Disclaimer: This is me NOT owning the Mentalist.

A/N: Woo, who's excited for this chapter? What is up with Fanfic reviews....I had to reply via cell phone because they aren't showing up on here. I made a banner for this story (I've become obsessed with making banners now) it's posted on jello-forever(dot)proboards(dot)com. It's under Fanfics Novels and Collections :) If you're not a member but would still like to see it then I suggest either becoming one because it's an awesome site or PMing me.

So here's the long chapter with Flashbacks and Nellie and more Ara and I'm making a run-on sentence because I'm bored and yeah I'll stop now.

Jane didn't know why he had just kissed Lisbon. Sure it was only on the cheek but it still counted and he knew he hadn't done it only to make Ara happy. It had been a completely selfish act that just happened to be what the little girl wanted too. There was an awkward silence that settled when he pulled back and met her eyes. She looked confused and he'd be lying if he said his face wasn't showing the same. Her cheeks were flushed, bringing a beautiful rosy color to her pale skin and all he wanted to do was lean back in and kiss her again. If he did, it wouldn't be on the cheek this time but he held himself back. There was a little one in the room and when he finally got up the courage to tell her or show her how he felt, he wanted them to be alone.

"Better Mum-mum?"

"Yeah. Yeah all better baby." Lisbon was trying her best to conceal the emotion that one little peck on the cheek brought out but judging by the look in Jane's eyes, he could see right through her. She didn't know whether to scream, burst into tears, or laugh.

"Trick a'ways make better." The awkward tension between them was no match for Arabella's sweet smile and even sweeter words.

"Thank you Bunny." She was wise for her age, Lisbon had known that from day one. Ara could pick up on feelings easily, when Lisbon was sad she'd try to make her feel better and it always worked to a degree. It was amazing how smart she was and now Lisbon was almost positive the little one could tell that her mother was in love even if she didn't even know what love was yet.

Jane was still staring, he knew it and so did Lisbon but he just couldn't stop. He was normally better at controlling himself. It was this case, he wanted her to be okay and she wasn't going to be until it was solved. He had promised himself he would keep her and Ara safe, he wouldn't let them suffer the same fate his wife and daughter had. He didn't know if he'd be able to protect them any better but he had to try. So far, he'd managed to keep the promise for a little over a year. As he watched Lisbon sit down on the couch with the beautiful mini version of herself, he remembered the night he had sworn to keep both of them safe; to keep them alive.

*Flashback*

Jane walked through the CBI building carrying a take-out bag full of chicken strips. The pregnant woman sitting at the desk in her office had mentioned craving chicken and he'd taken the initiative to make sure she had it. Everyone on the team had been just as supportive with the baby thing, but they all knew she was masking her emotions at work. Christian had been gone for almost five months and Lisbon had locked her feelings away. She buried herself in everything baby to keep her mind off of it, Jane was worried but he wasn't going to push her.

Just as he suspected she was leaning back against the arm rest of her couch with a book of baby names gripped firmly in her hands. She wanted to start early, that had been her excuse when she purchased the book after finding out she was pregnant. Jane knew the real reason.

"I brought you some chicken." A smile lit up her face as she dropped the book to the floor and reached for the food. Jane loved her smile, he always had but she gave new definition to the term 'glowing' that so many people used to describe pregnant women. She reminded him of when his wife was expecting. He pushed that thought aside and smiled as she bit into the chicken strip.

"You're my new favorite person."

"Lisbon, I'm hurt. I thought I was always your favorite person."

"Shut up. Do you want some?" She offered him one of the strips never taking her left hand off her growing belly.

"No, I got them for you. How are you feeling today?"

"Good, tired but I'm good. I'm five months exactly today." Jane stayed quiet, he didn't know what to say. Five months meant she had gotten pregnant right before the Christian tragedy. The distant tone of her voice told him that she was thinking about the same thing. He knew she had counted it back to the day; he had too. They sat in silence as she ate her chicken, he was perfectly content to watch her mindlessly stroke her stomach. He found her absolutely stunning, pregnancy really worked for her. They had become closer in the past months, it was normal for them to spend countless hours together just sitting around. He liked the company. "Oh oh...Jane."

"What wrong? Are you okay?" She had dropped the chicken back into the bag and grasped her stomach with both hands. She nodded and stared at him with tears welling up in her eyes before she grabbed his hand and placed it on her slightly swollen belly. He froze, he tried to pull his arm back. It was a reflex, he hadn't touched anyone's pregnant stomach since his wife's and that's when he knew she hadn't even realized what she had done.

"I'm, I'm sorry. I just..."

"It's okay Teresa." Jane forced himself to leave his hand, he didn't want her to start freaking out. After about a minute he relaxed and that's when he felt it. The baby was kicking, making itself known and he knew this was the first time she'd felt it. "She's moving."

"You don't know it's a girl. I'm waiting to find out."

"Trust me, besides you want a little girl."

"I want a healthy baby, sex doesn't matter to me." They both knew she really wanted a girl but she'd be happy with a boy too. Before he knew it, his hand was caressing her belly and gently stroking back and forth. Their eyes stayed trained on her stomach, smiles present on both of their faces and if anyone walked by they'd probably swear he was the father. That's when it hit him, there was a baby on the way. A little one he had to protect, a tiny child that would depend on everybody. Sitting in Lisbon's office with his hand over her belly and hers resting on top of his; he made a solemn vow to keep this one safe. Both the baby and it's mother.

*End*

Lisbon could tell just by looking that Jane was off in his own little world. Lost in a memory, she knew all too well how that one went. He stayed over by the desk, never moving and eyes trained on one of the walls but he was smiling so she wasn't about to call him out. It must have been a good memory. Ara was patting the side of her face trying to gain her attention but gave up and crawled off her lap.

"Ara where are you going?"

"Juice." She pointed to the diaper bag Nellie had left lying behind the desk. Obviously the small tot was more observant than she was, Lisbon hadn't even noticed it there. The ache in her head might have had something to do with that.

"Lisbon, after this case I think we..." His sentence was cut short by a young brunette knocking on the door and gently pushing it open. Even though Jane was extremely fond of Nellie, all of a sudden he decided she had horrible timing.

"Hey, sorry about just dropping by but I thought you might need me to take Ara home."

"Uh, yeah. Jane kinda gave you the evening off but I would be grateful if you'd take her. I really don't know when I'll be home, this case is..."

"Oh my God, Teresa are you okay?" Nellie gestured to the bandage on her head.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Looks worse than it feels." Lisbon was lying, they all knew it but nobody was going to call her on it. If she wanted to deny the horrible pounding in her head then they'd let her for now. "Ara kissed it better."

"Aw, she's so sweet. I'm not trying to be rude and I promise I'll fill you in later Teresa but I'm gonna steal Patrick for a minute." Lisbon nodded in slight confusion but it didn't bother her a bit that the girl was telling Jane something before her. She knew that Nellie held a special place in Jane's heart and vice versa. She settled for gathering Ara and her things while the other two left the room.

"Why are you stealing me?" Jane followed without protest as they made it to a somewhat secluded area of the bullpen. The corner over by his couch would be their conversing ground for the day and Nellie hoped Grace wouldn't overhear what she was about to say.

"I have a problem...well it might be a problem. Remember when I told you the reason I moved to California?" Instead of replying verbally he nodded and waited for her to continue the story. "The reason decided to follow me. I don't know how or why but it's here and I don't think I can go back to my apartment. I left early this morning and I haven't been back since."

"Okay, just don't panic alright. We'll figure it out, Teresa could help better than I can." Nellie knew he was right but she hated digging up buried bones and she was a little worried about her job. It didn't make anything better that Teresa worked in law enforcement.

"I know, I'm going to tell her I just wanted you to know first. I don't have to dig into my past to tell you."

"You never told her that you ran away from home?" She scoffed at his genuinely shocked expression and rolled her eyes.

"Yeah cause that's a great way to get a job. Hello I'm Nellie Ashner and I ran away from home when I was 15 due to some horribly tragic event; please let me babysit your daughter, come on Patrick!"

"Well when you word it like that, look Lisbon is your best shot. I hate to pull this card but if you don't tell her I'm going to have to."

"That's very fatherly of you so thanks. I know that means you care. I'll tell her I promise just give me a little time. Do you think she'll let me stay the night?" Jane knew she was telling the truth, she would tell Lisbon but he wasn't sure how it'd go.

"Nellie if you're this afraid telling her now would be a good idea but yeah she'll let you." He only knew about her past because of his perceptiveness and constant prodding. She had opened up and told him the whole story about two months after he met her which resulted in her crying and him left to try and make her feel better. Needless to say it had been an interesting turning point in their relationship of park going buddies. Now he wasn't so ticked at her for ruining his moment with Lisbon; he had been trying to tell her they needed to talk but Nellie had interrupted. Since he knew the reason and why she seemed so jumpy, he was glad that she had come to them.

Meanwhile back in Lisbon's office:

Lisbon cradled Arabella to her chest and hummed softly in attempts to both relieve the pain and calm the wiggling child in her arms. The only thing it seemed to be doing was calm Ara, the pain wasn't lessening a bit and as bad as she hated too, she knew she'd have to take something for it. She didn't want to, it would impair her judgement and with this case she didn't need that. It was becoming unbearable and if she didn't take anything then it would only get worse. She wasn't sure she could handle worse, it already felt like her skull was splitting open from the side.

"Nellie's going to take you home but I'll be there soon. I promise."

"Trick come home too?" Lisbon wanted nothing more than for Jane to accompany her home for the night but she knew it wouldn't happen and even the cute smile and gentle voice of her daughter wouldn't change that.

"No sweetie, Patrick has his own home." Ara set her face in a pout and crossed her little arms over her chest.

"Trick stay with me."

"If only it were that simple. Don't pout." She sighed in defeat but stopped pouting and settled for caressing the side of her mother's face. Her tiny fingers mapping the bruise that had formed. "It's only a bruise baby, just like when you fell into the coffee table and hurt your arm. Remember, I was showing you pictures of daddy."

"Daddy come back soon?" Ara was still too little to understand that her father wouldn't be back. Lisbon had told her that he wasn't here anymore but she knew that her daughter was still too young.

"No, he can't come back."

"Why?" Lisbon was used to this one word question, it had become Ara's favorite to use for absolutely everything but she wasn't prepared for it right then. She tried to think of an answer but nothing came to mind. Her little girl was staring back at her with inquisitive green eyes and she couldn't even think of something to say. She tried putting herself in Christian's shoes, he was always so good with explaining things to kids but that only made her heart ache. It did nothing to help the situation. Thoughts of him had been creeping their way into her mind a lot lately and it was starting to make her break. The dam she had built around that part of her emotions was starting to crack. It was ironic to her that he had loved her but she hadn't loved him and now she loved Jane but he didn't love her. Karma had been a bitch, this was its way of getting back at her for seducing him for such selfish reasons.

*Flashback*

Tears were streaming down Lisbon's face as she made her way up to Chris's apartment. She was sick of everything. Work, Jane, mostly Jane. It wasn't his fault though, he hadn't done anything other than be himself. It was her fault for falling in love with a man who was emotionally unavailable. All her fault and she hated it. Christian opened the door before her third knock, took one look at her appearance and ushered her inside.

"Resa it's two in the morning, what's wrong?" She couldn't explain to him that Jane had inadvertently stated he would never love again, or that he said without the chance of revenge there was nothing left for him in this world. She had thought that her friendship might have meant something but he apparently didn't care. It never crossed her mind that he was putting on an act for one of their suspects.

"Will you....I just want to..." She couldn't form the words to tell him why she was there, so she tried to show him instead.

"What? I'm here for you. You know I am." Before he could even prepare himself, she stepped closer to him and sealed her lips to his. He was warm to the touch, alive beneath her desperate hands and emotionally available. He was safe, she liked safe but she just didn't love it. He pushed her away gently, they both knew this was a bad idea. "Whoa, Resa are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I just want to feel."

"This isn't a good idea and you know it. You're in love with Patrick, even I can see that."

"You're in love with me, I thought you would want this." Lisbon knew she would hate herself for this later but she was so tired of being alone, she wanted one night to feel the warmth of someone pressed against her. To feel someone's hands and lips on every inch of her skin. She wanted one night to be loved.

"I'm not saying I don't but I refuse to have a one night stand with you when you're obviously upset about something."

"Christian..." She had told herself that she couldn't lead him on, that's why she'd said no when he asked her out and yet here she was practically begging him to make her forget. "I want to love you."

"But you don't, and you can't. I've come to terms with that and Patrick is a great guy. A little eh in the head but he's good and I'm sure I'd be a little nuts too if I lost a wife and daughter. Now I'm going to get you a glass of water and then we're going to sit and talk." She didn't give him the chance to move, she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed him again. She wasn't here to talk, she didn't want to. "Resa please....I'm gonna hate myself in the morning."

A few more tears slipped out as she cursed herself for doing this to him but she didn't stop. This time he gave in and kissed her back, it wasn't long until those kisses turned into something more.

*End*

To this day she hated what she had done to him. It wasn't even five days later and he was dead because of her too. The only good that had come from their one night together had been Arabella. The full of life toddler managed to make it seem a little less horrible that she'd thrown herself at him just because she knew he couldn't say no. She could never say that she wished it hadn't happened because then she wouldn't have her daughter. The whole situation had been one big mess and it wouldn't have been so bad if she wouldn't have left after he fell asleep and refused to talk to him for two days simply because she was busy hating herself.

Just thinking about it had a few lonely tears sliding down her cheeks. One huge misunderstanding with Jane had led to her shattering Christian's heart into a million pieces.

"Don't cry. I make better." Little hands wiped at her face as the door swung open and Nellie and Jane walked back in.

"Ready Ara? We got a busy night ahead of us." Lisbon was thankful that the tears were no longer visible as Nellie took the little one from her arms. "Tonight when you get home Teresa, I need to talk to you. It's really important."

"Okay. Just remind me when I walk through the door so I don't automatically crawl into bed."

"Love you Mum-mum." Lisbon kissed the top of her head and handed Nellie the diaper bag.

"I love you too sweetie." She couldn't begin to express how much but she knew wholeheartedly just wouldn't cut it. Watching as her daughter reached out to kiss Jane on the cheek while passing by, she smiled. That little girl was way braver than she could ever be. He returned her kiss and ruffled the waves on top of her head which effectively made the clip holding it out of her face fall to the floor.

"Didn't need that anyway did you Bunny? Seriously Lisbon she could choke on one of these or poke her eye out or...." Nellie was already out the door but she could hear his rant continue on as they made her way to the elevator.

"I swear that man is like an overprotective daddy with you."

"Daddy..." The whispering voice was so low that she barely heard it but a small smile graced her lips as she thought of what idea she had just accidentally placed in Ara's head.

Lisbon rolled her eyes at Jane's behavior and waved at Ara as Nellie waited on the elevator doors to open. She waved back and blew a kiss, giggling the whole time.

"Jane, she knows better and you know it."

"You're right I do but I figured it would get your mind off of whatever was making you cry." Sometimes she really hated that he knew her so well.

"I wasn't crying, and there's nothing to get my mind off...." Her ringing cell phone tore through the conversation, bringing it to a halt for the time being. "Lisbon..." It was Rigsby on the other end and her heart started going crazy. Hopefully there was a lead, and the nightmare was almost over.

"Boss, Jane was right the parents know who it is and they want to talk to you."

a/n: Okay, I'm three hours late with this. It was completely written and then I decided there were some parts I wanted to redo. Blame my perfectionism. I absolutely love writing this and hearing everyones thoughts on it...and of course next chapter will be up soon. Not much case in this one but that ending...leaves it open doesn't it? I threw some of my own pregnancy moments in this one, I craved chicken and candy the entire time I was pregnant with Ara. I didn't have weird cravings really except I would eat bread with just ketchup and I absolutely hate ketchup. I also didn't feel her kick until I was five months. Which bummed me out when I found out my brother's girlfriend felt her baby kicking at 18 weeks ;) ~ Rina