As the weeks pass, Emma begins to get used to filming. She gets used to waking up at four in the morning to swallowing darkness. She knows now that the best way to chase sleep from her mind is to drag herself from her bed and into the shower. An icy spurt of water is enough to send anyone into overdrive.

She's used to the layers upon layers of makeup, the heavy costumes, and the sudden mood swings of the director. She's seen firsthand why everyone calls Leroy Grumpy.

That's not to say it isn't taking its toll on her. Even after her freezing shower and nine cups of coffee, she can't wake herself up completely. A few times she falls asleep in the makeup chair while Ariel is doing her hair. The first time it happens, Emma is mortified. Ariel shrugs and smiles. She says she doesn't mind. Apparently Emma's not the first.

So the next time it happens, Emma isn't too embarrassed. Or the time after that. It becomes part of her daily routine; early mornings, late nights, naps in between.

She doesn't realise that Killian has taken a picture until Elsa shows it to her on his Instagram page (something Emma does not and will never own). In the picture, she's asleep on the chair, eyes closed, head lolling to one side. A pale waterfall of hair falls over her face. The caption reads, 'One cute co-star'. Elsa spends the rest of the morning reading out the comments from the fans - 'Oh my God', 'so cute', 'Emma is so cute', 'she's gonna be amazing', 'I think I'm shipping it?.'

"What does shipping mean?"

Elsa laughs. "I don't think you're ready. Ask me in a few months."

Emma makes a mental note to Google it later. But in truth, she'll completely forget. From what she's gathered, it's a phrase passed between people on the internet. No, not people.

Fans.

The whole fan side of everything makes her feel a little bit stupid. Usually, Emma's pretty internet savvy. When she was younger, she was good at hacking things and getting into different websites. She could get into anyone's MySpace or Facebook. As the years went by, she kind of lost her touch a little. She doesn't keep up with Instagram or Twitter or any of it really. From what the other actors have said, it's a great way to connect with the fans, but it has its downsides. The other actors have already warned her about typing her own name into Google. She shouldn't do it. Not under any circumstances.

Emma doesn't bother confronting Killian about the picture, even though she has plenty of chances to.

She actually finds herself enjoying his company. He can be quite funny and charming when he wants to be. If Emma messes up her lines, he's patient. He assures her everyone does it and there's no need to be frustrated. He's a people person. He knows which strings to pull and he can get almost anyone to do what he wants.

He's even managing to charm her, she realises. As the first month and a half passes, she finds herself warming to him. The ice which encases her heart is slowly but surely melting, like it did with David and Mary Margaret. She even manages to forget all about his thing with Gold. She almost feels bad about the first day of filming, when he tried to help her and she so quickly ignored him.

Then he does something that surprises her, and earns him a space in her good books. He makes her feel even more welcome than he already has.

She's sat on set, reading one of Henry's stories. She always used to make sure she had enough time to read her kid's stories, but she's been so busy recently, she hasn't had time. This one's important, though. He's hoping to get it published one day. Maybe he will. She has every faith in her son and his dreams.

She's still reading when a shadow stands over her, blocking out the light. She knows it's Killian before she even glances up.

"Hello, Swan," he says, with one of those easy smiles, as he lowers himself into the chair beside her. "I have a proposition for you."

She closes Henry's manuscript, giving him her attention. "Shoot." Like her, he's dressed in costume. Leather pants and a white, loose fitting shirt.

His answering smile is as charming as it is warming. "I'm hosting a cast party tomorrow night. We're going to watch the first episode air."

"A party, huh?" She raises her eyebrows. She hasn't been to a party for a while. After Henry came into her life she knocked the partying on the head. Even before Henry she used partying and drink as a way to forget, not necessarily to have fun. She's always been kind of a loner, so she's never been to a party with friends. Well, apart from one. A girl named Lily. But she doesn't want to think about Lily right now. Or ever.

"I say 'party' but alas, I tell a lie. Just a few people." He leans forward, resting his arm on the table. His voice becomes a low murmur. "I'd very much like it if you could make it."

"I don't know…"

The thing is, she doesn't really want to go to a party. She wants to stay at home and watch her first episode with Henry, her family. He's been twittering nonstop about it all week, excitedly telling her exactly how many days, hours and minutes there are until the episode airs. It's all surreal to him, but not as much as it is to her. She wants to watch it with him to ground herself. He keeps her right.

"C'mon, Swan." That murmur again. He's moving closer, his eyes dropping down to the table. She gets the feeling that this is what buys him a lot of things; his pretty face and his hypnotising voice.

"Sorry, Killian. I want to watch it with my son."

Then again, Henry has already said to her that the cast tend to watch the episode together, and if that's the case, she might as well. He told her it would be a good chance to make friends, and to get to know the actors better, especially people she hasn't worked with too much. He's always has a wise head on his shoulders, that one.

"I'm sure your boy won't mind if you miss one, little episode…"

"The first episode. My first episode."

"Ah, your first episode." Then he leans back, nodding. That low, seductive voice has gone. "Perfectly understandable. I admit, I rather envy your boy here. It would have been nice to see your face when you realise how brilliant you are."

"Brilliant?" She can't stop her eyes from narrowing. What's his game?

"Aye. Brilliant. Truly talented." There isn't a hint of irony or teasing on his face, or in his voice. If she didn't know any better, she would say he's being genuine. I was hoping it would be you. His words echo through her mind. Had he? Had he really hoped?

"Thank you?"

"Here's the thing, Swan. I was going to use this opportunity to get to know you better."

She folds her arms, leaning back in her chair. "Huh."

"I don't know you at all and I truly believe that-" He looks at her through his eyelashes "- we have a lot in common, you and I."

"Do we now?"

"Aye. I intended to spend tomorrow night entirely with you. But if not, I'd like to pick another day to spend with you."

She considers this for a moment. As much as she hates people 'getting to know' her, he has a point. They should probably try and get on since they're going to be working twenty four seven with each other. They haven't had too many scenes yet, but they will. Belle's already hinted at the budding romance within her stage directions.

The way she sees it, she has a choice. She can either go to this cast party with other people and talk to Killian there, or she can take him up on his other suggestion and go on some sort of date, which she doesn't want to do. Plus, they don't have to get to know each other too much. They can swap funny stories, not gruesome pasts.

And Henry wouldn't be too disappointed, would he?

"Alright, fine." she says after a pause.

"What, really?"

"Sure."

"Excellent." His answering smile is beaming. "It starts at seven. If you give me your number, I can text you the details."

They swap numbers. It's awkward and clumsy but they get there in the end. She catches a glimpse of his phone screen. He's listed her under 'Swan', not Emma, or even Emma Swan.

"I'll see you tomorrow." And then he's off.

As soon as he's gone she finds Graham on set. A few weeks ago they already filmed an initial scene, but they have a few more to do. They're going to make the characters close friends, which she's glad about because she genuinely likes working with Graham. Emma has an inkling that they're going to give Toby feelings for Rose as well, but she's not entirely sure of that.

In between rehearsals she subtly tries to ask him if he's going to Killian's tomorrow night, only it's not very subtle because subtlety has never been Emma Swan's speciality.

"Oh. That?" Graham says, frowning a little. "I was invited, but I'm not sure I want to go. Are you going?"

"Maybe…" Emma says, feeling very much like a teenage girl debating whether to go to a friend's sleepover.

"If you go, I'll go," says Graham.

"I'll go then."

Yes, she definitely sounds like a teenage girl. She has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Then again, it's nice to know Graham will be there. She only really knows Elsa and Killian but at the same time, she doesn't really know them at all.

"Then I'll go." He gives her a wolfish grin.

"ROLLING IN TEN," comes Grumpy's voice, and casual conversation is lost as rehearsal and makeup touches replace it.

The scene goes swimmingly. She doesn't make any mistakes, or trip over her words. She's finally beginning to get used to the crew and other actors watching her. She knew she would. It was only a matter of time.

It's easy to act with Graham. Natural. With Killian, she's terrified of making a mistake. She isn't exactly sure why, but she's very aware of how she wants him to see her. Strong. Good at what she does. With Graham, she doesn't mind how he sees her. There's an immediate friendship there.

When Emma gets in, she's exhausted. Going to the party seems like a chore, but at the same time she doesn't want to miss it. She wants to see the first episode in the company of the other actors. She can imagine the conversations, and them teasing each other when their scenes come on.

She wolfs down a microwave lasagne and then after that, she gets ready. She debates one of her dresses, but in the end goes with jeans and a pretty shirt. Afterwards, she spruces up her makeup and adds a few curls to her hair. She's ready by half six.

Thinking she'll be drinking, Emma ditches the bug and gets a cab. Killian's house is within fifteen minutes of driving distance.

Her mouth falls open as the cab whines to a stop on the pavement. The house is huge. It's not like a house at all, more like a mansion. She guesses seven bedrooms and four bathrooms at a glance. She hands over the money, unable to tear her eyes away from the house.

"You've got a pretty rich friend," the cab driver comments as he hands over her change.

"I guess I have," says Emma. "Thanks for the ride."

She hastily leaves the cab before he can work out exactly whose house it is and demand an autograph or something.

Her heels click against the concrete as she makes her way down the drive and up the steps. She's pretty sure she could fit the entirety of her house in his drive. One sleek, expensive looking car doesn't even take up a third of the drive.

Music becomes louder and louder as she approaches the house.

After a moment's hesitation, Emma presses the doorbell. The porch seems to envelope her. She looks up at the archway as she waits.

The door swings open.

Warmth and music is unleashed.

"Emma!"

The person at the door isn't Killian. Instead, it's Elsa. She too is in jeans and a shirt. She wears a warm smile, as she ushers her inside. Emma wants to ask where Killian is, but at the same time she doesn't. Luckily, Elsa answers her unspoken question.

"Killian put me on door duty," says Elsa, rolling her eyes.

"Lucky you." Emma follows her inside.

There's a lot more people than she had anticipated. It's clear that Killian's idea of "a few people" is completely different to hers. There's people everywhere she looks, some dancing, some shouting over the music, some staring, and all drinking. She wonders how on earth they're supposed to watch an episode over all the noise.

"I thought it was a cast party?" she says, dodging out the way of drinks.

"It is. But everyone has to bring a plus one. And then they have to bring a plus one."

They do? "Huh." If she had known that, she might have brought Mary Margaret. When Emma rang her to tell her about the first episode, her friend couldn't hold in her excitement.

"Anyway, I have to go back to the door. Have fun!" Elsa disappears into the crowd.

Emma stands there for a moment, unsure what to do with herself. Her gut is starting to tell her that this was a mistake. She should be at home, getting ready to watch the episode. She doesn't really want to watch it with all these people.

What she does want to do is find Killian Jones, but she doesn't know where to start. He said he wanted to get to know her so where is he? Where's better to get to know someone than at a party? Maybe once she's had a drink, she'll loosen up a little.

"Emma!"

Emma recognises Graham's voice before she turns. He looks just as lost as she feels. He's awkwardly holding two drinks.

"I didn't know what to get you, so I just got you this," he shouts, over the music.

She takes it and takes a sip. Vodka and coke. It's alright, but it's not what she would have gone for. Then again, she's not really in the drinking mood. Usually, she loves a good drink, especially shots, but not today.

"Have you seen Killian?" she asks right into his ear.

"Not yet."

"I was thinking of going to look for him, actually. I was going to thank him for inviting me."

"I'll come with you."

They shuffle through crowds of people (seriously, did he invite everyone he saw) and search through a number of rooms. They try the kitchen first. There's no Killian, but there's Ariel, who waves at them when she spots them, and Emma waves back. The living room comes next. He's not there. They search every room, even the upstairs, but there's nothing. It's not until they're transitioning through the hallway that Emma finds him.

He tumbles out the closet under the stairs, a young woman in a tight, blue dress following him. They're giggling like a pair of teenagers, hair sticking out in all directions, clothes rumpled. Drunk.

He stumbles straight into Emma, his drink slopping down her shirt. She gasps, pulling it away from her skin. The scent of alcohol reaches her nose. Great. Now she smells like a bar.

"Whoa there, sorry lo- Swan!"

"Killian," she says. Her eyes are drawn to the young girl in the dress. So he likes them blonde, then. Not to mention young, and… full of cleavage.

He immediately sobers, though his eyes blink slowly. "I'm sorry. I didn't see you. Forgive me."

She doesn't feel very forgiving. In fact, she feels a little irritated. An irritation that wasn't there two seconds ago. What does she even have to be angry about? Maybe she's irritated because she was just starting to warm to him, but now all her suspicions are confirmed.

Killian is a complete and utter manipulator. He has no intention of 'getting to know her better', as he so put.

"Maybe you should watch where you're going." Her voice is colder than she intends.

"You're right." He holds his hands up, swaying on the spot slightly.

There are lipstick marks all the way down his neck. It only increases her irritation.

"Killian," comes the blonde's voice. She clings to his arm, looking up at him with doe eyes. "Maybe we should go somewhere more… private." She giggles.

Emma and Graham exchange glances. She wants to get out of there. Now. This is too awkward and embarrassing, especially when Emma was the one looking for him.

"We'll leave you too it, then," says Graham, with a forced smile. "C'mon Emma."

They both turn around and start walking into the crowds. If Killian calls her back, she doesn't hear. It's probably for the best.

Graham suggests getting a drink and heading into one of the many rooms to watch the episode. Emma, however, doesn't want to be here anymore. She feels a little stupid. She can't believe that she thought Killian inviting her meant she was starting to become his friend, that it was a way to welcome her. She knew what he was all along. How could she have thought any different?

He probably leads women into his bed with those charming smiles, and sparkly blue eyes, and never speaks to them again. She imagines hundreds of women sat by the phone, hugging a pillow, waiting for him to call. She will certainly never be one of those women.

"Listen, I think I'm just gonna head home," says Emma after a moment of standing there in silence. "This is crap. And I need to change my shirt." It's uncomfortably clinging to her.

Graham proposes they watch the episode together, but Emma just wants to be left alone. They share a cab, which drops Emma off first. She gives him a wave and tells him she'll see him in the morning.

There are a few scripts waiting for her when she gets in. She almost trips over them in the darkness, cursing and mumbling about Henry leaving his stuff all over the place.

When she turns the light on, she sees them for what they are. Kicking her heels off, she stumbles into the living room, scripts under arm. For the first time, she ignores them, dropping them on the table. Then she sinks down onto the sofa. There's an unwelcome presence. Silence.

Usually, she doesn't mind being alone, but right here, right now, it leaves her with a feeling of emptiness. And at the same time, longing. The first episode is airing tonight. Her first episode. Something she, and everyone else in her life, should be proud of.

So why is she alone?

The people who should be here aren't here. Henry's at Regina's, thanks to Emma's misjudgements. If she hadn't gone to Killian's party, he'd be here and they would be getting ready to watch it together. A weight settles in her chest.

She told Graham she wanted to be alone, but that isn't exactly true. She just wants to be with someone familiar, someone who will be proud of her whatever she does. Her family. She stays sat there for a few minutes more before she makes her mind up, and calls Mary Margaret.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma is leading her friend into the living room, and taking her coat.

"David isn't with you?" Emma asks.

"He wanted to come but I told him to leave it tonight," she explains, watching Emma through critical eyes. "It sounded like you needed some girl time. Someone to talk to."

Emma can't hide anything from her. "You're right."

"Take a seat. I'll fix you some hot chocolate."

She does as she's told, and sits at the kitchen table. She chats as Mary Margaret makes her hot chocolate in her own home, just the way she likes it. Emma tells her all about the past few weeks filming, and how genuinely nice everyone has been. Then she moves onto Killian. She tells her about how he can be the most charming person in the whole world, but it's just a ploy, to charm people into doing what he wants.

"So he's a bit of a ladies' man, then?" Mary Margaret asks, taking a sip of her hot chocolate. Her tongue darts out to catch some cream off her lip.

"More than that," Emma mumbles, blowing on her own drink. A few spots of cream fly across the table.

"And you're… jealous?"

"What? Jealous?" Emma's eyes widen. "Of course not." How could she be?

Mary Margaret studies Emma with motherly eyes over her drink. "Being jealous is a perfectly acceptable response."

"I guess but I hardly know the guy. I mean, c'mon. Tonight just proves how much I don't know him."

"I don't think you're jealous because you're attracted to him," she says, after a moment of thought. "Or because you know him. I just think it's because he made you feel welcome, y'know? He was kind. Charming. Funny, by the sounds of it. We all cling to people like that in unfamiliar places - it's only natural."

"Where are you going with this?"

"Think about it. When you see this type of behaviour, you expect that type of behaviour all the time. So tonight, when you saw him for what he was, it shocked you. Because instead of being the perfectly charming man you're used to, he decided to charm someone else. Even though he invited you. Do you see?"

Emma takes a sip of her chocolate, letting her words sink in. It makes sense, and Mary Margaret has always been the voice of reason. "You're right."

"If Graham had done the same thing, I'm sure you would have been equally as annoyed." Then, a mischievous smile tugs at her lips. "I have to say, I'm disappointed in Killian. He's my favourite character on the show. I was hoping he'd have a nice personality to match that attractive face."

There's a pause. Emma sets her expression. "He's not that attractive," she says. It's true. If she looks at him with one eye closed, and squints, it looks like he has two noses. And that's not attractive at all.

Mary Margaret giggles like a schoolgirl. "Are you blind, Emma Swan? He's a sexy, sexy, sexy man."

"I'll make sure to tell him next time I see him." She rolls her eyes.

"I can't say that in front of David. He gets jealous. He says Killian looks like a pirate."

Emma snorts. "A pirate?"

"I know, right? He really must be beautiful if David can't find any other insults than calling him a pirate."

That makes them both laugh. The laughter immediately brightens Emma's mood.

At nine, they switch on the television and curl up on the sofa to watch the episode. Emma has to say, she's nervous. She's only seen herself on TV once (for fifteen minutes in that soap opera) and that was the strangest experience of her entire life.

As the theme tune sounds, Emma's nerves increase. She can't believe she's about to watch Kings and Queens because she is in it. One of the biggest television shows going. The episode follows her in the first few minutes. It shows her home being destroyed, and Emma crying as flames surround her. Rose and her mother are dragged in front of the king, forced to beg for their lives, and then the king offers them a place at the castle.

It's so strange. So, so strange. The woman on the screen is Emma, but at the same time, it's a different person. The makeup and the costume have completely transformed her. It's amazing.

"You're good," Mary Margaret tells her half way through, eyes wide in awe. "You're really good."

Emma doesn't say anything, but she can't keep the smile from her face. They watch her first scene with Killian, which Mary Margaret has a little squeal at. Despite everything Emma's told her about Killian, he's still her favourite actor.

At the end of the episode, she claps. There's a huge smile on her face, as she pulls Emma into a bone breaking hug. "Emma," she sighs, rocking her a little. "I'm so proud of you."

Emma rubs her back, embarrassed at the tears in her eyes. She blinks them away. "Thank you."

Mary Margaret moves back and holds Emma at arm's length, looking into her face. "You're just as good as any of them. You have no need to feel out of place."

Her comment instills a confidence Emma hasn't had the past few weeks of filming. She's right. Emma was good in that episode. Emma can act. She's always been able to act.

Mary Margaret leaves not long after midnight. Even though Emma has an early start tomorrow, she can't seem to switch her brain off. The episode keeps running through her head. Killian keeps running through her head. She tosses and turns, kicking off sheets that stick to her, and combing her hair back from her face.

When it gets to two AM, she knows there's no point trying to sleep if sleep won't come. Instead, she gets out of bed and makes a coffee. The scripts she dropped onto the kitchen table earlier in the night catch her eye.

She reads them. She can't help herself. They're the last three scripts, leading right up to a mid season finale. Emma's surprised to get them so soon, but Belle has left a note on the scripts saying she managed to finish them way before schedule.

She reads to the end, to the very last scene of the finale. She has to re-read the last scene, just to make sure her mind isn't playing tricks on her.

There's a kiss. A kiss between Alexander and Rose.

A kiss between Emma and Killian.

Thank you for reading! Did I mention this is a slooooow burn?