Disclaimer: The crew of BtVS belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy Productions, as do various references to particular quotes. Likewise, Batman is owned by DC Comics, and ultimately Warner Bros. This work is intended for non-commercial purposes only, and is otherwise covered by a Creative Commons Attribution license. Specials thanks go to Kierkegaard and Christopher M. Drohan.
Thanks also go to my fabulous beta, MoragMacPherson.
Summary: YAHF. Alfred would be proud
Chapter Three: Knight and Squire
Part Three
He could hear their voices echoing down the school corridor as he closed the door. Xander paused, then shamelessly stopped to eavesdrop.
"—He said he was in the middle of something 'extremely important'." Buffy sounded worried.
"And what did Giles say about Xander's," here Xander had to strain to hear Willow's voice, "new super fighty skills?"
"He just brushed me off. 'Very funny, Buffy. For the last time, goodbye,' he said, and then shut the door in my face. He looked bad, Will. I think he had been—"
"Hello, Xander," said Ms. Calendar.
"Ack!" Xander replied, and stumbled around. "Don't do that!" He clutched his hand to his chest, and melodramatically said, "My heart can't take the strain." Ms. Calendar smiled, while Cordelia just looked annoyed. Together they were…wow. Xander made a conscious effort to keep his eyes on their faces rather than fully appreciate the figures of feminine beauty before him.
"You're too young to have a heart attack, dorkhead," said Cordelia. "Anyway, I heard that you can fight like Batman now. If you start running around graveyards like a complete fashion disaster in brightly-colored spandex, I will never speak to you again."
"Good!" said Xander, mentally darkening the colors of his imaginary costume. "Then I wouldn't have to listen to you embarrass yourself by opening your mouth."
"Why do I lower myself by spending even one more minute in your company? Oh, that's right, forced proximity. I can feel my social status slipping already. Your loserdom is contagious," replied Cordelia. She sounded like she was enjoying herself.
"Children, children," Ms. Calendar cut in. "You can save the foreplay for after computer class."
Xander's brain ground to a halt.
"Can I just say 'ew'?" said Cordelia.
Xander was still incapable of speech. Cordelia and Ms. Calendar looked at him, and then at each other.
"Men."
By the time they got halfway to computer class, Buffy and Willow had joined them. Willow had that cringing puppy look she got when she felt guilty; Buffy sported an almost seamless fake smile.
"Why Willow, Buffy," Xander said with fake astonishment. "You're here early! Where's the apocalypse? Buffy, I expect this kind of treason from Willow, but you, you, I thought we had our little secret covenant to disdain all things school."
She arched an eyebrow at him. "Like you're one to talk, Mr. Suddenly Studious. I dunno, Willow: do you think he's been replaced by a pod person? This is Xander we're talking about, after all."
"Hey!" said Xander. "Standing right here, y'know."
"Don't be mean, Buffy; he's trying really hard to do better in school. Aren't you, Xander? I approve," said Willow firmly. At least he had Willow on his side. Or was that school's side? When it came to defending school, Willow was definitely Old Reliable.
"Don't we have computer class or something?" Cordelia asked in bored tones. She was giving her nails the kind of attention usually reserved for painting masterpieces with a two-haired brush. "Let's just get it over with."
Ms. Calendar had barely finished unlocking the door, however, when Willow abruptly stopped, blocking the entrance. "Oh! Buffy, don't forget the Giles thing."
"Oh," said Buffy quietly. "Ms. Calendar, can I talk to you for a minute? Giles didn't show at the hospital last night, and when I went over to his place, he was acting very, well, very anti-Giles. I think he was drinking," she said, sounding horrified.
"And, and not in an English way!" said Willow. They all looked at her. She shrank a little. "I mean, he wasn't drinking tea."
Xander wondered what Bruce thought about all this, and then resolutely let it go. He wouldn't be the first one to blink, not now. He listened as Ms. Calendar spoke, and then Buffy, and finally Cordelia. Of course Cordy wouldn't think a little thing like the police questioning Giles about a homicide was important; it wasn't about her, was it? He said as much, and then quickly went on before Cordelia could reply. "Something's definitely wiggy here, Buffy. What are we gonna do?"
Buffy had already started for the door. "I'm going to call him right now," she said over her shoulder as she strode determinedly out of the room.
"Does this mean we don't have computer class anymore?" Cordelia asked. "What," she said in response to their looks. "Buffy is taking care of it. And I have to do an emergency repair on this chipped nail."
Class only lasted fifteen minutes before Willow raised her hand.
"Yes, Willow?" said Ms. Calendar. Her voice remained calm and teacherly, but her face had been getting increasingly tight. She seemed glad for the interruption.
"Buffy still hasn't come back. I, I think we should go look for her," Willow said, gaining a sudden rush of confidence as she went. Head raised high, she looked challengingly around the room.
"I second the motion," said Xander hastily. Without Bruce there, he had been getting increasingly lost in all this computer stuff.
"Whatever," said Cordelia. "I'll come too."
They hurried to the library. As he went through the doors, Xander suddenly came face-to-face with a tall, thin-faced older man wearing a blue shirt. He looked familiar. The man instantly halted his headlong rush; Xander thought he saw a flash of fear cross his face.
"Don't let him get away," Buffy called; she appeared to be busy facing off with a zombie in a suit.
"You," said the man.
"Him," growled Bruce dangerously. "Ethan Rayne, the mage who summoned me into your body on Halloween. What a distinct non-pleasure to see you again. Be careful, Xander; this is a very dangerous man."
Ethan abruptly relaxed, and laughed. Xander eyed him warily. "The boy who dressed as Batman. Oh, you've caught me. Now what are you going to do with me?"
"Ask you nicely to go sit at that table over there." said Xander. "And don't call me 'boy'."
Ethan's gaze felt like a physical weight. "And if I won't go?"
"We'll ask you not so nicely," said Buffy as she came over to stand next to Xander, zombie thing now securely locked in the library cage. He could feel the supportive presence of Willow and Cordelia at his back. They were waiting, all his friends were waiting on his word: they trusted him to take the lead. Xander fought back a flush of pleasure and drew on their strength to challenge and hold Ethan's eyes. He felt perfectly calm, open and ready for whatever might come.
Ethan broke their staring contest with exaggerated care, then flashed him a sardonic look and sauntered over to the table. Xander hated him already.
The Scoobies arranged themselves around the library table, speculating about the dead man who had attacked Buffy. His skin was greenish and pocketed, but he otherwise looked pretty healthy for a member of the living dead club. Creepy creature straight out of a horror film and evil Halloween mage? Xander was pretty sure this wasn't a coincidence.
Suddenly Giles flung open the library doors. Buffy was right; he did look bad. He had a five o'clock shadow; sallow, dirty skin; and the same clothes on that he had been wearing yesterday. It transformed Giles into a stranger. That impression grew stronger when Giles saw Ethan Rayne: Giles' voice flattened with a quiet, un-Giles-like intensity. Somehow Xander wasn't surprised to hear Ethan call Giles 'Ripper', or to see Giles' violent response. He was right; Giles did have a dark side. Everyone on the Hellmouth did, except maybe Willow. But the proof still made the world shift unsettlingly beneath him.
A loud crash broke Xander's focus – the zombie man was charging out of the cage. Xander pushed Cordelia out of the way, turning to fight. Buffy got there first, planting a spinning side kick into what's-his-name's chest.
"Xander," said Bruce with quiet intensity. "The mage is getting away."
Indeed, Ethan was slowly backing out of the room; Xander lunged towards him. He only got in a few steps, however, before he heard the man whisper something about Janus and twist his fingers. Invisible hands grabbed Xander's ankles, and give a vicious tug. His arms locked to his side. The ground rushed towards Xander's face.
When he came to himself again, Xander felt disoriented. His head hurt, and he wasn't in his bed. The static in his vision cleared away to reveal Willow's anxious face. "Xander, Xander! Are you okay? You're awake. That's good. Are you broken? Does anything hurt?"
What was the last thing he remembered? Huh. It felt like the fight with Ethan Rayne had happened yesterday. Wait, the zombie man! "Willow, what happened to the dead guy?"
"Ew." She wrinkled her nose. "He melted. It was gross."
"Is that normal behavior for demons?" Bruce asked.
'I dunno,' Xander thought back. 'There weren't any melting zombies in 'Night of the Living Dead'. But I think zombie men count as undead, not undemon.'
"Will it be back?"
'Now there's a creepy thought. He wasn't exactly the social type,' Xander replied. He began to haul himself up into a seated position.
"Xander?" said Willow anxiously. "Maybe you should just stay there for a moment."
"I'm okay, Will. Really," Xander said. He pulled himself gingerly to his feet, only wobbling slightly, and looked around. He ignored Buffy and Cordelia hovering anxiously a few feet away in favor of the Giles show. He observed with interest that Buffy's Watcher was practically cradling Ms. Calendar to his chest at the library table. As if sensing his gaze, Giles looked over.
"Do be careful, Xander. Head injuries are nothing to fool around with. I'm taking Jenny home; your friends should do the same."
"But Giles—" said Buffy.
"Leave it, Buffy," Giles snapped. Buffy subsided, looking hurt. The moment Giles and Ms. Calendar were out the door, however, she turned around and issued marching orders. Willow to the books, Xander to Giles' files: find the 'Mark of Eyghon.'
Xander felt a guilty thrill as he crept into Giles' office. There were file cabinets everywhere. He'd always amused himself by imagining strange Giles things they might contain: librarian actions figures, perhaps, or never-ending pots of tea. The cabinets were locked, but he found the key in the same hiding place as the one Giles used for the library cage. He pulled the nearest one open, and glanced inside. Just card catalogues.
"Look again, Xander," said Bruce.
Xander flipped through the cards, stopped, and went back. Each card had a neatly handwritten label. Labels like 'Demon, Bohg'dar' and 'Demon, Bortez', 'Demon, Chorago' and 'Compendium, Suleman's'. There were page numbers referring to demonology books in a subset of the Dewey Decimal System that Xander had never seen before. And there were little notes on the side, like 'New copy ordered 18/8/97' or 'Native to Asia, thank god'.
"We need to start one of these," said Bruce. "Immediately."
'Jealous much?' Xander teased. In the comics, Batman kept files on everyone, friends and villains alike. He wondered suddenly if Bruce had a mental file on his friends. It would be just like him, wouldn't it.
By the time Cordelia joined him, Xander had gotten thoroughly distracted. There were cards cross-referenced by description with little illustrations. One horn vs. two horns; fire breathing vs. vulnerability to fire. Humanoid, bestial, unknown. Bruce had been right; there were ways to categorize unfamiliar demons and predict ways to deal with them. Did Giles have all this memorized?
"Huh. Xander Harris, closet bookworm. I never would have guessed. You always seemed pretty stupid to me."
"Look who's talking," said Xander automatically. "Look at these – Giles has his own private card system for all his Watcher stuff! This is so cool."
"Color me unsurprised," said Cordelia. "He is a librarian, after all. Anyway, I'm not going to waste my valuable time looking at random pretty pictures with you. What about the Mark of Eyghon?"
"Let's see: 'Eyghon, Mark of', I think." For once he actually knew what he was doing with research. And he sounded like it too. He glanced at Cordelia; what did she think?
Willow's voice drifted out of the main room. "I've got it! It's not Egyptian, it's Etruscan mistaken for Egyptian by its design pattern, but any fool can see it predates their iconography."
"'Any fool'," repeated Xander, dully. "Of course."
The Scoobies crowded around Willow as she read the Eyghon passage from the book aloud. Eyghon, aka the 'Sleepwalker' demon, could possess the unconscious as well as the dead; Ms. Calendar had been the nearest unconscious person when the dead guy disintegrated – ergo, she must have been possessed. They had to get the demon out of her soon and kill it. If they didn't, it would kill Ms. Calendar and Be Reborn Into The World. (Willow always did have a nice turn of phrase for such occasions.)
Just another day on the Hellmouth, Xander thought, except for the weirdness with Giles. No one could reach him by phone. He had left with the demonically possessed Ms. Calendar; he might still be in danger. Buffy ran out to find Giles in person immediately. It was up to the rest of them to figure out how to kill Eyghon without killing Ms. Calendar too. The replacement computer teacher would probably be wrinkled and ugly, not to mention evil.
'What do you think, Bruce? What should we do?' Xander thought.
"I'd like to see how you handle this one on your own," replied Bruce. Wonderful, thought Xander irritably, just what he needed: another test.
He wondered if Ms. Calendar was conscious now. Could she feel the demon walking her body around, speaking with her mouth, aping her relationship with Giles? Was she feeling helpless and trapped, watching and unable to do anything to stop it? If Eyghon was anything like the hyena, he knew she'd be screaming inside. There had to be something he could do to help; there just had to be.
It could have been him; he had been unconscious in the library too. There could have been yet another episode of 'Let's Possess Xander' on Comedy Central at nine. But wasn't Bruce already there? How would that work?
"Willow," said Xander slowly. "Can someone be possessed by two beings at once? Would they have a smack-down or something?"
"Oh," said Willow. "Oh. Oh, I've got it. I've got it! Xander, you're a genius." She gave him a hit-and-run hug and ran out the door.
"I am?" said Xander.
"I'm confused," said Cordelia. "What's the plan?"
Xander shrugged, and smiled ruefully. "The same thing we do every time, Pinky — follow Willow's lead." Cordelia smiled too, then caught herself and gave him a look. Score.
And as they left the library, Bruce said quietly, "Very nicely done, Xander."
Willow's plan consisted of sending Angel after the Eyghon-possessed Ms. Calendar. Angel was a technically dead body already possessed by a demon; when he strangled Ms. Calendar, Eyghon jumped straight into him. Demonic catfight ensued, Eyghon was vanquished, damsel saved. Ethan Rayne got away, but Xander had no interest in a second potential concussion; he suspected there would be another time.
He tried to catch Buffy afterward, but she left with Angel. He thought he understood what she was going through with Giles; he knew what it was like to be shut out by one's mentor. Had his running argument with Bruce only started this morning? It felt like they had been fighting for half of forever, and he resented that. Okay, maybe he had pushed a little too hard, but Bruce had completely overreacted. It wasn't Xander's fault. Anyway, Bruce would come around eventually and so would Giles. They had to.
It was night now; too late to walk home by himself. He soon found himself thanking Cordelia for giving Willow and him a lift in her car, then turning to face his front door. Xander hunched his shoulders and pushed it open. Light and noise spilled from the square TV screen into the dark living room. Empty beer cans glinted, and the big easy chair shone softly. The man's silhouette was just barely visible.
Xander closed the door as softly as he could, and started up the stairs. He was chased by a sudden loud belch from below, and the gentle creaking of a body shifting in a chair. All the excitement of the day drained away, leaving Xander feeling tired and vaguely sick; no matter how hard he tried, he always came back to this.