Chapter 5
Janet was in the flower shop the next day. She was talking to some customers about a flower arrangement for their daughter's engagement party, when she spied Jack looking at her through the glass windows. Oh no! he didn't tell me he was coming today! Janet panicked at first thinking that Jack had figured everything out and was coming for his son. She immediately regretted having told him where she worked and irrationally thought she'd disappear like she'd done before. Jack came in and patiently waited for her to be done.
Full of trepidation, Janet came up to Jack when she had finished with the customers. "Jack! What are you doing here?" "I'm here to take you out for lunch before I have to go into the restaurants" Jack told her, smiling pleasantly.
Janet visibly relaxed and willed herself to stay relaxed "Jack, I-I can't… thank you, but I have a lot of work…" Jack wouldn't take no for an answer "Don't you get a lunch break?" "I do, but I just brought a sandwich and I was going to catch up on some paperwork in the back while I ate…" "Nonsense, come, we'll go right across the shop," Jack pointed at a little coffee shop across the street through the shop's window "See? right over there. It'll do us good to take our minds off work" Janet couldn't help but smile. She was hungry and spending a half hour with Jack sounded much more enticing than paperwork. After all, hadn't they done this numerous times as roommates?
They sat down to lunch and talked mostly about their jobs and other inconsequential things. Janet at one point asked Jack if he had told Larry about her being back. Jack said no. He wasn't sure if he should and he'd leave it up to her "Whenever you're ready I'll take you to Jack's Bistro to say hi to him" Janet looked down "Thank you, I don't think I'm quite ready yet…" Jack placed his hand on top of Janet's which was resting on the table and gently squeezed.
Janet looked up at him, instantly feeling her hand tingle at his touch. "Janet, I'm not here to push you. We can take this as slow as you want.. Plus I don't think I'm ready to share you, yet. I just found you and I want to enjoy your company for a while without any welcoming committees" Jack said with a grin on his face. Her hand felt warm and small under his. He longed to lace his fingers with hers, but restrained himself as he looked into her beautiful eyes. He could see the trepidation in them.
Janet blushed at his words and squirmed in her seat. That lopsided smile of his had always made her insides turn to jelly. She slowly took her hand away from Jack's. At this gesture, Jack immediately said "I'm sorry, I've made you uncomfortable…" "No, it's not that…. Jack I don't know if this is such a good idea. After all, we didn't part as just friends…"
Jack was surprised that Janet had brushed the subject about them at all, but he didn't want her to bolt and right now it sounded like she was back-pedalling about them starting a friendship again. He couldn't let her do that so he quickly said "Janet, we are trying to be friends and I think we're doing ok for it just being two day's worth of trying. Don't worry please. Just relax, we'll cross bridges when we come to them" His clear, kind eyes looked at her serenely.
She smiled back at him. Jack had always had that knack of being able to calm her down. He knew when she panicked and got all flustered, jumping ahead of herself "You're right, I'm sorry. It's been six years you know…" "I know…" Jack said quietly. It was said very emotionally, emphasizing those two words. Janet had the distinct feeling he had not been a happy camper all this time either, regardless of his success.
Lunch was over too soon, Jack thought, but it didn't matter. This was their new beginning and so far Janet had not been spooked. He walked her across the street to the flower shop. His hand lightly resting on the small of her back.
Once at the shop Jack gave her a light peck on the cheek, thanking her for having lunch with him. She smiled and waved bye as she went in. Janet thought her senses were going to overload as once out of sight, she tenderly touched her cheek where he had kissed her, his light goatee tickling it once again and her back missing the feeling of his warm hand. Janet had a silly smile on her face Oh Janet, you're falling for him again….Did I ever fall out? She asked herself as she gathered her paperwork.
When Jack arrived at work his employees immediately picked up on his relaxed attitude. Looking and whispering amongst themselves at their boss' demeanour, they wondered what was going on.
Jack was whistling and had a carefree expression. Larry came up to him "Buddy, what has happened? You look like a brand new shiny penny! I like, I like…" Larry was genuinely happy to see his long time friend looking like a million bucks. Jack told him that it was exactly how he felt, but didn't elaborate. Larry didn't push, reminding himself how private Jack was now about his personal life.
Jack went to the back, checked everything was in order. He asked Larry if they needed to call any more of the night part time staff, Larry said no, everything was running smoothly. As Jack left, Larry immediately thought that there must be a lady involved, and knowing his friend, she must be very special. Jack had changed from being a lady's man to a no lady's man. He was all work, but seeing him just now, he would bet his bottom dollar that his friend had met someone, finally! Larry gave a low chuckle, hoping that finally he'd have his good buddy Jack back after many years.
Jack went to his other restaurant. There, he found, was a different story. Some waiters had called in sick. They would be short for tonight's rush. Paperwork was missing and on and on it went. Little things here and there that had Jack busy well into the night. Being the owner/manager was a very busy task when the restaurant was as popular as this one was becoming. He made a mental note to put an ad out for a manager.
Next day was no different. Jack's Second, being a new restaurant needed most of Jack's attention. He wondered for the umpteenth time why he hadn't asked Janet for her home phone number. At least he could have called her at home. He missed her already and it had been only two days since he'd seen her. But despite all of the problems at Jack's Second, at the end of the day he seemed to plop down in bed, exhausted but content, and fall into a dreamless, restful sleep. Something that had eluded him for years.
On Saturday, a little light bulb went off in his head while he was tracking some more missing paperwork. Jack knew Janet was at work. He promptly told one of his employees to look up the flower shop's phone number, and wondered why he hadn't thought about doing that before.
He went into his office to call her. "Good afternoon this is Miss Wood, how can I help you?" Ahh, the sweet sound of her voice he thought "Hi Janet, it's me Jack" "Oh, hi Jack" "Listen Janet, I've been totally swamped with work here at the new restaurant, but I was wondering if tomorrow, being it Sunday and all, you and your son would like to join me for lunch?" He could hear her hesitation, and he silently prayed that she'd say yes, crossing his fingers.
Janet was surprised. She had not expected Jack to call her at work, let alone ask her and little Jack out to lunch what to do, what to do? She quickly thought, Jack's waiting for an answer… and then hesitantly gave in "O-ok …I guess. But I must warn you, he's a picky eater…" "Don't worry, we'll figure something out, even if we just go to a McDonald's around the corner" Janet laughed saying alright, but it was his stomach that was going to suffer afterwards since he was so used to eating gourmet all the time. Jack chuckled at that "Good, I'll pick you guys up around noon" They rang off. Jack couldn't believe that he would see Janet again for the third time in the same week! He couldn't thank his lucky stars enough.
Janet hung up the phone and pondered at her nervousness. It wasn't a bad nervousness per se, it was more like excitement. Was she excited? Yes! she was, she answered herself. She wanted to see Jack. She admitted to herself that she had missed him these three days. This past week, he had not been very far from her mind. However, she still worried about him finding out about little Jack, but as long as Jack thought that her son had a father somewhere else, he wouldn't clue in. No harm in going to lunch, right?
Janet was trying to comb her son's hair into a somewhat tidy do. His light brown hair wasn't curly, but wavy enough that when it grew longer it just went it's own way. Janet reminded herself to take him for a haircut soon as she wondered for the umpteenth time, who in Jack's family could have this hair, for she knew it didn't come from her straight-haired family. Little Jack was fidgeting. He kept looking out their apartment window to see if he saw the neat car parking at the curb.
Finally he said excitedly "Mom, Mom! He's here. I love his car, it's so neat. I want to get the Hot Wheels version of it. Can I mom?" Janet smiled lovingly "We'll see. Promise me you'll be on extra good behaviour today and then maybe I'll pick one up for you" "Yay!" he said jumping up and down, then he ran to the door, opened it and was out as fast as a lightning bolt, racing down the stairs to the main door.
Janet quickly picked their sweaters off of the couch, locked her door and raced down the stairs after her son loudly calling "Sweetheart, don't run off like that…" her words died on her mouth as she emerged from the front doors of the building, coming to a full stop as she saw Jack carrying her son. His son! Janet thought wildly, her hand clutching at her chest. Everything played out in slow motion for her. They were both laughing as she saw Jack give him a peck on the cheek and put him down. Jack held the boy's hand and turned to wait for Janet. "Come on you slow poke, my buddy here can't wait, he has a need for speed!"
Janet let out a breath she wasn't aware she'd been holding and somehow managed to walk towards them. Her feet felt like lead. Her stomach burning with nausea at the sight that had greeted her. Relax she told herself, putting a smile on her face Don't make a fuss, you'll give yourself away…. She had to admit that this was what she had set herself up for the minute she had agreed to being friends again. Agreeing to today's lunch outing hadn't helped either.
However, they had a wonderful time. Jack took them to Chuk E. Cheese's. Not very glamorous but Jack thought it the best place for Janet's son to have fun. They enjoyed their pizza and talked while little Jack played until his heart's content. Janet had insisted that Jack not get him anymore tokens for the games, but Jack had told her to let him have fun. "You're going to spoil him" Janet said, feigning to be upset. Jack smiled and said "Janet, I have no kids of my own, so if I can't spoil him, who am I going to spoil?"
Janet's heart did a little lurch and squeeze at hearing Jack say that. She picked up on the sadness of his tone and wondered for a fleeting second if she should tell him…NO! This is good. This is safe, comfortable. Just friends just friends just friends..' She chanted this to herself over and over again.
She noticed Jack had been saying something and she tried to focus on his words. "I'm sorry Jack, I zoned out there for a bit…" "How many miles away were you?" he asked, not angrily, but she detected a little annoyance, at what?
Jack had actually thought that Janet was thinking about the boy's father as her eyes had been focused on her son. Jealousy getting the best of him, he impulsively asked "Did you love him?" Janet was confused "Who?" "Your son's father…did you love him very much? Did he hurt you very much by leaving?" Jack couldn't believe he had blurted all that out, but his burning need to know if Janet still had feelings for this other man, and how quickly she had forgotten their night together overpowered his sense of tact. Jack just hoped that Janet wouldn't panic because knowing Janet, that would mean the end of their beginning as friends.
Janet thought for a few minutes. Thought hard on how to answer and her inner voice told her once again, stick with the truth…he doesn't need to know it's him …. "Yes, Jack …I did love him, very much. With all my heart…but he didn't leave. It was I who left. You see, it would've never worked out. But I think I was the lucky one because look what I got, my angel" Janet said, her voice full of tenderness as her eyes once again strayed towards the place where her son was happily playing.
Mixed feelings crossed his heart in seconds. Sadness at knowing Janet had hurt, jealousy at the realization that her heart still belonged to someone else. Suddenly, it dawned on him that Janet had left! He had naturally assumed that it had been the other way around when she had told him that the boy's father was no longer in the picture. At that thought a little anger surfaced too. It seemed Janet was in the habit of leaving. She hadn't only left him, she had also left her son's father. Irrational as it was, Jack felt for the guy, whoever he was. He could completely relate. So in a serious tone he asked "How could you leave him if you loved him so much? How could you not tell him he has a son. If I were him I'd love to know that I have son. Look how many years the poor guy's missed out already."
Janet was startled at Jack's outburst. Guilt coursed through her heart. Stick to the truth… her mind said. "Well, Jack…you see…it wasn't easy for me to leave, but I knew it wouldn't have worked out...I did almost call him, when I first found out I was expecting. But I thought about his career. He was just starting out. He would have had to quit his dream. Would have had to get a full time job outside his field, and eventually he would have ended up resenting me or both of us….so I just decided to leave things as they were. I'd rather have those sweet memories of him, than his hate" She finished quietly. Her eyes looking at her hands on the table, clasped tightly in a nervous gesture.
Jack couldn't understand "Janet, but you never gave him the choice! You just bolted like…" then Jack just went quiet. He raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. She still didn't know how he really felt about her. How much he had hurt once she had left "Look, I understand you did the really decent thing most people wouldn't have done and took the brunt of it, but you didn't have to, you know. If I'd thought I'd gotten someone pregnant I would have stuck it out. I could've held two jobs" Janet interrupted him, a little angry herself at Jack's unrealistic view and with a lift of her chin defiantly said "Oh really? At what price Jack Tripper? Two jobs? Trying to create recipes and manage your new restaurant, with what time? How could you have afforded that? Plus coming home to a tired mom, crying baby, trying to make ends meet? You sure you wouldn't for just one minute think how nice and uncomplicated it would be to be single again? And that one thought would have been the beginning of the end…." She pressed her lips together, then continued on as she saw Jack just looking at her "Look, I'm not trying to justify myself. I know I should have told him, maybe someday I still will. But for now, I think I made the right decision" She looked away, her face flushed from her outburst That had been too close, waaay to close… Janet thought alarmingly. Jack just kept on staring at her, pondering at her words. Jack decided not to push. Yes, he could see what she was saying. But maybe that guy was not like him. He would have stuck it out…
Janet was still shocked at Jack's reaction. It had made her rethink her whole decision. Had she been rash in leaving and not sticking around to hear Jack out after their one night of passion? That question had haunted her for many years…. And then not telling him about their son? Now she really couldn't tell him. After his reaction, Janet knew without a doubt that if he ever found out, he would indeed hate her. But he doesn't know, doesn't have to know. We could be just like this, just friends just friends….' Her brain once again chanted her newfound mantra.
After that awkward moment passed, they resumed talking about trivialities. But somewhere, there was a burden lifted off of Jack's shoulder's. Now he knew Janet had not been frivolous as he had thought at the beginning. She had truly loved her son's father. His Janet was still the same girl he remembered, with her same values intact. Maybe she had panicked after our night together and that's why she had left? Jack thought. Who could blame her, it happened so fast, and Jack had never really told her how he'd felt. Now, in hindsight he thought he should have said something that night. Did she feel like he had used her? Jack hoped not, because that's definitely not what it had meant to him. He had made love for the first time in his life! But apparently she had found the love of her life shortly after.
Jack got up from the booth they'd been sharing and went to find Janet's son. She went with him thinking Jack would tell him that it was time to go, but instead he bought more tokens and started playing along with little Jack.
Jack played Skeeball, Basketball, car racing and to top it off they both ended up on one of those dancing platforms. Jack turned to her, laughing and dancing "Come on Janet this is fun!" "Ya mom, come on!" little Jack piped in. Janet shook her head laughing, telling them no way was she going to get up there and make a fool of herself with them! Janet looked at father and son and couldn't help a little jolt of tenderness shoot through her heart thinking it would be nice if Jack actually knew…
Finally Janet said that they should get going. Jack agreed but told her he would drive them around the beach, it was still early and that he knew of a place to get really good ice cream... "yay! Ice cream. Please don't say no mom, it's Sunday today" Janet smiled at her son as they walked to the parking lot "I know sweetheart, don't worry you can have some, but only one scoop" this she said more looking at Jack.
Jack made a face and quietly said in her ear "Party pooper" as his breath tickled the hairs by her ear, Janet felt shivers ran up and down her spine. This man is going to be my undoing! she thought as composing herself Janet whispered back "You don't have to deal with the sugar rush and putting him to bed later.." Jack quickly answered "Try me" At that Janet panicked all over again. Jack, up in her place? Putting his son to bed? No...it was too much! She kept quiet, opting to pretend she hadn't heard his last two words.
They stopped at the little ice cream shop where Jack had first seen Janet. As they were choosing their flavours, Janet had a terrifying moment once again. She had already chosen her favourite, when both Jack and his son said in unison "I'd like chocolate chip mint!" Janet froze.
Jack looked down at the boy curiously and wondered what little child would like chocolate chip mint instead of rainbow or bubble gum flavour…. "We have the same good taste, eh bud?" Jack said to the child ruffling his hair. Little Jack smiled back looking up to Jack's face and again Janet had icicles in her tummy. They both had the exact same profile. She hadn't noticed how much her son was looking like his father lately. Was being Jack's friend and letting him back into her life wise? Janet asked herself nervously, not for the first time.
Janet had been watching them so intently and pondering her situation that when Jack said to her "Janet your ice cream is melting, lick it!" Janet gave a startled jump breaking up her thoughts and to her relief Jack was already savouring his ice cream, leading little Jack to a table.
They took a table outside. The day still warm. Little Jack insisted on sitting beside Jack. "He's cool mom, he got a gazillion points in basketball and he beat the Dance Maniac!" Janet smiled tightly. She was feeling trepidation again. She looked at Jack and he was smiling broadly at her, like the cat that ate the canary. His smug smile saying see, your son likes me, told ya! Was this a good idea? This was definitely becoming Janet's question of the day. Jack and her son were too close for comfort. Janet knew she was risking it. She promised herself that these kind of outings wouldn't happen very often.
She was once again observing them together, and somehow felt like an outsider all of a sudden. They got along so well. They shared the same ice cream taste, liked their fries with lots of ketchup, didn't like green peppers on their pizza and they both loved the same sports games…
Suddenly little Jack got some ice cream on his chin, Janet had a napkin but Jack was faster. He was already wiping his mouth saying "There, all clean. Take a clean napkin and put it right there, see?" Showing him how to wrap the napkin around his cone so none would spill on him again or melt onto his chin as he licked it.
Janet just sat there, dumbfounded. Jack had cleaned his son's chin… she thought. A funny little warmth spreading through her once again, and once again that nagging thought that had come into her head several times today appeared. Specially after their conversation back at Chuck E. Cheese's. Tell him…NO! she battled against herself. I can't. It'll ruin this…this…whatever this is! She felt suddenly frustrated, confused and wanted to go home. She didn't want to see Jack with her son together anymore. It was too odd, too close. It was something she had not counted on in her plan when she had come back to Santa Monica. It had always been her and little Jack against the world. Always. Janet felt she was loosing control…
Jack drove them home. Little Jack thanked him politely for everything and asked when he would be back. "Now sweetheart, Jack here has a lot of work to do" "No Janet, it's ok, I was going to ask you if I could see you on Wednesday. You were saying it was going to be your day off from now on, right? We could do lunch and then pick him up from school just like last time..." Janet hesitated, berating herself for having told him her schedule "It sounds nice but I know you're busy during the week, and …" Jack interrupted her "Actually, I'm busiest at night. We'll do lunch and I'll have you both home way before my busy hours start…so I'm good to go for Wednesday...come on, say yes" Little Jack piped in "Yeah mommy, say yes. Then he can pick me up in this cool car and I won't get dizzy on the bus" Jack looked at Janet "Yeah mommy, say yes, listen to your son, he's wise beyond his years, aren't you bud?" Jack said this last part turning around in his seat, smiling at the child and ruffling his hair. The boy nodded in happy agreement, looking at both of them from the back seat with his clear blue eyes.
Janet was caught off guard. Mesmerized by Jack's blue eyes so like her son's, which were intently gazing at her, waiting, expecting his mommy to make him happy. She gave in. She was a sucker for blue eyes… "Oh, very well, two against one, not fair" Jack squeezed her hand, a big smile on his face. He whispered Thanks before he got out of the car and came around to walk them to the front of the building.
He really didn't like this place but it was too soon to say anything about helping her. He once again pecked her on the cheek and said he'll see her on Wednesday. He bent down and looked at the child, and impulsively hugged him and said "I had a great time today kiddo, thank you" Little Jack looked at his father's face and smiled brightly, happy and proud that he'd shown an adult a good time. Jack looked at him in the eyes saying quietly "Be good ok? Don't give mom here a hard time about going to bed, then maybe next Sunday we can play again"
Janet's heart thundered in her chest as she watched how her son had hugged his father back. Overhearing what Jack had just said to her son she put in "Jack…don't promise things…" Jack straightened up looking at Janet "Why not? If he keeps his promise, I'll keep mine and take you both out again to the same place" "Oh boy! Mom, I'm gonna be the best boy ever" Jack laughed saying "See? Wise beyond his years I say" Janet rolled her eyes at Jack and entered the building with her son, shaking her head. The hint of a smile creeping up on her face.
After putting her son to bed that night, Janet sat on her living room couch thinking. Elbows on her knees, chin in her hands. She was staring intently at the almost faded patterns on the living room rug. Her face pure concentration. She thought about how very much Jack had changed. He wasn't that clumsy half boy - half man she'd once lived with. He had an aura of confidence about him now. The confidence that only maturity combined with success gave a person. However, he still knew how to have a good time. She smiled to herself as she remembered him playing alongside her son, just as if he was her son's age. Janet found that she liked that side of Jack, had always liked that. It was that unique quality that had endeared him to her in the first place. It was what had kept her sane all those years as roommates whenever they'd had problems, specially when she worried about him and the messes he got into.
Her thoughts took her back to their conversation earlier. It had definitely brought their relationship to another level. She had felt the change in Jack. She knew he didn't think she'd slept around anymore. But he did think that she had been involved very soon after their night, with her son's father. Janet gave a half snort thinking If he only knew…. Sure there had been men who had tried to date her. She'd tried twice and given up. They were not Jack. No one would ever be. After that, she had devoted herself entirely to her son and her work. Trying to make ends meet had been tiring enough to be worrying about relationship problems.
Janet kept on thinking, and thinking hard. What to do… what to do about this whole situation. She couldn't deny how happy she was at having Jack back in her life. But at the same time she was scared. Was it wise to let him in this deep into their lives? Was she being selfish in wanting to have Jack around and not measuring the consequences? He could find out at any moment…
Suddenly she got up, resolution written all over her face. For the first time in her life Janet had no plan mapped out, her future uncertain, and she felt like she was walking on a tight rope, ready to fall at any second. Her emotions, on a big roller coaster ride. But also for the first time in her life she decided that she would play it by ear, letting fate, destiny or whatever you want to call it guide hers and Jack's friendship. Janet felt somewhat safe knowing that if things got too chaotic she could always leave.….
Not meaning to, Jack and Janet had somewhat fallen into a routine. Jack would pick up Janet on Wednesdays and have lunch. They'd catch up on their start of the week mostly talking about work. Then they'd pick up her son from school and Jack would drive them home. On Sundays he'd take them out all day. Always taking them somewhere little Jack would have tons of fun and Jack would end up playing right along with him.
Although Janet had promised that these outings wouldn't happen too often, she found herself that she also looked forward to them. Was glad that he had persuaded her to see him, and now she found she was unable to stay away from him. She couldn't imagine not seeing him those two times a week.
Now that the weather was getting a lot warmer, they'd started to spend some Sundays at the beach. Jack had almost taught Janet's son how to body surf. Now if he could only keep his eyes from straying and staring at Janet's bikini clad body. Her nearness and almost nakedness drove him to distraction. He hoped Janet didn't notice, for Jack didn't want Janet to think he was still the girl crazy guy from before.
Janet thought she was lucky, so far Jack had not even inquired her son's name. Odd, but lucky. He called him buddy, little man or cowboy. If he ever did, Janet didn't know how she was going to pull off telling him his name without giving herself away.
What Janet didn't know is that Jack had not noticed because he was still in shock of actually having Janet back in his life. The one person he had almost given up hope of ever seeing again. Shock at her being a mom and busy at keeping her from bolting from his life. Always careful not to push too much. Jack also had to admit he was growing very attached to Janet's son. It was hard not to. He was bright, and sweet. Curious about everything and constantly asking questions.
Jack smiled fondly as he remembered their Sunday at the circus not too long ago. The girl had been twirling and hanging, biting on the rope it seemed, that her partner held up from his spot on the tight rope. Everyone quiet, expecting, and suddenly Janet's son had blurted out innocently "But mommy, what if she sneezes?" Everyone within hearing range had laughed as had he. Janet had shushed him quietly and told him to watch, but silently chuckling at her son's imagination. Jack lived for those two days a week, not only to see his Janet but also her son. He reminded him so much of someone he used to know….
Both Jack and Janet, without telling each other, had silently decided they liked where they were at this point in their relationship. Their friendship definitely growing slowly but surely. Janet wanting it to stay that way and Jack never pushing. He hoped that once Janet grew more comfortable he'd find a way to finally ask her the questions he'd been longing to ask and finally telling her how he really felt about her. But he needed to be sure that Janet wanted to further their relationship or else everything he had gained would be lost.