Disclaimer: I own nothing. If I did Stephen Fry would have guest starred by now.
A/N: Okay not really my best work, just this random idea I came up with. Anyway enjoy!
Dear Clinic Patient
"Doctor House will be right with you." The nurse said to the sickly patient.
He nodded and walked toward the bed where he found a piece of paper addressed to him. Or at least he assumed it was for him, due to it was addressed to Clinic Patient.
Dear Clinic Patient,
You are probably baffled by this letter and are probably wondering why I am not here to examine you. Well to be frank, I don't have the time, nor do I care all that much. Right now I'm saving a patients life and I can't be bothered to treat your miniscule illness. So here I will treat your symptoms via this letter. If you wish to be treated immediately continue to read the first bullet and follow instructions from there. If not may I suggest seeking Doctor Cuddy or Doctor Wilson? I can honestly say they would be delighted to help a patient such as yourself.
The Clinic patient scratched the back of his head and debated whether or not he should continue reading.
-Do you have the following symptoms: red rashes, dry mouth, watery eyes, constant sneezing?
The patient shook his head as read through the list.
If none of these symptoms apply to you, skip this section and continue to the next bullet.
So the patient did so.
-Do you have the following symptoms: fatigue, stuffy nose, sore throat, a headache perhaps?
The patient nodded his head to each symptom.
If none of these symptoms apply to you, skip this section and continue to the next bullet. If so, seek treatment B on the back page.
The patient turned the page over and read the treatment.
Treatment B: Congratulations moron! You have a cold. And your prize is that there's nothing you can do! Instead of coming here and wasting my time writing this letter you should have stayed at home where you belong! Advice for next time: Go to WebMD dot com. It's moron friendly for people such as---
But the patient didn't read the rest of the letter. Instead he crumpled it up and threw it away, leaving disgruntled.
Well I'm not overly happy with the way this came out. I promise the next will be better. Anyway I wrote a crossover clinic case between this and Doctor Who and I'm debating whether to post it or not. I know a lot of Americans don't watch so I just want to know whether I should post it or make it a sepearte one shot? Feedback would be appreciated.