Lily didn't know what to do from there. She didn't know who to turn to first, who to tell. One of her friends? Potter? Lily didn't even know how witches checked to see if they were pregnant – she had never known a pregnant witch.

The next week was full of lots of running to bathrooms and breaking down as she hid in a stall.

Lily Evans had finally reached her breaking point.

She had handled bullies, lost friendships, Potter being an arse to her, her mother's death, the impending war, and so many things with at least some amount of grace and dignity.

But this? This she couldn't handle. The stress of who to tell, what would happen, EVERYTHING, was just too much. She honestly felt like she was losing her sanity. She was going to end up in St. Mungo's insane ward.

Lily didn't even know if it was true. She could still be overreacting. Her missed period could be a coincidence.

It just didn't feel like a coincidence.

When Marlene found Lily sobbing in the dormitory alone, Lily's first inclination was to make up a lie.

Lily had stayed in the room to do homework, honestly, while the rest of her friends went to get some fresh autumn air. But two minutes into her attempts at homework, she had broken down again. It was getting a little ridiculous. Lily had never felt this helpless and emotional before. She was just too stressed and too alone and too angry at herself for allowing this to happen.

Lily had only been lying there for a few minutes when Marlene returned to the room. She had been at Quidditch practice that morning – Lily had forgotten – so she hadn't been with the other girls.

And Lily just couldn't handle it alone anymore. So she pulled herself together, blew her nose loudly on the tissue Marlene handed her, and then said in a small voice, "I think I'm pregnant."

Marlene looked like she was about to faint. Her face was stone white, her eyes were as big as a house elf's, and her grasp on Lily's shoulder weakened significantly. "You think or you are? Because there's a big difference between thinking you're pregnant and being pregnant. Goddamnit, Lily, I thought you were a virgin," Marlene said, the words falling out of her mouth before she'd even comprehended what she was saying.

The tears began to leak from Lily's eyes again. "I think. I don't even know how to check."

"But, Lily, how?"

"The… T-the party," Lily sobbed.

Marlene's eyes got even wider, if that was possible. "Oh, no. James?"

Lily nodded, and she wrapped her arms tightly around her chest, as though she could hold in the sobs that wanted to break out.

Marlene was silent for a long moment, and Lily got the rest of her tears out. Finally, Marlene wrapped her arm around Lily again. "We'll figure it out, Lils. It'll be okay, I promise you. I'm here now."

"Thank you," Lily whispered, tucking her head down.

"I know how to check," Marlene said slowly. "Do you… do you want me to do it right now?"

Lily looked up at Marlene and let out a slow breath. Her sobs had begun to slow, and her mind was clearing. "Yes. Please."

Marlene nodded slowly and walked over to her bed. She pulled her wand out of her dresser and returned to Lily. "Now, I don't think this hurts, but I've never actually had it done on me so…" Marlene shook her head. "Alright, here we go…" She waved her wand around Lily's stomach.

A puff of purple smoke popped out of Marlene's wand.

Lily looked at her friend. "What does that mean?"

Marlene put her wand in her pocket and looked into Lily's eyes. "You're pregnant."

Lily nodded slowly. "Thanks."

"Yeah," Marlene murmured, her eyes trailing away to the window that had been left open. It was still a sunny day outside, and their friends were probably outside enjoying the sun and the warmth while it lasted. The crispness of the air reminded them all that soon the days would arrive where they would see their breath in their air before them.

And inside, Lily and Marlene hugged. But Lily didn't cry anymore, because she'd gotten two of her issues out of the way: she had told somebody and now she knew for sure.

Yet something in the back of her mind warned that those would be two of the easiest things she would have to deal with.

One of the scariest prospects facing Lily was James Potter himself.

If it had been anyone else, this would have been a lot easier.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Marlene hissed at Lily when she excused herself from the table to go meet James for their patrol.

"I-no."

"No?" Marlene stood up and stared incredulously at her. A few stray eyes arrived at the pair.

Lily met Marlene's eyes defiantly. "This is James Potter," she hissed. "I need to make sure I can trust him first."

"And then you'll tell him?"

Lily wanted to get angry and defend her right to make her own decisions and such, but this was her best friend and Marlene looked more lovable than scary standing there with a hand on her hip and her light eyebrows raised. "Sure," Lily mumbled.

She walked over to where Potter and his crew were sitting and tapped the former on the shoulder. "Time to go," she sang in a fake-happy voice.

Sirius waggled his eyebrows as James wiped his mouth on his napkin and stood up. "Now, children," Sirius said, "If today is the day you finally decide to snog, please don't do it in the kitchens, because that's where I will be spending the night, and I really do not need to witness that."

James rolled his eyes, but Lily flushed dark red. When Lily didn't reply with a snarky remark, all four boys looked up at her and saw her blush.

James gave Sirius a now you've done it look and then said, more softly, "Come on, Evans."

It was like they were playing a game, only James didn't know they were playing.

Or maybe he had just been playing the whole time.

Whatever the case, James would be nice and funny and sensitive for a few days, and Lily would start to think about telling him, and then he would screw something up, or say something horrible, and he would get knocked back a few pegs. Then telling James would fall behind killing him on Lily's to-do list.

Marlene was mad at her. "You should go tell Madame Pomfrey," she reminded Lily about five million times a day.

But Lily was too busy being stubborn to hear her.

"Are you going to Slughorn's party next week?" Lily asked one morning as she walked to Transfiguration with James.

"Of course. And I would ask if you are, but I think Slug-O would lose his pants if you didn't show, so for our good old Potion master's sake…"

Lily smiled as they hopped onto a staircase that was leaving.

"I can't believe it's Christmas already," James murmured, gesturing towards the wreath that someone had stuck on the wall.

"Me neither. Are you going home?"

James grimaced. "Kinda have to, don't I? Can't leave Mum alone…"

Lily sighed. "Been there…" She looked at a tapestry for a long moment, avoiding his eyes, and then she looked back over. "How's she doing?"

James shrugged. "I haven't seen her since summer, but from what I can tell, not as well as I hoped."

Lily watched him as he peered down a few hallways, and then gestured for them to just go straight. "And you?"

He looked right at her, and Lily felt her stomach give a small turn for some unimaginable reason. It must have been the sad look that he gave her, paired with the small, pained smile. "I'm fine."

"Fine?" Lily repeated, feeling a small smile stretching involuntarily across her lips to match James'.

"You're one to talk, Ms. Evans. I seem to remember 'fine' being one of the only words in your vocabulary last winter," he teased lightly.

"Well…"

Both of them smirked at each other, and suddenly they were laughing hysterically. Lily realized that they were still on a staircase, though they should have gotten off over two minutes ago. This just made her laugh harder. She doubled-over, her hands folded over her stomach, until she realized the significance of that and dropped her hands. She almost stopped laughing, but then James almost fell off of the staircase, and she had to grab his arm so he didn't fall over. Soon they were both sitting down on the moving staircase, unable to even look at each other because they were laughing so hard.

"You're bloody insane," Lily choked out finally.

"Well, only a true maniac would start laughing when I was trying to confess all of my feelings about my father's death."

Lily laughed a few more times, and then she looked down at James seriously. "Seriously, though, if you ever need to talk to someone who won't give you that sympathetic, you're-practically-an-orphan look, I'm here."

James stopped laughing, too. Lily wasn't sure he had ever looked as serious as when he responded, "I know. And ditto." There was a pause, and then James looked at his watch. "Seriously, though, we're three minutes late for Transfiguration, and Minnie's going to kill us."

"Oh, Merlin." Lily had completely forgotten they were even going to class. The pair jumped up and rushed up the staircase. Then they stood at the top step, bouncing with impatience as the staircase slowly swung around to the floor that they were trying to get off on. Suddenly, the air between them felt stiff and uncomfortable.

What had she been doing? Especially because James Potter was the father of the baby that was growing in her stomach. And he didn't even know.

And it remained awkward as they fast-walked to McGonagall's class. When they finally arrived at the classroom, they received a stern look from McGonagall and some sniggers from the Slytherins that were waiting for them.

Severus gave James a death-glare, and Lily responded with her own in his direction.

Lily had plenty more to worry about than what that git thought.

A/N: Let's pretend that I didn't just miss getting this up on Halloween (at least, in my time). There's nothing like a good Halloween to bring all of those Jily feels back. Anyway, hope you all enjoy! I'm loving getting to hear all of your comments so far! Thanks for reading.

~writeragl24