A/n: its sad how this is the shortest yet most important chapter before Bella find the Cullens. i had to make it short though, becuase if i didn't i would start rambling and then the whole point of the chapter would be compromised. so yeah.

your reviews make me happy! although, i have to say i miss getting them from saranicole. yep.

OH MY GOD, GUESS WHAT?! i got my first hateful review yesterday!!! aahh!! it was so exciting(i don't think i should be this happy about a hateful review, especially since the person blatantly called me a racist, but its soooo funny!!! hahahah! i dated a black guy once, how am i racist?) so if you all want to see this wondeful review, its on my old story This is How the Story Goes. go read it, its hilarious.

Disclaimer: if you've been reading this, then you pretty much know for sure that I don't own anything.

"And she walks just like I remember, like something's on her mind. And she said (and she said) that she would still remember, when everything, everything was fine. I wish everything was fine…" – Just Like I Remember, Bleed the Dream.

My visitor had an all too familiar face. As soon as I saw him I wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run. But something inside me propelled me forward and before I knew it, I was standing across from him, staring at him incredulously.

"J–Jacob?" I stammered. I lowered myself cautiously into the loveseat behind me. I sat dangerously close to the edge but I wasn't paying attention to that. I was still trying to snap myself out of this delusion I was having. Or at least I hoped I was having a delusion; it would be much better than reality right now.

"Bella," he smiled. He seemed genuinely happy to see me.

"How–what–I'm confused," I said. My head was swimming with question after question. How did he find me? What was he doing here? Would he notice that I looked different? Did he tell Charlie where I was? Oh crap, what if he did?

"You look good," Jacob frowned and stared at me, studying my face. Great, he did notice. How was I going to explain this? If I even explained at all?

"What are you doing here?" The question kind of just spat itself out – I didn't mean to say it.

"I had to make sure you were okay. When Charlie told us that you ran away, he feared the worst. He thought the Cullens had something to do with it. It took everything in Billy to convince him not to call in the National Guard to come looking for you." Great, Charlie probably thinks Edward and I ran off to Vegas and got married or something. I wouldn't put it past my father to think the entire Cullen family was in on the plan, either.

"How did you find me?" It was starting to feel like my mind and my mouth were no longer connected and my mouth was off on its own little rampage.

"You're truck is very hard to forget," – I knew I should have gotten rid of that hunk of junk a long time ago – "and you used you're real name and social security number when you got that job. All I had to do was call your boss and ask for your address." I seriously wanted to stab Max in the eye with a blunt, preferably rusty, object right about now. That man was my own version of the devil; I didn't know why I still worked for him – oh yeah, Jill, money, preoccupation.

"You shouldn't have come," I shook my head.

"What?" Jacob frowned. "Why?" The disbelief and confusion were apparent in his voice.

"You shouldn't have come," I repeated. I couldn't think of anything else to say and that seemed like it was good enough.

"But don't you get it, Bella! You can come home now. You don't have to live with these people. You can come home."

"Jacob," I sighed. "I can't go back to Forks. And plus, I like living here. Carmen and Eleazar have been nothing but good to me and I owe them so much. I can't just leave. I can't do that to them. I won't do that to them."

"I don't understand," he whispered.

And he never would. Ugh, how was I going to explain this in terms he would comprehend? This was going to be a long conversation. Or a very short one, depending on how well he took what I was about to tell him.

"Jake, I don't think you can understand. There's no way I can explain this without you thinking that I've gone completely off the deep end."

"Try me," he challenged.

"I–I wish I could," I replied. "But I just can't. All I can tell you is that I'm not going to leave with you. I'm not going back to Forks."

Jacob sat there for a few minutes, staring at my face like he was trying to grasp the concept of what I was saying. I didn't know how else I could tell him that I wasn't leaving without telling him the entire story – and I really didn't want to get into that.

"Bella please," He said finally. "You have to come back. Charlie needs you."

Jacob was sinking low with that one. Leaving Charlie was hard enough without having to be reminded of how much he missed me or how much he needed me. As much as I loved my father, he was probably better off without out me at this point.

"Does Charlie know you're here?" I asked warily. I was hoping he would say no. There I go hoping again – such a disgusting emotion, especially for a girl like me.

Jacob nodded firmly. "Of course he does."

"Aw, Jacob!" I groaned and slapped my forehead. "Does he know you've actually found me?"

"Well," he shrugged. "Not exactly."

"Good," I relaxed a little. "When you leave, I need you to tell him you didn't find me."

"Why?" How did I know he would ask that? Oh yeah, because humans are just naturally curious creatures. I silently cursed biology and brain chemistry for making this conversation that much harder.

"Charlie can't know I'm here." There. That sounded like a reasonable answer, right? It gave just enough information without revealing too much.

"Why?" Damn that stupid word to hell! I know for sure that Jacob Black is capable of saying other things and yet, it seems like only one word can be uttered from his mouth at the moment.

"Because he just can't okay?" I snapped. I was really on the verge of being angry right now. I didn't care if I came off as rude. I just wanted Jacob to leave so I could get on with my life.

Wow, that sounded selfish.

"Um, okay," Jacob blinked a couple of time and regained his composure. "Whatever you want, Bella."

"Thank you," my expression softened somewhat.

We fell into an extremely uncomfortable silence for what seemed like hours but was probably about five or ten minutes.

"Jake," I said finally. "I think you should go."

"You're probably right." Jacob stood up from the couch.

"It was good to see you again. I wish the circumstances were different though."

"Yeah, me too. You should come visit some time."

I only nodded and led Jacob to the front door. I didn't know what else to do.

"Take care of yourself, Bella." Jacob smiled sadly.

"You too. And watch out for Charlie for me, will you?"

He nodded, "Definitely."

"Thank you," I smiled. Jacob only nodded and turned around to walk to his car.

As soon as I heard the car door open I was on my way to the kitchen to bash my head against the counter. Maybe that would knock some sense into me. How could I have been stupid enough to allow someone to find me? What if Jacob had found out what we were? I am so stupid.

Carmen was going to kill me. I was going to get kicked out and abandoned and I'd have nowhere left to go. I hit my head continuously against the marble countertops and wished it hurt more than it did. I needed a good dose of pain, maybe it would make me think clearly.

When I was completely certain Jacob was far enough away, I ran out of the kitchen and grabbed my car keys and headed toward the front door.

Carmen intercepted me half-way there. "Where are you going?" she asked.

I pushed her lightly out of the way and walked out the door.

"I'm going to find a way to total my truck," I called before closing the door behind me.

I did eventually find a way to total that hunk of rusting metal, but I ended up having to walk about three hundred miles to get home.

I thought about calling Kate and asking her to come pick me up, but I wasn't sure if she even wanted to talk to me. I wasn't sure if any of them wanted to talk to me.

I mostly ran home; it helped to clear my head some.

When I walked through the front door I could already hear Carmen's frantic dry sobbing. Did something happen while I was gone?

I stood by the coat closet; afraid to move for fear that I would be kicked out of the house the second someone found me.

Kate came running down the stairs at human speed and stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. "She's home!"

Carmen was in front of me the next instant, embracing me and still crying into my shoulder.

"You will never do that to me again! Do you hear me?" she pulled away enough to glare at me.

"You don't hate me?" I whispered.

"Oh, sweetie, how could I ever hate you?"

"I unknowingly led a human straight to you. I could have gotten you discovered," I hung my head.

Carmen placed a finger under my chin and raised my head. "The key word there is unknowingly."

"You don't hate me?" I repeated to make sure.

"I don't hate you," Carmen smiled.

"We don't hate you," Kate added.

Two days later, I was sitting at my desk, hunched over my laptop, writing down phone numbers of hospitals and trying to drown out Carmen endless ranting. This multitasking thing wasn't working too well.

"…and then he had the nerve to tell me I…" Carmen grumbled from my bed.

"Hey, Carmen, I love you and all, but I'm gonna be busy for a while and I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you or something."

"No, that's okay," she stood up and straightened out her shirt. "I worked myself up; I need to go cook something." And then she was out the door.

I picked up my cell phone and started dialing numbers. One by one I crossed them off the list.

I sighed and dialed the next number on the list.

"Livingston General, how may I help you?" An overly cheerful woman asked.

"Um, yes, I was wondering if, by any chance, you had a Dr. Carlisle Cullen on staff…"

Oh snap!! Another Cliffie!! Man, am I evil or what?

Music;;
Just Like I Remember – Bleed the Dream
If I Fail – Cartel
Headlights – The Classic Crime
Breathe – Greenwheel
23 – Jimmy Eat World
Slow Dancing in a Burning Room – John Mayer
Sunrise Sunset – New Years Day
Rebirthing – Skillet
Winners and Losers – Social Distortion