Kaidan paced back and forth outside Shepard's door, hesitating even though the door was unlocked. The high possibility for fatality of their mission to Ilos hand imbued him with a sense of purpose. All of the flirting and the near-kiss had been driving Kaidan crazy. Though he had managed to suppress his feelings enough to stop them from interfering with work, he had to make himself known in no uncertain terms before the next day.

He shook his head, attempting to clear his thoughts and find the last bit of bravery. Finally, taking a breath, he stepped through the door.

"Commander?" he managed.

"You probably shouldn't call me that. I probably shouldn't even be wearing this uniform," Shepard lamented. Kaidan secretly agreed, immediately picturing the Commander without her uniform on…or anything else, for that matter. He pushed the image back and focused on the conversation.

"Yeah, hell of a thing," Kaidan said, "We broke our oath to defend the Alliance so we can keep it. What happens if this doesn't work out, Shepard? We mutinied, stole a prototype warship. If they wanted to get technical they could even throw in kidnapping. We're a hell of an example of humanity's best and brightest, huh?"

"I keep reminding myself we're doing the right thing. I don't believe me yet," Shepard said, shrugging.

"Well if I didn't think you were doing the right thing, I wouldn't be here. It'll really hit the fan when we get to Ilos. If things don't go well, I want you to know, well," Kaidan hesitated, and though he stepped toward her, he faltered, "I've enjoyed serving under you."

Shepard cocked her eyebrow, "Kaidan, you stopped being a subordinate a long time ago. I think it's time to act like it."

"Battlefield flirting is one thing, Shepard, but there are regs against fraternization. Though I suppose breach of protocol will be pretty far down the list of charges on our courts martial," he saw the confidence on her face and decided to go for it, "You know what? You're right. About everything. I think about losing you and I can't stand it. The galaxy will just keep going. Everything, even the Reapers will come around again. But you and I, we are important right now. This is what will never happen again. Us. Shepard, you make me feel human."

"Bunk here tonight, Kaidan. With me," Shepard said, sure of herself.

"Is that an order, Commander?"

"Shut up and get over here," she chuckled.

"Careful, Shepard. I might think that you're abusing your authority – a serious breach of protocol," Kaidan wheedled on, his nerves making his mouth run on even as he moved a step closer to Shepard.

Shepard smirked and then quickly closed the distance between them, encircling his neck with her hands and pulling him swiftly forward. His body crashed into hers and his arms immediately wound around the small of her back. His heart was racing as their lips met, forceful and passionate yet tender. He was painfully aware of every point of contact between their bodies as he kissed her and ran his hands over her curves.

Kaidan began to kiss her neck. Shepard chuckled again and, not relinquishing her hold on Kaidan, began to step backwards toward her bed. She slid her hands up his shirt and quickly had it off, throwing it in a corner. He hesitated a half a second before gently inching her shirt up. He moved in closer again, kissing her as he slowly removed her shirt.

Shepard kissed him harder and reached her hands under his belt and began to undo it. Kaidan's pulse accelerated even further. His renowned self control was about at its end. He grabbed her belt and undid it, leaving both of them mostly naked. Shepard again took a step back, her eyes roaming his body appreciatively. Then, for the first time, he saw her blush. She looked down at the ground, glimpsing up at him through her eyelashes, and unhooked her bra, then slid her way out of her panties. Kaidan caught his breath and followed suit, sliding his boxers to the floor with a blush to equal hers.

Shepard met his eyes, hungrily, but for the first time, hesitantly.

"You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen," Kaidan said softly, again closing the distance between them. He laid a gentle kiss on her forehead, her nose, and then on her lips. She felt incredibly warm as he held her.

Shepard smirked, "You're not too bad yourself, either, Kaidan." He saw a playful light in her eyes as she pushed him back onto the bed. He lay down and watched as her naked figure crawled up his body. His ravenous desire for her was tempered by his desire to savor his time with her, and by the pure joy that he felt. As her lips again touched his, he smiled and rolled over, looking down into Shepard's sea green eyes.

Kaidan was gentle, filling all of his actions with meaning. He wanted his feelings, not just his physical desire, to be obvious to Shepard. She too had her turn in control, and though she was slightly less gentle, the passion between them was unequaled by anything in Kaidan's life.

After, the two lay entwined in Shepard's bed, basking in the catharsis which they had just undergone. They lay facing each other, knowing that they should sleep soon. Who knew what tomorrow had in store?

"You know," Shepard said, "I really think that this can work, Kaidan. I've always been too busy for much dating, or really any dating, but having you by my side through everything…We'll go through it together."

Kaidan smiled and nodded, kissing her on the forehead again. "I wouldn't have it any other way," he said, "I haven't had much experience dating either. Like I said, it's not something I take lightly and I haven't had much free time. I know we both understand our responsibilities. Even though we'll have to be careful, I can't imagine a more ideal woman."

Shepard smiled sleepily, "I hope we get more nights like this. This is just the beginning."

"So, do I get to call you Lily now?" Kaidan asked.

Shepard scoffed, "Please don't. I still hate that name. Who's going to take Lily seriously? It sounds weak."

"I don't know…Commander Lily? I like it. I think she sounds pretty tough."

Shepard pursed her lips and began to roll over, but Kaidan grabbed her and snuggled her closer.

"So…what happens after this?" Kaidan asked sleepily, "We kick some ass and save the galaxy. How do we follow that up?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind a few more nights like this. Hell, after this I may not let you out of bed."

"Ha, well I appreciate your confidence in me. But what are you gonna do when you retire?" he bent his neck to look into her eyes while she thought.

"I can't imagine retiring right now. I guess…I'd like to get a dog," she said finally, "something big."

Kaidan laughed. Shepard enjoyed being close enough to feel the rumble in his chest.

"You really are a girl after my heart," he said, then closed his eyes, "I'd like to take you on a real date. Be normal people for a little while. Even though I do enjoy our more adventurous dates."

The two fell asleep, completely content, knowing that whatever tomorrow brought, they would be together.