WARNING: THIS WILL CONTAIN MILD LANGUAGE(nothing typical teenagers haven't heard) AND YAOI. ZEMYX AKUROKU SORIKU AND ANY OTHER PAIRING THAT MY MIND MIGHT SPONTAINOUSLY COME UP WITH. MENTIONS OF RELATIONSHIP ABUSE. IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE IS IN AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP PLEASE CONTACT THE LOCAL POLICE AND GET HELP. SOME BLOODY SCENES, BUT NOTHING TOO EXTREAM…I HOPE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own an ounce of Kingdom Hearts…or the songs that appear…or anything that looks like it can't be owned by a typical high-schooler. Cookies to those who can figure out where the title came from or any of the songs that I might put up with this, and surprise, surprise I don't own the title…or any other songs that might appear through out this chapter or any other chapters.
A/N: Odd to see an authors note in the beginning huh? Well this is sorta like a warning but not really. This chapter is not for the faint of heart. There are some scary scenes and I am considering changing the rating to a higher one. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
Chapter six:
Tell me why we have to cry
And not try
Why did I leave? Possibly my one and only chance to spend the night with Demyx Lynchaster. Why did I have to throw that chance away?
Deep inside I already knew the answer…I'm not ready. The thing with Lexaeus is still to recent for me. I need time to get better, if I could ever. It would just about kill me if I were just a toy to be played with again. I would probably succeed in killing myself this time.
I get to my shared apartment and chuck my clothes to the other side of the room in a rage.
Roxas pokes his head out of the bathroom, "What's wrong?"
I'm guessing that he had just gotten out of the shower because his normally spiky hair was plastered to his face. "No-nothing," I quietly sniffle.
"Oh, baby, whats wrong?" Roxas asks coming out of the bathroom, with only a white bath towel around his waist, calling me his pet name.
I shake my head saying nothing. Roxas knows me enough to not ask again. He just holds my head to his chest and attempts to calm me downs. I whimper, having a shitty flashback from back when Lexaeus had become an alcoholic and an addict. My flashbacks come every other month and when they come, they hit me hard like the very first time it happened. No matter how hard I try to forget it always comes back. His "sshh's" do nothing to calm me down.
Lexaeus walks into our shared apartment, staggering. Drunk again.
I'm in the kitchen making food when Lexaeus walks in. "H-heeeeeeey bayybeey. What's uup?"
I ignore him. I remember reading somewhere that ignoring drunks was best. Or maybe that was for stoned people….
"Stop ignor-noring me!" I continue my vow of silence.
"I said STOP IGNORING ME!" Lexaeus takes the cleaver out of my hand and holds if up to my throat. "There now, gotcha attention."
His face is close to mine and smells rank, of whiskey and gin.
"Now my little Zex you have to be punished for being bad and ignoring me."
He puts pressure on the cleaver and I feel a small bead of blood roll down. My body begins to shake violently. I always knew that my death would be an unpleasant one, but I don't want to end like this. Not in the hands of someone I loved.
The telephone rings and I know that I've been saved a few more moments in life before I go.
"Pick it up!" Lexaeus growls.
I do his bidding. I beg that its someone that knows the words. The words are words that I made up just in case something like this ever happened.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Hey Zexion! What's up? How've you been?"
I give a small sigh of relief. It was my newfound friend Roxas. I had told him the words last week. I just hope that he remembers them.
"No, I don't have any fresh eggs." I say, beginning to say my words.
"The hell?! What are you talking about?" Roxas says, and my hope almost sinks. Please, God, let him remember the words.
"Why? Because my chicken was killed with a CLEAVER."
"The fuc- Oh my God. No. Please tell me that the time hasn't come for tha-"
"Yes, I don't advise you to go to the store for fresh eggs."
"…okay. I'll be there with the police in a couple of minutes. Just try to hold on until I get there."
"Thank you." I say truly grateful, and I hang up.
"Now, where were we?" My severely intoxicated boyfriend says.
I shudder a bit, fearful of what might happen in the time that Roxas has to get the police and now.
"I think I'll begin with putting a little scar on this back." And with that, Lexaeus slams the cleaver onto my back, making the blade sink deep into my flesh.
I feel nothing. No pain, no agony, no hurt. I just feel hot blood gushes down my back as I fall to the floor. My face hit's the floor possibly breaking my nose, but, the strange thing, is that I feel nothing. The pain that I should be feeling is…just…numbed. I can't feel anything. Just burning hot blood.
Lexaeus stands over me, kicking my ribs and head…but I can't feel anything. I try to scream but all that comes up is blood. I start coughing up blood and my eyes begin to slide closed.
Damn…this must really be the end for me.
Its over now I guess it really is my time. I don't wanna go but it's time I gotta say goodbye. I'm slowing down and I don't think that I can fight…I don't wanna die I don't know why this kinda fate was meant for me.
Where are you Roxas? I need you…
There's nothing left to do. Now that I am on to you, all I want to know is the truth. And I don't want to go but I feel like I should.
My breath is coming in gasps.
Is this beginning or ending? Am I stuck in a dream? I don't want to know what I think I suppose…
My body is jerking in spasms.
I don't believe that you can make all the pain go away so I'll leave it all behind.
I am now fighting for every breath, for every last bit of oxygen that I can get, but my body is somehow rejecting my efforts to save myself. I jerk one last time and I take what I believed was my last breath and I stopped trying.
I'm sorry Roxas, for bothering you to get the police, I'm not going to be alive anymore so your efforts were futile and all you'll get for your hard work is a dead body…
My mind goes blank.
The next piece of memory that I remember is waking up in a hospital with Roxas asleep in a chair next to me. I had been out for fifty-nine days. Later I found out that if I had been on life-support for much longer, they would've pulled the plug and used it for someone else they thought it would revive.
"Baby, its over, its over. Shh, shh. Baby, that time is over. He's gone now, he won't ever get you. That bastard will never get you, I promise. Shh, its okay now. Shh." Roxas is stroking my hair methodically as I quiet down in my sniffles and cries.
I cling to him as if he were the only thing keeping me on earth.
"Wanna talk about it?" he asks.
I shake my head. Not yet.
"Okay, baby, when you're ready, I'll be right here. I'll always be here. My poor sweet baby boy crying over that bastard son of a bitch…shh. It's all over now, shh…"
Roxas' comforting makes me feel tons better. He makes me feel wanted and loved. He makes me feel…happy. Not many people can do that to me. I'm lucky to have someone that cares this much about me.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. I ignore it, sniffling in my own pity. A few minutes later it vibrates again. And again. And again. I keep ignoring it. I'm not in the mood to text anyone, hell, I don't even want
Roxas to be here with me but he lives here and is the only person that can make me feel better. The only person that knows my whole past. The only person who has ever made me feel truly happy…Demyx doesn't count since I've only met him recently and he could turn out to be a psychopathic killer on the loose. Without Roxas I don't know how I would have lived my life if he weren't in it. I don't know if I would still be alive or not.
My cell vibrates again…and continues to do so. I let it sit for a few minutes on my lap before figuring out that the caller wasn't going to hang up until I pick up. I grunt and open it.
"Beeeeeeeeeeeeppp…." is all I hear. Grr. Just at the same moment I decided to answer, the caller decides to hang up.
I sigh and thump m y head on Roxas' chest.
"Who was it?" He asks.
"I don't know. Don't care." I grunt back.
"Stop acting like a child and answer whoever is trying to desperately get to you."
"I don't wanna!" I say, with a childlike pouting face.
"You better, or I'll take your cell and look through all your messages!"
I grumble and look at my missed call, my voicemail, and the thirteen messages. All of them from Demyx.
I close my phone. "Happy now?"
"No. now check all the messages and see what he wants."
"But I don't wanna!"
"You will or I shall drop you cell into viniger oil. Then I'll throw it into a blender, cook it in the oven, then feed it to you for breakfast."
"That's a cruel and unusual punishment."
"I will do that if you do not check your messages AND text back!"
"Why the hell do I HAVE to?"
"Because I'm skipping work to comfort you and if you dexide to be a whiney and uncooperative bitch I'll leave to work and take your cell phone with me!"
I pout. "Why do you have to be so cruel to me?"
Roxas smiles sweetly. "Baby, its because I care a lot for you."
"Then you shouldn't be so cruel."
"I have to or else nothing would ever get done."
That is true. I would be a lazy pig for all that was worth if Roxas wasn't there to nag at me to do stuff.
"…at least try and be 'nice' once in a while!"
"Oh, so you're saying that I'm not nice?"
"No, I am just implying that you should try it once in a while."
"What are you smoking? I'm always nice. Hey! Don't try and change the subject! Now go check your messages!"
Damn. I though I was going to get away from it with my ill-thought-out plan.
I grumble, still in his arms, and begin to check the texts that I had gotten.
'I'm sory! I shouldn't hav don that…im a idiot.' was what most of Demyxs' texts looked like. The only difference is that they get more and more depressing as you go farther down the list of texts.
I roll my eyes. Over dramatic much? Sure it may be mean but isn't it me that's supposed to be over dramatic because of my past? I sigh. Now all that is left is to listen to my voicemail.
"-an't. Why Larxene? He probably hates me now… Oh, its in voicemail now…" Its Demyx, but in a way it isn't him. He sounds down. Sad. Depressed. Gloomy. None of those words sound like synonyms to Demyx. Demyx should be the synonym of happy, eager, ecstatic, and cheery. "Umm…well, it's Demyx. I'm sorry for trying to push you into doing something you didn't want. I won't blame you if you hate me with passion. I'm sorry that I was a jerk. I-just text me back once that you're alright and I won't bother you ever again. Please, I have…have to know if you are okay."
Why would I hate Demyx? Why would he think that? His voice sounds so lifeless. So…dead. As if his only motivation in life died out. I have to call Demyx back before he gets more…dare I say? …depressed.
But…I don't really want to call him…
"…So…do you want to talk about what happened now?" Roxas interrupts my thinking.
"Do you reeeeeeally want to know? As in really?" I ask.
"Ohmigawd! DID DEMYX RAPE YOU?!"
"What! Hell no! I carry my pepper spray with me! I'm not a fool. At least not anymore."
"So tell me," Roxas says, serious, "what happened between you and Demyx to make your flashback come this strong?"
"…"
"Tell me damnit! I need to know how I can help. You know that I hate feeling useless, baby."
"Nothing. We were just kissing, he pushed me up against the wall, took off my shirt and that's it. I guess that the roughness of it all just made me remember."
"You sure? You absolutely positive that he didn't hit you or say anything that the other would say?"
"No! He would never do that…he's too kind for that."
"But does he know about…?"
"No…well a little. But he doesn't really know."
"You know you should tell him soon so something like this doesn't happen again!"
"But if he knows everything then he'll pity me and I don't want anyone's pity. I hate pity. If he pitied me he would treat me differently…he'd treat me more 'gently' than others. I don't want that! I want to be treated like a normal person…not like some abusive survivor freak." I say, fingering the scar that was left behind from my ex's attack. "it makes me feel fucking weak, like I asked for it."
"What the hell? You are anything BUT weal! You took so much shit. I think that Demyx would love you even more knowing that he is with a survivor."
"…I'm not sure if its 'love'…"
"Why not?"
"Well, for one, what would Demyx be doing with a nobody like me? What IS he doing with someone like me right now? I think I'm just being played with right now… hell I don't even have good looks or anything special that makes me stand out. I'm just extra ordinary not like Demyx who is extraordinary."
"You do have something…" Roxas says, a faint blush across his face.
"Oh yeah?! Like what!" I demand.
"Well, you're cute, smart, funny, a big smart ass, and most of all you care a lot for people."
"But that's nothing compared to Demyx…"
"Yes it is and more."
"How would you know?"
"I-err-just-umm-hey, don't you have an essay due tomorrow in English?"
"Damn it! You're right! And its supposed to be five pages! Ahhh!" I run around frantically looking for my messenger bag , which has all of my papers from college in it. I embark in my hopeless journey to find my paper in the mess of a room that Roxas and I share.
.
.
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A/N: I have no idea where I am going in this but the rating might go up. I just hope you readers are all mature for it XD. Well…I have a you tube channel O.o I dunno how but I do. I'm thinking of posting up a vlog but idk. Haha. Oh and if my sentences go off topic a lot on the A/Ns it just means that I am very sleep deprived and maybe a little drugged up…I'm sick so I gotta take all kinds of pills. Even a red one that tastes like candy! :D Oh, I'm running out of good music to listen to so if anyone could recommend me some bands I'd be super happy ^-^
There are some song lyrics in this chapter! You just gotta find 'em like a scavenger hunt! XD one hint is that its in between Zexions shitty flashback. And there's a lot of songs in it…I think o.o
On a completely unrelated note (has anything that I've said been related?) I'm really wanting a lip ring O.o idk why but it just seems cool to me right now. Welp I've got 3 years to think about it :S
Please review and tell me how to make my story better :D !
Cookies: for those who know the songs and/or the band, or persons that sing it. (even though there was only one song in this chapter ^-^;;; sorry for that.)
COOKIE CORNER:
Sora93kairi
Erstine
Imea
THANK YOU FOR REVIEWING! It makes me feel…I guess you could say happy. I don't need to use a Happy Machine anymore ^-^