A/N: thank you to all who reviewed! I love all the reviews you send. Good and bad. Here's the latest chapter. Hope you all enjoy this installment, it's a happier one –yay- this is my valentine present to you all, you can make reviews mine. smiles sweetly
I hope to have more up soon but haven't had time to write recently. Been visiting Adam today, my week old baby cousin. He's gorgeous, I even tackled Edinburgh for him! Driving through a city is not fun when you're a country yokel! Hehe.
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"Sam," Jacob warned.
"You had him for three hours! And look at how ill he is! You should know better!" she yelled.
"He had ice cream! Every kid loves ice cream! How was I to know he would get sick? I've missed out on three years of his life Sam! I'm sorry for trying to make up for that!" he yelled back.
"It's your own fault for missing out on three years! You wouldn't listen, maybe if you had this wouldn't be happening. Ever think of that Colonel? God, how irresponsible can you be? He's TWO, his body can't handle that much ice cream!"
"Exactly, he's two. He needs to learn from his own mistakes. He wont be eating that much ice cream, if any, for a while now."
"I don't want you near my son," her eyes on fire with hatred.
The two men in the room stood rooted the spot in shock. They knew she was mad, but this was too far.
"What?! Sam, I've already lost one son, don't make me lose another one," Jack argued.
"Sam, Jack wants to help. Don't do this. Think of Jake, he needs his dad," Jacob said, trying to calm his daughter.
"We were doing just fine until we came back here. We don't need anyone, least of all him," she spat.
"Sam, honey, this isn't you talking. You need to calm down and think straight," Jacob tried to reason as Sam stormed out of the room. "Sam, where are you going?"
"To get those damn pills," she shouted back, while rummaging the cabinets in the kitchen trying to find her anti-depressants.
Jacob shot a worried look towards Jack, who looked completely clueless, before running into the kitchen and grabbing the packet of drugs from his daughters hand before she could take any.
"Dad, give me my medication," she growled.
"And how many were you planning to take?" he asked, holding them out of her reach.
"Just the one, like the packet says," she stated, folding her arms across her chest.
"Are you telling me the truth Sam?"
"Daddy, I need them. Please, give them back," she begged like a child.
"Please Sam, baby, don't do anything stupid," he said as he handed them back.
"Like what? Take an overdose?" she asked as she threw the packet across the room in rage. "God, dad, why would I do that when I have a son to look after?"
She pushed past her father and into the hall where she found Jack, looking even guiltier.
"I thought I told you to get out," she hissed.
"You're on pills?" he asked in shock.
"Yes Colonel, I take Prozac. Is that a crime?" she once again folded her arms across her chest and stood her ground.
"No… I just never realized it had gotten this bad… Sam, please, let me help you," he begged.
"I don't need your help Colonel. I never did and I never will. If Jake wants to see you again then fine, I'll let him see you, but other than that, I never want to see you again."
Jack watched open mouthed as she stormed up the stairs towards her son's room. He watched as she turned the corner and disappear from sight. He sensed Jacob looking at him and turned round to face him, closing his mouth as he did.
"Jacob, I swear, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt her," he stated.
"I know. Even I didn't know it had gotten to this stage. She's very vulnerable just now. Let her calm down properly and she'll be fine."
"I've really screwed up haven't I?" Jack asked, already knowing the answer.
"I'll go talk to her," Jacob said before walking out of the room and up the stairs.
Jack let out a long breath, and ran a hand through his short hair. He sat down on the nearest chair knowing he could be there a while.
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"Sam?" Jacob asked as he cautiously entered his daughter's bedroom.
"Go away," she sniffed.
"Sammie, please, talk to me," he begged as he sat down to her.
"About what? There's nothing to talk about," she said as she sat up on the bed and hugged her knees to her chest.
"You need to talk to Jack and get things sorted out," he said rubbing her cheek with his thumb. "And the sooner you do it the better."
"I don't want to talk to him dad, he'd only hate me more than he already does."
"Jack doesn't hate you Sammie."
"Yes he does. He hates me for leaving, he hates me for coming back, he hates me for things I've said to him," she vented.
"What have you said to him that I haven't heard?" Jacob coaxed.
"I may have said that he didn't deserve Jake…" she trailed off and looked away. "Out of everything I've said to him, that has to be the worst."
"Why won't you talk to him? Why are you making this so hard for yourself?" he asked, confused.
"I'm scared," she confessed
"What happened to the strong Sam I used to know?" Jacob wondered, knowing his daughter was trying to hide in herself more and more often.
"She got left behind on that planet, and I don't think she's coming back."
"Sam you need to talk to him," he tried.
"I don't think I can dad."
"Remember when you said you wouldn't be able to go though your pregnancy? Or life as a single parent? Or come back to the Springs and tell Jack what he needed to know? You've done all of those things Sam. I know you can do this," his voice confident.
"I can't," she said, her voice shaking.
"Jack wants to help. You know he does, Jake's his son too. Let him be a part of his life, it's the least both of them deserve. Jack's already lost one son, baby, don't make him lose another one."
"That's what he said," her voice was small, tears forming in her eyes.
"I know. I also know he loves Jake more than anything already. I don't think he could cope losing another son, do you?"
"No," she replied as a few tears fell down her cheeks.
"He's still downstairs. Go talk to him. For Jake's sake," he said wiping away the fresh tears.
Sam knew her father wouldn't drop the issue until she spoke to Jack, so she sighed and got off her bed and walked into the hall, muttering to herself as she went. Taking a deep breath she started walking down the stairs nervously.
She slowly entered the room and pulled her robe as tightly round her as she could. She cleared her throat to let him know she was there. His head snapped up at the sound. He knew she was nervous, he could feel it radiating from her.
"Hi," he said, leaning forward in the car he was sitting on.
"Hi," she replied, looking down at her hands.
"I'm sorry," he confessed. He watched as her head snapped up at his announcement, he never apologized.
"Wha… what?" she stammered.
"I'm sorry. For everything," he stood up and slowly made his way over to her, stopping a few feet away to allow her space.
"Me too."
"What are you sorry for?" he asked in shock.
"I don't think I can do this," she admitted. "I'm scared."
"You don't need to be scared Sam, I'm not gonna take him away from you, all I want to do is help. Can you let me do that?" his voice was hopeful.
"I don't know… its hard…" she trailed off.
"I know this is going to be difficult for you to adjust to, its going to be hard on all us. But I know we can do this, if your willing to try."
"I can try," she said confidently.
"You working today?" he asked.
"Was meant to be, but I don't know now. I don't like leaving him when he's ill. It wouldn't be fair on Diane either," she replied.
"I can look after him. Hammond gave me the week off to get to know him and try to work things out with you," he confided. "I wont give him ice cream, I swear."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
"He'll make you watch Thomas until you know all the words," she said, thinking it may put him off.
"I'm sure I can handle it," he said, making Sam smile slightly at his reply.
"Okay," she agreed.
"Get some sleep, I'll be back in a few hours," he made way back over to the chair he had been sitting on and took his jacket off the back. He quickly shrugged it on.
He followed Sam to the front door, feeling much happier about their situation. She was beginning to let him in, even if it was only a little. At least she wasn't screaming at him anymore.
"Thanks Sam," he said suddenly.
"What for?"
"For letting me be a part of his life, you have no idea what this means to me," his voice was full of emotion.
"I hope your not going soft on me Colonel, and it's not a problem, this is mainly for Jake anyway."
"I know, but thanks all the same."
"There's a spare room you could use… it would save you going home to come back again…" she offered hesitantly.
"I need to get changed, but thanks for the offer. I'll be back about nine."
It was then that Sam first noticed that he was wearing an old pair of sweatpants and an old faded t-shirt. He was in his night clothes. His pajamas. He hadn't even gotten changed to go to her house in the middle of the night. He'd been to concerned about his son to care what he looked like.
"I'll see you then," she said after a short pause.
"Bye Sam," he said as he walked out the door and towards his truck.
"Bye," she replied before shutting the door. The air was cold and she didn't want too much getting in.
Turning round she jumped at the sight before her. Her father was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She hadn't even heard him.
"Everything alright?" he asked, a slightly worried tone in his voice.
"Yeah, he's coming back about nine to look after Jake while I go to work," she replied as she walked over to him, and put her arms around his neck.
"So I'm not good enough now?" he teased.
"Dad, this was your idea."
"I know, I'm just glad you're letting him do this."
"In a way, so am I. Now, I'm going to bed and try to sleep, I've got work today," she hugged her father before making her way up the stairs towards her room.
Jacob smiled as he watched her go, he had just seen a glimpse of the old Sam. Hopefully she would reappear more often. He made his way into the kitchen, he needed a drink. It was then he saw his daughter's anti-depressants still lying in the corner of the room. Hopefully she wouldn't need them for too much longer.