Hey everyone! I'm sorry for not uploading this sooner, but I was visiting relatives last week and I didn't trust my grandma's WiFi enough to post anything xD That would also explain why I wasn't able to reply to the reviews on the previous chapter; thank you so, so much to everyone who reviewed, favourited and followed, though! But anyways, here is chapter six, a week late. As always, a massive thank you to Pasta and Sin for beta-reading.

Hope you enjoy!

Chapter Six

Emil isn't stupid. Over the following weeks, it quickly becomes obvious that there is something wrong between Lukas and Matthias, and he's determined to find out what it is.

Lukas has been behaving strangely ever since their date. Emil was kept in hospital for two more days after his seizure, and Matthias had only visited once, on the very first evening. Those first few hours are unclear in his memory, but he can remember the two of them standing by his bedside, holding hands and looking frightened and relieved and in love, and he can remember the warm feeling of safety that had washed over him. He can remember Lukas leaving, then coming back, a stone-cold cup of coffee clenched in his hand. His eyes were rimmed with red.

During the next two days, Lukas sat in a chair by his bedside and stared at the wall. This may have been usual for some people, but Lukas is used to staying with Emil in hospital; once, he had completed a high school exam paper in the sterile white cubicle whilst Emil had been battling a viral infection. He never just… sits there.

"You can call Matthias if you want," Emil says on the second day, when he can't bear it any longer. "He probably misses you."

Lukas just shakes his head and gives a sort of half-shrug gesture. "Probably."

He doesn't call.

When they return home a day later with a prescription for new medication and an assurance that the seizure was only caused by lack of sleep and a fever, nothing changes. Lukas carries out his daily routine robotically, cares for Emil with a soulless efficiency that is more than a little unnerving, and makes them nutritious meals that are bland but edible. He doesn't do anything wrong, exactly. Emil doesn't feel neglected. He's just… not Lukas.

Matthias still comes round on weekdays to care for him, but he and Lukas don't linger to talk anymore. They brush past each other in the doorway, never speaking more than a sentence to one another; "there's leftovers in the fridge" or "he needs an extra dose of Aspirin tonight" – all, incidentally, things that Emil could tell them himself.

Matthias also seems distant. He's better at pretending than Lukas; he still smiles and laughs and plays video games with him, but it seems like he's not really there. He and Lukas never mention each other anymore.

"Maybe they've been abducted by aliens," Leon suggests blandly in one of their now nightly Skype calls. Emil huffs, not in the mood for his jokes.

"Maybe. I just… kinda miss them. It was bad when they were pining, but it's even worse now that they're not speaking. It's like, they were so close to getting their happy ending, and then it all got ruined before it had even begun."

Leon picks up the subtle undertone, even before he notices it himself. "It wasn't your fault."

Emil sighs. "I know that," he says, because technically, he does. Even though he had known he would have a seizure that day - he had felt it coming the way people say they can sense storms, through odd subconscious sensations and changes in the air, but didn't say anything, hoping it would hold off until after their date, because he didn't always need to come first – it wasn't his fault. "But I just don't understand what happened! When they arrived, they were holding hands and it was the best – the best – thing to wake up to, and now suddenly it's not there anymore, and I can't work out what's changed."

"Why don't you just ask them?"

"I can't. There'd be no point. The problem is that there's no communication between them. They're both so fucking repressed."

Leon snorts. "Says you."

"You're one to talk!" It would be so easy to fall back into their usual laidback banter, but Emil has a problem to solve. "But anyway, this is serious. What do you think I should do?"

"I've already said what I think: ask them. You just said they suck at communication, but that doesn't mean you have to. Why don't you set them an example of how we talk things out like grown-ups?"

Emil laughs a little at that. Talking with Leon always makes him feel better. "Alright, I'll try it. But I really don't think it's going to work."

And the first time he tries it, it doesn't.

It's early evening on a Saturday, and he and Lukas are having dinner. It's some kind of casserole with anything thrown in, which Lukas only makes when he's too sick or tired or fed up to cook. They've been living off casserole all week now.

Lukas is reaching over to feed him when Emil's hand unexpectedly spasms, jerking sideways and knocking his glass of water to the floor. The water spills all over both of them and the floor is littered with sparkling crystals of shattered glass. This isn't a rare occurrence in their household, so Emil is astounded when Lukas snaps:

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Emil!"

Emil stares at him for a long moment, stunned. "I didn't do it on purpose." Lukas has never shouted at him for something he can't help, ever.

A strained second passes, then Lukas seems to deflate, crumple in on himself like a balloon with the air sucked out. For a second, Emil thinks he might cry. "I know. I'm sorry, Emil, this isn't your fault. It wasn't fair to take it out on you. I'm sorry."

Then he steps forward and pulls Emil's head to his chest, and that proves that something is terribly wrong, because he and Lukas don't hug. Ever. They just don't.

He tugs his head away. "Okay, I've had enough of this. What is going on with you?"

Lukas ignores him, turning away to pick up a dishcloth and dab at Emil's shirt. "Nothing," he says evasively.

"Nope, sorry, try again."

"Emil, I mean it. It's nothing concerning you. This is between me and Matthias. Just drop it, okay?"

"But – "

"Emil." He knows that tone. "I'm going to get you a clean shirt."

Then he walks out, leaving Emil at the table, frustrated and disappointed and uncomfortably damp. Emil watches him leave.

"Well, fuck."

-…-…-

His second attempt is more successful.

It's Wednesday afternoon and Lukas is at work. Emil is sitting on the side of the bed, his hair damp from the shower, and Matthias is kneeling in front of him, buttoning him into a fresh shirt. Perhaps it's because of the awkward silence, or perhaps it's because he's taller than Matthias for once and it makes him feel kinda brave, he blurts:

"Right, so what is actually going on between you and Lukas?"

Matthias freezes for a second, then relaxes into a slightly tight version of his usual easy grin. "Don't worry about that, kid. That's for me and your brother to sort out."

"Yeah, but you're not sorting it out, are you? You're just avoiding each other and wallowing in your own self-pity, and that isn't fixing anything. I thought you two loved each other."

Matthias ducks his head. He looks like a little child getting scolded. "Yeah. Well. We do. It's complicated, pal. You'll understand when you're older."

"Don't patronise me."

"Sorry, didn't mean to." He looks up with a rueful smile. "You're a smart kid, Emil. We only want the best for you, you know."

Something about that catches in Emil's mind. "Wait –" He says, his mouth slowly catching up with his thoughts. "You mean, this is about me?"

"I never said that." He lowers his head again, focuses on Emil's buttons. One of them is in the wrong hole and it's shifted them all off-kilter.

"You implied it."

"Kid, please." He seems pained. "It doesn't matter."

"No, it does," he insists. He feels desperate, indignant, because now that he thinks that he might be responsible for this, he can't let it go. "If this has to do with me, then I have every right to know. I might be able to do fuck all for myself, but I'm not a toddler. I'm old enough to know this stuff."

"Jeez." He rubs his hands over his face, messing up his wild hair. Emil has never seen bright, easy-going Matthias look so stressed. "It is about you, but not in a bad way. Just, you're important to us. For both of us, keeping you safe is our first priority. It has to come above everything, even… even our relationship."

Emil splutters. The air in the room feels too thin. "I'm sorry, what? Are you saying that you think it's better for me for you two to be miserable and distracted? And you didn't think to even ask me how I felt about it?"

"Sorry, we – "

"You don't get to do that. You do not get to do that. Neither of you get to keep things from me and make decisions for me because you think it's what I want. For fuck's sake, I'm just as human as you! I have opinions too, you know. You don't get to disregard me like that."

"Look, Emil, we were frightened. You were in hospital and we were scared and we acted rashly, and we regret it. But there's nothing we can do now."

Emil stares at him. "Yes, there is. Tonight, when Lukas gets home, we all sit down at the table and we talk about this. Like mature adults."

Matthias cracks a weak grin. It's like the sun appearing from behind the clouds. "I'm not sure about 'mature'."

He just looks at him sternly. "Well, tonight you'd better be. I'm hosting an intervention."

"Yes, sir!"

"And for god's sake, please fix those buttons. They're driving me insane."

-…-…-

When Lukas gets home that night, he and Matthias are sitting at the table, waiting.

"Hello?" The front door closes and his footsteps sound, muffled against the floorboards. "Emil?"

He already sounds worried, as if he might find him lying on the floor unconscious or something. Emil sighs. "In here!"

The footsteps come closer and Lukas opens the door to the dining room. He's still wearing his pale blue apron and has a smudge of flour on his cheek. "Hello – oh."

Matthias looks up at him hesitantly. His expression appears composed, but Emil can see his leg bouncing beneath the table. "Lukas."

"Matthias." He's looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to leave. That's what usually happens. The moment they hear the door open, Matthias is putting on his shoes and jacket and calling a quick goodbye over his shoulder. That's not what happens today.

"Sit down," Emil tells him. "This is an intervention."

"A – what? Emil, please, I don't have time for this, I've only just got home. What do you want?"

"I want you and Matthias to sit down together and talk this out like responsible adults," he says evenly. "It's about time."

"Emil, I…" He's speechless, looking between Emil and Matthias in pained confusion. Matthias grimaces.

"It was the kid's idea. Let's just humour him, yeah?"

"I… alright." Reluctantly, Lukas drops into the seat opposite Matthias. "Can we make this quick?"

"It will take as long as it needs to," Emil says firmly. He's quite enjoying this. He doesn't often get the chance to be the one in control. "Matt said the reason you broke up has something to do with me."

"He did?" Emil doesn't miss the betrayed glare Lukas shoots across the table. Evidently, they'd decided to keep this a secret from him. "That's not true. It isn't your fault, Emil."

"I know that," he says. "I never said it was my fault. I just said that you broke up over me. Is that true?"

"I…" Lukas breaks off and closes his eyes, rubs at his temples. "Yes."

The blunt confession snatches his breath for a second. "Why?"

The question lingers in the air above them, kept afloat by the stagnant silence. No one seems to be breathing. Matthias clears his throat – a tiny, tense noise – but Lukas interrupts. "No, I… I think I need to answer this. You deserve a proper explanation too, Matt."

"I already know, and I get it." Matthias puts a hand on Lukas' wrist instinctively and he starts, but doesn't pull away. "You don't need to explain anything to me."

"For Emil, then." Matthias nods.

Lukas takes a deep breath and pauses, seeming to gather his thoughts. Emil waits. Then suddenly, his whole tense posture seems to drop and crumple inwards on itself.

"I wasn't there, Emil. Every time when you were little, I'd be there with you when you were sick or hurt or sad or anything, but that day I wasn't. I was so happy that I forgot I needed to look after you and, I don't know, it was like your seizure was a punishment for me being so careless and fucking stupid. It reminded me that you matter more than anything else."

"Not more than your happiness, Luke," Emil says quietly. Lukas shakes his head impatiently and grasps for words.

"No, no, but… it wasn't fair to you. I remember one time, when we were younger and you were really sick and our parents were out, you had a seizure. When you woke up, you were crying and you said 'I'm scared, Lukas,' and I told you not to be scared, because – and this is exactly what I said – 'I'll always be there. I'll always be the first thing you see.' And…that day, when I was out with Matthias, I wasn't. You had to go to the hospital all alone. You would've had to see all the white walls and doctors and machines all on your own, and… I shouldn't have done that to you, Emil. I felt that I'd failed you as a big brother. And above everything, that's always been my job. Do you understand now?"

"What? Lukas, no." Emil can only stare, because this is the stupidest thing he has heard in his life. "You really don't get it, do you? You were the first thing I saw. Both of you. I don't remember anything about the ride to the hospital – that stuff doesn't matter anymore – but what I do remember is opening my eyes and seeing you and Matthias standing there, together, holding hands. And God, that was the best thing I could have woken up to. It's…" he breaks off and takes a deep breath, collecting himself. "You don't only have to worry about me, Lukas. There's more to your life – there should be more to your life – than just worrying over me. You need your own life too, and that's always going to be shared with me, but if Matthias is part of that life, then… honestly, I can't imagine anything better."

It's obvious that something he's said has resonated within them, because Matthias' eyes are slightly wet and Lukas is staring just past his shoulder with a stunned, glazed expression.

"You mean… it's okay with you if I'm with Matthias?" Lukas says eventually, and Emil wishes he could smash his head against a wall. Gently, of course.

"Yes, you idiot! That's what I'm trying to say. You two are better with one another."

"I have your blessing, then?" Matthias is joking, but his voice is hoarse and has an undertone of seriousness. His eyes are glistening.

"Yes you fucking do." He waits just long enough to let that sink in. "But I'm warning you, if you hurt him like this again, I will find a way to destroy you."

Matthias blinks, alarmed, then nods solemnly. "You have my word."

And then suddenly he feels Lukas' arms come around him, holding him close, and Matthias joins on the other side and they press against one another by the table in an awkward tangle of limbs and emotion, and then they're laughing and Matthias might be crying but Emil can't tell for sure because he can't tell where one of them ends and the next begins. Shakily, he lifts his hand from the control pad and lets it rest on someone's – Lukas', he thinks – back, and closes his eyes to let all the love soak into him and set him alight.

After a few moments, he tugs away. "Ew, okay, there is way too much emotion in this room right now, my masculinity is feeling threatened. I'm out."

He reverses backwards out of the embrace, turns, and disappears through the doorway. Behind him, he can hear Lukas and Matthias laughing softly, murmuring, and Matthias saying, "Come here, baby," and something that sounds like a kiss, but he doesn't look back. He doesn't need to. He knows that everything is going to be fine from now on.

Thank you for reading! Only one chapter left after this, folks ;-;

Quick question: I've been asked about making a sequel to this, focusing on the HongIce relationship, since it's been hinted at in the fic. Is that something any of you guys would be interested in? Let me know in the comments!

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