I don't own these characters.

Colourblind - Chapter Six

It wasn't quite 6am, and it was still dark outside. There was nothing but the sound of slow breathing, the occasional shuffle of a sheet. A dim lamp was lit in a corner of a room, casting only a dim glow over the two prone figures.

Quistis was watching Seifer sleep.

She never failed to be astonished by his looks. Even in sleep, with his face slack and his arms and legs in strange positions. He was like a Greek god. He reminded her of a statue she'd seen once in a museum.

She ran her hand across his short blond hair, which was sticking up at odd angles, and she half-smiled. He had long eyelashes. His skin was a smooth golden colour. His body was still well-muscled and strong from years of training and fighting. He was beautiful.

Seeing him like this, so vunerable and sweet in his sleep, made her decision all the more difficult.

I can't do this. I can't feel this way.

Her heart ached looking at him. She loved him, beyond words. Words that she simply couldn't get out, no matter how much she wanted to. She had no rational explanation for it.

In his sleep, Seifer sighed, and the little sound nearly broke Quistis' heart. She brushed a tear away that was running down her face.

Feeling this way was changing her. She was no longer in control and it terrified her. Quistis was so used to being in complete control of almost every situation, but not this one. Seifer was so unpredictable, so fiery, while she was so calm and logical.

This situation was not logical, and it was too much.

Seifer shifted in his sleep, his green eyes fluttered open, and he smiled sleepily at her. "What're you doing still awake, huh?"

That smile hit her like a poison arrow. Her mind was made up, but she was screaming inside.

The weather followed her all the way back to Balamb. Rain and thunder. The drips running down the train window reminded her harshly of the raindrops that had run down Seifer's face at her door the other night. She shut her eyes remembering it. The memory stabbed at her, and then ached like a wound in her chest. That moment, with the look of want and love in his eyes hurt her more than the memory of the huge argument that had followed the next day, when she'd told him of her decision. She'd been afraid of him at that moment. Quistis knew what Seifer was capable of, and in that moment the old Seifer had returned with a vengeance, truly sick of being cast aside and passed over for something else.

A single tear rolled down her pale face.

You let me in here, you sleep with me, and then you tell me you'd rather go back to Balamb?! What the fuck is the matter with you?! Or are you just running back to Squall on the off-chance that he'll just chuck Rinoa like you chucked me? I see what this is. I never want to see you again. I hate you. I thought you were different, but you're just like the others.

It's not like that, it's not...

Like hell it's not. You must think I'm stupid to try and pull that one. That scornful look. It's done.

He'd just left, slamming the front door.

Quistis felt she'd never forget the look on his face as he'd gone. The expression twisted and harsh, the look of someone who'd been so spectacularly let down that their head was reeling from it. He'd looked at her as if he hated her.

Remembering it made her feel like she was going to throw up. Now that she was on this train, she couldn't help but feel that she'd made the worst mistake of her life.

The last couple of weeks had dragged by terminally slowly, and all the drinking and working in the world hadn't allieviated Seifer's mood whatsoever. He was perpetually miserable and angry, and he was beginning to hate this city. Everywhere he went something reminded him of her. He would do a double-take at any slim, blonde woman he saw, clinging to the vain hope that it might be her, and then feeling like an idiot once he realised that it wasn't her, and that it probably never would be her again.

He had never felt like this before, and he hated it. Love was meant to be the greatest feeling a human could have, but all he felt was bitterness and misery and regret. What was it about him that made him so disposable to people?

After work, he headed straight for a bar, as usual. He didn't really know why he was bothering. Usually a stiff drink cheered him up no end, but lately it had just been making him feel considerably worse. He vaguely remembered laughing a few years ago when someone had told him that alcohol was a depressant. Now that didn't seem quite as funny anymore.

No sooner had he opened the door, but he heard a huge roar that made him nearly jump out of his skin, and was roughly hugged by a huge, dark-skinned man, while a petite young woman with grey hair and an eye-patch stood to the side, giving him a surprisingly large grin. It only took moments for Seifer to realise who he was being hugged to death by.

"Seifer!" Raijin bellowed. "It's been too long, ya' know?!"

Seifer wanted to cry, but obviously didn't. He would've been mocked endlessly, but he couldn't think of two people who he would've been happier to see at this moment in time.

"It's so good to see you guys," said Seifer, trying not to sound choked up.

Fuijin being the more perceptive of the two noticed Seifer's slightly red eyes and was surprised. She raised an eyebrow "PROBLEM?"

Seifer just shook his head. "Let's get some drinks and catch up, huh?"

"Just what I was thinkin', ya' know?"

Many drinks later, Seifer and Raijin were slumped into their seats, faces flushed and grinning stupidly. Seifer had forgotten how much he'd missed the company of his posse. Fuijin's constant mockery and general abuse of Raijin never failed to make him laugh - something which had become almost foreign to him over these last few weeks. Raijin was much further along than Seifer in his drinking, and had started telling particularly rude jokes, which were almost always followed by a kick in the leg from Fuijin, although not even she was totally without a sense of humour, and had to stifle a few laughs.

Eventually, after several more drinks, the whole story about Quistis came out, much to the surprise of the posse. Seifer had to be drunk to talk about a girl like that, although it wasn't said with much enthusiasm. Knowing better than to make fun of a drunken Seifer, the pair decided to be sympathetic.

"I just don't know what her damn problem is," Seifer huffed. "I was actually nice to someone for a change, and they run a mile." He made a derisive noise. "Pfft, women."

"Yeah, man, women, ya' know?"

Raijin was promptly smacked around the head by Fuijin. "IDIOT."

Seifer smiled wryly at her. "Come on then, Fu. What do you think about this whole shitty situation? If you're so smart..."

Fuijin glared at him as well as a person with an eye-patch can. Raijin and Seifer both knew how much she hated being asked direct questions that required answers with more than one word. She figited in her seat and toyed with her glass. Finally, she sighed and relented. Fuijin wasn't stupid. As much as Seifer had tried to disguise how much Quistis' apparant rejection had hurt him, to Fuijin it was obvious. She knew Seifer well enough to know when he was genuinely bothered or upset by something.

"Well, going by what you've told us, she's confused. Maybe because she pined over Squall for so long, and then once she told him how she felt, he rejected her. My guess is that she thinks that once she tells you how she feels, she thinks you'll lose interest. I think you should either go and tell her how you feel about her, or just get away from this place, if it's making you so miserable."

Raijin and Seifer stared at Fuijin, dumbfounded. Moments like this made them both wonder why she didn't just speak normally more often.

Seifer looked at his lap and frowned. She'd made sense. "So, you think that I should just leave here if I decide not to go and see her?"

Fuijin shrugged.

"Well, you said yourself that you can't get her out of your head here."

"True."

Fuijin looked at Seifer directly. "The thing is, if you leave, and she comes back for you, you won't know about it. Would you really want to risk that?"

Seifer snorted, his face clouded with anger. "She left me to go back to that piece-of-crap Garden. She's had two chances to stay." He pulled the wrapper off his bottle of beer and crumpled it up, frustrated, and feeling bile rising in his throat. "She can go to hell for all I care."

Raijin and Fuijin exchanged concerned glances. It was blatant that Seifer meant the complete opposite, but there was no point in telling him that, because Seifer knew that for himself, and he hated it.

Bitterly, he hoped that wherever Quistis was, she was miserable, and missing him, and knew that she'd made the biggest mistake in her life. If she came back to Deling City, he'd be gone, and then she'd really know what it felt like to be abandoned.

Seifer glared at his beer bottle, almost willing it to explode. But it didn't, and all he was left with was his stewing emotions, and his posse looking at him like he'd lost his mind.

He ordered another drink, and had to be carried home.

Sorry that the chapter was so short, I've been a bit busy, what with it being nearly Christmas and everything. Remember to review, folks. :-)