A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so sorry for the very, very, very late update. I have been trying to write this chapter for months, but no matter how hard I tried, it just didn't feel right, and I was just stuck. I recently decided to erase everything I did and rewrite it again, differently, and it was a lot easier. I strayed a bit from the RWBY fandom so it's quite possible some of the characters are completely OoC (though it is normal on Weiss's side), sorry about that. Chapter has now been profread, but please tell me if you spot anything wrong, such a grammatical mistakes or typos. So, without further ado, here is this freaking chapter.

Chapter 6: Facing your fears

She left.

Nothing.

She walked away, trying her best not to seem hurt, knowing already that her plan had failed.

Nothing.

Her legs ached, but she worked them as fast as she could, distancing herself from the younger girl.

It's nothing, right?

She knew her leader could catch her to up in a breath, but the lack of footsteps behind her was enough proof that the poor girl was still standing there, speechless, not exactly knowing what happened. She knew she made a mistake, that she walked in a dangerous territory.

What if she has doubts now? What if she realizes I don't actually like Jaune? What if she knows?

She stopped for a few seconds, trying to catch her breath as fast as she could. She knew she was not ready to face her crush again. If she saw her face again, she would probably lose control of herself and regret the words that would inevitably force themselves out of her mouth.

Holding the fabric covering her chest firmly in her palm, hoping to steady her breathing, she entered the nearest café.

I need to think.

She absent-mindedly sat at a free table, which was not hard to find considering the few people present.

I can't let my emotions get the better of me again. I've messed things up enough as it is, I need to learn how to control myself.

She sighed.

It would be a lot easier if I'd just stop losing control every time I'm around her. It just keeps happening, I clearly can't think things through and I keep saying stupid things. This needs to stop. But I can't just stop seeing her… but how can I learn how to control myself? Do I have to get rid of my feelings for her?

She blushed slightly.

Mh, I don't think it's going to happen any time soon. Geez, when did my feelings grow so strong? What happened? Oh right, that hug…

"Miss?"

She jumped slightly on her chair, the return to reality a little too harsh for her. She saw a young waitress next to her, worry spread all over her facial features.

"Miss, may I take your order please?" she asked, presumably not for the first time.

"Oh, yes, thanks. I'd like a cappuccino please. I'll pay right away."

"Alright. I'll be right back."

Weiss nodded in recognition, muttering a small "thanks" she was not sure the waitress heard before departing. Weiss sighed again.

Alright. I like Ruby. That is certain. No need to think about this more than I already have.

She felt her heart beating considerably faster against her chest, as if to agree. She nodded to herself.

And… she believes I like Jaune. Which I don't understand. What would make her think, even for a split second, that I could like him? He has asked me out countless times already and I've always rejected him, though he doesn't seem to get the message. She said I was staring at him but… I didn't? Did I? I was wondering if she liked him, so it was quite possible I looked at him, but… I did look at her… a lot more… I think…

She saw a hand placing a cappuccino carefully in front of her, and she hurried to get the payment from her purse. Noticing the worried face of the waitress once again, she gave her some extra cash, as a silent "thank you" for actually caring. She nodded once again before the waitress left.

Should I be grateful that she believes I was staring at Jaune? That gives me a nice cover. She won't suspect that I actually have feelings for her. At least for a while. Blake seems to already have doubts, if she tells Yang, there is a good chance everyone will know.

She took a sip, judging the coffee too hot for her tongue and put it down, still deep in thought.

Frankly, I half-expected her to guess what my feelings were already, because of my lack of self-control. Was I expecting it or was I hoping for it? I can't tell. Ugh. Would it be such a bad thing if she knew? She doesn't even have a clue, is that because loving another girl is so unthinkable? Is it so uncommon and weird that she never even thought that I could possibly love another girl? I've been taught that homosexuality was wrong, but I've also been taught that Faunus were inferior to humankind, which mostly everyone seems to disagree with. What do people think of homosexuality here?

She looked at the waitress, who was busy serving another client. She stared for longer than she intended, questions floating in her mind.

Maybe she is gay too. Maybe she has a crush on a girl. Maybe she even has a girlfriend. That would mean her girlfriend also likes her, right? How would she manage to find another girl who likes girls?

Suddenly realizing her staring, she turned to her cappuccino again, taking another sip only to notice it turned lukewarm. Grimacing slightly, one question remained beside all the others.

Will I ever find someone?

She opened the door slowly, a part of her wishing she would be welcomed by loneliness.

I can't believe that just this morning I was trying to avoid being alone. What is wrong with me?

She was greeted by the sight of Ruby, sitting in her bed, holding a pillow tightly while appearing deep in thought. She brought her head back up when she heard the sound of someone coming in, and Weiss was met with silver eyes, staring back at her with shock, as if she were a ghost that never belonged there. She mentally scolded herself for making the little girl even more worried that she initially was, this image carving itself into her mind, unbeknownst to her. It took a great effort from her to snap back to reality and detach herself from those eyes. She gulped, painfully, trying to untangle the knot that formed in her throat, and she pushed the door a little wider, finally noticing they weren't alone.

"Weiss…" she heard Ruby whisper.

"It was about damn time." She turned her head to the source of the voice, Yang's.

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Weren't you supposed to go to the music school with my lil' sis?"

Losing total control of her eyes, they instantly looked up to said little sister. She noticed the death stare Ruby sent to her sister, trying to subtly silent her, but Weiss was quick enough to take her eyes away from her before Ruby saw her glancing. She didn't have to look to know that Blake wasn't as oblivious as Ruby was.

Either the blonde didn't see it or didn't care, no one knew. She opened her mouth, seemingly trying to show her disapproval, but she was instantly cut off by Ruby.

"It's alright! It's no big deal!"

If you really mean it, then why do you look so bothered? You've never been good at hiding your emotions...

Yang seemed surprised, her lips still parted but no sound coming out of it. Weiss also realized that Ruby's voice was way too high to be convincing.

I'm only making this situation worse, right?

Weiss sighed, walking up to her desk.

"Well, if that's alright, I'll…" she started.

"Wait! The afternoon is still not over, we should do something together!" The leader sputtered. "What about…"

For a brief second, she seemed to look for an actual idea.

"Are you going to suggest playing Protectors of Vale, again?" Blake quickly interrupted.

"Wow, Blake, you're a genius!"

Are you kidding me? Why is Blake on her side? Wait, since when are there 'sides'?

Blake sighed, putting her book aside while making sure she would not lose the page she was reading. It was obvious to everyone that this turn of event did not please her, but she seemed to reluctantly settle with it anyway.

"Wait, so we don't even have a say in this?" Weiss objected. She pointed at Blake. "I mean, it's obvious she doesn't want to play."

It seemed that the teammate she was pointing at tried to find anything to retort, but remained silent. Weiss kept wondering why she would put up with this plan in the first place, but Ruby was quick to interrupt.

"I know! If Blake doesn't want to play, we can invite Jaune instead!"

What?

She couldn't ignore the knowing grin covering her leader's smile.

No, this can't be good. No. No.

Blake seemed equally confused, and it didn't take long for Weiss to figure it had nothing to do with being out of the game. She silently hoped for anyone to object, but all of her teammates quickly nodded.

"But- wouldn't he be busy… training with Pyrrha? Or something?" she lamely tried.

"No, they train in the mornings! It's all right, Jaune loves to play with us!" Ruby answered.

"I have no time for this kind of childish-"

"You're just scared that we'll kick your butt again." Yang grinned.

"What! How dare you?"

"We know how hard it is to lose – well actually, we don't really, but how can you improve if you give up before trying?"

"Alright, I'll show you!"

I'll regret this. I know I'll regret this.

After Ruby went to fetch Jaune for a game that he obviously accepted with joy, the four of them went to the library, bringing along Ruby's favorite card games.

Something was off.

Ruby's overly cheerful attitude, the way her smile wavered, the way her hands shook when she grabbed the cards, and the way she glanced at her direction, trying to be subtle, even though everyone noticed.

They began playing in an awkward silence, sometimes interrupted by Ruby's attempts at bringing up the mood, yet even Jaune was not convinced. It took Weiss four turns into the game to realize that Ruby was going way too easy on her, which everyone seemed to notice as well. Jaune and Yang were mostly playing between themselves, making sure to never attack Weiss and create as much opportunities for her as they possibly could. Neither of them seemed to actually understand the situation, they were merely following the silent instructions that Ruby gave them. As time went by, they also began to send worried glances at Weiss, wondering why she was worth the special treatment.

She played along for a while, sighing heavily whenever her turn came, playing the cards Ruby knew she had. She effectively won within ten small minutes, to no one's surprise, not even hers.

They kept playing for a whole hour, but each battle was her victory, to the point she didn't even have to try anymore.

"Wow! You're really beating us, Weiss!" Ruby exclaimed, but her voice sounded so fake it almost hurt her ears.

The white-haired girl let out a small, sarcastic giggle, as she stared at the game that was so obviously a set up. Just like this whole situation.

You're not fooling anyone. This is stupid. What are you expecting from this, from me? Even if I did like Jaune, why would you expect this to work? Do you wish for me to be with Jaune so badly? What would you gain from this? Seriously, why?

She looked up from the game.

Bad mistake.

She saw Ruby's deflated expression. The only expression she could gather from her facial features was defeat, as if her mask fell, and she no longer had the strength to keep up the act, pretending that nothing was wrong and she would eventually make things right again, the role she was given as leader falling on her shoulders like a heavy burden once again.

There was no longer the wavering smile on her face that infuriated Weiss so much, but that she actually began to miss.

Why would you do this?

Her hands twitched slightly. She wanted to ignore the looks she was given, and just comfort the little girl.

She desperately wanted to get up, walk up to the girl and hold her close, telling her that she didn't have to do all this, that she didn't stand seeing her so powerless, that Jaune was not the one she liked... She wanted to tell her everything she had been holding in.

But she didn't have the strength to, and the desire developed in her like a burning flame, entirely consuming her.

She wanted to. She so desperately wanted to, and knowing that she could not was torture to her.

I'm so sorry.

Unexpectedly, Ruby's eyes lighted up again, a sudden idea merging into her mind, and Weiss knew before she even spoke that it would be a terrible one.

"I know! I'll go to the cafeteria to get you something to eat as a present!"

"Ruby, you really don't have to." She forced the words out of her throat, feeling as though some of them just remained stuck there, unable to convey her emotions properly.

She could sense that the two others were as surprised as she was, but she could see the relief on their faces.

"I want to do it! It's not every day that you win!" She scratched the back of her head, smiling sheepishly. "I'll just go! Yang, wanna come with me?"

Oh no.

"Em… Okay Rubes?"

The brawler didn't have much to question before Ruby just grabbed her arm and pulled her out of the library, waving at the two remaining as she closed the doors.

"Okay…" Jaune whispered, eyes wide.

Oh gosh… Why can't she give up sometimes?

She sighed heavily again, clearly showing her discontent.

"So… what's going on?"

"Nothing." She replied abruptly, not realizing what she had said until the words actually left her mouth.

She could hear Jaune gulping, unsure what to say now. Even she was surprised at how harsh her words sounded, so she could barely imagine how Jaune interpreted them.

Nothing. It's nothing. Isn't that what I told Ruby? Before I ran. I ran away. I'm not even strong enough to face my own emotions, pretending that nothing is there, and that's where it led us. Doing all this masquerade, pretending everything is fine, everything is normal, nothing is wrong. Nothing. 'Nothing' caused me to have feelings for Ruby, I ran away for 'nothing' and we're just here for 'nothing' as well. Wouldn't that be great?

"Err, so, maybe I should just go-"

"Actually, there is something."

She let out the words as fast as she possibly could, giving herself no choice. She created her own trap, preventing herself from running away this time, and forcing herself to go on and face the statement she herself made.

"Do you… want to talk about it, maybe?" He tried, almost as if he were afraid she would suddenly snap at him.

"Yes. I would very much like that." She looked around her briefly. "Could we go somewhere else please? I wouldn't want to bother anyone else here."

"Wouldn't Ruby and Yang worry?"

"They won't."

I'm pretty sure she already expects us to leave.

He nodded and got up. Without a word, Weiss followed his lead, walking him being him silently as he was leading her to who knows where.

Alright, it's time. Enough with the lies. I can't allow myself to make Ruby even more worried… it might be the worst decision I can make, but at least it's something. Something.

Jaune opened up the door leading to the roof and quickly checked the windows below them, making sure no one was listening on their conversations.

"So, what is it?" He said, trying to make his voice as soft as possible, as to not frighten the girl.

"You can't tell me you haven't noticed the atmosphere when we were at the library." She replied, almost exasperated.

"Yeah, what's up with that? It wasn't even a real game." He paused, realizing what he said. "No offense to you, I mean-"

"I know. Ruby", that name alone almost hurt, though she tried to ignore it, "was going easy on me."

She sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time this day, sitting on the extremity of the roof, her legs hovering over the emptiness as she pretended to stare at the horizon.

"This whole thing was a set up", she admitted.

"A… set up? What do you mean?"

"For some reason that I can't think of, Ruby is convinced that I have a thing for you." She didn't even give him time to reply. "Which is not the case. I can't conceive why she got this idea in mind."

She turned her face to him, knowing she had just break his heart in a few mere seconds.

"So I really have no chance? No matter how hard I try?"

She shook her head.

This is cruel. Why am I doing this? I could have spared him.

He sat next to her, adopting the same position, as it allowed him to avoid her eyes.

No. This is the only way he would understand… and the only way I can clean the mess that my head is in.

"Do you…"

She could feel her heart beating strongly against her chest, trying to break free from it, and for a second she almost feared that it would actually happen. She felt herself slipping into a mindless daze, her brain refusing to cooperate, and it actually took her a while to realize that her lungs stopped functioning. She had to consciously remind herself that she needed air before she released the breath she didn't even know she was holding.

She felt his eyes staring at her, burning into her soul, as if trying to understand the question she was so desperately trying to phrase. She knew he was waiting, and she knew that the moment she would actually gather up the courage to speak up, she would be vulnerable.

It was dangerous, so dangerous, and she was scared, terrified, but she knew it was a matter she had to deal with. She knew her mind would never leave her alone until she actually stopped running away to face her questions.

"Do you think it is wrong for a woman to like another?"

She saw it. She saw the shock on his face, his eyes widening a little more than usual, his lips parting, and she firmly believed she noticed him slightly distancing himself from her. But she had said it. Almost.

"What do you mean?"

Oh hell no, you're not going to make this even harder than it already is!

"You know what I mean."

He didn't reply, staring off into the distance once again. She wasn't sure whether he was looking for an answer himself, or if he had already given up on helping her. She could almost feel a hand breaking through her, grabbing her heart and pressing it torturously slowly. Her eyes burned slightly, forcing her eyelids to close a few times to repress the tears she knew were only waiting to come out.

Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down.

She took a deep breath and placed one of her hand near her chest, massaging it roughly, trying to soothe the pain in her chest and regain control of her emotions.

Can a heart be turned to stone?

She pressed her lips firmly together and discretely passed her tongue over them.

"I grew up with the idea that the only possible way to live was to find a rich man, marry him, conceive an heir and bring pride to the Weiss family", she continued. "While being a tool to my family has bothered me for as long as I can remember, there are things I only began to question when I joined this school and met different people."

She paused, taking another deep breath. One particular light in the distance seemed to peak her interest, and she continued to stare at it.

"I thought Faunus were inferior to humans. I thought they were beasts, whose only skills were to steal, murder, destroy. Coming here proved me wrong. But there are things that I can't just figure out that easily, and I just can't wait until I actually meet another person who likes the same gender before I can actually see what people think of it."

"Another person, uh."

She glanced at him instinctively, shocked to hear his voice, and even more shocked that he noticed her little slip up.

No, that wasn't a slip up.

She turned away, a blush gradually claiming territory over her cheek despite her attempt at concealing it.

"Another person."

He got off the small fence, turning his back to her and stretching his arms above his head before letting them fall against his sides. For a second, she thought he was going to leave, leave her alone there, with her troubled mind.

"To be frank", he spoke up, slightly startling her again, "I've never met someone like that. I mean, uh, someone who likes the same gender. But I don't exactly see why it would be wrong. I mean, a boy or a girl, it's still love, right? It's not like you really have a choice when it comes to who you fall for. Well, I'm pretty sure some people would have something to say against it, but they always do anyway. My mom always says that 'only you can tell what you are really worth', and that 'you shouldn't let anybody dictate your life', or something like that."

The hand pressing her heart seemed to magically fade away, or at least she couldn't feel it anymore. Despite having a hard time regaining a steady breathing, she could only feel relieved, safe, as if the cruel remarks she expected were in fact replaced by the kindness and comprehension she was so desperately looking for.

"So it's up to you", he turned to face her. "Do you think it's wrong?"

A single tear escaped from her eye, thankfully opposite to Jaune, and she wiped it away, pretending to scratch her cheek.

"No, I don't think it is", she said, and was ashamed when she heard a sniff coming out of her despite herself.

"Then it's alright. You don't have to listen to those who disagree."

If only I could.

She got up as well, stepping in front of Jaune, trying to look at him, even though the revelation she just announced made it difficult for her to do so.

"Thank you. For listening to me. And for… everything you said."

"Hug?" he proposed.

"No thanks."

"Aww, too bad."

She let out a small giggle, suddenly coming with the realization she had been smiling for who knows how long.

"Hopefully you will stop showing up at the dorms with a guitar to sing stupid songs."

"Hey, that's harsh!" he laughed anyway. "But don't worry. I understand. I never actually expected you to like Ruby, but I guess there is nothing I can do about it, except movin-"

"Wait, what did you just say?"

Crap. He knows.

"That… you like Ruby? Did I guess wrong? Or is it Blake? Since you made up and all maybe-"

"No, no, no, it's not Blake." She paused, biting her lower lip, suddenly finding the floor so very interesting.

"So it is Ruby."

She nodded.

That's it. He knows. Everything.

"Well, she's really cool. I don't know if she cares about anything else than weapons when it comes to romance but… I can say that she really cares about you."

She lifted up her head, more interested in what he had to say than in the lacing of her shoe.

"She tried to set us up, right? But if that's all she wanted, she wouldn't have played for a whole hour. She would have left after one game, instead of actually playing with us and going easy on you. It was so obvious she wanted to cheer you up, and why would she do that if not because she cares?"

"Caring and loving are two different things."

"What I mean is… even if she learned about your feelings and didn't return them", Weiss winced at the idea, "she would never turn her back on you because of it. Not only because she's kind, but because she does care, so you don't have to be afraid."

"I'm not afraid!"

He smiled knowingly.

"It takes a lot of courage to express your feelings."