Hn. I wasn't sure I liked this chapter, so I decided to re-edit it. I feel like my writing's going downhill because of all the essays I have to do for school. It's pretty much the same, (I just changed some words to clarify stuff) so you don't have to read it.
Informative bullshit of the day: A lot of people say that Tsunade has a jutsu that makes her younger, and lump her in with Orochimaru who takes over younger bodies to maintain his youth. No such jutsu exists, as is specified in the manga (which is why Orochimaru is switching from body to body...) Tsunade is fifty to fifty four years old and only appears young because of a genjutsu. Genjutsu are techniques which, through eye contact( I think), confuse the mind, so it can make a person think that Tsunade looks young and pretty (and not saggy at all : o ), or smell a certain smell, or relive a certain experience over and over. (I love that about Itachi...) ANYWAY What I'm saying is that excluding extenuating circumstances, Jiraya would die around the same age as Tsunade. Which would be old.
Disclaimer: I'd be a pretty big loser to need to write fanfiction for my own manga.
Chapter Six: One Little, Two Little, Three Little Idiots
One week. Two weeks. Three Weeks. Four.
One week until the Kazekage arrived.
Two weeks until he planned to visit Naruto.
Three weeks until he trashed the entire village when the blonde gaki wasn't there.
Four until Tsunade was totally screwed over once the Sunagakure envoy left. That is, if she was still alive.
Where the hell had he gone? Where would he be able to go and not be found?
It had been three days since Naruto had taken leave to restart his week-long training regimen. That in itself wasn't so strange; although the boy had been slacking off in the past year since Sasuke made jounin and he hadn't, everyone had expected him to kick himself into high gear eventually.
Everyone had also expected him to injure himself within the first two days.
But it became glaringly apparent when there were no signs of a struggle, that Naruto had most likely left on his own.
Naruto may not be the best ninja, but he was no slouch, either. And he wasn't completely stupid. Most of the dumbass things he did was when there was someone around to pick up the slack for him.
So if something had happened, and he had been attacked by something he couldn't handle, Naruto would've found some way to alert anyone nearby.
Kakashi had gone to check up on his former student as he was wont to do, knowing Naruto's near-abusive forms of training. All he had found were windblown leaves and thegentle, calming influence thatnature constantly swept throughout the forest.
Not long after, several teams of ANBU, jounin, chuunin, and genin alike had been sent to search the nearby areas and villages for the Jinchuuriki. Curiously enough, no leads had turned up, even when the resident shinobi guards had been questioned. Even if Naruto had been using a genjustu, which was unlikely because that was not a skill listed in his repertoire, the guards were chuunin level, minimum, and trained to see through such tactics.
Which brought Tsunade back to her diplomatic sinkhole. Gaara, Gaara, Gaara was COMING!
Naruto wasn't HERE!
Just when she thought she would be able to stabilize relations with the other village for good, too!
The recent Kazekage was not the gullible type. He would most definitely not believe that Naruto had been sent on a mission during the time he had allotted to meet with his rival. That specific week had been expressly left free for Gaara's entertainment with the one person who could truly understand him and spend time with him while feeling absolutely no fear.
Worst case scenario, the Kazekage would assume that the villagers of Konohagakure had taken it upon themselves to rid their prized village of its demon. Which would mean, if you were lucky, instant death, or if you weren't, a horrible, agonizing, venomous, painful demise.
And where the FUCK was that BRAT?
"Hokage-sama?" the door creaked open. "Am I interrupting?"
"Eh? Oh, no, only me biting of my nail to the quick. Not so important." Tsunade turned away from her window to see the boy, nearly a man, peeking his head into her office.
A flash of recognition sparked in Tsunade's eyes.
"You have a meeting with me, I remember. Let's see, your file's riiiiight...heeere...somewhere...I had Shizune put it on my desk...honestly...where is it? WHY CAN'T I FIND ANYTHING TODAY!"
She had started out calmly sifting through the mountains of papers. Then she had progressed to flinging them throughout the room. And eventually tearing up papers with her explosive temper.
"Aah, anou,Ho-hokage-sama?" the boy timidly interrupted. "I-is this it?" He held out a folder that had fallen to the ground.
"Why, yes! Thank you, such a smart young man." Tsunade took the sheaf of papers from the boy's hands with a politely foolish grin. "Nakatima Arashi-san. You took the genin examination a few days ago, is that correct?"
"Yes, Hokage-sama." "Please, call me Tsunade-hime, I like you, kid." "Err, yes, Tsunade-hime."
"These are the results afforded to you by your examiners on the written portion of the exam. You exhibited a necessary knowledge of chakra, justu, and shinobi basic laws, as well as decent chakra control. Do these results seem correct, Arashi-san?"
"They seem to be correct, Tsunade-hime." "Good."
"You do understand that you were given the medium-level genin test to ensure that in the case of your entering the Chuunin examination, you will not be a liability to your teammates, no?"
"Yes, Tsunade-hime."
"Don't be so nervous, you know, Arashi-san? Smile a little!" But before they always told me to smile less. "I won't eat you!" But I'LL eat YOU...
"Ahehehe. Sorry, I can't help it Tsunade-hime. You're very nice, though." Tsunade smiled at the blushing youth. She just might be in love...did that make her a pedophile?
Naah.
"Everything seems to be going along well, Arashi-san. We'll take care of your village registry along with your genin registry. I would advise getting a different job on the side though; D-class missions don't pay enough to support the cost of living." Tsunade continued informatively. Just like Sakura always used to be...
"I guess I'll have to look into that. My money's not going to last more than a month." Arashi stuck his hand behind his blonde head and scratched foolishly.
Tsunade crossed her arms and leaned her elbows on the expensive desk. "We-ell...you're such a nice young man, Arashi-san. I could always give you a desk job here, and it wouldn't interfere with your missions..." the blonde woman wheedled. She really, really, really wanted Arashi-san to work nearby.
"That'd be great, Tsunade-hime! But..." Training! Every decent shinobi, lowly genin or no, needed to train!
"Oh, you boys. Work won't really interfere with your training. The genin and chuunin get a month of leave before their examinations to train if they want. And the tower is closed on weekends in case of emergency, plus desk-days will be well integrated with missions." Honestly. Boys these days. Training was all they ever thought about.
"Actually, your shirt is falling down a little too far..." the golden child was looking away with a red flush gracing...well, blotting, his cheeks.
"...eek!"
Arashi left the Hokage's office that day with a sizeable amount of papers in his arms. Working in an office...he had always discounted that before, but now it seemed akin to easy street. It had...a system. He hadn't often used systems and order before, but now, it was like the work would be done for him.
If you worked in the office, you were under constant observation. Meaning certain advancements were liable to come to you. As in, if someone recommended you, you could not only receive D and C class missions, you could beassigned low-level B-class missions. Opportunities for diplomatic missions were oft to be put on your roster. The Hokage got to know you better, and could judge your leadership skills (as in the chuunin exam.)
Plus, the work was easy.
Or so he thought. But Tsunade had a mission planned out for him already.
-
For now, Ino was resigned. Her mother was clearly determined to marry her off to Hatake-san; not that it would ever happen.
To marry Hatake-san would be...unlucky. Pouring hot oil over her body wouldn't wash away the sin she would be cloaked in, pervaded with.
Sasuke wouldn't stand for it anyways. She was sure of it.
Ino hadn't seen him since that night in the forest, but she knew that he wouldn't let her be sent away against her will. He had protected her, hadn't he? He had escorted her home, breathed on her cheek, ne? Sasuke had never done those things before,to anyone,she was sure.
No one, not even Sakura, could take away those memories from her. It had to be a good sign, right?
To get out of her mother's path,Ino went out for her habitual walk. Today was not a sunny, golden day like the previous several; the sky was slate gray, and the leaves were turning a dry, crackling brown. The temperature was still moderate, but held a chill in the air, like it was going to rain soon, storm, perhaps.
It was the kind of day Ino liked the best.
When it was about to storm, the air felt full of pent up tension begging to be released. When it began to become windy, it was as if a trigger had gone off somewhere, or the stopper had been pulled out of the drain of a bathtub. From there on, thesky raged and cried, unleashing its frustrations upon the world.
Ino liked it because it reminded her of what she wanted to be.
Sure, she was notoriously bad tempered, mean and stubborn, but she never went all out, until her anger and sadness were fully spent. She had never held to disposition to, when she had the chance, really hurt someone.
She imagined that Sasuke was like that, too.
He had to be, living with the constant bother of the villagers, 'I love Sasuke, the great Uchiha, the last, the last, the most handsome last! But not the most talented. Never the best. Just loyal and lonely like a doggie.'Yey he never retaliated; the most he did was loose his negative emotions through training.
Or maybe he did? Utilized his career to burn off pent-up agression?
They really were a foul-mooded pair. Perfect for each other in that respect.
He never really went out of his way to talk to her; her only real encounter with him had ever been that time in the forest a few days ago. Even during the genin academy days, all she had done was admire him from afar, like everyone else. On the rare days she had sat next to him, she had been like every other girl, too shy to strike up a conversation with him, living off of stolen peeks at his profile, covered with blushes.
So maybe, today, she would run into him, and he would want to walk with her again.
Ino walked on a route most likely to take her past wherever Sasuke was. He wasn't at the training fields; she wasn't about to knock on his front door when he wasn't outside of his eerily empty house. He hadn't been around the missions office, either. Ino sighed as she left the latter location. Maybe he was doing his shopping. Shopping, hah. It was weird to think of Sasuke shopping for groceries or picking up dry cleaning, but she supposed that he had to sometimes, just like everyone else. She didn't really have anything to pick up at the grocer's and her mother picked up the dry cleaning when there was any. So that left one place where she could go without seeming weird.
The pastry shoppe.
Hey, just because she was resigned, didn't mean thatshe wasn't depressed, and therefore entitled to someform of caloric compensation.
At the moment she favored custard-filled donuts. Mmmm, donuts.
With a sense of purpose, she set up for the delicacy-selling shop of wonders. Until she came upon a flurry of papers, which quite effectively blinded her. Now, that would make for an effective jutsu. Paper Shield Technique! Try to punch through this baby, and you get a zillion paper cuts!
"Aak. What the!" Ino did get a paper cut in the attempt to remove the countless papers from her line of sight. It burned and itched and stung. "Hey!"
"Gomen ne! Gomen ne, I didn't mean to drop those!" A male voice earnestly apologized. A masculine hand groped at the papers still blowing onto her face, revealing a cloud-like head of blonde hair andsky blue eyes. "Are you alright?"
Ino was still a bit flustered and mildly embarrassed. She must have looked like...a funky chicken. Or something like that, when she was swatting at those papers. "Hai, I'm fine, just be more careful with those! You could hurt someone..." And people said she hadn't mellowed out over the years. "Who are you?"
"Aah, I'm Nakatima Arashi. I just arrived here a few days ago, so I was getting registered in the Hokage's office. She gave me all those papers, and I guess that wasn't the greatest thing on such a breezy day!" The boy (he looked to be about her age) laughed nervously as he pointed his thumb in the direction of the Hokage tower and waved the sheaf of papers around with his other hand.
"Oh, you're new?" Interesting. Today might not be such a bust after all.
"Errm, yeah. I was just going back to my hotel now and then going out to lunch..." He trailed off meaningfully. Ino took the bait immediately.
"Hey, I was just about to get lunch to. Why don't I show you around and we can get something to eat?" Sasuke wasn't there. Nothing could really damage her chances of being with him.
"That sounds great!"
"Hey, there's this pastry shop I want to stop at, too..."
-
"You're like...an eating machine." Ino's eyes had flatlined. He was just like a human garbage disposal. How the hell could anyone eat that much in one sitting!
They had gone out for barbeque; an Akimichi favorite, and therefore fairly popular throughout the village. And Arashi-san had eaten no less than three servings.
"Urmph?" he swallowed. "I get really hungry, so I eat a lot." Thanks to his oh-so-gracious tenant. It took a lot of carbs to maintain those chakra levels.
"How do you not...you know..." Ino leaned forward and whispered. "Get fat?" It was always good policy never to say that word whenever there was even the slightest chance that an Akimichi was nearby. Ino had learned that early on.
"Err...high metabolism?" GgrroOOOWWwl. "Really, really high metabolism?"
"That's ridiculous. Come on, I want some comfort food anyway." Ino stated brashly. This guy. He could eat that much and probably not gain an ounce. How many women, Ino wondered, would kill to have a metabolism like that?
"Mmm. Sounds yummy."
So they ended up leaving the pastry shop a half hour after they had entered it. Ino's wallet wasn't much lighter after she had payed for her one meal and cream-filled donut; on the other hand, Arashi's was depleted by a large margin. Oh well; it had been super-full to begin with, so he still had plenty left.
"You are soooo going to gain weight after eating all of those," Ino gestured to her companion, who was cradling a baker's dozen of jelly donuts in his arms.
"And I'll love it all dearly." he crooned, rubbing his face in the bag and caressing his belly.
"You're sick. Weirdo."
"...I know. Sorry." The blonde boy apologized and looked away. "Anyway, I have to go. Stuff to take care of, apartments to find. You know."
"Yeah."
Ino kept on walking to her house as Arashi branched away. She would sneak in through her window; there was a convenient tree by it. So her mother would get the hint that she didn't want to be spoken to.
With him gone, she realized that while she still didn't know much about Arashi-san, she knew even less about Sasuke.
Ino hadn't known, though, that Sasuke hadn't been as far off as she had thought he was. He had always been right beside her, in a sense. Following her constantly to find out how her brain worked, picking it apart. At first, he hadn't been pleased to see her with another man (boy.) But he had come to not mind so much; she hadn't shown an interest in the blonde newcomer. Only for him. She had gone out to find him, after all. She cared about her appearance, because she hadn't wanted anyone (him in particular) to know that she was looking for Sasuke. In a way, it was rather touching.
But Sasuke still wondered if she was color-blind.
To Be Continued.
Whee, another chap, another dollar. Wait, that's not allowed on this site. Nevermind. Sorry if this is lame. I sort of tried. A little bit. Kind of.
Jeez. The last two, well, three, chapters of Naruto were pretty freakin hilarious. That new guy...what's his name? Ran or Sai or something? He's my new favorite. As soon as we learn something more about him, I've definitely gotta write a fanfic on him.
Wow, that made me feel...like a dork. A dorky loser. As if writing/reading fanfiction obsessively doesn't already make me a weirdo.
Reviews!
Meinos877: W-wowza that was fast! Cookie time for you! I wasn't really mad. I just felt like snipping at you. Sorry. Anyway, thanks for the support and cheers long live NaruxIno! (Except for when I read/write other pairing which I also love!) Congrats for being my newest reviews often reader!
deathrosekitty: I just might do those alternate endings. That is...if I remember what they were. And that I wanted them. But just my luck...I forgot everything I wrote once I posted it. Heehee, yes, both of Sakura's parents have pink hair. Where else would she get it from? (Well...I just thought it would be funny. Hey, it's anime, it can't be that unusual. They don't show us what they look like anyway) Plus, Ino's parents are both blonde. It makes designing new characters easier.
The dark icon writers: There're so many things that could be done...ninja style. So. Many. Things. Everyone should eat...ninja style pizza. Though, in the Naruto world, I guess that would be okonomiyaki? (Something like that.) And they should eat the ninja-style-pizza ninja-style. Thanks for liking the last chapter! I didn't really like it much myself.
Shells: Thanks for liking Ino! No one said anything about her, so I don't think they really noticed her beyond the way she usually is. And it's good that you can predict what would happen, because otherwise this would be (more) boring than it might be. I don't really plan on making Sasuke be all rapey and lecherous in this fic which some people probably thought I would, but I already told everyone Sasuke's plans, didn't I?
BlackAdder42: Ha. The twists keep on coming. Because I have NO idea what I'm doing. Every single plan I had was shot to hell. And I'm glad that you'll be keeping an eye on this, because I hope you won't get frustrated with all the interference between Naruto and Ino (who, still, technically haven't met up yet!) Your support keeps me going, thanks for reviewing!
the chosen one: I'll update, I'll update, jeezie peazie! This is the only fic I am updating right now since my others are done or on hiatus. Glad you like it, I was getting worried that not many people were since I didn't get much feedback (huh, I really didn't notice, all that bitching just showed up all on its own...) I think everyone was pulling a me and mostly not reviewing until there were more chapters, because this is the most I've gotten.
Achalon: ...does that mean you don't like the weirdness? sigh Hey...can I...you know...throw darts at those little cartoon hearts? Will they pop? Hey, someone should make a game with a person, who has cartoon hearts floating around their head, and the player should have a bunch of darts to throw at them, and they lose points when they miss and hit the person. And then the person should be all like 'ow! Man, that hurt!' and they should bruise or bleed or something. Wait. I bet someone already thought that up, though.
Review, por favor!