A/N: Thanks for all the reviews! I love reading them:) Of course a special thanks goes to Vi0lentSerenity!

May 29, 2009

I don't own a thing, not even Hero/Heroine by Boys Like Girls.

Edward's POV

Emmett's eyes tracked my movents as I paced in my room. I stopped suddenly and pondered. Why had she missed school? Did she really just have the stomach flu, or was it something more? Something that kept Carlisle mind occupied, but wouldn't allow me to know?

I frowned and continued to walk the corners of my room. Alice quickly joined Emmett in watching me. Edward, there is nothing you can do. Besides I think there was something about the way Bella might have looked at Carlisle that made him try so hard not to let you know, she thought. I rolled my eyes remembering the look in Bella's face when she came out of Carlisle's office.

"I don't know Alice. Reading her face is hard enough without her blocked mind. It's driving me crazy not knowing anything," I said running my hands through my hair.

Emmett looked between us, frustrated that he didn't know what was going on. He shook his head. "Look, maybe it's nothing."

I paused and looked at him. "Doubt it," I said curtly before returning to my pacing. "There's something off about her blood. I just don't know what."

He rolled his eyes. "Edward, you don't know! Maybe she just has a poor immune system or something. What else could it be? She hides everything pretty well."

That I could not argue with. She did seem to know how to act when it came to her illness. "I think it may have something to do with her blood, not her immune system. Something is running through her blood," I said, not breaking a stride.

Alice's eyes widened. I froze and stared at her taking in her vision.. Bella was in the hospital with Carlisle. He was drawing blood from her. She looked very uncomfortable, staring off in the opposite direction turning green.

"Bella, I think I know why the treatments did not work," Carlisle said softly to her.

She looked at him now, confused, worried. "Why do you think?" Her voice cracked.

He sighed and looked down at her hands. "You have a rare condition of Leukemia, one that cannot be treated. But," he said looking up with a small smile, "we will not know until the lab results come back."

I sank down to the floor and put my face in my hands. Leukemia, she had cancer.

"What happened," Emmett asked his tone alert and worried.

Alice spoke in my behalf. "She has cancer, Emmett," her voice sad and soft.

Through Alice's mind, I saw Emmett sink a little further into my couch. I couldn't look up. I couldn't believe this was happening. She was so good, so understanding, how could this happen?

Emmett was suddenly up and walking towards me. He patted my head and walked out my door. Alice later did the same and left me to my misery. I couldn't believe this was happening. And Carlisle not telling me! Why could he not tell me something like this? He knows how I feel about her. I grabbed my legs trying to refrain myself from throwing something at the wall.

I walked downstairs several hours later. Carlisle was still not home and the rest of my family seemed to understand that I needed to be by myself. I walked over to my grand piano, running my hand over the keys, and sat down.

My fingers started to glide over the keys coming up with something I've never played before. I understood I was writing something for Bella, a lullaby by the sounds of it. It started off slow, low, and sad to my ears.

Suddenly my fingers seemed to find their way up to the middle of the keys. I was aware of Esme standing at the entrance to the room; I nodded motioning her to come closer.

She smiled, sadly at me and came up to the side of the piano. Alice suddenly appeared at my side sitting on the bench with me.

Is this for her? Esme thought.

I nodded not looking up from the keys my fingertips were pressing.

It's lovely, she thought, but it's a little sad.

I sighed.

"It's lovely," Alice said agreeing with Esme without knowing it.

I chuckled to myself, which sounded off to me.

Later that night, I went out to my meadow. Even though it was dark outside it was still special to me. I started to imagine Bella standing in the middle of the meadow looking at me in awe. Maybe her expression was from seeing me in the sunlight for the first time.

I smiled thinking how beautiful she would be herself in the sunlight with her hair spinning around her face. Her fragrance rolling off of her, hitting my senses like a boulder. The thought of it alone was enough to stimulate my venom glands.

I lowered my body to the soft ground of my sanctuary, focusing on the gentle breeze as my eyes closed of their volition. She was so beautiful in her own way. The way her heart beat, it sounded like my own lullaby. It was music like to my ears. Even though I haven't spent that much time with her, I bet I could pick it out of a crowd of a hundred or more.

Even though I knew I deserved this, finally falling in love and that person on their deathbed, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve to die, or know someone like me. I don't deserve someone like her; I deserve to roam the earth for the rest of eternity in misery.

Alice's vision flashed through my mind. Bella's arms wrapped around Alice waist, her eyes gleaming burgundy. Alice's arms were draped around Bella's shoulders. They were both smiling.

My eyes flashed open. How could I think of such a thing? I couldn't do that to her. But she's dying, a tiny part of me said. I shook my head. I couldn't have her in this life, she would resent me for doing that to her.

I took a deep breath and looked up at the cloudy sky. It was supposed to be sunny tomorrow. I don't think I could spend that much time away from her, especially now that I know.

She will be going out tomorrow night with Angela and Jessica to help them get a dress for homecoming. Maybe I should follow her there to make sure nothing happens to her. Even though she's… dying, she seems to be a magnet for trouble.

When I returned to my house, I went straight to my room. Alice must have told Carlisle when he returned home what she saw. He apologized over and over again in his mind about keeping Bella's condition from me, but I wouldn't give him any grief. She didn't want me to know, she didn't want anyone to know. She was trying to be normal, and with cancer that was extremely hard to do.

The next day came. I spent most of the day outside of the high school, making sure I kept Bella in my view the whole time. I had to skip through innocent students minds so I could keep an eye on her all day.

It wasn't always easy, as she didn't have a friend in each class and she went unnoticed by many of the other students, but Mike normally helped me by sticking to her side. Even though many times I wanted to jump out at him for the way he thought of her, but I kept myself restrained.

At lunch I saw Bella eating very little. She seemed to be losing her appetite more and more these day. Jessica accidentally bumped into her, making her wince silently, but she recovered quickly.

I noticed in her smile, however. It didn't reach her eyes, didn't gleam with true emotion. It was empty, simply for show. Failing to even remotely compare to her smiles for me. This one, as well as many others, was forced. I wondered if her muscles hurt from forcing so many smiles.

When the final bell rang she briskly walked to her car, trying to avoid Mike by the looks of it. She looked stressed, and anxious; something I didn't notice before. She seemed to be looking for something. My insides fought between fear and elation that she might possibly being looking for me.

I silently cursed myself for thinking that. I couldn't bring her into my world when she had so much going on in her own life. It's hardly fair.

I followed her, first to her house, then later to Port Angeles. I trailed behind Jessica's car as they searched for dresses.

I spent most of the time scanning people's thoughts as I waited for Bella, Jessica and Angela to change their position. It seemed as though they were going to walk on the boardwalk for awhile before going to dinner. Safe enough.

I casual jumped through the minds of innocent people with music playing softly in the background. When I went to check back on Bella I noticed they were heading down the board walk.

Only Bella wasn't with them. I quickly scanned both of their thoughts and figured out where she was going. The book store just a little bit away, that's fine. But Bella wasn't that easy.

She didn't show up at the bookstore. I tensed up quickly, skipping through peoples' thoughts trying to locate her. Finally I found her leaning on the railing with her back to the water.

I sighed and smiled. At least she didn't get into trouble… yet.

The sun was finally going down. I kept watch on her and it seemed as though she was lost. She looked from side to side for awhile before she leaned against the railing debating on where she should go next. I chuckled, rolling my eyes before finally stepping out of the car. The sun was finally gone, so I figured it would be safe to 'accidentally' bumping into her.

I took a detour through on of the stores and walked slowly until I came into view with her. She looked at me confused, but shocked. She quickly looked away when our eyes locked, blushing.

Another blow to my gut.

I walked up to her and leaned on the railing next to her. "Hello Bella," I said pleasantly.

She didn't look up from her feet. "Hi." She paused for awhile. God, I wish I could know what she was thinking. "I'm surprised to see you here," she said suddenly. "You weren't in school."

"No." I said simply.

"Did you go hiking?" I looked at her curiously before she continued. "Angela told me you and your family goes hiking whenever it's nice out."

I chuckled, if that's what you want to call it. "Yes, it's nice to get out once in awhile considering it's never really sunny here," I said glumly.

"That's one thing I miss about Arizona," she said softly. She turned towards the water and looked out in the distance. She looked so far away.

"What else do you miss?" I asked casually.

She sighed. "A lot of things, but I really should be getting back to Angela and Jessica. They are probably worried about me."

"Do you need some help finding your way? You looked a little lost," I teased.

She looked over to me. "Actually I am lost," she said smiling slightly.

I gestured with my head for her to follow me, and she did, falling into step beside me. It felt so strangely natural for her to be standing next to me like this. I let her scent linger in my mind longer then normal.

We were soon at a little Italian restaurant where Jessica and Angela were pacing in front of it. Bella looked at me out of the corner of her eye looking confused.

"How did you know where to bring me?" she asked quickly.

I shrugged. "Lucky guess. You better stop Angela and Jessica before they have a heart attack."

She looked at me for a long minute before walking a little ahead of me and calling out their name. They quickly looked relieved as soon as they saw her and then shocked to see who she was with.

"Bella, where did you go? We looked everywhere for you!" Jessica said quickly trying not to look at me.

Bella smiled sheepishly. "I got a little lost. Luckily I ran into Edward who showed me the way back."

"Would you mind if I join you?" I asked pleasantly. I saw Bella fight the impulse to look at me.

"S-sure," Jessica stuttered. Why is she with him? Was this some secret date?

"Actually Bella, we already ate," Angela said quickly shooting Jessica a look. We shouldn't have let Bella go off on her own. I just had a feeling she would get lost. Thank God she found Edward.

I chuckled softly to myself, it wasn't a lucky thing she found me, or rather I found her.

"Oh okay, well then-"

"Jessica, would you mind if I took Bella home?" I asked her. She needed to eat something.

"Edward, that's okay. I'm really not that hungry," Bella pressed.

"You need to eat something," I said turning to her.

Something in my eyes must have changed her decision because she turned back to Jessica and winked at her. "Okay," she said softly. "You guys go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow!"

They nodded and head off. As they did Bella turned back to me. "Really, I'm not hungry."

I looked at her again. She seemed to have lost a little bit of weight since the last time I saw her. "Bella, humor me."

She sighed and started towards the restaurant. I opened the door for her and she rolled her eyes. When we got our table and our drinks were taken Bella sat there for awhile staring at me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked curiously.

She folded her arms across her chest and looked down at the table. She seemed to be wondering if she should tell me. Just as I opened my mouth to verbalize my frustration, she raised her hand to stop me.

Then she sighed and looked into my eyes. "Could I ask you a question?"

I cocked my head to the side. "On one condition."

"What's that?" she asked innocently.

"You tell me one of your theories."

She looked at me for a second and then nodded. "But could I tell you in your car?" I nodded. "Okay, so how does it work?"

I raised my eyebrows. Could she tell that easily? "How does what work?"

The waitress came back with our drinks and then took Bella's order. I refused politely to order without looking up. I need to know what she was thinking without more distractions.

She took a sip of her water and then looked up at me again. "How did you know where I was today?"

I smiled. "It was an accident, a happy accident, but I didn't know you would be here."

"Well then how did you really know where I was meeting Jessica and Angela," she asked looking straight at me. She wasn't letting down.

I took a quick moment to arrange the words correctly in my head, so I wouldn't frighten her. "I overheard the conversation you were having with them in the store."

She looked at me for a moment. "How did you hear this? I didn't see you or your car anywhere near the store."

Damn, she was more observant than I thought. "I was able to hear you speak from across the lot," I said slowly.

She looked up at me as I said this. "Did you happen to hear what Carlisle said to me in the hospital then? Were you able to hear us even if you weren't in the room?"

I looked at her leaning forward a little bit. She really was worried about my knowing. Of course Carlisle did do a good job, but Alice was just a little quicker. I sighed and shook my head, for her sake. "No, my family is fairly good at keeping secrets if they don't want someone to know something. Even when I'm not trying to listen, I do, which is very annoying."

She seemed to relax with my lie. She smiled thoughtfully, looking up at me again. "Did you ever think my number was up when Tyler's van came towards me? That you interfered with fate?"

I chuckled without humor. "No I didn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Your number was up the first time I met you."

"I'm still not understanding."

I sighed realizing this. "I warned you I was dangerous, you just never seem to listen to that do you?" I laughed again without humor. "There is something different Bella. Not only can I not hear what you think, but your blood… it's so powerful. Every time you move your hair over your shoulder, walk past me, the wind gets knocked out of me!

"Do you remember the first day you met me? How hostile I was to you?" She nodded, wide-eyed. "I could have killed you that day, easily. I could have killed you the next day as well, but I didn't because of my family. I couldn't make them move again because of how weak I was. This is the first place where we could act as normal as possible. I couldn't take this away from them."

She took another sip of her drink, trying to control herself probably. When she finished hers I pushed mine towards her. She took another sip and then cleared her throat. "Why did you save me from the van?" she asked looking down at the table.

It took me a second to comprehend what she was asking. I wasn't ready for that question. "Well, if your blood would have spilled, there would have been no chance for me to be able to control myself, but I didn't come up with that till afterwards. When I saw the van going towards you, it was instinctive. All I could think was 'not her.'"

She looked up at me and smiled. Why is she smiling? I asked myself, but before I could ask her, the waitress came with Bella's food.

Bella took a small bite at first, but the quickly took another bite. I took the opportunity to ask my own question I need to hear from her.

"Bella, may I ask you a question?"

She nodded and swallowed, blood rushing to her cheek. How my hand itched to brush her cheek, to feel the warmth. I pulled my hands underneath the table.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?"