Getting there wasn't easy. She still had that nasty nagging feeling in the back of her mind, but it was now or never. Before this situation blew out of proportion, she needed to talk and hear his answer.
"O.K., I came here to talk openly and honestly." She stated.
"Alright."
"I can't go on like this, carrying around these feelings. I want you to know that I like you, but don't feel forced to respond in any way. These feelings are there, I can't do anything about them yet, but I also couldn't go on pretending that I didn't feel anything for you, or else I would start to develop a burden too huge to carry, and I don't want that. I want to keep the memories of us together in a nice little package, and I want to be able to go to those memories and smile. If I didn't tell you all this now, you would walk out of my life again and those feelings left unsaid would start to consume me alive, little by little, until only bitterness remained. I want to be happy, with or without you, but first I need to let go of you, and I know it won't be easy. It's been too many things, too many memories, but it's ok, I'm young, I'll survive, and if you leave with her, I'll feel even more relieved. At least I'll know that you left with a nice girl." She fell silent.
He didn't have an answer.
"I apologize for making you suffer. I don't have an answer for you, I'm sorry, but also I have nothing with her." He said, pointing at Meyrin's inert body. "I get the feeling that you're trying to push me into her arms. Is that it? Do you want to push me away from you?" he asked, pain audible in his voice.
"I don't. I don't want to do anything, but I want this pain to stop. I am not pushing you to do anything, but I think it be wise to try to move on, we've hurt each other so much, that I don't think we can be together, at least not right now. We need to let these wounds heal. If we don't give each other this time, in the future, any and every time we fight or have a confrontation, all this is going to resurface and destroy what we have fought so much to gain; besides you don't even have an answer for me. I am not saying to marry her, I am just saying that if you have to choose, then choose her, (or me) not some idiot pretty girl, but if you do choose to give her a chance don't do to her what you did to me. Nobody deserves that. Do whatever your gut tells you to, but please, I am begging you, give me an answer soon. I can't go on like this, hoping for something that might never happen." She was crying by now. The tears fell freely. He felt like crying.
"I really am an idiot. I am sorry for making you cry, I am sorry for everything that I've done, but I still cannot give you an answer. Actually I can, but I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't know what I want to do. Maybe it is that I am a coward. I am scared of compromise; of getting hurt, even if I am hurting right this moment. I can 't face those fears yet."
"Typical. You could never do anything on your own could you? But I am not the one to tell you what to do. This time, you need to decide for yourself. I am glad to know that you did like me, and now I know that I shouldn't wait for you any longer. It is all now in fate's hands." She had regained her composure, the tears were gone.
He had turned his face away from her. He couldn't face her any longer. He felt like trash, he was trash.
"Well, I think I've talked too much, you must be tired, so I'll let you rest." She got up from the bed and walked away never turning back.
He would never be able to forget that.
People I have to apologize for my grammar errors, its just that I type this as I go, and so fast that I miss them. I'll try to double-check, but…. well I can't promise anything.lol….
Thanx 4 reading tho…