There were very few things that could bring Nepeta's mind fully into the real world, leaving no space for the dream one that protected her psyche. This was one of them.

"So I heard (hah) that you ran into (hnn!) Gamzee last night?"

"Yeah (aah!), so?"

"It's just-"

"Out!"

Nepeta bounced on her heels with a grin, twirling her racket before striking a victory pose. Across the court Equius scowled.

"This ball is too light." He complained, wiping the sweat from his brow. "It flies all over the place!"

"It's because you're using too much strength! You've got to learn to control it. That's kinda the whole point, silly." Nepeta giggled, bending to retrieve the wayward tennis ball. "Tennis is about placing the ball in just the right place at just the right time at just the right speed. Not just hitting it as hard as you can all willy-nilly."

"It's a stupid game." Equius was still scowling even as his friend bounced over to him and gave him a playful pat on the back.

"You're just mad because now you have to buy ice cream." She grinned.

It wasn't until they were sitting on a bench next to the ice cream cart that Equius brought up the topic again.

"Look, Nep. Just... Stay away from Gamzee." He adjusted his sunglasses, raising an eyebrow as she got chocolate syrup on the tip of her nose. "You of all people should know that."

"I know... But, I mean, so far he's been really nice." Nepeta stuck out her tongue, trying to maneuver it to clean her nose. "Creepy and kinda out of it, but nice."

"That doesn't matter. It probably means he's playing some sort of game..." Equius sighed and wiped the chocolate away with a napkin. "You can't trust him."

"...Yeah." She took another lick.

"Nepeta! Holy cow!"

She blinked at the voice, glancing up to see Tavros wheeling over with Vriska close behind. Tavros grinned as he skidded to a stop. "I never could tell under your, uh, hoodie and jeans, but you're, uh, kinda ripped!"

Blushing faintly, Nepeta managed a laugh. It was true; she normally wore baggy clothing to hide the body she felt so uncomfortable about, but in her tank top and shorts there wasn't much to hide. She wasn't muscular, not like Equius, but her body was toned and fit from their almost daily work outs.

"And stacked. What are those, a double D?" Vriska purred, lips curled into a smirk.

Her blush deepening, Nepeta crossed her arms across her chest even though she knew that was just the reaction Vriska wanted. They weren't that big, but her slender frame made her chest appear larger.

"Vriska! Be nice!" Tavros reprimanded as he came to his friend's defense. "Nepeta, I think you, uhh, look great!"

"Th-thanks." Nepeta muttered.

Equius frowned at Vriska. "You must be very insecure about your own body to criticize someone else's."

"Does it look like I have self esteem issues?" Vriska smirked as she jutted a hip forward and arced her back confidently.

Tavros rolled closer to Nepeta as an argument brewed between their friends, lowering his voice slightly. "Hey. Wanna meet up at the library later and work on that, uhh, assignment?"

Nepeta nodded before turning her attention back to keeping Equius calm; it was a tough job being best friends with someone with a short fuse...

"Who's there?" She called out, raising her sword in challenge.

"P-Please. Do not strike me."

It was a pathetic creature, a crude facsimile of the human form. Its limbs were too long and its torso emaciated; when it spoke its voice was a long, pained hiss. A clawed hand gripped at its tattered shroud as it crawled forward slightly. "Please..."

"What are you?"

"I am-"

"...a stapler."

Wait.

Shaking her head slightly, Nepeta forced herself back to the present which involved no sword or endless stairs. Tavros was frowning down at his assignment sheet, bottom lip caught in his teeth.

"I mean, inanimate objects are inanimate for, uhh, a reason. They don't have feelings or anything. How are we supposed to write, uhh, from their point of view?" He lamented, looking up at Nepeta pleadingly.

"Well..." Professor Lalonde had looked rather mischievous when she gave them the assignment; then again, she had an impish look about her when taking roll call as well. "I think its like... Well, like with a stapler. Every time someone uses it, it gives away a piece of itself which could be sad, but it knows that the piece of itself it gave away is being used to hold something else together. Maybe something important, like a... I don't know, the release statement for an innocent man to get out of prison or something... So the stapler feels this sense of pride, right?..."

She trailed off as she caught Tavros staring at her. "What?"

"Nothing! That's just, uhh... Really good." He grinned. "You're a natural at this!"

"It's nothing special..." But Nepeta couldn't help beaming with pride at the compliment.

"I don't see why you feel like you have to hide it from people..."

"Hide what?"

They both jumped as Eridan rounded the corner of the nearest stack, his arms filled with books of art history. Mentally Nepeta made a note to do the same; Professor Strider had said they had to mimic someone's style in their own drawing for the next class. Apparently Eridan had no idea who he was going to copy either.

"Hide... my love of rugby. It's kind of an odd sport to be a fan of. Being American and all." She bunted, doing her best not to wince. Rugby? Really?

"Huh." Eridan raised an eyebrow. "It's not that weird. I'm a fan myself, you know."

Of course he was. Nepeta could feel her mind scrabbling; what the hell did she know about rugby? Thankfully Eridan didn't seem to be looking for a long conversation.

"We should watch the match on Saturday over at my place. I'll talk to you about it in class, okay?" With that hanging in the air he strode off, leaving Nepeta to thank God and all His angels that he hadn't pressed the subject.

"...Rugby?" Tavros' lips quivered with a repressed laugh.

"Shut up." Nepeta rolled her eyes.

"But really. Why, uh, do you want to keep it a secret so much? I mean, I don't tell people about the playwriting and acting because it's not very, uhh, masculine, but creative writing..."

"...It's a long and kinda silly story." She shrugged. "But thanks for not telling anyone."

"Of course! That's what friends are for! ...Now explain to me the, uhh, stapler again?"

Author's Note: Man. I can't even tell you how much I love you people for reading this so diligently. It does wonders for my self esteem to know that people are enjoying the crazy ramblings that my mind spews forth. At any rate, just... thanks. All of you. Lots of hearts and puppies and such!