-6- Helplessly In Love
"Do I know you?" Amu repeated staring at Nadeshiko. "You just said my name…"
Nadeshiko gazed back at Amu, "of course I know you. Why else would I say your name…Amu…what's going on?"
"We were friends?" Amu continued to ask, somehow feeling quite nervous but excited at the same time. This woman just may be the key to her learning her past and identity.
"My name is Nadeshiko Fujisaki," Nadeshiko slowly said, taking note of Amu's expression and body language carefully. "You don't remember me? We know each other."
"Who was I?" Amu pressed, a million questions piling up. This person, Nadeshiko knew her in the past; she can finally know who she was, how she and Ikuto were like, everything. Amu grabbed hold of Nadeshiko, staring her in the eyes, "please, please tell me everything you know about me. I really want to know who I am."
Nadeshiko played along with Amu, "I'll tell you so calm down but first… you need to tell me what's happened to you? Why are you acting so weird?"
"I-I don't really know," Amu answered truthfully, "I have no memories before I woke up in the hospital. I can't seem to remember anything; my name, where I was from, who I knew or even the things I liked. I'm blank, about myself, the past, everything. So…what I'm trying to say is I apologise if I've forgotten you Nadeshiko, about us." Amu paused to take a breath, "but you know, I must be really lucky to meet you here. I didn't think I could meet someone who knows me from the past, I mean who knows me." The more Amu talked, the more excited she became, "wait, you must know Ikuto right? He's my husband, I mean I've been dating him for a long time and we were engaged before I lost my memories. If you know me then you must know Ikuto too right. We can go to the restaurant and meet with him. I'm sure he'll be delighted to see you too."
Nadeshiko allowed an excited Amu pull her out the room towards the elevator, her mind as blank as Amu's memories. Impossible, Nadeshiko kept chanting over and over to herself, she's not acting. Her body language, the way she speaks, those innocent look in her eyes, they're all too real to be fake. Then it means…Amu really has lost all her memories…her identity and connection to the family…this is insane…just what on earth happened to you…
They entered the elevator and Amu pressed the button. The door closed, only them inside the small moving metal box. Nadeshiko took deep breaths to calm down; she was tempted to break a wall right now. She closed her eyes and thought hard, from what Amu had blurted to her, she could somewhat deduce some parts of what had happened. First, Amu mentioned hospital, meaning Amu must've been involved in some accident, a severe injury to her head perhaps, one that caused her to lose her memories. This part of the story wasn't hard for someone like Nadeshiko to deduce. Since Lulu and the rest of the family claimed Amu went missing, there is the possibility that Amu wasn't in an accident in Hong Kong. With the influence of their family, it seemed unlikely that no one was able to find Amu in a hospital during the time she stayed in one. Nevertheless, at the moment, what worried Nadeshiko wasn't where Amu stayed or what accident she got in, the part that involved the guy called Ikuto was the main problem. Amu kept referring to him as her husband. If Nadeshiko's guess was correct, then Ikuto must be the guy she met at the airport, but she had never seen him before. Furthermore, Amu was already engaged to her lover. "Where does this guy fit in? I don't get his intentions…" Nadeshiko muttered.
The elevator stopped moving and the doors opened up to the ground floor, the lobby of the hotel and they stepped out.
"I'm sorry if I'm being too pushy about things but I really want to know more about the past," Amu continued, "I want to get closer to Ikuto if possible, if even a little…"
"Wait Amu," Nadeshiko said, stopping in the middle of the lobby. "I need to be clear with you here. The one I know is you and you alone. I have no idea who the guy you call your husband is."
Amu blinked at Nadeshiko not knowing what to say. "You don't know Ikuto but you know me?"
"I know who you are Amu, but I've not a clue who Ikuto is," Nadeshiko repeated clearly.
Amu looked away from Nadeshiko for a moment, not really understanding what was going on. What Nadeshiko was claiming simply didn't make any sense to her. "Does this mean you're like my childhood friend or something?" Amu questioned, trying to think up of a plausible theory to why Nadeshiko would know her but not Ikuto. "Perhaps we weren't very close."
"Is that what you believe?" Nadeshiko asked, "If we weren't close, why do you reckon I'd sneak into your room to find you. Why am I talking to you now? Don't you reckon I'd have better things to do than talk to someone I know but am not close to."
"Then.…"
"Don't try to think, because whatever you come up with Amu," Nadeshiko warned, "nothing will ever make sense if you choose to believe that man you call your husband." She dragged Amu to the side, not wanting to block anyone's way or stand like a statue in the centre of the massive room. She felt Amu's uncertainty, realising this was her best chance to try and get Amu to believe her. Nadeshiko quickly took out her wallet and showed Amu the photo inside. "Look at this picture," Nadeshiko pressed, "This is you and me. We know each other; I'm not lying and look at us in the photo. It's recent."
Amu stared at the photo of her and Nadeshiko together; she can't deny that it was definitely them and she can't deny from the way they smiled that they were indeed very close. Slowly, Amu stroked her fingers over the photo, trying hard to remember but nothing came to mind as she stared blankly at the picture. If Nadeshiko wasn't lying then what does it mean about Ikuto….Amu wondered, Ikuto would not lie to me. I believe Ikuto; I'm not going to doubt him. "A photo doesn't mean much," Amu slowly began, "I understand we know each other. We were probably close friends or something but I don't feel or remember anything looking at the photo."
"Of course you don't, you bloody went and got yourself amnesia," Nadeshiko said slightly more loudly than she intended to. "I'm sorry. Look Amu I… you suddenly went missing for a while and I was worried about you. Please understand that I care about you and I'm someone you can trust."
"I know, I understand," Amu struggled now, feeling very pressured and confused at the same time.
"You need to face this Amu," Nadeshiko continued, ignoring Amu's discomfort, "I am someone you can trust. When I tell you I don't know who Ikuto is, it means you don't either, because until now, we have never been apart."
Amu shook her head, covering her ears with her hands now. She felt Nadeshiko grasp her arms and she instinctively pushed her away. So what, there's a photo to prove Nadeshiko's words, to back up her story that they were close friends. So what, that the photo showed they were together recently, it still didn't make sense. Ikuto would not lie to her, there had to be a missing explanation to all this.
"Amu, stop denying…"
"I don't even know you," Amu finally said. "Right now I'm blank. I don't know you. How would I know if you were lying to me? Even if you aren't, there's also the possibility that I lied to you." Amu breathed, looking Nadeshiko straight in the eyes, "There's a possibility that I could've been secretly dating Ikuto and never told you even if we were close friends. Maybe we weren't as close as you believe us to have been."
There was a few minutes silence as they looked at each other. Your wrong Amu, Nadeshiko wanted to badly say but kept it to herself, you couldn't have possibly been secretly dating whoever Ikuto is because you were already engaged to the person you love.
"I trust Ikuto. I trust him more than I do you," Amu said truthfully, "Right now, Ikuto is my everything. If having a past and memory would mean I lose Ikuto then I much rather not know anything at all."
Nadeshiko's eyes widened, unable to quite accept what she was seeing or hearing; she sensed no hesitation in Amu, her words were firm, clear and so determined, it scared Nadeshiko. She really is truly in love with that Ikuto guy…its real…but how could this have happened, in such a short amount of time….
Amu smiled softly, her expression that of an apology towards Nadeshiko, "I love Ikuto. I trust him as much as I love him. That is something I decided before marrying Ikuto. It's a decision I won't regret or change." That's right, Amu thought, I'm clear on what I believe. She won't be affected by Nadeshiko anymore. She was going to stay true to her feelings and love for Ikuto, what she had now. She suddenly remembered how Ikuto had gotten mad at her for trying to regain her memories a while back. Now, she finally understood what Ikuto meant, the past didn't matter if they had a future together. The present and what was to come was more important.
Nadeshiko felt her chest squeeze tight together, suffocating from how helpless she was, realising that Amu would only suffer once the truth was revealed and she wouldn't be able to lessen that pain. There was no other choice though, as much as Nadeshiko wished for Amu to be an ordinary girl and live life happily, perhaps as she is now, innocent, in love and content with the happiness she is feeling in the present as Ikuto's wife. However, even if it was cruel, Nadeshiko needed to snap Amu out of this fake world. "One chance," Nadeshiko said, knowing precisely what it was she needed to do. "Please give me one chance to prove to you that I'm telling the truth. If in the end, after my chance, I still couldn't convince you that Ikuto is the one lying to you then I promise to give up and leave you alone forever. In the process, I guarantee I won't hurt anyone. So give me the chance I deserve."
Amu looked at Nadeshiko, her heart sinking for she knew she couldn't decline her. She had no reason to. She had faith in Ikuto and that was all that mattered. "One chance," Amu whispered, "please keep your word."
Nadeshiko nodded and couldn't help but let out a sigh. This wasn't going to be easy.
Inside the hotel's restaurant, Ikuto finished his coffee and Kukai simply laughed.
"Ikuto, this will be the biggest gamble you have ever made in your life so far," Kukai said as he stopped laughing, "but there's no stopping you once you've made up your mind."
"Biggest gamble," Ikuto mused, "my life is the biggest gamble I am playing right now."
Kukai smiled at Ikuto's reasoning. His master and best friend was a true demon after all. "So, what are you going to say if Kazuomi questions you?"
"Have you forgotten Utau is at home, we can make small arrangements," Ikuto said, "more importantly we need to prepare ourselves to negotiate with them."
Kukai nodded, looking up behind Ikuto and surprised to see Amu walking towards them with another woman. "Mistress," he greeted, not forgetting his servant status. Kukai stood up, pulled his chair out and motioned for Amu to sit down opposite Ikuto, which she did.
"I thought I told you to wait in the room," Ikuto said, sounding a little annoyed. "Did you not understand what I asked of you?"
Nadeshiko clenched her fists tightly and hissed, glaring at Ikuto. How dare he talk to Amu like that…Who does he think he is?
"What are you doing here bitch, there's no taxi for you to ride," Ikuto hissed back, returning the glare to Nadeshiko as soon as he noticed her presence.
Kukai took note of the hostility between Ikuto and this woman; seemed like they weren't on very good terms. However, not knowing the situation, he didn't want to take any unnecessary actions. He stayed quiet and observed.
"Ikuto, it's actually like this," Amu slowly began, knowing what she was about to say might anger Ikuto. But she promised Nadeshiko a chance and she too wanted to prove Ikuto didn't lie to her. "This person is…well…"
Seeing Amu struggling to tell Ikuto, Nadeshiko took the initiative, "I want to apologise to you for the other day." She forced herself to stop glaring at Ikuto which actually took more effort than she thought it would. "I'm sorry for the incident at the airport."
Ikuto raised an eyebrow, clearly wasn't expecting this. He observed Nadeshiko carefully and simply did not respond.
"Ikuto," Amu tried again, this time catching his attention. He looked at her with quite a soft expression which surprised her, but at the same time made her feel a little more confident. "This is Nadeshiko Fujisaki. I want to hire her to be my personal maid."
There was a few seconds of silence that seemed to stretch on forever and Amu kept getting more anxious since Ikuto didn't respond. She tried again, a little louder, "I know this is sudden but I and Nadeshiko really get along and I thought since you have Kukai around you all the time then I…maybe…"
"Ok," Ikuto simply said, "you can hire whoever you want as long as you are responsible for them. Make sure they don't cause me trouble and its fine."
"Y-yes," Amu nodded, surprised Ikuto accepted so easily.
"What's wrong?" Ikuto asked, leaning over the coffee table in between them and placing his hand over her head gently, "You're not ill are you? Why do you look so dazed?"
Amu blushed and smiled, happy that Ikuto was worried about her. "I'm alright. Thank you for allowing me to hire Nadeshiko."
Ikuto nodded and reached for his buzzing mobile. "I'll be back soon. Kukai, pay up." He then left the three to answer his call.
Strange, Kukai thought as he went to pay the bill, Ikuto isn't usually this nice, accepting to hire that woman so easily. What is he thinking? No…couldn't possibly could it…Kukai smiled now, that devil is feeling guilty for what he did to Amu last night, maybe?
Nadeshiko remained silent, her eyes constantly glancing from Amu to Ikuto then back again. It appeared on the surface, that Ikuto didn't treat Amu too badly, but it was obvious he did not treat her as someone he loved. Nadeshiko remembered clearly when Ikuto asked whether Amu was ill just then, his eyes were emotionless. It felt precisely like he was asking out of pure duty or acting his part as a good husband. Amu on the other hand, much to Nadeshiko's dismay was further confirmed to be hopelessly in love with Ikuto. The worst case scenario, Nadeshiko thought, does losing your memories really make you fall in love easier?
"So you're Nadeshiko Fujisaki," Kukai said breaking Nadeshiko's thoughts. "I'm Kukai Souma, Ikuto's personal butler, also head-butler of the Tsukiyomi household."
Nadeshiko took Kukai's hand and shook it, noticing the force he was exerting. He wasn't just your everyday normal butler of a rich family; she sensed immediately that they were the same kind of people. "Nadeshiko Fujisaki," she said.
"Kukai," Ikuto suddenly shouted running back towards the group. "We need to leave immediately."
"What's happened?" Amu asked, worried since Ikuto looked desperate.
"Utau has hurt herself," Ikuto explained, "she wouldn't say how bad it is but I think it's better to go back to Japan and check on her." Ikuto turned to Amu, "Sorry, we have to cut our honeymoon short."
Amu gently took hold of Ikuto's hand, "I understand. I'm worried about Utau too. We should go back and see if she's alright. I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself anyway."
Ikuto gave Amu a quick kiss on the forehead, "glad you understand."
"I'll get things ready so we can set off tonight," Kukai said, already busy pressing on his mobile.
Amu turned to Nadeshiko, "then you…"
"Just arrange a ticket for me," Nadeshiko smiled, the quicker we get out of Hong Kong the better. "I can get on a plane right now."
A few hours later, on board a plane back to Japan. Nadeshiko twitched in her seat. Although, for various reasons, Nadeshiko wanted to leave as fast as possible, she couldn't quite believe that she was already on a plane after a few hours of arrangements. It seemed rich people always had their way somehow, either that or she completely underestimated the influence of the Tsukiyomi family. And as fast as they got on a plane, in mere hours Nadeshiko found herself already inside the Tsukiyomi mansion. She couldn't deny how impressed she was as she walked through the front door, greeted by the row of endless servants. Hell, this guy is rich for sure, Nadeshiko pondered, observing the place carefully, it's almost on par with our family.
"Ikuto, Kukai, your back."
Nadeshiko turned to look at the young woman who was running towards them. The blonde threw herself into Ikuto's arms immediately. What's this, Nadeshiko thought, they're close.
"Are you ok Utau?" Ikuto asked stroking her long blonde hair, "you told me you were hurt over the phone, so I came back to check on you."
"Oh, I just cut my finger whilst I was trying to cook," Utau smiled.
"What?" Kukai sighed, "I knew it wasn't something serious. Stop being so shady about it over the phone next time, it's worrying and not funny."
"Are you scolding me?" Utau pouted, "I didn't force you two to come back and check for me."
"Coming back isn't the problem," Kukai sighed again.
"Then what is?" Utau questioned, "The fact that I'm not seriously injured is the problem then. How mean?"
Ikuto laughed, patting Kukai on the back to comfort him, "all that matters is that she's fine."
Kukai could only sigh.
"Utau," Amu said, "I'm glad you're ok."
Ignoring Amu, Utau continued, "so how was it in Hong Kong? You didn't spend long there did you?"
"It was so and so," Ikuto replied.
Utau smiled, "you need to be glad you're back because I have got you the perfect gift…"
"Then I hope it's a gift that will improve your manners girl," Nadeshiko stated loudly, catching Utau and Ikuto's attention. Nadeshiko walked up to Utau, "did you not hear Amu talking to you or are you deaf. Should I take you to the doctors?"
"Wait Nadeshiko…" Amu uttered.
Utau untangled herself from Ikuto to face Nadeshiko, "who is this woman? Does she know who she is talking to?"
"She's Amu's personal maid, hired only hours ago," Ikuto answered. "It wasn't my decision."
"So you're just a servant," Utau eyed Nadeshiko, "where are your manners? To talk back to your own master, should I take you to a primary school so you can relearn what status means?"
Nadeshiko leered at Utau, keeping silent, how she just wanted to slap this bitch.
"Apologise, or do you need to be taught that as well?" Utau demanded glaring back at Nadeshiko. What's with this woman, she's intense and doesn't seem or act like a servant. She's got too much pride, Utau noted.
"Apologise to Amu first," Nadeshiko demanded back, "for ignoring someone who was worried about you. It's the least you can do."
Ikuto pulled Kukai back who seemed like he wanted to help Utau. "Don't ruin the show," he whispered to Kukai who only sighed yet again. No one ever in this household had ever challenged Utau before, he was curious to see just how mad Nadeshiko could get Utau. Watching a fight between the two might be entertaining too. Maybe he could use Utau to fire Nadeshiko as well, which would save him so much effort.
"Enough," Amu said, grabbing hold of Nadeshiko's arm, "apologise to Utau. She didn't do anything wrong but you…you know you shouldn't speak like this. Apologise to her Nadeshiko."
"I was defending you," Nadeshiko protested, unable to believe that Amu out of anyone was to tell her to apologise. Did she lose her pride as well as her memories? How hopelessly in love with Ikuto was she that she was blind to the way Utau treated her. It infuriated Nadeshiko the more she thought about it.
"Apologise," Amu repeated. Ikuto trusted her enough to let her hire Nadeshiko and it was her responsibility to make sure Nadeshiko behaved herself.
Nadeshiko stared at Amu for a moment before eyeing Utau again. "I'm going out for a walk," Nadeshiko said, gently shoving off Amu's hand and exiting the mansion.
"You're bad aren't you?" Utau commented, "Can't even keep one simple servant under control. How are you to be the mistress of this household?"
"I'm really sorry," Amu apologised.
"Now, now, don't be so harsh on the gal," a female voice laughed.
Before Amu could make sense of things, an upside down head suddenly swung in front of her, scaring her so much she screamed and fell to the floor. When she calmed down a little, she realised she was staring at a girl who was somehow hanging upside down from the chandelier.
"Oops, I scared ya," the girl said, jumping down onto the floor before Amu, her red boots making a light thud as she landed. She turned around to face Ikuto, Kukai and Utau, "should I say welcome back, although I just got back moments ago."
"Don't break the chandelier," Kukai warned.
"I see," Ikuto smiled, "this is indeed the best present you have prepared for me Utau."
Utau smiled, "Isn't it? Iru is back."
Amu stared at the girl named Iru. Who was she, another family member? She was dressed rather daringly though, in a tight leather red dress and red boots that accompanied her short dark-purple hair.
"I've plenty to say but before that," Iru said turning to face Amu again, "Sorry for scaring ya gal…" She bent down and grabbed Amu's arm but stopped just when she was about to pull Amu to her feet. Iru's eyes widened and she couldn't stop staring at Amu. "Hey, just…where have I seen you before…?" Iru tilted her head to the side as she studied Amu more. "Where have I seen you before," she repeated more certainly.