AN: HEY EVERYONE! SORRY FOR THE KINDA LONG WAIT, BUT THIS TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET OUT. IT HAS A LOT OF INFORMATION IN IT AND IT TOOK ME A WHILE TO GET THIS THING TO MAKE IT SOUND SOMEWHAT BELIEVABLE. AND YET IT STILL DOESNT' SOUND 100% TRUE... BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT... ANYWAY... BE HAPPY I THINK THIS IS IS THE LONGEST CHAPTER I'VE WRITTEN FOR THIS STORY... IT'S CURRENTLY AT 2081 WORDS.
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THIS... IF I DID THEN IT WOULDN'T BE ON HERE...
AN2: ALSO... THIS IS WHERE IT REALLY STARTS TO DEVIATE FROM WITHOUT A TRACE... FOR ABOUT HALF OF THE BACKGROUND INFO MENTIONED IN HERE... NEVER HAPPENED...
WARNING!: MAJOR CRYING/FLUFF IN THIS CHAPTER... I MEAN... I KINDA FEEL BAD, I'M MAKING KENDALL LOOK LIKE A GIRL... BUT THAT'S OK BECAUSE WE STILL LOVE HIM... AND HE'LL TOTALLY NOT BE A GIRL NEXT CHAPTER... I HOPE... LOL I'M KINDA JUST GOING WITH THE FLOW ON THIS STORY... OK WELL THINK IT'S SAFE TO SAY I'VE RAMBLED ON LONG ENOUGH!
Chapter Five
James watched Kendall as he took in the house, seeing the blonde like this reminded him just how different they were.
'He looks so cute right now... I wonder what mom and dad will say when they meet him next month' Grabbing Kendall's hand he led the boy towards the south gardens.
"This is the south lawn... well the yard between the south garden's and the house... It's not much of yard compared to the west lawn," James laughed when he saw Kendall's face. "It's ok, I know it can be overwhelming the first time, but you'll get used to it... heck Carlos and Logan practically live here... we redid the basement and gave them their own rooms!" Kendall looked down.
"I'm sorry James, I just don't know if this will work, I mean... I don't know you're just rich and I'm just not. This kind of stuff only happens in movies, not real life" James took Kendall's hand and led him towards the gazebo.
"Kendall, I want you to listen... are you listening?" James waited for a nod before lifting the boy's eyes to his and continuing. " Whether you're rich or not doesn't matter one bit to me, ok? If I wanted to be with a rich guy I would be, but I'm with you, because I like you... a lot. And if this doesn't work out? Then at least we know we tried. We are seniors in High school. We are still trying to figure out what we like, who we are, and what we want to be, for all we know after we graduate we could never see each other again. But I've never felt this way before about a guy, and if we don't give this a shot, I'm positive both of us are going to spend the rest of our lives wondering what if... and I don't want to do that, I care about you too much to do that, so please jus..." James was cut off by Kendall pressing his lips to James's. After air became needed James pulled back and smiled.
"What was that for?" Kendall blushed and shrugged.
"I don't know... I guess just a thank you... no one has ever made me feel wanted before..." James's face hardened in confusion.
"What about you're parent's?" Kendall stood up and walked over to the other side of the gazebo. It had begun to lightly rain, and he shivered slightly, internally wishing he would have brought a heavier jacket.
"James, I know you're not an idiot, why do you think I'm in foster care to begin with? My dad is an alcoholic... and my mom... well my mom was too submissive to care when he got drunk. He'd... " Kendall trailed off and James realized what had happened. Walking over to the boy he carefully wrapped his arms around him.
"He hit you? didn't he? He abused you?" Kendall nodded sadly and turned to face James.
"I couldn't go back there James, I had run to New York to be close to my best friend Hanna, he would have... he would have killed me for leaving without permission... and I couldn't deal with that anymore..." James comforted the teen as best as he could. After a few minutes Kendall stepped back and sniffled. "Shit, I'm acting like a girl... you must think I'm some weak little shit that couldn't survive... Now I know why Malone put me in solitary... I would have been beaten to a pulp crying like that." James shook his head and grabbed Kendall's hand again.
"No... I think you're strong Kendall, you survived something that most people never have to go through, and it's made you stronger. It's ok to cry, if you keep everything locked up inside you're going to explode." James looked at Kendall again and saw that he was shaking. Grabbing his other hand he noticed the boy was cold.
"You're freezing! Come on, let's get you warmed up inside." Instead of heading towards the house James led Kendall towards a small guest house. The drizzle had turned into a downpour and the boys were quickly drenched.
"This used to be the living quarters of the maids back when the house was built, My dad and I remodeled it when I was about thirteen or fourteen, it's his version of a club house, and only I and the maid have the key. I keep some clothes and stuff out here for when I need to get away from my mom... She sometimes never leaves me alone," Kendall nodded and watched as James unlocked the door. Kendall walked in and looked around shocked.
"When you said club house I pictured like something for a little kid... this is more like a bachelor pad." James laughed and pulled Kendall into the bedroom. Going to the closet he pulled out a black long sleeved shirt and a pair of pajama pants.
"Here... They may be a little big, but I think they'll fit you ok... I'm gonna go get us some hot tea ok?" Kendall nodded and placed the clothes on the bed... making sure James was gone he pulled off his shirt and started to ring out it out, when James walked into the room. James stopped and stared at Kendall's back. It was littered with scars. some were just long gashes, like a knife had been used, others were burned into his skin, and some even formed words like 'Queer', 'Homo', and 'Freak' there were many that he could tell formed words but were too faded to read. snapping out of his shock he took a step closer to the boy.
"Kendall... What happened to your back?" Kendall quickly pulled the shirt over his head and turned around to face James.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!" James looked shocked at Kendall. Kendall had never sounded so angry before.
"Kendall... what... did your DAD do that to you?" He asked persistently, but Kendall was tired of giving in to James.
"Just drop it James... It's none of your business who or what did that to my back... I'm gonna leave so you can get changed..." James watched as the younger teen walked out of the bedroom and left him alone.
BTRBTRBTRBTR
After James had returned from changing clothes he found Kendall laying on the couch with a blanket wrapped around him. Figuring he was sleeping James took that time to call Kendall's foster parents and ask them if Kendall could stay the night. The storm had gotten bad, and he didn't want to risk something happening. Of course the Knights thought that it was fine, and told them to have fun and be safe. After ending the call he looked back at Kendall to see him looking at him. Kendall was really awake during the entire conversation and couldn't help but realize James really did care for him.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to wake you up... but the storm is awful and I don't want to wreck my car tonight." Kendall nodded in understanding before patting the couch. Signaling James to come over. siting down James watched in shock as the blonde laid his head on James's lap. After a few minutes of silence Kendall started to speak.
"It wasn't my dad James... Well not most of them, a couple were but that's a different story, the point is, my..." Kendall sighed. He had never told anyone this, he'd never voluntarily shown his back to people either, yet here he was slowly taking off his shirt and telling the story to James. Fucking James Diamond, the only person Kendall ever truly feared, because he had no idea what James was going to do next. "It was after the accident, I had kept telling Mac we had to see if Charlie was really dead... I kept screaming go back go back. It was no secret that Charlie wasn't quite straight... We'll never know now if he was completely gay, or just bi, but Mac started accusing me of being his boyfriend. Which wasn't true at all, I hadn't even figured out I was gay back then; but my loyalty to Charlie got me into trouble. Mac called up a bunch of the guys and told them to meet by the old barn just outside of town. When we got there... They tied me up... beat me, used whatever they could find on me... they kept calling me a freak, and a man whore. I hadn't even DONE anything with a girl let alone a guy.."As Kendall trailed off James played with Kendall's hair soothingly. Kendall was staying strong, probably trying not to cry, but James couldn't help but let a small tear escape. This boy had been through utter hell, and he couldn't do a single thing to change that. "You know what's funny though? They all knew Charlie was gay or bi or whatever and they never gave him any problems... Am I that flaming gay that they picked up I was gay, and Charlie was only bi? Or maybe they secretly liked him more then me, and this gave them a reason to try and kill me..." James shook his head. He remembered the article Carlos had found on Kendall, or Shay as he was known back then.
"They were jealous of you K, they knew you were great back then, and they got jealous, they just used the fact that you liked guys, even if you didn't know it, as an excuse..." James looked down to Kendall's back, slowly tracing the scars. "You're beautiful Kendall, you may not think it or realize it, but you are, and even though I would kill to stop you from going through the pain if I could, I wouldn't change one thing about you..." Kendall sighed in content as he snuggled closer to James. He felt safe, and though it scared the living hell out of him, he couldn't help but smile.
James smiled as he watched Kendall get comfortable. Thinking again about just how perfect the other teen was. Thinking of something James dared to ask.
"Kendall... can I ask you something?" Kendall let out a small hmmm as he waited for the real question.
"Why did you change your name... I mean I know your middle name is Seamus, but you used to go by Shay, now you go by Kendall... why?" Kendall rolled over so he could look up at James's eyes. Sighing he watched as the brunette took his hand. "If it's too hard you don't have to tell me... it's just... I want to know everything about you," Kendall let a small smile slip and squeezed the boy's hand.
"It's not too hard to talk about it, it's just really hard to explain without sounding like an idiot." James shook his head.
"You could never sound like an idiot to me K, NEVER" Kendall nodded and closed his eyes again.
"Well, back when I lived in Chicago, I loved to play hockey, and read, write, go to school believe it or not, but most of all I LOVED to draw, and I was really good at it too, if Hanna was right. But after the accident... I changed... School held no appeal for me since I was privately tutored in Jail, I was only allowed text books, and writing was no fun without Hanna and Charlie there to read it. But most of all, I couldn't draw anymore. It was as if a block had been put on me, I could barely draw stick figures, let alone create pieces of art. So after the first three months of jail, I quit. I haven't drawn since. Everything that made Shay, Shay, was gone, and the only thing that remained was hockey, which I had loved since I was born. So I insisted on being called Kendall, I could make a new person, I could find new interests and hopefully forget about the past." James nodded.
"I understand K, I really do, but I wish you would draw again, I can tell by the way you talked about it you miss it." Kendall shook his head.
"I'll never be Shay again James. I just can't," James nodded and let the subject go. School started next week, he'd have to see if he could convince Mr. Knight to put both he and Kendall into art.
AN3: OK OK OK SO I KNOW IT'S KINDA BORING NOTHING REALLY HAPPENS BUT HEY, YOU GET MORE INFO ON POOR KENDALL'S LIFE. AND YOU GET THE FULL STORY ON WHY KENDALL CHANGED HIS NAME... (HOPE IT MAKES SENSE TO THE PEOPLE THAT WANTED TO KNOW WHY) SOOOO... I MOVE INTO MY DORM ROOM SATURDAY... AND THEN SCHOOL STARTS ON TUESDAY... SO I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN I'LL HAVE TIME TO UPDATE... BUT HAVE NO FEAR... I WILL FINISH THIS STORY... PROPERLY...