Akira: Ryu is my eternal rival and I will let him know that through all of eternity, even if it kills me, or Master Hand, whichever comes first.
Alucard: I mope all day about my daddy issues with my father Dracula. Also, I'm such an egotistical jerk that I won't let anyone summon me on Wii Fit Studio. (Fun fact, that's actually true. You can't some in this assist trophy on this stage, weird right?)
Andross: I like to have wars with Dr. Kawashima and when he wins, I blow up a wall. Star Fox saved the day… Again…
Arcade Bunny: I pick up people randomly with my claw for laughs, so I tried to do it to Bomberman, and you can see how that went…
Ashley: When I get mad, I love to curse people. Like that one time I turned Phosphora into a doll because she was flirting with Zero. No one flirts with Zero on my watch! (Note: I don't have a crush on Zero, I just enjoy his company).
Black Knight: When no one is looking, I like to go and try to kill Ike. Usually in the middle of the night. It never works.
Bomberman: I blew up the item store room on accident.
Burrowing Snagret: Olimar blames me for messes Chain Chomp makes. I mean, at least Pit's little cousin cares, but still.
Chain Chomp: I make a big mess and blame it all on Burrowing Snagret because I'm a big jerk and can't take the blame.
Chef Kawasaki: I helped Tiki put all the assist trophies on healthy diets, and, I'm not gonna spoil the story, but it didn't end well.
Color TV-Game 15: Okay, my left side is Paddle, and my right side is Smack. I (the ball) love to bounce around to the chagrin of Paddle and Smack, hitting everything in the vicinity in the process.
Devil: I drive everyone crazy when I mess with their field of vision by switching the stage around. I'm also a really bad assist trophy. Just saying…
Dillon: I rolled over the garden that Palutena spent hours working on, squished all the flowers, and forgot to say sorry.
Dr. Kawashima: I force all the assist trophies into math classes. You can guess how that makes Starfy feel.
Dr. Wright: I make buildings appear out of the middle of nowhere. It scares the ever-living crap out of the ghosts.
Flies Hand: We like to smack people for fun. Namely Marth, because it messes up his hair.
Ghirahim: I didn't get into the assist trophy-exclusive "Awesome Swords Club", so I attacked Lyn. I'm also not allowed anywhere near the children because, well, if you've played the game I come from, you probably know why…
Ghosts: We chase our protagonist and Luigi down the halls at night. Also, Clyde likes to eat Zero's hair for some reason. Also also, the rest of us annoy the living crap out of everyone else. Also also also, we have no regrets!
Gray Fox: I use my robotic voice to scare people. Also, my katana is not to be touched out of matches anymore for reasons I wouldn't like Azey to write about.
Guile: I spam all of my moves and shout every time I do it.
Hammer Bro: I have something against Mario. Like, seriously, I don't go a day without trying to kill him. Oh, that also includes Luigi…
Isaac: I use my psynergy hands to get stuff I can just reach on my own, like the TV remote. This is why people call me lazy, even though I get mad at them for it.
Jeff: I like to launch my bottle rockets in the middle of the night. Ness hears it. And he doesn't like it… At all!
Kapp'n: When I drive people off the side of the stage, sometimes I forget that I'm only supposed to drive them so far, and I end up driving them through the Smash Mansion. I am the reason we can't have nice things.
Klaptrap: I chew, and chew, and chew, and chew, and chew, and chew. I think I have a problem, but I have no regrets.
Knuckles: Shadow and I have a real rivalry, so it's a surprise to literally no one that we fight, every day, and every chance we get. Ugh…
Knuckle Joe: People call my voice annoying, and even though I know it is, I punch them in the face every chance I get.
Krystal: I froze Fox after he called me a "trophy wife" when I was first announced as an assist trophy. I recently learned that he was giving me a compliment.
Lyn: When I said "taste my blade" in battle, I didn't think Chef Kawasaki would take that so literally. He tried to cook my sword. You can see how that went down with me. I also have a grudge against Black Knight, for some reason…
Metroid: I like to help Klaptrap chew up all the furniture.
Midna: I play tricks on people, and let out my spooky little laugh whenever I do so. People find it really annoying.
Moon: I scare the (insert bad word here) out of Young Link whenever I spawn, then I laugh.
Mother Brain: I love to try taking the little blue robo-child away from Samus. In response, she gets everyone on the roster involved. Just let me have the little blue boy, you missle-shooting (insert bad word here).
Nightmare: Because Lucas is terrified of the dark, I go in his room at night sometimes and scared him half to death. The last time I tried to do this, I didn't realize he was ready for it and he froze me. Even Kirby was fine with that.
Nikki: Sometimes I get carried away with my drawings, and they end up causing a lot more harm than help. I still don't understand that for some reason.
Nintendog: I climb onto people's laps at the worst possible moments. Like when they're trying to get work done, or when they're really angry, which you think would help. I was chucked across the room once; it was not pleasant.
Phosphora: I shock the Squid Sisters every time they get near Zero. I don't realize that just because I like him doesn't mean that no one else has the chance to.
Rathalos: [ROAR] When I don't get fed, I go on rampages.
Riki: I curse Smashers in the middle of the night when they don't pay attention to me.
Rodin: I ended up getting half the mansion sick because of Skull Kid's stupid prank. Joker was one of them and I had to take care of him.
Sablé Prince: I transform into a frog and a snake to scare the Fire Emblem characters. Oh, and Bayonetta.
Samurai Goroh: When Capt. Falcon comes to say hi, I hurt him; every time; I have some serious issues.
Shadow: Zero's very strong, which is why I wonder if he would be even stronger with Chaos Emeralds. I was very right. He tore up half of the assist trophy quarters in a Maverick-like rage.
Sheriff: I shoot random people at any given moment.
Shovel Knight (shout-out to GirlOnDarkerSide): Yes, I can talk, I understand you, all of you can be quiet. Especially you, Waluigi. Mute little midget, my shovel.
(Also, FOR SHOVELRY!!!)
Skull Kid: Skull Kid's my name, pranking's my game. I get in trouble for this a lot.
Spring Man: I knocked over the refrigerator when I tried to grab a Pepsi.
Squid Sisters: We scream Calamari Inkantation at the top of our lungs in the middle of the night. We also ink Phosphora if she gets within 5 feet of Zero.
Starfy: I'm a pure little boy, but I shine a bit too brightly and hurt people's eyes.
Starman: Zapping innocent people at random is hilarious in my opinion, but not in Jeff's, which is why he jumps me every time I do so.
Sukapon: As the award winner for "World's Most Obnoxious Assist Trophy", I am quite infamous for being an absolute pain in the butt.
Takamaru: I have a knack for throwing my knives at just the right moment that they hit opponents in very undesirable places, such as Grey Fox's core, and Mother Brain in general.
Tiki: I turn into a dragon whenever I get mad. And I have a bit of a temper issue.
Thwomp: I crush anyone and everyone when they get under me.
Vince: When I paint a picture and it sticks to a fighter, I get scared and knock my stuff over.
Waluigi (thanks to Justin Times): Because I didn't get into Smash Ultimate, I wrecked the Hand's room and tortured every Smasher that didn't believe in me. Wario comforted me, and I still did it to him.
Wily Capsule: When Mega Man enters the assist trophy quarters, I love to bomb-rush him and try to kill him, and I'm stopped by my own creation. Talk about embarrassing; Zero even likes Mega Man, much to my dismay.
Yuri Kozukata: I'm very shy and quiet, and I get startled easily, which is why I'm not allowed on the Luigi's Mansion stage. The last time I was summoned there, I was spooked by some Boos and took a photo of the Smasher who summoned me, who just so happened to be Olimar.
Zero: I mistook Ganondorf for Sigma and tried to murder him. The Links egged me on. I don't regret what I did though. Also, Little X is like my child and I won't let anyone hurt him, which is why I'm constantly quarreling with Mother Brain and Dark Samus; also, Mii Gunner.
Thank you for reading this! It took so long to write, but I finally did it! Until next time, Angel is out!