Title: Coming Home
Pairings: Alistair/Elissa Cousland
Rating: Mature
Summary: He was screwed – not in the way he had been hoping for, nevertheless – he was screwed
Timeline: Post Comics (King & Queen Play-through)
Kink: Angst – like seriously, Er – heavy sexual themes? Angry/Rough implied Sex. (I sincerely do not know how to write Kink warnings)
Warnings: Okay – From what I can tell – the Comics are set after Act 3 of II so the Warden is still around. I am guessing it is roughly six months(?) for the whole the comics to be completed? Because going by the Codex in Inquisition – it has implied that the Warden had been gone for a while so they went missing before Inquisition so this is set in between these two events. *Sighs* Bloody time-lines.
A/N: Light Spoilers for the Comics (nothing major)
(Also hints of 'A Warrior and His Rogue')
Based on a Kink Meme Prompt
Coming Home
Yellow Rose
She was holding a yellow rose.
He was screwed – not in the way he had been hoping for, nevertheless – he was screwed.
"Welcome home, Your Majesty," Arl Eamon (his now Advisor) bent slightly at the waist in greeting, "I trust your quest was successful." Alistair cleared his throat as he tried not to think about the quest.
"It was...eventful." He glanced at his wife, who was staring stonily out at the crowd, still holding the damnable yellow rose. He tipped his head at Eamon, giving Teagan a nod, who gave him a knowing look.
At his side was Anora, the former Queen of Ferelden. Elissa had managed to talk to Anora after the Landsmeet and somehow the two of them had come to an agreement that Anora would be Elissa's advisor.
His wife never failed to amaze him with her silver tongue and he turned to face her.
She looked beautiful in her red and gold dress, her black hair pulled back in a bun, a few strands framing her face. His heart ached at the sight of her. He had nothing but his dreams and memories of her to keep him going in the last few months.
"My Wife," he greeted, giving her a smile. Her eyes darkened, with annoyance or sadness, he could not tell.
"My King," she replied, cordially, and he felt his heart tightened. Oh, she was pissed. That was good to know. "Please greet your People."
He turned, giving them a wave, watching as the Crowd cheered for the return of their King. He wondered why the crowd was here. Usually when one of them was gone, the return was a sedated nature, sneaking into the castle the night before and greeting the People the following day.
Glancing to the side, he saw Eamon giving him a proud nod. Anora narrowed her eyes at the older man and he knew that Eamon had set it up.
Looking to his other side, he saw his wife was still staring straight ahead. Glancing downward, her knuckles were white. Blood slowly dripped from the palm of her hand, where her fingernails dug in, and he, abruptly, turned to her.
"Elissa-" He reached to touch her, grabbing the handkerchief from his pocket and placing it under her hand.
Elissa grabbed the handkerchief, pulling her hand close to her body, away from his touch and he faltered. He had half expected her to pull away from him and it stung to realise he was right.
He sighed and turned to Eamon. "We should enter the Castle. I will meet with them tomorrow." He waved one last time at the Crowd and they seemed to get the message, returning to their duties.
"Very well," Eamon agreed. Alistair turned to look at Elissa once more, who had wrapped the handkerchief around her hand, the blood spotting through the material, still holding the rose.
"My Wife." He held out his arm.
She brushed past his outstretched arm, ignoring the offer, and stepped into the castle, removing her tiara. He followed her. They needed to talk.
"Elissa-" She stopped, her hand falling to her side with the tiara glinting. He had the tiara commissioned for her shortly before their coronation. She had not liked the crown. Wade loved him and Herren still glared balefully at him whenever he stopped by the shop.
"Alistair, we should speak," Eamon spoke up and Elissa stiffened.
"I need to talk to my wife," Alistair told the older man, his eyes not leaving his wife's back.
"Speak with Eamon," Elissa told him. "I have things I need to do." With that, she walked away. She never looked back at him and his heart thudded as his mouth became dry.
Anora shot him a look as she walked past him with Teagan at her side. He barely saw the look nor Teagan's look of sympathy as Eamon grabbed his arm, pulling him down to where the library was.
Alistair frowned when he realised where they were headed instead his office that he had set up specifically for these kind of meetings and wondered what the older man was up to when Eamon opened the door, pushing Alistair in.
Entering, he felt like he was invading. This was one of Elissa's favourite places. He had lost count of the times he came across his wife sleeping with a book in her hands and it brought a smile to his face.
He cannot say she did not warn him as she had told him of her childhood, or that Fergus had told him if he ever wished to look for his wife, the Library should be the first place to search. Of course, Fergus smirking had accompanied that and dodging as Elissa threw a cushion at his head.
He came out of his thoughts when a low bark caught his attention and he refocused to see Damon was lounging in front of the fire and smiled at the hound.
"Damon," he greeted Elissa's hound. Damon slowly got up, his age catching up, and moved over to Alistair, bumping his head against the man's hand. "At least you're not angry at me." He chuckled, kneeling so he could give the hound a good scratch.
Damon whined, tilting his head, his brown eyes wide...and sad. Alistair felt his heart sank. Damon was an extension of Elissa's feelings. If he ever wanted to know what his wife was feeling, all he had to do was look at the dog and he knew.
"Sorry boy, I won't leave again," he told him. Damon huffed out a bark, bumping his forehead against Alistair, garnering a laugh from him. "Yeah, I can't really promise that, can I?" A wave of sadness crashed through him as he thought about his wife.
"Alistair, if you are quite finished?" Eamon's voice brought him back and he stiffened as he remembered why he was in the library in the first place. He sighed, straightening; Damon sat down at his side, turning to face Eamon.
"If this is about my quest-"
"It is about your wife," he interrupted Alistair.
Alistair narrowed his eyes. "What about my wife?" A hard tone entered his voice.
"Do not take that tone with me, Alistair," Eamon warned him. "I only have your best interest at heart after all." Alistair resisted the urge to scoff. Eamon had been trying to meddle in his and Elissa's relationship for years – before they had even gotten married – that his temper was at fraying point.
He had already vented to Zevran about Eamon's audacity when it came to Elissa. The Assassin had jokingly offered to take out the old man. Even today, Alistair was still unsure if Zevran had really been joking or if he had actually meant it.
"You have been trying to meddle in our relationship for a good while," Alistair reminded as he crossed his arms. "Do not try to deny it. And it is wearing thin."
"My job is ensuring the line of the Theirin continues," Eamon reminded Alistair and he curled his fingers into his palms. Here they went again. "I find it unsettling that after nearly 9 years together, you have yet to produce an heir."
"Elissa and I have told you that we do not wish for an Heir just yet. There are troubles brewing. We do not wish to bring a child up in this madness." A half of a lie. They had been trying for a child, the dreams of the young girl had been plaguing Elissa ever since their travels during the Blight.
However, at the same time, the rumours had caused them to put their plans on hold for the time being. Neither of them liked the sound of the rumours and admitted that having a child would make things complicated for them.
He already feared for her life as it was, the thought of her pregnant with their child had only increased that fear ten-fold. The nightmares that haunted him...he shivered at the memories.
"And I keep telling you that is precisely the reason why you should be giving us an heir. If we were to lose you, the country would be in uproar over the loss of their King and lack of Heir! Just as we were during the Blight!"
"Even if I were to fall, Elissa is perfectly capable of carrying the Throne. Even if she were to step down, we have made it clear that the Throne is to return to Anora," Alistair reminded.
"Please, Alistair!" Eamon gave him an exasperated sigh. "The Theirin line must be carried forward. You need to produce a child."
"Elissa-"
"You should consider that maybe Elissa is not as faithful as you may wish to believe she is," Eamon cut in. Alistair narrowed his eyes at the older man. He had been wondering when Eamon would get round to using that excuse.
Funny how it was perfectly fine for man to have lovers – he knew of Calian's less than discreet affairs - yet a woman would be condemned. Even though he knew Elissa was faithful, he also knew that Eamon would stop at nothing to rip her reputation to shreds, purely because she has not given him an heir.
The only reason he allowed Eamon to stay around was the older man had been Calian's, the former King, Uncle. It was no wonder he preferred Teagan's presence. Teagan had understood Alistair and Elissa's concerns regarding the rumours. Teagan had been the one to bring it forward.
"Oh?" he asked, lightly, wondering where the old man was going with this.
"She has been seen sneaking out of the castle during the night. There are rumours that she may have a lover in the city. For your sake, your Majesty, you should consider a new wife. Maybe one who can bear you an heir?"
Alistair gritted his teeth. He remembered finding the letters Eamon had sent to Calian, urging him to set aside his wife – Anora – for a younger one, for one could bear him an heir. In addition, if he remembered correctly, Calian had pretty much ignored the older man.
"I shall take that under advisement," he informed Eamon, whose eyes narrowed.
"Alistair-"
"I once told you to keep your nose out of mine and Elissa's relationship." He narrowed his own eyes at the older man. "I trust Elissa." Eamon was silent for a moment before he nodded.
"Very well," Eamon stepped back.
"Is that all?" He asked and Eamon nodded. "You are dismissed." Eamon straightened before he turned and left the library.
Alistair let out a rough sigh as his hands dropped down at his side. Damon licked the back of his hand and he looked down, rubbing the hound's head.
"What do you say? Should I kick him out?" Damon barked and Alistair gave a short laugh. "I think I should have a talk with my wife." It came out darker than he intended but it was no less true.
~_CH_~
Asking a servant where his wife was led him to their bedroom. He hovered outside the door for a moment before he steeled himself and opened the door, entering the room. He saw her and closed the door behind him.
She was sitting at the vanity. Her hair was unbound, loose over her shoulders. His hands itched to bury themselves into her locks once more.
She glanced at him over her shoulder through the looking glass, the blue of her eyes turning steely.
"My King." He flinched as she stood up, turning around to face him. He took in the sight, his wife was just as gorgeous as the day he met her, albeit more dangerous now than she had been then. Her chest heaved beneath the heavy velvet corset and her hands clenched at her sides.
He walked toward, words running through his head as he tried to find a way to fix this chasm between them.
"Elissa-"
A sharp crack of flesh meeting flesh sounded through the air. He stared dumbly at the wall he now been forced to look at, his cheek stinging before he turned to look at his wife, her dark blue eyes hard with anger.
"You left," she breathed out, her fury clear, "In the middle of the night, without a Single. Damn. Word!"
"Elissa-"
"You do not get to address me!" she shouted, cutting him off again and he felt his own anger mount. "I am your wife! And you did not even confide in me before you left!"
"I had to!" he told her, grabbing her arm and she yanked it free.
"You had to?!" She demanded, shoving at his chest, making him stumble backward, "You had to leave in the middle of the night?!" She hit his chest. "You had to leave without word?!" She grabbed his shirt. "You had to leave me alone while Eamon tried to fill me with doubt that you had found another to love?!" She shoved him away again.
He was speechless. Eamon had been doing what?! So it was not just him Eamon was trying to fill with doubts, it was also his wife.
Shame bloom through him. Six months, he had been gone for six months and Eamon had those six months to poison their love.
"I did not find another," he told her desperately as he reached for her, hoping that she would believe him. She neatly dodged his attempts before scoffing as she crossed her arms over her chest, emphasising her bust.
"I am not foolish, Alistair. You could no more betray me that I you. The ritual with Morrigan proved that," she reminded and he rubbed his forehead, relief crashing through him. She did not believe he had betrayed her. He thanked the Maker for that.
"Thank you-"
"Do not think this absolves you for leaving without a word," she interrupted coolly, and he grimaced.
Yellow Rose
He really should have remembered she had been holding a yellow rose and it was going to take a good bit of grovelling – looking at her, he winced – a lot of grovelling, a lot.
"I had to go," he told her, holding up his hands as she prepared to shout at him. "I had to."
She paused; he could see the indecision in her eyes and wished he knew what to say to make up for his actions.
"You could have left a letter," she whispered. "Anything to let me know that you were safe, that you would return." He saw a tear trickle free before she wiped it away, turning her face and his heart hurt. He hated making her cry.
"Elissa," he stepped closer, "I am sorry. I should have left you a letter, I should have left you a rose or something but I...I did not know what to say. Everything seemed wrong."
"I love you, I have to do this, I'll be back when I can," she suggested.
Yeah, he was an idiot.
He remembered looking down at her the night he left. She looked so peaceful that he had to resist touching her, to resist kissing her and waking her up.
It had taken everything in him to leave their room, promising that he would make it up to her when he came back. Now looking back, he really should have left her something. He could not imagine what been going through her mind.
"I am going to stay in the other room," she broke into his thoughts, sweeping past him to get to the door. "I think it would be better-" He turned to look at her.
"No," he told her and she froze.
"What?" she asked, her voice deadly, as she turned to look at him.
"You are not leaving this room."
"I am not?" she stepped closer to him. "Who do you think you are-?"
"Your husband!" he shouted, grabbing her arms and pulling her in close. "I am your husband and I'll be damned if I let you go and stay somewhere else in this castle!"
"Now you decide you are my husband?" she demanded, trying to break free of his grip. "You, who disappeared for six months?!" She broke free.
"Yes, damn it!" He barked at her as he tried to grab her again. "I am your husband! You are my wife and you will not be sleeping in another room!" She evaded him.
"I am not some child you can keep in a room whenever they do something naughty," she snapped back. "I think it would be better if we were to sleep in separate bedrooms."
"And I say no!" He clenched his fists as both of them glared at each other. "I am not sleeping in this room without you. Wherever you go, I will go." She exhaled, exasperated.
"That is not going to happen." Her hand waved through the air as she turned away from him.
"Like hell it is not going to happen," he snapped, fear nagging at him. He cannot let her out of his sight, not with everything he had seen. He did not trust assassins not to try to kill her.
"Alistair-"
"I said no!" She took a step back, her eyes widening and he cursed, rubbing his face. "No, you can't stay somewhere else. Things happened on my quest and I cannot – I need you here."
Elissa scoffed and he ran his hand through his hair in frustration.
"Alistair..." she trailed off, obviously not knowing what to say. "We need the time apart." It looked like it tore her to say it. It tore at him to hear her say it and he shook his head, stepping forward.
"No," he repeated his voice soft but just as firm.
"Alistair," she took a step back but he refused to let it derail him.
"You are not sleeping anywhere else but our bed." She glared at him. "We need to talk. We've never let anything come between us."
"I do not remember either of us disappearing in those times," she reminded him.
"Elissa-"
"Maker damn it, Alistair!" She looked so tired. "We did not stop the Blight within a year just for you to up and leave me!"
"I couldn't take you with me!" He exclaimed. "Ferelden cannot be without both their King and Queen. And it was my duty to see the quest through to the end."
"And what about me?" she demanded, anger renewing in her eyes. "Did I not deserve to know of my husband's whereabouts?"
"It was safer, for both of us. People wanted me dead!"
"I thought you were dead!" The look on her face nearly broke him.
Shame and understanding slammed through him and he inwardly cursed himself for being so idiotic. She had lost her family. She would fear losing him and he had left without a word, without telling her what he was doing or where he was going.
He had not even written her a letter. He had tried, Maker knew he tried, but nothing came out the way he wanted it, so in the end he just screwed up the parchments, throwing them into the waste bin, wishing she had been with him to help him sort out his thoughts.
"Elissa-" She turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest. He wanted to reach out to her, he wanted to touch her, but he knew if he were to try, she would walk away.
"I spent six months in terror that you were dead. I waited for news from anyone to tell me where you were, if you were alive or dead and I got nothing." She turned around to face him. "Do you even understand what that made me feel?"
"I am sorry." He stepped closer to her. She did not move and he took it as a good sign. "I never meant to make you think that. I tried to write to you. But nothing sounded right."
"Anything would have been preferable to the torment I was putting myself through."
His laugh was short and bitter. "And I regret that." He shook his head.
"But you would make the same choice again if given the chance," she retorted as she turned to face him, tiredness on her face. She ran her hand over her face. "I-" she looked away. "I will just go-"
He got there first, slamming her against the wall, breathing heavily as he stared down at his wife as she glared defiantly back at him.
"You are not going anywhere," he told her, his voice low and hard that he could barely believe it came from him. Her eyes darkened, her lips pulling back in her trademark snarl whenever she was pissed and, Maker forgive him, she was gorgeous.
"So you say," she told him, her voice was low and he could not help himself. He kissed her, hard enough to leave bruises as he clutched her at her waist, pulling her up against him.
Her hands went to his chest and for a moment, he thought she was going to push him away when she clutched his shirt, returning his kiss with equal fervour that he felt like they were battling.
Elissa tugged on his shirt, one hand letting go to tangle in his hair and she yanked. He hissed, nipping her bottom lip as he pressed her against the wall, harder as they broke the kiss, breathing harshly.
"Do not think I forgive you," she told him, her voice hard but he just kissed her again. Her hand let the shirt go, running down his body and slipping under his shirt, resting on the small of his back when he felt her nails dig in.
She bit his bottom lip and he pulled back with a harsh yelp, catching that savage smirk on her lips and flicked his own tongue over his and tasted metallic. Blood. She bit him hard enough to draw blood and it fuelled him on as he kissed her deeply, pulling her up against him.
She scratched her nails over his back and he groaned, pulling away to look down at her. She was staring angrily back at him, her lips flushed and swollen. The blush dipping down to her chest and he ripped her dress in the middle, dimly surprised at his own strength but overwhelmed with his anger and his desire for his wife.
Maker's breath – she could stir emotions in him like no other. When he loved her, his devotion for her was clear for everyone to see. When he was pissed with her, his anger fuelled him on like some beast desperate to stake his claim.
The dress fell to the ground, leaving her in a sheer shift that hid nothing from his gaze. He swallowed, his hands smoothing over the soft material at her waist, roughly pulling her back in to kiss her deeply again.
She fought him, tearing at his shirt, and shoving them off his shoulders. She moved away to pull his shirt down his arms but was caught his elbows, baring his chest and shoulders to her.
She leaned forward, her teeth sinking into the flesh above his heart. He hissed, his hands flexing on her waist before she flicked her tongue over the mark, her blue eyes dark as she looked up at him.
"Tease," he snarled, letting go of her long enough to rid his shirt, grabbing her waist again.
"I really hate you right now," she muttered as he hoisted her up, drawing her legs around his waist, pulling the shift up as he did.
"I really love you," he shot back, a smirk crossing his lips before he kissed her neck, biting down on her shoulder. She let out a cry of his name and he grounded harder into her. Her head fell back and he slipped one hand into her dark locks and yanked her head forward as he lifted his own head.
"Do not look away," he ordered her, his voice dark.
"Is that my King ordering me?" she replied, sarcasm clear and he smacked her ass.
"Your husband," he shot back as she yelped then her eyes narrowed.
"That is funny-" he cut her off with another smack and he felt her answer on his stomach before he kissed her deeply and her nails dug into his shoulders then drew them down his arms, leaving behind scratches.
He bit her bottom lip, tugging before he kissed her harshly again as she tightened her legs around his waist, grinding down on him and he tightened his grip before pulling her away from the wall.
He needed her right now, and he stumbled over to the bed as one of her hands returned to his hair, yanking his head back before she kissed his neck, her teeth scraping down the side.
With a grunt, he dropped her onto the bed, watching as she bounced, looking up at him. Her body was hard; she tilted her chin in that way that infuriated yet turned him on.
A cruel smile crossed her lips, baring her teeth as she ripped the belt away, throwing it to the floor, and then tugged at his laces. She barely got his breeches down when he hauled her up against his body, ripping the shift free from her body.
His own nails raked over her side before he shoved her backward, straddling her body as he grasped her wrists, and pinning them down onto the bed before he kissed her deeply.
~_CH_~
Alistair panted as he stared at the ceiling. That was new, definitely new.
They had never been that rough and angry at each other. Well – there was that time that she was almost in danger due to an assassination bounty on her head and she wanted to use herself as bait.
However – this time, they had left marks – nothing permanent – but it was enough to let anyone, if they were to see, just how violent they had been. Moreover, he did not think they had resolved anything.
He swallowed before he sighed, closing his eyes. They had not resolved anything. They argued and they fought and they had sex yet they had not talked about anything.
Damnation. He opened his eyes, steeling his nerves.
"Elissa – I-"
"Don't," she cut him off, her voice soft. He slowly, gingerly, turned onto his side. They were going to pay for being rough with each other in the morning.
She was looking away from him. He reached out, slowly turning her face to him and he saw her eyes close.
"Look at me," he gently ordered. A crease wrinkled her forehead. "I can make it an order from your King if you wish." A smile twitched at her lips before she sighed, opening those eyes that caught his attention when he first met her.
They had been so dark, so emotionless that it made his heart hurt and he ended up saying something stupid that made them light up briefly for a moment, a small smile flashing across her lips.
Now – they were tired. He stroked her cheek with his thumb, sighing as he wished he knew what to say to her.
"Was it worth it?" she asked, her own eyes searching his.
"I…don't know," he softly admitted. "It was not what I expected." She swallowed before she nodded, her eyes dropping to look at his chest, her bottom lip trembling for a moment.
"I was terrified," she slowly admitted. "I had nightmares that someone would bring a letter telling me that you were dead. I dreamt that I was the one to find your body. I was petrified that you were never going to come back."
"You were the one thing that kept me going," he confessed as he slowly moved in closer. "Knowing you were waiting for me was the one thing that kept me going." She sniffled. "And I wish you had been there when I discovered the truth."
He felt so raw, so open and he knew that she heard it as she looked back up at him again with pain in her eyes. She just knew what he was thinking.
"I wish I had been there," she admitted as she touched his bottom lip, fingering the bite mark. "I wish you had let me in long enough for me to be able to comfort you."
"I-"
"Do not deny it, Alistair. You were never going to tell me the reason for your quest if I had not discovered the letter." She sounded so hurt. "I understand! I thought you of all people would have known that!"
"I would have told you." He desperately tried to believe himself but he could not. She just scoffed and he felt his heart break. He tried to protect her and he hurt her. "I love you, Elissa. So damn much that it's-" He cut himself off, unsure what to say.
It drove him crazy, how much he loved her. He wanted nothing more than to protect her, to keep her safe but he knew that she was a fighter, she could protect herself – even against him if it came down to it.
"I know," she whispered and he looked to see tears in her eyes as she looked up into his. Could she see his heart shattering? He could see her heart breaking. "I love you," she admitted brokenly. "But I really hate you right now."
"I know." It hurt but he knew it deep inside of him that it would take time for them to recover from this. He never wanted it to be like this – he never thought it could be like this but he had done this to them.
He had left her alone for six months without a word, a warning, nothing. While he was fending off assassinations and protecting himself from those who wished him harm, she was here in the Castle, protecting herself from Eamon and protecting their country – a duty they swore they would do together.
Tears trickled free from her eyes and he swallowed as his own tears filled his eyes.
"Please, Elissa," he wiped them away, not sure he what he was begging her for.
"Please-" a sob broke free from her, splintering his heart further, "Please do not leave without a note or talking me, again, please." He pulled her into a hug. She clung to him, holding him tight. "I cannot lose you, Alistair." She buried her face into his neck, her tears hot as her body racked with sobs.
"I promise," he whispered, kissing her shoulder, running a hand through her hair and down her back, remembering the time she had asked him not to leave back in Redcliffe after she briefly broke down over the loss of her family.
He had already broken that promise once; there would not be a second time.
The End
Hmm...
Thanks to Pervinca for betaing (If not for Pervinca – this would have never gotten posted)