Goku sighed as the cold air hit him. He sort of regretted taking Kinto'un out. He felt cold enough as it was, he didn't need the extra wind if he could help it.
Still, feeling cold was a nice distraction from everything else.
From the feeling he couldn't really describe as anything besides heavy.
It felt heavy jumping onto Nimbus.
It felt heavy standing next to Chichi.
Like a pressure was pushing down on his shoulders and in his stomach, he felt heavy.
He missed the warmth. He always told himself and everyone else that he didn't care for it, that it was just a distraction from his other activities, but now he supposed there was truth to the statement "you don't know what you have until it's gone."
He sighed.
The whispers came back after he left and now he listened to every one. He couldn't help but feel a truth to them. Starting with "abandons his family."
Is that what he did? Is that what happened? Did he abandon them? Goku thought they were fine when he left but he already got an earful from Chichi after he came back.
Ah. Right. Chichi said that, too, didn't she? That she couldn't believe he would just 'abandon' them like that. At the time he thought it was the right thing to do, that he wasn't worth being around with all the trouble he caused but now he just felt like it was all one big mistake.
A selfish decision, huh? That's what the whispers said. Maybe they were right. Maybe he did only do it to get away from them. Did he love them? He was so sure that what he felt was love but after all the whispers started telling him otherwise, he wasn't sure. Was he capable of this feeling called "love"? What he felt for Chichi, Gohan and Goten was different from what he felt for Krillin but he couldn't really explain how it was different. He always just sort of knew that it was.
What if it wasn't?
What if he just saw everyone as friends? That didn't seem like the truth but it didn't feel like a lie, either.
If only chichi could explain love to him better. He could compare what he felt for her to it and see if it really was love.
Then again, the whispers said she didn't love him.