The Inconveniencing
"Uh-oh, looks like someone's in LOVE~!" Mabel grinned, poking at Dipper's arm as the triplets watched Wendy leave with her friends.
"I can see what's happening!" Bip butted in, suddenly singing.
"What?" Dipper said, his voice raising in the question.
"And he doesn't have a clue!" Mabel picked up on the song and swept in to stand side by side with Bip.
"STOP SINGING!" Dipper interrupted, pushing them apart. He explained hastily, flailing his hands about "I DON'T have a crush on Wendy!" His face was red as he shrugged, trying to dismiss the topic "I mean, it's not like I stay awake at night THINKING about her or anything!"
That Night….
"Oh no." Dipper said as he stared at the ceiling. A pillow was promptly thrown in his face.
"GO TO BED, MORON!"
(Insert Theme Song Here)
"Hey how about I- WE, go with you!" Dipper stammered awkwardly, dragging his two siblings into a situation that one of them didn't want to be in and the other was just mildly surprised by. After a short explanation of Dipper's lie of being thirteen and why they were going, Mabel gave an expression Dipper caught quickly.
"Hey Bip, can you go make sure they don't leave without us?" Dipper asked suddenly "I-er- I left something upstairs."
"Lemme guess, your journal?" Bip rolled his eyes.
Dipper chuckled "Yeah."
"And I need to brush my teeth." Mabel grinned. She waved "Meet you out there!"
Bip's eye brow rose skeptically and he gave a limp wave back before trudging out the screendoor. Dipper and Mabel watched until he was out of sight and then went into the living room. Mabel kept her voice low.
"Dipper, should we really go?" she asked. "I mean-"
"Don't worry, I'm sure Bip will be fine." Dipper reassured her "What's the chance of that happening again?" Mabel fidgeted a moment, chewing on a lock of her hair. Dipper frowned in return, unsure of his own answer upon seeing his sister so distressed. Suddenly, he lifted his head a bit "Do you still have that amulet?"
Mabel stared at him, dumfounded a moment, but then mutely nodded. "Why?"
"Bring it." Dipper said with a proud smirk "If he goes nuts again, we'll just knock him out."
"But Dipper-" Mabel started before the sound of a teenage boy hollered for them to hurry up.
"It'll be fine!" Dipper chirped, rushing to join up with the group. Mabel frowned after him and gave a frustrated kick to the T-Rex skull in the room. She picked up the throw pillow off of the recliner and gave a frustrated scream into it. After a moment, she dropped it back onto the chair and grudgingly got the amulet. She gripped it into her balled fist and muttered angrily under her breath. At the door, Mabel inhaled deeply and then practiced a grin. She swung open the door-
"OW!" came the sharp cry. Mabel jumped a little and looked behind the now-open door to see her brother rubbing at his nose.
"Oh! Bip, are you alright?" she yelped, running to him.
Bip shot her a glare "Yah, ah'm fahne." His voice was muddled up by his hands on his nose that Mabel couldn't help but giggle at. Bip blinked for a moment and then grinned widely. "Does mah voice sound thaaaattt wweeeeeeeiiirddddd?" he drew out his words and that just made Mabel giggle harder.
"Yeah, it does-" she chuckled. She took a breath to regain herself but couldn't help the giggles that littered her words "You sure you're okay?"
Bip removed his hands from his face and blew his nose into his sleeve. Mabel scrunched up her own face in disgust but it was quickly replaced with a smile.
"You got a handkerchief?" she asked.
Bip stuck out his bottom lip in a pout as he pulled several colored cloths out of his sleeve "It's no fun if you know what I'm doing- What?" he blinked.
Mabel giggled a bit. "Sorry, sorry. Your voice sounds really, really nasally right now."
"Oh man." He frowned. "Really?"
"Yeah." Mabel grinned. She gave him a light shove "Don't worry about it, Bippity. I'm sure no one will nose-tice."
Bip chuckled at that "Yeah whatever. You ready to go?"
"Yep! Were you waiting on me?" she blinked as she hopped down the steps.
"Only forever." Bip muttered, rolling his eyes and following her.
"Sorry." Mabel shrugged. "Decided to grab something really quick."
"I'm assuming that 'something' is what's in your hand right now?" Bip asked. Mabel stiffened a bit but quickly relaxed, hoping her brother didn't notice.
"Yep!" she chirped. Bip tilted his head.
"Are you going to tell me what it is?" he asked.
"Nope!" Mabel chirped. Bip's response was an annoyed glare.
"Well alrighty then." He muttered.
"Hey guys!" Dipper called, waving from where the group was huddled in front of a rather run-down van "Hurry up!"
"Coming Dipping Dots!" Bip and Mabel called at the same time. They exchanged a look and then both suppressed a giggle girlishly.
"Let's go and meet up with them." Bip chuckled. Mabel nodded eagerly, pocketing the amulet, and they half-skipped, half-raced to rejoin the group.
From how Bip was muttering under his breath, his arms crossed, and his eyes narrowed, Mabel had come to the conclusion that Bip did not particularly like Wendy and her friends.
They were in the van speeding off to some unknown destination, and the triplets had taken the seats in the back. Dipper was chewing on a pen nervously, no doubt put on edge at the thought of actually talking to Wendy. Mabel kicked her feet lightly, trying to calm herself down by humming lightly and listening to the banter of the teens
and Bip, on occasion.
"So then I told him" Robbie said, going off on a clearly made-up story "Hey, why don't YOU find somewhere else to sit. And then I totally beat him up."
"I bet you met Abraham Lincoln afterwards, eh Stitched-Heart?" Bip muttered.
"Stitched-Heart?" Robbie looked back and eyed him "What does that even mean?"
Bip motioned toward his hoodie "You got a stitched-heart on your hoodie. And I don't care enough to remember your name, so you're Stitched-Heart now."
"Oh, wow." Robbie muttered, rolling his eyes "Look who's got an attitude. Look at me, I don't care enough to remember someone's name- because I can't!" Robbie poorly mimicked Bip's voice "Because I'm dumb!"
"Wow." Bip huffed. He rolled his eyes and mimicked Robbie rather well "Hey look, my name is Robbie. I need to cover more than half my face with my bangs to be taken seriously." He laughed and settled back into his seat "Listen buddy, you are FORGETABLE. Hell, I care to remember THOMPSON more than I care to remember you."
"Yay!" Thompson seemed happy to hear this.
"Woah man, calm down." Wendy said, frowning.
"I'll think about it." Bip spat. Mabel put a hand on his shoulder, frowning slightly. Bip took the hint and leaned back into his seat, mumbling. Robbie seemed to take this as a victory.
"Yeah that's right, be scared-"
"Robbie, dude, you need to shut up." Dipper interrupted. The entire group turned to look at him, save for Thompson who had to settle for staring via mirror.
"I'm sorry Junior, what was that?" Robbie said with a slight scowl.
Dipper blushed but took a deep breath "You need to shut up. I don't like the way you're talking to my brother."
"Well-!" Robbie was interrupted by a light smack.
"Just drop it." Wendy said. She turned and gave Dipper a smile, zipping her fingers across her lips. Dipper blushed a bit and nervously returned the gesture.
"Way to stick up for your brother!" Lee grinned.
"Yeah, nice." Nate said.
"Thank Dipping Sauce." Bip shot Dipper a smile. Then he quickly pouted, muttering under his breath "Although I could've stuck up for myself."
Dipper laughed. "I'm sure you could." He then awkwardly shrugged into himself. Mabel reached over Bip and gave Dipper an affectionate punch.
"Nice." She smiled and then gave a wink "Of course you only speak up when it comes to us."
"Woah really?" Tambry commented, barely glancing up from her phone. She quickly went back to texting "That's adorable."
"A-adorable?" Dipper flushed.
"Super cute." Robbie snorted, smirking smugly over his shoulder. Dipper glared back at him as Bip shot the teen a glare, his pupils contracting for a moment. Mabel decided to get in between them.
"So anyway, where are we going?" She chirped.
"The old abandoned convenience store." Wendy said, eyeing Bip but speaking calmly. "Hey Robbie, knock it off."
Robbie opened his mouth to respond but settled for a mopey silence, crossing his arms and looking very similar to Bip a few moments before. Wendy gave a grin and looked over to Dipper.
"Hey man, I thinks it's cool you stick up for your siblings." She said.
"R-Really?" Dipper stammered, a grin stretching across his face.
"Yeah! I got three little brothers, so I get it." She chirped back.
"But I'm younger than Dipper by, like, ten minutes." Bip muttered.
"Oh so Dipper is your big brother!"
"But I'm taller than him."
That earned a laugh Bip didn't understand and Dipper turned bright red to, turning to Bip in (comical) rage.
Eventually, the group reached the convenience store and decided to enter it. Dipper was on the fence.
Er…literally. He was literally on the fence. He couldn't get down.
"Come on, Dipper!" Bip called up.
"You can do it!" Mabel beamed.
Dipper glowered down at his siblings "Easy for you two to say! You fall off of things this high all the time!"
Bip and Mabel exchanged sheepish looks. "Hey, to be fair." Bip defended himself "I only jumped off the roof once."
"And the highest I ever jumped down from was the top bunk." Mabel shrugged. Dipper muttered some protests under his breath. Lee, who had clambered on top of the fence, picked Dipper up and dropped him off. Bip and Mabel, had their reflexes been more fine-tuned, would have caught him.
…But they weren't. So. Dipper fell on the ground.
"Nice job throwing the kid off the fence." Nate praised, punching Lee in the arm. They proceeded to partake in friendly banter as the two siblings helped their other sibling up.
"You okay?" Bip asked.
"Yep." Dipper muttered. He spotted Wendy looking at them out of the corner of his eye and immediately straightened up, dusting his legs off. "That was easy." He said, putting his hands on his hips. Bip rolled his eyes while Mabel suppressed a giggle. "What?" Dipper asked. Bip and Mabel went on ahead. "Wait- Come on guys!"
Robbie tried to open the door and failed. While they were muttering about what to do next, Dipper decided to simply climb to the roof, punch down a (steel) grate and unlock the door from the inside. All the teens praised him, Mabel and Bip high fiving him as they went inside.
"Well. Now what do we do?" Dipper asked.
"Anything we want." Wendy smirked, leaning against the counter. On that, the group shot off in different directions.
"Come on, Bip!" Mabel squealed, grabbing her brother's arm and dragging him off.
"Byyeeee Diiippeerrr and…." He thought for a moment then dropped it "Byyeeeee…."
Wendy and Dipper watched them go.
"Hey, Dipper." Wendy said.
"Y-yeah-" Dipper's voice cracked. He cleared his throat and tried again, making his voice much deeper than it needed to be "Yeah?"
"I don't think your brother likes me that much." Wendy said, looking off after him. "Which is cool and all, I don't need everyone to like me. Just wondering if I did anything wrong."
Dipper sighed and shook his head "No. Bip just doesn't like anyone."
Wendy laughed "Oh, he's one of those types. All right, I get it." She jerked a thumb over her shoulder "Want to eat some of that ice cream and see if it's spoiled?"
Dipper grinned up at her "Yeah I do!"
Meanwhile, a few aisles away Bip and Mabel were messing with the assortment of squeaky dog toys. Mabel picked one up, squeezing it and softly squealing at delight at the noise.
"Hey Bip-" she turned to look at him and cut herself off. Bip was sitting on the floor, looking vacantly at his hands. "Something wrong?"
Bip shot up straight and frantically shook his head "Nah! I'm fine! Tired maybe. It's pretty late."
"You're always tired." Mabel rolled her eyes. Bip chuckled.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." He didn't say anything else. Mabel frowned and turned back to the assortment of squeaky toys. She squeezed a different one, but half-heartedly. Her thoughts wandered off to the events of the other day and she felt a heavy weight on her heart. Perhaps she should tell Stan? Or…at least Bip?
Taking a deep breathe of resolve she turned to confront her brother. And failed. She lost her nerve and tried again, taking in a long breathe. And again failed. Mabel repeated this process several more time until a loud crash echoed behind her, accented by the slightly comedic sigh of squeaky dog toys. She jumped and turned to find that Bip had fallen into the crate and was now trying to push himself out of it, gripping his head and mumbling something underneath his breathe.
"Bip!" Mabel yelped. She rushed over and put her arms around her brother's shoulders, pulling him up.
"Thanks Mabel…" Bip said quietly, his voice a whispy sigh. He chuckled. "I forgot to stand up."
She knew it was a lie but didn't say anything.
"Silly Billy." Mabel chuckled. Bip inhaled sharply making his sister jump "…Bip?"
He seemed to be staring into another world. "I…don't…" he looked up at her a moment, the pupils in his eyes contracting into lines but quickly dilated outwards again. He but his lip as if trying to find the words to say. Mabel smiled softly, swallowing down her own concern.
"Do you wanna go home?" she asked "We can go get Dipper-"
"No!" Bip snapped a bit too loudly. He blushed a little and lowered his voice "Dipper will get all embarrassed and these assholes will probably use it as an excuse to insult him."
Mabel decided not to point out her brother's use of profanity. "Bip, if you're not feeling well-"
"I'm FINE!" Bip hissed, pulling away from her. Evidentially, he was not fine as the moment he was without her support he fell onto his hands and knees. Mabel yelped, racing to support her brother and yelled over her shoulder:
"DIPPER!" she turned and went back to fretting over Bip, holding him up. His eyes were squeezed shut, and he squirmed lightly in his sister's hold. "Come on, Bippity…" Mabel whimpered. She took a steadying breathe. Slowly, she stroked his hair in a way she's seen their mother do so many times before. "It's alright, it's okay…"
"I'm fine, Mabel…" Bip said in a hushed voice, trying to get up. He failed, collapsing back down onto her lap. He cringed, turning into her arms and squeezing his eyes shut.
"Mabel, what is it?" Dipper called as he ran up to them, skidding to land on his knees and kneeling in front of Bip. "What happened?"
"I don't know!" Mabel said, not being able to keep her voice from cracking. "He just collapsed!"
"Bip?" Dipper blinked, shaking him lightly "Come on man, what's up?"
"I'm fine!" Bip snapped, trying to sit up to no avail. At this point, the three preteens have drawn the attentions of their older companions.
"What's going on?" Lee blinked.
"Woah dude, you okay?" Nate frowned. Thompson chewed on his nails, looking around at his friends frantically.
"I-is he alright?" he asked. Robbie responded with a light snort, flipping his bangs. Tambry's eyes widened slightly, her mouth distorted into a small frown.
"Little Dude okay?" she asked, casting a glance to Wendy. She shrugged, looking pretty confused.
"I don't know." She said. She knelt down on the other side of Bip "Dude?"
"I'M FINE!" Bip hissed, pulling away from Wendy and retreating into his sister's embrace. Mabel held him tighter. Dipper frowned.
"All right man, we're gonna head home." Dipper said, resolve leaking from his voice. He got to his feet and Mabel slowly rose too, supporting Bip. The youngest triplet's face was a vibrant red.
"I'm f-fine, really…." Bip frowned.
"Dude, it's okay." Dipper said "We'll get going-"
The door slammed shut.
"Young Trespassers… Welcome to your graves." A low voice boomed out. The group glared about.
"U-uh, Mister or Miss Ghost or Something" Mabel said, looking around for the assumed apparition "Our brother is really sick. Can we please just leave and get him home?"
"Yeah, c'mon!" Dipper said, trying not to growl even though his lips were twitching at the corners.
"You should have thought about that before breaking into our store, dearies." Murmured a higher voice.
"Look, we're sorry for coming in here without permission." Dipper said "But our brother is really sick and we need to get him home."
"Just like teenagers to barge in without thinking." The first voice spoke again.
"Dude, come on!" Dipper yelled, sweat slicking down the sides of his face. He motioned to the swaying Bip "Can't you see he's sick!?"
"Dipper-" Mabel muttered, hauling her half-unconscious brother along as she spoke to Dipper quietly "They seem to have a problem with teenagers, right? Just tell them we're not teens-"
Dipper hastily spoke again "We're not causing any problems! Please just let us go!"
"Dipper!" Mabel snapped. She hugged Bip to her protectively "Now's not the time!"
Dipper seemed to make a point of ignoring her "So just open the doors-"
Mabel quickly shoved Bip into Wendy's (confused) grip and then harshly pushed her conscious brother. She turned and yelled up at the ceiling "We're not teenagers, okay!? We're twelve and our brother's sick-" tears started pricking at her eyes "And we just want to take him home, okay!?"
The teens all stared at the small girl. Then at Dipper, then to where Bip slumped awkwardly against Wendy. Dipper's eyes were stuck on his sister, a frown creasing his lips. He gripped his wrist and turned away from Mabel, poking at the ground with his foot.
"Er… Well…." Said the low voice again. Above them, two figures materialized to reveal an elderly couple. The old man scratched at his head. "Well I guess if you're not teenagers, you could go."
The doors opened.
"Thank you!" Mabel chirped. She reached for Bip-
"But first, do you know any cute little dances?" said the ghost.
"What?" Wendy muttered.
"What kind of question is that!?" Lee snapped. Wrong thing to say. The ghost flared up, bigger and sparking red, nerves stringing the bulging shapes of his eyes. The doors once again slammed shut.
"HOW RUDE OF YOU!" he roared. Lee cringed, retreating back to his friends. Nate shot him a pointed glare.
"DUDE, WHAT THE HELL!?" Robbie snapped, giving the blond a sharp shove.
"LEE!" Tambry growled.
"S-sorry!" Lee stammered.
Wendy wrapped her arms tighter around Bip. Her eyes narrowed into a glare, accented by the shadow of her bangs. Dipper and Mabel immediately reached for each other, pulling the other one in close. For each of them, one hand flew back instantly as if to grab a third person. They pulled their arms back in to each other.
"PREPARE TO STAY HERE FOR ALL ETERNITY-"
"Wait!" Dipper yelled, ripping himself away from Mabel. The ghosts glowered down on him. He blushed madly, but cleared his throat and said in a cracking voice "I do know the….lamby lamby dance…." He avoided looking at the group behind him.
This seemed to calm the ghosts down.
"Go on." Said the old woman.
Dipper took a deep breathe. He sighed, looked back at the group he came in with. Bip captured his stare for a moment and he sighed and turned back.
"I…." suddenly his face brightened "I can't do it without a lamb costume, so-"
The ghost snapped and he was suddenly adorned in an adorable footie lamb costume. Dipper's face turned red, only to burn redder at the giggles that sounded behind him. He cleared his throat again. Took another breathe,
And burst out into an adorable song.
At the end, the ghosts applauded.
"That was some fine girly dancing, boy." Said the old man. "Your friends are free to go." The doors opened again. Dipper quickly thanked them, not questioning the spontaneous costume change back to his regular clothes. He turned on heel, grabbed Mabel's arm and dragged her out of the building, hiding his red face with the brim of his hat. Wendy followed close, carrying the sleeping Pines member. The rest of the group huddled together and followed Wendy, murmuring amongst themselves.
It was a short but tiring walk back to the van. Wendy set Bip down in the back seat, leaning against the window and Mabel quickly crawled in besides him. Dipper fidgeted, not looking at anyone. A hand on his should made him look.
"Hey man." Wendy smiled at him "That was pretty cool of you to do that for your brother."
Dipper smiled lightly, although still thoroughly embarrassed "T-thanks Wendy."
Mabel pulled Bip to her and clung onto him like the fate of the world depended on it. Dipper frowned, looking at them as Wendy moved away, settling down in the front seat.
"Hey…" Dipper muttered, rubbing his arm "I'm sorry about all that…."
"It's okay." Mabel smiled at him "You did just completely embarrass yourself to get us out of there. It's okay." She repeated. Her eyes turned back to Bip "…Maybe we should let Bip rest a while, huh?" Dipper nodded.
"Dontcha mean rest.. a 'bip'….?" Came a soft, dry chuckle "…Sorry… Nice dancing though, Dip Dops…."
Dipper snorted "Shut up."
"…kay…" Bip yawned, falling deeply asleep. Dipper caught the yawn, copied it, and also leaned against Mabel. The girl smiled, drew both her brothers in close, and nestled back into the seat.
A/N
…So I lied about the update-twice-a-month thing. Sorry. This chapter is really long though so hopefully that makes up for it? Please leave a review, if you want!
Post- Credit (A/N) scene:
Dipper and Mabel thanked Thompson for driving them home and waved them a goodbye. Wendy gave Dipper a wink before they left. Then the two triplets dragged their sleeping brother up to the house when a TV crashed through the window.
Stan peeked out "Uh… couldn't find the remote-" his eyes caught on Bip and he snorted "How many times you two gonna drag your knocked-out brother home this summer?"
Mabel laughed "Hopefully this'll be the last time." Dipper chuckled along and Stan allowed himself a few laughs. When they quieted down, a sleepy voice muttered:
"Wouldn't count on it."
His siblings and Uncle gave him an incredibly perturbed look.