Sookie POV

I run.

I run like crazy to catch him before he gets too far away. I have to do this. I just have to. I crash into him, taking him by surprise. He holds onto me though, like he can't bear to let me go. He looks at me questioning my actions and I can't get over how cute he is up close. His dark blue eyes are like nothing I've ever seen. I feel like I'm under a spell when he looks at me. He could command me to do anything and I would, without a second thought. I can't look away from him. I move his glasses to get a better view of his eyes and don't want them get in the way when I kiss him. Oh yes. I will kiss him. I've wanted to kiss Eric since leaving him outside of my office door. I wouldn't admit that out loud as he did but, yeah…

I don't know what this means, where this will lead us, where I want it to lead us. I just want the here and now. I want the feel of his lips on mine, his hair wrapped in my fingers, his hands on my hips. I don't want to think, I just want to feel—him against me, in me, around me. I've been in need of some kind of contact for ages now that it's not fair to keep it from myself any longer. I miss Bill and I miss being connected with someone else. I can't for the life of me remember when I felt so alive just being held. The sense of touch is amazing. Knowing the difference between hard and soft, rough and smooth, tough and tender. I inhale Eric's scent and lose my calm.

Why hasn't he kissed me yet?

Eric doesn't move, he doesn't do anything. Then I realize—he's waiting for me. He wants me to be sure, he wants me to make the first move; he wants me. I'm frozen for a moment because I'm afraid of what I'm about to do, and the potential consequences of my actions make me hesitant. We haven't really talked about our feelings for one another. That would be my fault, of course. I shut Eric down whenever he mentions being something more, or not just being my friend.

I'm anxious.

I've worked so hard to maintain what I have with Bill—which is essentially a full-time long distance relationship—that I don't know if I would be able to be with Eric. I can do long distance. I can handle the phone calls once a week, the brief visits, even the 'hey honey I'm back for a month!' stuff. But seeing him every day, wanting to be with him every day? I'm not sure if I know how to do that anymore.

I would be willing to try with Eric. And again, I have no idea why I'm thinking about any of this. I'm with Bill. He loves me and he's faithful to me. He's just not around.

I lean in closer. Eric leans in closer. He angles his head and I shut off my internal monologue to kiss the gorgeous man in front of me. His lips are so soft, yet firm. Butterflies take flight in my stomach and I feel like a teenage girl with her first crush. Needing to catch my breath I pull back, but Eric doesn't let me get too far. He kisses me again and I know I'm in trouble. The brick wall against my back is not helping. I feel trapped but don't want to get away. I use the leverage of the wall to rub myself all over him.

I can't stop myself from pulling on his hair and the feel of his erection against my thigh wakes me up. I can't let this go any further. Bill is on his way here and if he was to walk up and see us like this? Well, it wouldn't be good.

I need to get away from Eric and think. I need to figure out what I want, and then go for it. I'll have dinner with Bill, we'll talk, and I'll tell him I kissed Eric. Okay, maybe I won't tell him that because he doesn't really need to know. I'll just tell him I'm having second thoughts about us. There really is no 'us' anymore. He's never here and that isn't my idea of a relationship—not a healthy one, anyway. He may get upset and try to talk me into giving him another chance, but I will hold firm. I will think of kissing Eric and how it felt and what I wanted to do to him after and I now I need to stop that train of thought. I'll go crazy just thinking about Eric again. I've got my plan; I just need to execute it. I can do this.

I am greeted by Tina at the door. She's pissed at me. She walks over to her bowl and sits down expectantly. I oblige her and set out her food. I fold my legs under me and sit on the couch to wait for Bill. We need to have our talk as soon as he gets here so I don't lose my nerve.

"Bill, we need to talk."

"Okay, sweetheart. But we should probably get going soon. I made reservations for us."

"No, we need to talk now. I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"This, Bill. Us. We're not us anymore. I barely see you, we don't talk but once a week and you're always so busy."

"You know how important my book is to me, Sookie. You can't expect me to just toss that aside to spend time with you!"

"Actually I can. You expect me to drop my friends for you! I had plans this evening, with a really great friend by the way. I would much rather be eating dinner with him than—"

"Him? Who are we talking about here?"

"It's not important." My attempts at sweeping my comment under the rug fail, miserably.

"Oh but I think it is. You've been spending time with some guy while I'm away? Are you cheating on me, Sookie?"

"No! Of course not. I wouldn't do that."

"Well, now I'm not so sure about that. This guy, this friend of yours—do you like him? More importantly, how does he feel about you?"

"I… I don't." I take a breath to calm myself. "That is not what this is about. This is about you and me."

"Let's not change the subject Little Miss Innocent. I knew something was up when I came to your office and you felt put out by me being there. You didn't want to have lunch with me. Aha! That, Eric guy. Is he who you were going to have dinner with tonight? Oh, that's rich. I've seen the way he looks at you, Sookie. He doesn't want to be friends. You're a smart enough girl to know that," Bill says coolly.

"And you're a smart enough douche, I mean guy, to know things are strained between us."

"Did you just call me a douche?"

"No. Listen, I really want you to understand what I'm saying here. We need to reevaluate our relationship." He walks over to me and sits beside me on the couch. He puts his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them soothingly.

"Sookie, sweetheart... I don't know what's gotten into you but I don't like it. Now, are you coming to dinner with me or not? I'd really like to spend tonight with you, but not arguing like this."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Bill."

"Eric, again?" I don't like sarcastic Bill.

"Why do you keep going back to him?"

"Because he's the only reason I can think of for you to behave this way. You were really disappointed you didn't get to have lunch with him and now you're telling me you'd rather have dinner with him, than me. How am I supposed to feel about that, Sookie?"

"I just told you, Bill, he's a friend. That's it. I'm not going to hop from you to him if that's what you're thinking. But I don't think you and I should be together anymore. We're just not in a good place and I'm not happy. I want to be happy. I don't feel I can do that with you because you're not here."

"So you want me to be home more? I can do that. Once I finish up this book tour I'll be around as much as you need."

"See, after you finish your book tour will I get what I need from you."

"That's not fair, Sookie. I can't just quit in the middle of my tour. There are people out there who expect to see me. I can't let them down."

"Right. Its okay, Bill. I understand completely. I'm not a priority and I should be used to it by now."

"Okay, I'll call Selah right now and cancel the rest of my tour. Is that what you want? Will that fix this?"

"It's not that simple, Bill."

"It is that simple. It's exactly that simple. Don't do this, Sookie. At least… at least give me a chance to prove to you I can be the man you want and need. Don't take yourself away from me because of this little hiccup."

I knew he would do this. I knew he would try to talk me out of my decision and I knew I'd have doubts. The one thing I am sure of is the way I felt when I kissed Eric, and I can't get it out of my mind. I just hope he's not too upset with me.

"It's not a 'little hiccup' you moron. That's exactly my point! You think everything is minor when it's usually major! I've made up my mind. I think we need to take a break."

"I don't agree."

"I don't really care whether you agree or not. This is how it is and you need to accept it."

"Well, I don't and I won't. I'm here now, Sookie. Be with me now."

"Why don't you go read your book? I think you need to brush up on not being a douche because you've been one for quite a while now."

"Now that hurts."

"I'm sorry, but it's true. Take our lunch for example. You made me cancel my plans, then we go to lunch and all you do is talk about your book. Not once did you ask about me, or my day, or anything relating to me. That's chapter two in your book. Maybe you should read it." Dickhead.

"I can see that you're angry and until you calm down, I won't continue this conversation. I'm going. I'll see you tomorrow."

He walks out the door before I can tell him not to bother showing up tomorrow. I guess I'll need to change my locks. I'm not sure why or how but I find myself sitting in my bedroom holding my phone. The beeps are a sure sign that I dialed a number. I must be on autopilot. The phone rings twice and then is answered. A husky, male voice comes through the earpiece and a smile makes a permanent home on my face.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Eric? Could you come over?"