Never Seen Nothing like You

Thursday

I woke up with the sudden urge to annihilate every single ounce of my being. The revolting memory comes rushing back, hunting me. I grit my teeth and roll to the other side. I stare straight ahead of me and everything becomes a distant flashback. Everything except him… My eyes instantly close and I clutch my stomach. The yells, the screams, the void is locked and there's no escape to them. I can't set them free. I can't be liberated from this hell.

I roll back and look at my nightstand. My phone is lying there, anticipating the call that is bound to happen in a matter of seconds. It's expecting for me to quickly call Eddie. I restrain the urge to do so and instead cover it with one of the pillows and turn the other way, ignoring it. My eyes well up with tears as the palpitating images rushed back. I shook my head and swallowed. The covers were tightly wrapped around me and my mind was elsewhere, trying to detract itself from the incubus that has me on the verge of breaking.

The moment, the pain, the agony was all interrupted when I heard the phone vibrate on the table. Before my hands swiftly grabbed it, I hesitated and disdained the call. A minute later the vibrating stopped and another vibration followed. Skeptical, I picked it up and I clutched the phone as his name illuminated the dark room. Sighing, I read the message.

Call me.

I read it over and over again. I shut my eyes and refrained from actually doing so. In an instant I placed the phone on the nightstand and sat on the bed. I was still holding onto the phone. What the hell is wrong with me?

A sigh escaped me and I lay on my bed, letting go of the phone. A few moments later, I contemplated the idea of calling him back and letting him to all my secrets, to all my nightmares. The vibrating was non-stop. He kept persisting but I tried my best to ignore them. Seconds passed, minutes passed. Then he gave up, silence captivated the room and I never felt so alone.

"I need a ride home."

The tray went straight to the trash can. I sat in front of Melissa while she popped a carrot into her mouth. She chewed diligently and I watched her take a million years to swallow.

"I can't give you one."

I sighed and slouched back in the chair. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm grounded and I have to be at home at exactly 2:35 or Lisa will strangle me to death."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. Lisa just hates me."

"Mel I don't think-"

"Ay whatever."

She waved her hand and dismissed what I was going to say. I shrugged and looked around the lunch room. Several daggers shot my way, boisterous chattering and fingers pointing at me. I loathe attention. As the minutes pass, I grew smaller, sinking into my chair when I felt all kind of stares. I internally screamed for liberation of this instant. I folded my arms and placed them on the table. My forehead rested on my navy blue sweater. I groaned in annoyance while Melissa chuckled lightly. "Ignore them."

"I just want to get out of here."

"Call your boyfriend. He'll have a thrill if you do."

"Boyfriend? We're just friends Melissa." I sat up straighter and stared at her dead in the eye. She raised her eyebrows and motioned for me to continue. I sighed, "Nothing more."

"Sure Hon, keep telling yourself that."

She passed me her soda can. I scrutinized the design before opening it and taking a deep chug. The strong, refreshing taste calmed me down. I smiled bitterly and remember the first time we met. His eyes lustered with curiosity towards the girl who wanted him out and gone. His persistence was captivating and sometimes I liked his company. His kind words, his sweet caresses were gentle and I didn't mind them. The impact he left trailing behind after that fateful day that Trent got what he rightfully deserve, was immense and it emerged within me to see him again. What happened? Why did I stop going to my spot on top of Griffith hill? What stopped me? I told myself countless of times that it was Trent and all that happened afterwards; From the long and tiring trial to moving to the Valley. But it wasn't that.

It was Eddie.

I didn't want to become too attached to him. I knew that if I kept going to my spot, he was always going to be there, he was going to make sure to be there. And I knew that I would've fallen deeper into his arms. So I stopped because I was afraid... afraid of falling for him. I was afraid that if I did, I would be eventually broken up into bits once again. That was my fear, to be plundered into the deep depths of the ocean, beaten, cut and killed into my own sorrow all over again.

So I stopped.

But in the end, my attempt to keep away from him failed. Two years later I met him again, this time I was freed from Trent. Freed from his torture and misery, but not my own. After all, I am still locked in the past with all the torment inflicted upon me. I'm still locked in my nightmares where they come and haunt me every night. Then came Eddie…

His soothing voice, his gentle gestures, his lenient words is all I needed to control myself and come back to reality. To leave all my nightmares behind.

And it scares me….

It makes me anxious and terrified how much I need him. How fond I am of him. And this needs to come to an abrupt end. I can't in any way get my hopes high; to lead myself to believe that maybe there's something between us… But it's so aggravating when his actions and his words always manage to ignite something within me. It feels so foreign, so strange; these feelings that are developing slowly and I don't know what to do.

"Loren… you should really read those articles about you and Eddie."

I instantly averted my gaze to Melissa. She had moved her tray aside and looked at me intently. "No."

She sighed disapprovingly. "Look Lo, I know that the lunch probably meant just a friendly hangout between friends-"

"It was."

She narrowed her eyes and I zipped my mouth. "Maybe to you guys it did but those pictures, those analysis that a ton of people have done, the articles, witnesses hearing fragments of your conversation, witnesses who can't mind their business and carefully observed how you guys acted around each other all said the same thing: Eddie Duran and his new friend are definitely something more than "friends." Hell! Even videos show the opposite."

"Pictures? Witnesses? Videos? Analysis? Why are people so caught up in this? We are just friends…" I whispered the last part, not conscious of that fact that leaned back on the chair and sunk deeper. Are we? I mean… I evaded my own turmoil, my own conflict and proceeded to stand up. Melissa stood up as well.

"Where are you going?"

"Anywhere but here."

She shook her head, clutched my shoulders and pushed me down, forcing me to sit back down. A sly smile appeared on her face. I closed my eyes for a second to erase my thoughts, but they still lingered.

"You can't run away from the truth, Loren."

I opened my eyes only to glare at her. She waved it off and scooted her chair closer to the table. I sighed. "I find this a stupid rumor made by paparazzi and magazines who have nothing to headline."

"You say one thing but you mean another." Her sparkling brown eyes looked over at me and a smile appeared on her face. "You're saying that you're only friends. You restate it over and over again. But do you stop for once and consider how he feels about it? Do you take in consideration that maybe he feels something deeper than just "friends" about you? Loren, this man went through all the trouble to talk to you and to see you again. He never forgot about you and from what you have told me he never gave up on you and kept going up to that hill to see you again. It doesn't matter if it was twice or even once, the point is that he didn't give up on trying to make you smile. He didn't… and that's enough proof for me to say that you mean more than just a friend to him."

Melissa stood up, picked up her plate and looked at me one more time. "Just think about it Lo. Just dig deep and tell me that he never made you feel special or needed or wanted. Tell me no and I'll leave you alone."

She waited for my answer. She stood there and watched me. A knowing smile formed on her face because she knew that if I did say no, I would be lying.

"I figured."

Then she left me alone to battle my confusion. I sat there on the chair, alone, wondering that maybe there is something between us.

Maybe…

But there's a high possibility there isn't. I sighed and stood up leaving the empty table.

A cool breeze blew my way as I was walking down the small steps of the schools entrance. I took careful steps and cuddle closer to my sweater. I walked down the cemented pavement, and carefully waited for the streets to be freed from cars. Once the coast was clear, I walked across the street and ventured back home. My eyes casted down to ground, looking at my feet walk in a slow steady pace. My mind was elsewhere, and my heart pounded out of my chest.

I was turning around the corner when someone cleared their throat. I slowly looked up, leaving my gaze off my white Vans and turned my attention to the said person. My eyes widened for a mere second, then I continued walking. My path was blocked, the heels colliding against the hard floor, and her golden locks bounced in perfect synchronization with her movement. She eyed me for a moment, scrutinizing. Almost like she is trying to find something strange, different, new... something that's not there. She groaned and shook her head.

"What does he see in you?"

I raised my eyebrow and looked at her confused. "Excuse me?"

She crossed her arms and leaned closer to me. Her face was a couple centimeters away from me, her eyes narrowed and stared intently at my eyes. I slowly backed away.

"Don't pretend you don't know? What does the Eddie Duran see in you?"

"Nothing. I mean we're just-"

She ignored me and continued on her rant. "You're Loren Tate for crying out loud. Nobody likes Loren Tate. Not even the nerds who are into chess or those animated cartoons or something like that. Nobody likes you." I dismissed her remarks. "Why did Eddie choose you to hangout? I mean c'mon you're so plain and you're not even pretty."

I stepped back from her and she took the initiative to find more flaws.

"And your hair is so dull and frizzy. And OMG don't even get me started on your skin tone. Is he into vampire looking freaks?"

I rolled my eyes and walked past her. I heard her heels smack the floor, letting me know she turned around to me. "Where are you going Tate? You better come back here and apologize to me!" I shook my head and continued walking, ignoring her redundant remarks.

"You're going to pay for this!"

I turned another corner before fading from view.

As soon as the door shut behind me, my mother sprinted to the front door and bent down to catch her breath. She placed her hands on her knees and breathed heavily. I waited for her and when she looked up, I noticed the immense excitement in her eyes.

"I met Eddie today."

I raised an eyebrow and carefully nodded my head. "Okay…" She grabbed my hand and dragged me to the sofa. I found a comfortable position and laid back.

"I like him."

"Again okay?"

"And I think you should call him."

"What?"

"I said I think-"

"I heard what you said."

I stood up from the couch and walked towards my room. My mom followed suit and shut the door once we were both in. I threw my book bag over my desk and sat on my bed, kicking off my shoes.

"So are you going to call him?"

"What? No."

My mother's smile faltered, I pulled my hair back in a ponytail while she sat down next to me. She turned to face me. "Why are you so worked up on me calling him?"

"Because I approve."

"Of what?"

"Of both of you."

"Oh well thank you for your approval mom, but we're friends. Just friends." I lay on the bed. Her eyes following my every movement. She heaved a sigh and shook her head. "Loren…" I waited for to continue; when she didn't I stood up. I didn't miss her eyes filled with complete sadness. I walked towards my table and flopped down on the chair opening my laptop. Her eyes were still on me. She let out a hardly audible sigh.

"Honey, you can't be afraid your whole life."

"Who said I was afraid?"

I snapped. My eyes closed, and I controlled myself again. "Sorry." I muttered. She walked over to me and grasped my shoulders, squeezing it reassuringly. "I just want you to be happy." I stared at the white screen and shook my head. "I am happy."

"No Honey, you're not. And I can see it in your eyes."

"What makes you think I'm happy with Eddie?"

I whispered but her keen ears heard it. She smiled. "Because ever since you've met him, you're livelier, lighter in way, like a heavy load has been off your back. And do you honestly think I am oblivious to your conversations very early in the morning? No Honey, I hear it all. I instantly wake up when I hear your gasps, but stop from opening the door when I hear your quiet words, and you're better." My hands turned into fists and I shook my head. "What about you mom? You haven't been on a date since-"

"Don't turn this around me Honey."

I looked up to meet her eyes, and regretted doing so. I saw my nightmares being reflected in her dull orbs. The torment that always replays in my mind is shown in her eyes. I can't see my reflection, only my worst nightmare. She averted her gaze away me and smiled. I knew that smile too well. She opened the door and looked at me one more time. "Don't let him go Loren. Don't let Eddie get away because if you do, you'll live with what if's and why's for the rest of your life. And you don't want that. As for me… let's just say I'm not going to let Trent ruin my life. I'm not going let him ruin yours either, so please think about it… I just know that Eddie cares for you too much, I know that it pains him to see you hurt and in denial."

The door closed behind her and I continued to stare at the screen. I closed my eyes, attempting to stop the incoming tears. My eyes were welling up from tears. A tear betrayed me and it rolled down my cheek. I rapidly wiped it away and concentrated on what to write for my report. My mind was off for a few minutes before it was interrupted by vibrations coming from my book bag. I reluctantly got up and took it out. I stared at the screen for three rings before answering. I swallowed and waited anxiously for his voice to appear on the other line.

"Loren?"

"Yeah… Eddie."

"You picked up!"

"Of course I did. Why? Didn't think I'd answered you?"

"I thought you would answer but only to yell "Leave me alone" and then hang up on me… again."

I smiled. "Well I didn't do any of the above so what happened?"

He was silent for a few moments before sighing. "So I was wondering that we should get together tomorrow for Valentine's….or today. It doesn't matter. Anyways… um I don't really want to spend it alone and I figured since you're my Valentine and I'm yours we can spend it together… if you want."

I held my breath. "Maybe."

"Oh. Why don't I like the sound of that?"

"I don't know. Maybe could mean yes."

"It could mean no, too. But you should come, I texted you my address. So pop up anytime you want."

"I should."

"You should."

"So I'll talk to you later."

"Yeah sure. Anytime Beautiful."

I tapped the end call and sat down on the chair. I sighed and closed the laptop. A smile appeared and I bit my lip to disperse it. I began tapping on the chair in anxiety. I instantly looked at the time.

3:48

I stood up and went straight to my mom's room.

I have no clue what came over me, but I needed to see him again.

"Okay honey, call me as soon as he tries to lay a hand on you inappropriately and Momma Tate will appear and beat the living hell out of him."

"Wow I never believed there would come a day where I would here you say that."

"Well you know what they say, 'First time is charmer.' Now go so you can leave early and come back to me. I still can't believe I'm allowing you to go to a grown man house. Or penthouse. Whatever just hurry up."

I got out of the car and watched the car drive off the entrance. I walked into the unfamiliar building. A friendly man with a kind smile welcomed me. "Good afternoon. How may I help you?"

I made my way towards him and he smiled warmly. "I'm here to see Eddie Duran."

He nodded knowingly but his smile faded. "You must be Loren Tate?"

"Yeah."

He looked at a paper conflicted. But nonetheless, he shook his head, pressed a red button and walked over to the elevator. "Are you okay?" I asked but he coaxed me to get in. "Yes. I am… I supposed she's left down the back exit."

I couldn't ask any further questions as the elevator doors closed. I leaned back on the metal walls and looked up at the numbers light up, correlating to the increasing height. What did he mean by she?

My thoughts were interrupted when the bell rung and the metallic doors opened. I stepped out and looked for number 1901. Just my luck, it was the first door right next to the elevator. I stared at the number and I was about to knock when I noticed the door was slightly opened. I deliberated on whether to open or not.

He probably forgot to close it… that doesn't sound right. I shrugged and decided to go in. I pushed the door lightly and walked in uninvitingly.

I was received uninvitingly.

My mouth opened slightly, my eyes were silently welling up with tears, my heart was pounding and I stood frozen in place as realization struck me hard like a lightning bolt. Worse. Like I was captured by a swirling tornado, which spun me around for a few seconds but those seconds felt like hours and when I did land on the ground. I collided against the ocean, stomach first, and I drowned deeper and deeper. Realizing that my mom, Mel, all those articles, all those tabloids, all those hopes, all those questions were wrong.

I was right.

I should've listened to myself. I should've never growned attached to him.

My eyes followed the scene in front of me. The two figures on an unbreakable lock. Wondering hands, smacking of lips and impatient sounds. I casted down my eyes. This shouldn't hurt but it does.

One Eddie. The other a woman.

I recognized her. His ex, the one he had called quits. I looked up at them and a bitter smile formed. I didn't cry, I sustained the tears and silently began to turn around. To leave this place, I clutched the door knob.

"What the hell are you doing?"

His strong, demanding voice filled with rage and fury shouted at her. She whimpered and I cursed as I was still in the room. Shit. I grasped the door knob and took two step forwards, hoping that he doesn't notice me.

"Loren?"

I flinched at his tone. "Is that you?"

I bit my lip and nodded my head, turning around to face him. He had made a great distance between her and him. She had a triumphant smile on her face, and complete terror took over his. I avoided his gaze and he took a step forward. "What are you doing here?" He barely managed to get out, almost like he choked before he was able to say it. I looked up at him and shrugged. The tears wanted to come out again. "You invited me so I thought I can pass by. I'm sorry… for interrupting this."

"You're not wanted here little girl."

She spoke and I nodded. "Sorry."

"Don't listen to her, Loren. You didn't interrupt anything, she was just leaving."

My arm was back to my side and I stood there, contemplating on leaving. "It's okay; I'll leave you guys alone." I turned around but Eddie rushed to me, grabbed my hand and stopped me from leaving the door.

"Please stay. Don't leave."

His eyes were pleading me, begging me to stay. I stared hopelessly at him and he shook his head, his eyes telling me something that I couldn't decipher.

"Chloe leave."

"What? But babe-"

"Leave! You and I have nothing else to say. Now go."

He pulled me inside, and I longed to be out. Chloe stomped on the floor but complied. When she was at the opened door she turned around to look at me with a smirk on her face. The same triumphant look. "Listen little girl, I recommend for you to leave right now and never come back because Eddie doesn't want you. He's using you. And when he gets what he wants he'll just throw-"

"Leave!" He walked towards the door, pushed her outside and shut the door with so much anger. But her words had already sunk deep. I registered each and every word and I began to wonder. Am I just another toy to be played with? I stared at the ground. But I was soon looking at his iridescent brown eyes. He lifted my chin with his hand; with the other hand he gently stroked my cheek. He swallowed and he still had that pleading look.

Don't believe her. Nothing's going on. Please don't believe her.

"Loren let me explain, nothing happened-"

"You don't have to explain anything to me."

I pulled away from his caresses and stood a few feet away from him. I ran a hand through my hair and Eddie stepped closer. "I have to. I mean after what you saw I need to tell you. Loren, I don't want things to be bad between us. "

"We're nothing Eddie." I blurted out. He shook his head. "Don't say that…"

"We're just friends… remember. So you don't have to tell me anything about your love life."

"Love life? Loren there's nothing between Chloe and I. We're over. Please believe-"

"Eddie… I-I have to go." I pushed him away, but he didn't let me go. I looked at our intertwined hands, his gripping my small hand tight.

"Let me explain myself. Chloe just barged-"

"Is it true?"

He shut his eyes and controlled his ache and outrage. "What's true?" He choked.

"What Chloe said… that I'm only another toy for you to use."

He cupped both of my cheeks and looked intently at my eyes. I froze, my eyes widened and he breathed heavily. "Don't." He regained his composure. "No Loren. You mean more than that. Don't believe a single word she told you. Never second guess me. Loren, please, you know I care about you. Wha-why are you doubting me?"

I looked away from him and shrugged. "I guess I'm used to being treated so harshly that it wouldn't be a surprised if those were your intentions."

"I'm never going to hurt you, Loren. Please know that."

You already did.

I slipped out of his embraced and walked towards the door again.

"Don't go… Stay with me." I held the door knob tight. "I-I think it's better if we stopped seeing each other for a while. Maybe we can get our heads cleared out and see what we want. I don't know… we just know each other for a couple of weeks for crying out loud!" An endless stream of tears were rolling down my cheeks, my vision blurred and I wanted to terminate what I'm feeling right now. I should trust him. I should… but it feels like I can't. I shouldn't feel like this, but I'm stuck in the past. And the past is silently killing me. I should believe him, but why do I feel like he could be lying to me? I'm nothing special. I'm no one.

I'm worthless.

And maybe he saw that, he saw how useless and broken I am and decided to play with me for a while. Making me feel special and wanted, but that was probably a façade. A part of his game. Maybe Adrianna and Chloe are right. Why would Eddie Duran like Broken Loren Tate?

"I need you Loren."

All his sweet words, all his gestures. They were fake, too.

"Please stay with me."

He pushed the slightly opened door with his hand and it stayed there, right beside me. With his free hand, he grabbed my waist and turned me to face him. Pain and anguish were all written over his features. His body was tense and gently he caressed my cheek, wiping the tears away. I went back to earlier today, when Melissa told me she's positive that Eddie likes me. And I hate her for getting my hopes high but I hate myself more for letting her. I went back to my mom when she came in the room and excitedly approved of him, encouraging me to go for it. Poor mother, how disappointed she'll be. I went back to the kind doorman; maybe if he didn't let me up, I wouldn't be where I am at this instant. I went back to a few minutes ago when I noticed the opened door. I should've stepped back and left. I should've, that would've saved me. Why?

He leaned closer to me, a few centimeters separating us. "Believe me when I tell you how beautiful you are. Believe me how it pains me, it hits me in the gut, when you deny it. Since I've met you, not a few weeks ago, but two years ago in our spot. Since that day, I knew I wanted to be a part of your life. And when you disappeared all of the sudden, I didn't know what to do. I felt so lonely, because who was I going to talk to up on that hill? Then I met you again and this time I wasn't going to let you go. I tried everything to be around you Loren. I tried everything to see you again. There hasn't been a minute of the day that you don't cross my mind."

Please stop.

"Nothing compares to you Beautiful. Nothing will ever, ever compare to how you make me feel."

No more.

"I've never seen nothing like you... So please stay with me. Don't go."

"Please... Let me go Eddie."

"No."

He placed his other hand on my other side, preventing any escape. I shook my head and gripped his shirts with my fists.

"Let me go."

"No Loren."

I pushed him, but he only tightened his hold. Tears rolled down, and I pleaded. He shook his head and leaned closer. His body was firm, his face indignant. With my small fists I plundered on his chest. "Let me go." I repeated. But he never listened; instead he pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around me. How can a day make a bad turn? How can something beautiful turn out to be a lie?

How can this be happening? Lies. Lies. Lies. All of it is a lie. I'm just here to be used and then to be thrown away. It was too good to be true.

My body shook, my head was spinning, my heart was caving in, and everything was becoming blurry. But Eddie's embrace was only becoming stronger by the second. I wanted to be out of here but he didn't let me. I want an escape. I thought he was it, but lies. He deceived me into believing it. So much confusion. My head can't stop spinning.

"Stay."

"Eddie-"I choked. "You're hurting me."

His body froze, his embrace loosened and I was able to get out. The last thing I saw before I got out of there was his face. Filled with distress and pain. The last thing I saw was his fist collide against the wall. And I left.

He never did chase after me.

But what did I expect?

So I'm still with this story. It'll be short :o. Well hope you like it. I don't know, all my creative juices are like gone. Anyways, I'll probably rewrite this chapter later, It didn't make a sense to me at some parts. Anyways, reviews are lovely :).

Stay True,

Leddiexx