by Mara S. S.
Her father was a doll maker, the old fashioned kind. She remembered how she used to sit in his lap and watched him sew doll sized clothes, watched him sculpt the wooden bodies, and watched him paint the porcelain faces. The Himeno's were not well off, but Fumi's childhood was happy with her many friends. She'd play with the dolls, talk to them, listen to them. They would have tea parties and she'd imagine herself dressed up in a fancy kimono serving tea to her friends. She'd mother them, care for them, teach them and the whole time they'd sit and watch with their adoring, perfect white faces. They were more real to her than people and she learned the art of their making from her father.
Over time, her eyes turned away from her dolls and wandered instead to the young men of her town. One in particular paid very close attention to her. One thing then led to another and suddenly, barely out of childhood, she found herself carrying a child. The boy who so professed to love her, left her instead, and her family was shamed. Fumi was still happy however, at the thought of the child taking shape beneath her heart. A doll that was alive, hers to love and care for.
Then a pool of blood one day flowing from between her legs. Shock, and tears. A small voice, silenced, before it even breathed its first cry. Hazy faces leaning over her, speaking gently, speaking words she did not understand, words of comfort and sadness. She was young, very young, and her body not suited to the tasks of a mother.
Not comprehending the loss, not understanding what had gone wrong, Fumi saw nothing more that was beautiful about life. Her father watched her in silence. Then one day, he presented her with a doll. No ordinary doll it was. This one was life sized, its body like that of an eleven year old child with a pale perfect face, and long violet hair.
Fumi had lost her interest in dolls though, and so the life like doll gathered dust sitting in a corner in Fumi's room. Fumi's heart only had room for grief, grief for the child she never knew, would never more know. It was a peculiar sort of grief, losing what she didn't yet have in the first place. Such dark thoughts filled her mind and nothing her father or mother tried to do could make her smile again.
At that time, when Fumi had lost everything, a hand reached out to her. The doll opened it's mouth and spoke to her. Fumi was surprised but clasped the proffered hand, her heart awakened once more. From that time on, everything she had became Mashiro's. Mashiro gently guided her out of the trough of despair.
Fumi learned much in the time that followed. Truths about herself and her destiny. Truths she might have been better off not knowing. She did not ask to be a HiME and she hated the cruelty of the Festival. But for Mashiro-sama's sake, she would stay her course and remain at Mashiro's side.
She could not remain there forever though. Mashiro had left, five years ago, at the end of the Festival. Of course, Fumi thought, her crystal has shattered by now. So Fumi was alone again. Without her child, her Child, and her heart. Mashiro had been the previous Festival's sacrifice to the HiME star. The doll body grew weaker as time passed, confining Mashiro to a wheelchair. Her strength was being sapped by the HiME star through the crystal her true body was trapped in. That crystal was destroyed five years ago, when the winner of the current Festival emerged triumphant.
Fumi built another doll herself, not as large as Mashiro, but still in her image. It sat now on the desk in her laboratory at Garderobe, where she was packing the latest batch of dematerializers into large boxes. Mashiro watched her, blank eyes staring adoringly. It sometimes made Fumi miss Mashiro even more, but at other times it was just a comfort having a Mashiro-like doll watching her. Realistically, Fumi knew that the end Mashiro had come to was inevitable, but it didn't help to ease the pain of knowing she was gone.
That trickster Nagi was gone as well. He served well the vessel of the Obsidian Lord's but had to return to Valhalla at the Festival's conclusion. He was allowed on earth to guide the Festival, to perpetuate the cycle that protected the world from destruction. If Midori was right though, they had a chance to end the vicious cycle and spare future HiMEs from the fate they were bound to. After all, Mashiro believed in the spirited HiME so Fumi similarly put her trust in the general.
After the establishment of the rebellion, Fumi took on the task of studying what remained of M. I. Y. U. and became the Director for Special Research. In the middle of the chaos right after the final battles of the Festival, they were able to recover Miyu's body. It resembled nothing more than a helpless doll, battered and broken. It was impossible to return her to any semblance of functionality after the thorough beating it received at Mikoto's hands. Fumi, along with Dr. Youko and a few renegade scientists from various countries, were able to create devices they christened "mini Miyus". Constructing a full scale android was beyond their capabilities but they were able to replicate the dematerializer that was incorporated into Miyu's body. The final version of the mini Miyu resembled the blue haired android in no way whatsoever, but the name was still catchy and so it stuck.
HiMEs have the ability to materialize solid objects from photons, which are very small particles of energy present everywhere, in light and in other forms of radiation. HiMEs are able to subconsciously manipulate the bonds between sub atomic particles so they can 'glue' the photons together in a certain form.
In a way, it was surprising that no one had thought of researching in such a direction before. It was probably that while bonding between different photons occurred naturally, it was normally difficult to strengthen the bonds to such an extent as to be able to create a solid object. Fumi's research group used small batches of photons to test their theories and they were reasonably sure their mini Miyus would work on larger objects.
There were a few things they still couldn't account for though. Fumi and the rest were never really able to explain why only girls had manifested this ability. They also couldn't explain why the HiMEs showed an affinity for a certain weapon, their Element. Theoretically, HiMEs could materialize anything and that brought up amazing possibilities. And even given what Fumi learned from Mashiro, the technical details of the workings of the Eleven Pillars were beyond her. She speculated that there was some sort of collector beneath the pillars that materialized a HiME's most important person, but since she couldn't examine the pillars themselves, speculation was all she could do.
Their first attempt at a dematerializer had been a large clunky metal box that rattled when they tested it. Their next one resembled a light saber, and the one after that was shaped like a gun. The gun form had been mildly disastrous, causing an explosion in their laboratories. Eventually, they became more and more efficient at designing a machine to dissolve the bonds between photons. One thing they realized from their mistakes was that a dematerializer best took the form of a blade rather than a projectile.
The process was complicated but their final design was shaped like a small knife. Akane had begged them for a broadsword she could swing about but they'd unanimously turned that down, pointing out that she could hardly carry a large sword around. Akane sulked for a while until Fumi agreed to let her and Akira test the knives they made. They'd had to take into account the need to smuggle a weapon into Japan past the heavy airport security so it was back to the drawing board once more for the Special Research division. Their new task was to construct a way to conceal the mini Miyus.
They received many suggestions, to hide them in laptops, in shoes, in bags. Fumi's favorite was Yukino's suggestion of concealing the mini Miyus in crutches and wheelchairs since the authorities would probably be more lenient in their inspections of those. The one that really cracked both Fumi and Dr. Youko up though, was Nao's suggestion.
During one of Nao's visits to Garderobe, the HiMEs who regularly stayed in Garderobe – Midori, Fumi, Akira and Yukino – along with Dr. Youko, had gathered in Akira's room to catch up with Nao's latest escapades with her gang in the urban areas she had influence on. Naturally, Midori and Dr. Youko, always the co-conspirants, had brought the alcohol along.
Midori was halfway drunk when she began spouting out ideas of where to hide a mini Miyu. With every cup she drank, her ideas got wilder and wilder until finally, an irate Nao told her just where she could put the mini Miyus. Fumi doubted it was anatomically possible, but the resulting mess, which ended with Midori puking all over Nao, was quite amusing to watch.
They'd ended up developing various ways to conceal the mini Miyus and they proceeded with its mass production. At the moment, Fumi was bringing the latest batch to the soldiers who would keep them.
"Over here Fumi-san!"
Fumi struggled with the heavy box she was carrying and headed over to where Dr. Youko had called her. Garderobe's hangar was extremely busy, with pilots and technicians everywhere repairing and performing maintenance on their planes. Military personnel were training in the open area to the right, where Dr. Youko was waving to her.
Throughout Garderobe, one could hear an excited murmur as everyone prepared for the upcoming mission. They hoped this would be the 'battle to end all battles' if everything went according to plan. Advanced forces had already left, and the rest were either leaving or preparing to leave soon. Fumi herself would be leaving in a few days, as soon as the last batch of mini Miyus were finished.
General Midori was everywhere, as always. Encouraging, and supervising. Despite her carefree ways in private, the general was a well respected leader who brought them through the tough times still intact. Midori cared for the people under her and it really showed. She also had good ideas – when in her sober leader mode – such as the wide spread distribution of the mini Miyus.
The mini Miyus were now being distributed to all their soldiers, pilots, operatives, and even most of the non-combatant personnel. If ever things went completely wrong with the upcoming mission, at least there would be people left who could possibly take on the difficult mission of dematerializing the Eleven Pillars.
Fumi carried the box full of mini Miyus carefully and when she got closer, Dr. Youko rushed over to help her. The doctor led her to where the 2nd division was lined up for inspection. Fumi watched the 'chin high, chest out, hands clasped behind backs, heels snapped together' soldiers as they waited patiently while their young commander walked down their ranks.
"At ease." Akira called out when she finished, to let her men (and women) relaxed their stances. Fumi and Youko continued unpacking the box and Akira turned to them, her serious expression becoming more friendly.
"Is that enough for everyone?"
"Yes it is." Fumi replied, straightening up from the large box and brushing a wayward strand of hair back into place.
A muffled voice coming from inside the box said "Give us another week and each of them can have two!"
Akira chuckled and smiled faintly. "Thank you doctor, but I think one will be fine." Her voice louder now, she turned to the watching soldiers. "Forrest! Smith! Help unpack these!"
"Sir!" A crisp salute later, two pairs of hands took over the task of unpacking and distributing the dematerializers. Fumi smiled in gratitude and Dr. Youko poked her head back up out of the box. The two of them then made their leave of the young warrior and left the busy hangar, Dr. Youko to make her rounds at the infirmary, and Fumi to head down the quieter corridors leading to the research laboratories.
When she entered her lab, Midori was there waiting for her. Midori was sitting on her desk when she came in, Fumi's doll cradled gently in her lap. Midori looked up as the door creaked open and respectfully put the Mashiro like doll back down on the desk before facing Fumi.
"You've distributed the latest batch?"
Fumi's eyes tightened and her lips compressed into a thin line as she hovered beside the door. "Yes."
Midori's face was sad and regretful as she walked out the room, her direction making Fumi move out of the general's path. Halfway through the door, Midori clasped Fumi's shoulder and said, "I'm sorry."
Fumi turned to the general, her expression softening. "I know you thought it best."
"Still, I hope God can forgive us."
Fumi met the general's eyes, eyes that like her were burdened with responsibility. "He will. He always does."
Midori nodded and left, gently closing the door. Fumi stared at the closed door and wondered But can we ever forgive ourselves?
What the other HiMEs didn't know, was that just as photon bonds can be shattered, so can other sub atomic bonds. The explosion from one of their earlier projectile models had shown them other uses for the dematerializers. In effect, the mini Miyus she'd just distributed could be turned into bombs whose potential for destruction rivaled even the worst explosions Nao had ever caused. The mini Miyus she'd just distributed to the soldiers under Akira's care. Like little dolls, they'd marching on their own merry way, never knowing the power Fumi now held over them.
She sometimes wondered who was the worst among them. Akane, who would do anything to reach her target without ever considering the casualties? Nao, who took a bleak pleasure in the destruction she could cause? Or herself, who made unknowing suicide bombers out of those who trusted her?
Fumi sat down by her desk and held the Mashiro doll in her arms. She straightened the dress and buried her face in the soft violet hair, missing the child she'd never known once more.
It wasn't fair of her to judge who was the worst, she knew. All the HiMEs had their own sins to account for.
If it was for the one they loved, any sin could be committed. But still, not every sin can be forgiven.
TBC
Disclaimer: Mai HiME belongs to Sunrise