Day Six.
Caged.
"One question: how did we get up here again?"
"That was obviously all-"
"Your fault, right.""My fault? Why is it my fault?"
"Remember when you tried to smooth-talk us out? Right. Smooth, Lavi. Smooth."
"I only tried to help! Besides, it's you that he wants. I just accidentally came with the package!"
"Not true!"
"Yes it is! That noah guy totally has the hots for you."
"What? Naw."
"Yaw. He has been eyeballing you all week!"
"Naw."
"Yaw! I told you those phone booths were eyeballing you!"
"..."
"Right."
"You're right. I'm sorry."
"You should be!"
"For what, actually?"
"For being so undeniably sexy."
"I will not respond to that."
"You don't have to. We all know I'm right."
"You and what army?"
"Everybody, including other guys and the creepy noah guy standing underneath our giant cage."
"Wha-"
"That is indeed very true."
"Creepy noah-man."
"Shounen."
"Sooo, I'm being ignored here?"
"Shut up, Lavi."
"Hey, I'm hanging too, you know?"
"He's not planning on raping you."
"Whatever could have possibly given you that idea?"
"Iew."
"Hey, look, dude? I wasn't planning on participating in any gang rape between now and the end of November, so-"
"Lavi."
"Yeees?"
"You're in a cage."
"So?"
"You're not exactly in the position to argue about anything."
"Well, true, but-"
"Hey, he's gone."
"Who? Mister Creepy Noahman?"
"...Who else? Me?"
"Ignoring that statement."
"Fine. I will go try to escape now."
--+
"Man, I feel like some sort of parrot or something."
"Wow. How so?"
"Well, you see-"
"I know, Lavi. We're dangling in a cage, ten meters above a floor that seems anything /but/ comfortable."
"Right. Now all that's still missing are the scooby snacks."
"Those are for dogs, Lavi."
"What?"
"Scooby snacks aren't for parrots. They're doggy treats."
"..."
"What's with those tears?"
"I think I know why Polly died."
"And you're still wondering why Bookman didn't let you keep any more animals after him?"
"I am!"
"While you do that, I'll go get us out of here within now and ten minutes."
"...How were you planning on doing that?"
"Well, hey! Since I'm, like, ridiculously thin, and it lies in my character to be really smart and everything, I will climb out of this cage without any trouble, as unrealistic as it may be. That is totally possible."
"Sure it is. I will just stay here in this cage like an effing parrot and wait for you to take action, since I can't actually do something to help you."
"Right. And I am now climbing out of cage."
"So I see."
"Towards your cage."
"Yes you are."
"Past your cage-"
"No, wait! Allen!"
"Ignoring previous partner."
"Allen!"
"Will not stay behind to get raped by weird, creepy, shadowy, pedophilic noah-guy."
"But will you leave me, your best friend behind?"
"Yes, I would."
"I am giving you my puppy-dog look right now."
You've got a friend in meeeeeee~
"Okay, fine. I'll be right there."
"Are you there yet?"
"Still climbing. This is pretty hard, you know."
"Are you there yet?"
"Damnit, Lavi! Those cages are three metres apart!"
"Not an excuse."
"Yes it is! No normal human being can jump that!"
"I bet ya I can."
"I'd like to see you try."
"I will, but I have to get out first."
"Fine. Here you go."
"..."
"Now, jump."
"Okay!"
"Wait, Lavi, not the waist- AH!"
"WOAH."
"..."
"I cannot believe you just took me on a ten-metre jump."
"I cannot believe you have that much power in your vocal chords."
"Neither can I."
"Your squeak just killed my eardrums right now."
"You're just jealous because your voice is all low and manly."
"Yes I am. I wish I never hit puberty."
"And you should have just escaped Bookman, hacked some other back accounts and bought a huge midlife-crisis Sports Car when you still could."
"Perhaps I should have. But now we're together, and that's all that matters."
"Yes. Now, we should probably quickly get out of here. Holding hands."
"Yes, I will hold your hand now. And we should get some horses."
"So we can ride off into sunset."
"Which we are doing right now."
"It's so pretty... and red..."
"Allen?"
"Yes?"
"I've been meaning to tell you something. For a long time."
"What is it, Lavi?"
"I wanted to tell you... that I love you, Allen."
"I... I love you too, Lavi."
"..."
NAW.
REWIND.
-quickly get out of here."
"Yes. I'll run off now. You follow."
--+
After 29 hours of conversation with Ann, this is what came out. I... don't know.
Seriously.