Time passed, and Hidan's injuries eventually faded away to the point where they only existed in Kakuzu's memories. The banker had kept his word and not brought up the wounds again, nor inquired as to where Hidan had vanished during the week he'd been missing. Besides, he had bigger problems to worry about right now. July was fast coming to a close, and that meant one thing; Hidan needed to start school.

Kakuzu couldn't explain why he wanted to make sure the kid went to school. If he had to guess, it was because he cared about Hidan's well-being and knew that in this day and age, a kid couldn't get too far without a shiny piece of paper saying he was smart. The brat was a loudmouth and a complete ass at times, but to condemn him to a life of waiting tables or an equally menial career was definitely not something that he deserved, particularly since it was painfully obvious Hidan could be extremely intelligent when it came to books. And so, the banker took it upon himself to see that Hidan would be enrolled in the nearest high school come mid-August.

Kakuzu first mentioned this one morning during breakfast, hoping that Hidan still being half-asleep would work to his advantage of breaching the topic without enraging the boy. Something told him that Hidan probably didn't respond well to either social issues with his peers or authority from teachers, so getting him to agree to attending school was going to be a tough sell. "Hidan, do you know what next month is?"

"August, dumbass," Hidan grumbled into his mug of coffee.

"Right. And how old are you?"

"Sixteen, dumbass."

"Thought so. And aside from the fact that you have all the common sense of a retarded duck, you're fairly intelligent."

Hidan glanced suspiciously over his mug, clearly not following where his landlord was going with this train of thought. "What the hell are you getting at?"

"Hidan, you need to start school."

The Jashinist's reaction was to spit out his coffee in shock and double over at the table, choking. "Are you out of your fucking mind?!" he screamed.

"Hidan, just because you're old enough to drop out now doesn't mean you should."

"Fuck that!"

Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his temples in agitation. Well there went his hopes of working this out without Hidan getting riled up and screaming loud enough to wake the dead (and their neighbors, but that was another problem for another time). "I realize that the idea of having to sit quietly at a desk for seven hours a day isn't the most appealing offer for you-"

"No shit!"

"-But you can't get anywhere in life without a high school degree, at the very least. Even McDoodle Burgers want a GED once you hit 18." Hidan let out a huff at this argument but didn't give any other form of response. Kakuzu took that as a good thing and decided to push a little harder. "Hidan, you're smart enough that you could breeze through the rest of your schooling without even trying. If you did apply yourself, you might be able to get into college. Provided you could hold off on the swearing and violence and religious fanaticism until then."

"It's not that simple," Hidan grumbled, eyes now fixed to his plate instead of the miser.

Kakuzu decided to take the bait; it looked like Hidan was starting to cave. If the kid had gone from obnoxious screeching to abashed mumbling, then the banker was making good headway. Whatever was standing in his way needed to be taken care of. "Why not?"

"I dropped out halfway through last year," Hidan shamefully admitted. "Right around the time I became homeless. Just couldn't fucking take it. If I want back in, I'll have to go to the Jashin-damned principal and do a lot of ass kissing. Problem is, even if I do all that shit, he'll still need to talk to my parents." At this point, Hidan cast the miser a sideways glance. "See where I'm going with this?"

Ah. Well that was certainly a hitch in the grand scheme. "I didn't think about that," Kakuzu admitted.

"You really are the dumbest dumbass I've ever known," Hidan muttered in disbelief. "And I've lived with the psychotic homeless."

"Why couldn't you go to the courthouse and see about getting emancipated?" Kakuzu proposed. "Between you and I, it shouldn't be a problem to cover the legal fees."

"Are you out of your fucking mind?! It takes forever and a day for those bitchy little bureaucrats to get off their asses and take care of the paperwork, and I'd still have to go to the judge and prove I've got a home, employment, all that shit! And what do you think's going to happen if I tell them I'm living with you?"

"Oh-"

"I'll tell you what! They'll throw you in the slammer and keep me at the police station until I lie and tell them you made me ride your baloney pony all fucking night!"

"Must you be so crude?" Kakuzu groaned. Bad mental images, very bad mental images. Like it wasn't hard enough to act like a responsible adult when he had his own imagination to deal with, never mind Hidan unknowingly making suggestions like that. Besides, hadn't the kid just said he was only 16? That made what Kakuzu was hoping to do to him seven different kinds of illegal.

"Focus," he snapped to himself. It was time to focus on the kid's future, not what he wanted to do in his own future. He needed to regroup, and fast. "Couldn't you just say your parents are busy and have me forge any signatures they need?"

"You're not gonna let this drop, are you?" Hidan muttered unhappily. "No amount of bitching or threats from me is gonna change a damn thing this time, is it?"

"Well what do you know. You really are that intelligent. Which only proves my point that you need to be in school this fall."

"Fuck you, Kakuzu." Hidan sighed and began shoveling toast into his mouth, clearly admitting defeat in his body language even if he'd never tell the banker he'd won. "I'll see what I can do, but if this turns into a total clusterfuck, you better let it drop."

-m-

For this first time in his thirteen year career as a principal at Public School #38, Principal Iruka was unsure of how to handle a situation with a student. He'd been busily working away at his desk, making preparations for the coming school year as well as attending to the current students who were participating in summer school to avoid repeating a grade, when out of the blue he'd gotten a call from Hidan Neko.

Hidan. Gods above, that child had been responsible for at least two of his stomach ulcers and several clumps of hair falling out. Whatever could be broken in the school, Hidan was sure to damage. Whatever non-lethal injuries a person could sustain, Hidan was sure to dole them out. The only reason Iruka hadn't expelled the kid in his second week here was that not only could he never pin anything on Hidan that was worthy of more than a detention, but his test scores blew everyone else right out of the water, and had helped drag up the school's average enough in years past to secure state funding. And then last year, Hidan had slowly started playing hooky more and more, until finally he stopped coming altogether. The faculty and students alike both breathed a sigh of relief at his departure, albeit Iruka did so with a pang of sadness that such an obviously intelligent boy was throwing his life away. So what was Hidan doing calling him now, asking if they could meet sometime today to discuss something important?

The intercom on Iruka's desk clicked to life, before his secretary's voice came through, loud, clear, and uncertain. "Principal Iruka, there's, err, someone here to see you."

"Hidan Neko, right?"

"How did you-"

"Send him in, Shizune." The intercom shut off, and a moment later a familiar Jashinist opened his door and walked in.

Iruka noted with a moderate level of relief that all in all, Hidan didn't appear to be in bad shape. His clothes and hair were clean, he didn't look emaciated by any stretch of the imagination, and there was a distinct lack of any injuries on his body. At least the kid had been taking care of himself. "It's been a long time, Hidan," the brunette male noted dryly. "Last time we spoke, you said several unflattering things about my mother using rather colorful language."

"Sorry, I guess," Hidan mumbled as he took a seat across from Iruka. The principal was honestly surprised by Hidan's reaction; he'd been expecting something along the lines of, 'Fuck you!', followed by a stapler going through his window. Instead, Hidan was quietly sitting in his chair, legs uncrossed and eyes looking anywhere but at the principal. "Don't take this the wrong way, but I didn't come here for a social call."

That was another thing; two whole sentences, and not so much as PG language from his mouth. Whatever Hidan wanted to say must be important. "I gathered as much. So, Hidan, what brings you to my humble abode of your own free will?"

"I wanna start school in the fall," the silver-haired teen blurted out.

Forget surprised, Iruka was officially blown out of the water now. "You want to start school," he repeated, needing to make sure he heard right.

"Uh-huh."

"You. The kid who publically declared his hatred of all things related to me and my school. The kid who took three weeks worth of unfinished homework assignments and set fire to them on our front steps. The kid who made two of our school police officers cry and quit within a month of starting work here. I could go on, but those are just the instances that come to mind." When Hidan didn't reply, Iruka sighed and continued. "Hidan, do you have any idea how much work it would take to get you back into the system, with your record? It could be done of course, and I'd be willing to help with that. But there's not much I can do without your parents' consent. Besides, why do you even want back in?"

Hidan was wringing his hands uncomfortably in his lap, looking like he very much wanted this entire mess to be over. "Someone pointed out I wouldn't get too far in life without a degree. It's just two more years; I can handle that."

"You didn't finish any of your sophomore credits, so it'd be a entire additional year of work."

"I'll take sophomore courses in night school," Hidan ground out, his hands balled so tightly into fists his knuckles were white. "We both know I'll be fuc- can handle junior courses."

"…It's taking everything in your power not to cuss me out six ways to Sunday and storm out that door, isn't it?" Hidan flinched but didn't answer. "Thought so. Hidan, be honest. Why the hell are you in my office, groveling to come back to the place you hate more than anything?"

"Because that person I mentioned earlier always goes out of his way to make sure I'm ok," Hidan spat out, glaring down at his lap. "It's annoying as all-you know, and it drives me up the wall, but it's still…nice, I guess. And if he goes through all that and I turn out to be a worthless waste of space like my old man-" (Iruka chose not to comment; from what he understood, Hidan's dad had been out of the picture for a long, long time) "-then everything he did was a waste. He thinks I'll be fine, I think I'll be fine, so just let me back in. Please," he added, eye visibly twitching at having to use manners.

Iruka raised a brow at the teen's explanation. "From the sound of it, you're pretty close to this person; maybe even living together. Be honest Hidan; your future depends on it."

"…Yeah, so what?"

"Is this a friend, or a relative, or…?"

"He's a dumbass, and that's really the only way to describe him," Hidan deadpanned.

"You seem to have a mighty high opinion of this 'dumbass'," Iruka pointed out. "How exactly did you come into his care?"

"I tried to mug him, he took my knife and gave me donuts, and things just kinda went from there," Hidan stated.

"That sounds…oddly like something that would happen to you."

"Just let me back in," Hidan requested one last time. "Even if you hate me, he doesn't deserve to have everything he did wasted."

"Well if this person is willing to put up with you for an extensive period of time, he's either completely out of his mind or he sees something in you," Iruka reasoned.

"Hey!"

"All right, I'll see about getting you back into the system."

Hidan looked genuinely shocked. "You mean it?" Iruka nodded, making Hidan smirk. "Good. Now I can get that moron off my ass."

"What-"

"Figure of speech!" Hidan quickly clarified in a panicked manner.

"Right…you'll need to go to the doctor and get him to sign this note saying all your medical records are up to date. You'll need to fill out these forms at some point before the year starts, and have a guardian sign them. I suggest you pretend this caretaker of your is a distant relative of some sort."

"Yeah yeah," Hidan dismissively agreed, already planning on forging his mother's signature. It wasn't like anyone would bother to verify her handwriting anyway.

"I'll see about getting you enrolled in courses, but at this point you'll have to take whatever's open. Understand?"

"Just sign me up for whatever's hardest. You know some idiots are gonna drop out the first week to take remedial classes, like they always do."

Iruka frowned but had to admit, the kid had a point. Yet there was one last thing he had to say, particularly since Hidan had so quickly returned to being a rude little hooligan as soon as Iruka had caved. "Hidan, I'm doing all this because of a huge leap of faith. You don't get into fights, you don't cuss out the staff, and you don't play hooky or damage any school property. One instance and your head's on the chopping block; am I clear?"

"I got it, be a good kid or get intimate with the fast food industry," Hidan agreed. "Anything else?"

"No, just take these papers and you're free to go."

"Sweet!" In the blink of an eye Hidan had snatched the papers and bolted from the office. Moments later, Iruka had the pleasure to hear a string of repressed curses being shouted at the top of Hidan's lungs as the teen ran out of the school.

The principal sighed and sank down in his chair, already feeling another ulcer coming on. "I've probably made the biggest mistake in my career by doing this," he muttered. "Still, if Hidan's got enough respect for someone that he'd actually come back to school, maybe there's hope for him yet."

-that night-

"Pay up, dumbass!"

"Pay?" Kakuzu inquired from over the edge of his newspaper.

Hidan rolled his eyes at the banker, who was seated rather comfortably in the living room's sole chair. He'd gotten back to the apartment hours ago, and had waited impatiently for the banker to come home and eat before pestering him. "Yeah, pay me! I went groveling to school and got them to let me back in. By the way, I'm going to need you to forge some emergency contact info. Anyway, I did what you wanted so now you do what I want!"

Kakuzu was quite pleased that Hidan had actually followed through on his request; granted, his life was probably going to become a veritable hell once the school year actually started, but for now he could be happy with Hidan being enrolled. "What do you want?"

"Take us out to dinner. Somewhere nice with food that doesn't taste like ass."

"Absolutely not."

"Ah come on, cheapskate!" Hidan whined as he grabbed the banker's arm and attempted to pull the man from his chair, to no avail. "I had to act all polite and shit and couldn't swear at all!"

"…"

"Well, maybe I swore a little, but it wasn't bad!"

"Hidan, forget it. We're flat broke until payday because someone thought it would be a good idea to put an entire frozen tuna in the blender, and we had to replace it."

"You can't prove jack," Hidan countered.

Kakuzu shook his head and returned his attention to the paper. "Forget it kid. The chance of a promising future should be reward enough for you."

"You will pay," Hidan hissed at the older man. "I'm going to get something out of this, dumbass! Starting with your bed."

"Wait, you can't-" but Hidan had already taken off and locked himself in Kakuzu's room, meaning that the banker was now condemned to a night on the couch. With a sigh of defeat, the miser closed his paper and stared up at the ceiling. "Perfect."