first.

"Mer!" Derek stirred suddenly as he remembered something.

"What now?"

"Camera. Bring the camera quickly!"

"And make him wait? I have my camera with me," she answered, pointing to her head.

Derek made a face, whimpering childishly.

"Christmas doesn't do well to you," she noticed, amused. She looked away, trying to ignore Derek. "What do you have there, Danny?"

"A bike!" he giggled. A little blue bike was the first thing he could distinguish. He looked at his mother, as if looking for her approval, and as Meredith nodded, he stood up to go and try his bike.

"Let me help you," Derek brought the bike closer and helped Daniel mount it. Daniel giggled delightedly as he held the handlebar. "You can take a ride with it later. Now let's see what else we have here," Derek told him.

His eyes immediately locked on the big box from Derek.

Derek elbowed Meredith, smug, and knelt down to help Daniel open the box. "It's a train!" he pretended to be surprised.

Daniel gasped and looked at Derek, with big, happy eyes.

"Let's see what we can do with it," Derek suggested and Daniel agreed eagerly.

Derek had Daniel's entire attention with that present; he gasped with each item Derek took out of the box and the picture of how everything would look like in the end charmed him completely. No other present mattered anymore. His grandmother had sent him a toy and sweater as gift from Santa, but Derek decided to look at them later.

Meredith stayed behind watching their excitement as they took everything out of the box and tried to make an idea how to put it together. In that moment, Derek didn't look older than Daniel; actually, he hadn't been older than Daniel, all morning. She had to admit she was jealous of all the attention Derek was receiving from Daniel, as this was different from what she had been used to. On the other hand, she didn't want to cut in because she knew how important it was for them to bond with each other, and Derek seemed to be successful.

"I am going to make breakfast," she told them, and just Derek glanced up at her as sign that he heard her. "You need to make him eat," she warned him.

"Don't worry," he reassured her, with a big smile on his face.

Meredith left them alone with their toys and went in the kitchen to start making breakfast. While she thought what she could cook, Derek came in with something in his hands and a smile on his face.

"What's that?" she asked suspiciously.

Derek stopped beside her and gave her a small gift bag. "From Santa."

"Derek…" she was speechless and also embarrassed. "I didn't give you anything."

Derek pushed gently the bag against her hands for her to take it, saying, "You've given me more than I could dare to ask. Thank you." He let the bag in her hands and smiled as he encouraged her to look in.

Meredith shook her head, clearing her thoughts and looked inside, from where she took a scarf out. "It's pretty. Thank you." She smiled.

"I am glad you like it," he smiled back. He took a step closer to her and caressed the side of her body with his hand. "I heard you talking to Daniel last night, so I am going to make a first promise. I won't let you and Daniel down."

She looked down at their hands and she let hers rest on his arms, allowing gently to be pulled to his chest. She shouldn't be allowing this; his strong arms around him, his warm breath against her ear and the beat of her heart inside her chest.

"Daddy!" Daniel called from the living room.

They pulled away, slowly.

"You need to stop doing this," she told him.

Derek attempted an apologetic smile.

"Derek!" Daniel called after him again.

"He needs to get used to your name," she reassured him.

"I know," he nodded. "I'd better go to him."

Meredith nodded and watched him leaving. She couldn't ignore the warmth inside her body or the thoughts in her head that were encouraging her to believe and hope for something bigger than Derek. Breakfast was the last thing on her mind in that moment. She put some cookies on a plate and took out glasses for the milk. She was sure the others weren't that preoccupied by the breakfast either.

---

With Meredith's ok, Derek and Daniel put the whole setting for the train in a corner of the living room, and worked at it the whole morning. Just around noon, the train started to move sweeping through a mountain and sliding over a hill, down and then stopping in a station to pick a cookie and take it further.

"This must have cost you a fortune," Meredith stated as she came to see what they were doing.

Derek frowned at her. "I don't know. Santa used his credit card."

Meredith just laughed. "You two need to get your butts off the floor. You've been sitting there all morning."

"We're good," Derek nodded and Daniel agreed with him.

"Take a break," she told them. "Visit the bathroom. You got to feel the need to go to the bathroom. Daniel, you don't want to wet your pants, do you?"

"Mommy," Daniel whimpered for being disturbed.

"Derek, take his hand and both of them get off the floor. Now," she said firmly, not leaving place for any other argument. "Tuck is about to arrive and you can play again when he gets here."

Derek and Daniel started to heavily stand up; Derek stretching his body and Daniel rubbing his butt.

"You're like two old people," Meredith laughed at them.

Probably they had more needs than they wanted to admit, because they stayed upstairs for a while. In the meantime, a car stopped in front of the house. As she looked out the window, Meredith saw it was Tucker bringing his son. She hurried to the door to greet them.

"Merry Christmas, Meredith!" Tucker cheered.

"Merry Christmas, Tucker and little Tuck."

The boy waved happily at her. "Hello, Meredith."

"Come on in," she invited them inside. "Daniel, Tuck is here!" she announced.

"We're coming!" Derek answered and their steps were heard running down the stairs.

Tucker looked questioningly at Meredith. "Damon?"

She smiled and answered, "Derek."

"Oh," he looked surprised.

"Yeah," she nodded, agreeing.

"Tuck!" Daniel beamed when he saw his friend. "Look!" he pointed, pulling on Derek's hand. "He's Derek. He's my daddy."

"Go and show each other what Santa brought you," Tucker told them, giving little Tuck a bag.

"I have a train!" Daniel told Tuck excitedly.

"Wow!" Tuck gasped and ran to see the wonder.

"A train? Impressive," Tucker laughed. He held his hand out to Derek. "Tucker Bailey."

"Bailey's husband," Derek remembered her and shook Tucker's hand, introducing himself, "Derek Shepherd."

"Nice meeting you," Tucker smiled politely. "Meredith, can you bring me Tuck's backpack? I am stopping by the house first."

"Sure. Give me a minute," she answered and left to bring the backpack from upstairs.

Left alone with each other, Derek and Tucker exchanged a few cordial smiles, until Derek said, "I am going back to the boys. It was…"

"He's calling you Daddy already," he stopped Derek.

Derek turned to Tucker, confused with his statement. "Yes."

Tucker looked a little uncomfortable with what he was going to say. "It's not my business and I apologize for this, but… You should take advantage of this second chance you received for being Daniel's daddy, because a few months ago you almost lost it."

Derek was confused. "What?"

"That's all I am saying. Maybe you won't have a third chance." Then he stopped because he heard Meredith coming downstairs.

"Here," she handed him the backpack. "So you're taking Bailey out for dinner, huh?" she giggled.

Tucker laughed. "Why's everyone calling her Bailey? Her name is Miranda."

Meredith laughed. "We know, but we don't think she likes to be called by her first name."

"Sometimes we're taking care of each other's kids. I think she should like being called Miranda, at least by you."

"We'll see," Meredith laughed.

"I'd better go now. We'll stop by later to pick him up."

"Ok. Have a nice evening."

"It was nice meeting you," Tucker told Derek.

"Same," he nodded politely.

After she closed the door, Meredith turned around and found Derek staring at her. "What?"

Derek stared at her a moment longer before he answered, "Nothing." Meredith had told him she didn't have a relationship lately and Daniel hadn't met any of the men she went out with, so he couldn't understand what Tucker meant to say. What was he missing?