DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED IN THIS STORY.

"What the fuck are you doing, Bella?" Edward cried exasperated.

Well sheesh. I didn't think I was being that suspicious, though I suppose the tuneless humming gave me away. I was trying to find a replacement leather jacket for Edward. Surprisingly enough the tourist trap of a store we found had a great selection, though a bit on the pricy side, I didn't care. This didn't help my case though.

I sighed. "Are you sure you don't want a new leather jacket?"

Edward glared. "Fuck no, Bella. Put it back."

I was a little taken aback by the harshness of his tone. I was going to buy it more as a joke, and if he took it, great, but apparently he didn't get it.

His expression turned guilty as his tenor was lighter when he spoke. "Please, Bella."

He raised his gorgeous eyebrows at me expectantly. I nodded and silently put the jacket back.

I walked out of the store wordlessly. Edward followed. He sighed and put his hand on the back of his head.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you in there, just getting a little irritable." He stated repentantly while fidgeting slightly in his step.

Oh. Realization dawned on me and I automatically felt really stupid for feeling bad in the first place. Edward probably hadn't had a fix in a while.

"It's okay." I said lightly while trying to figure out a subject change.

I doubt it would do any good to bring up the word heroin for many reasons, so I didn't bother to ask exactly how long it had been since he last got high.

Edward and I continued to walk through the terminal. Every once in a while he'd spot some idiot making a fool of themselves and point them out to me, leaning down giving me a whiff of his sweet scent. I'd laugh nervously along with him.

Each time though I was always in awe of his musical chortle. I'd miss it a lot. The worst part was I couldn't be sure if I'd hear it again after all was said and done. I'd have to make him laugh a lot today. Easy enough, most people got a kick out of my clumsiness.

"Tell me about yourself, Bella." Edward said quietly and out of the blue while we were making our third circle around the shopping district. Neither of us had tired yet.

I turned to him confused with one eyebrow raised. "What would you like to know?" I asked with a hint of suspicion in my tone.

I suppose after all that I had learned about Edward, he deserved to know some about me. That's the way these things were supposed to work. I hadn't been in a relationship like this though, ever.

He smiled. "Everything."

I frowned. "Why?"

Edward's face fell slightly. "I would like to know a thing or two about the girl who is willingly taking on a complete stranger's many problems."

I shrugged and looked away. "I'm not that fascinating, really."

Edward disagreed. "What you're doing is pretty fascinating."

What I was doing. I was helping someone I just met overcome his heroin addiction, hopefully come to terms with his parents' deaths, and hopefully help him find himself along the way. Quite the work load. And I was willingly taking it. But I still couldn't bring myself to think me amazing, or fascinating. If you looked at my reasons for doing it they were far from anything brilliant.

We just both happened to be in the right place at the right time.

If Edward and I never met, Edward would most likely still try rehab. But in that state of mind, and with no one to turn to, it could almost be guaranteed he wouldn't get far. Most people enter rehab at force from loved ones, because it's hurting them almost as much as the drug addict themselves. But what if you didn't have anyone trying to force your hand? What if you didn't have anyone waiting for you once you got out? There would be no push, no extra strength to get better for Edward. The will to get healthy simply to be healthy means little to addicts in his mental state.

So the choice was clear. Edward needed someone, and not just anyone but a person with the capacity and patience to deal with his problems. And promise to be there for him while he was there, and once he got out, no matter what the outcome.

I would do that for Edward, because I was willingly obligated to this man now.

I looked up at him from under my eyelashes. Not on purpose, it just happened. He's quite taller than I.

Edward audibly took in air, and had an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes seemed peculiarly glazed over.

I looked down and blushed. What did I do? "What?" I asked quietly.

Out of my peripheral vision Edward shook his head, floating back down from whatever cloud he was on.

"Nothing." He said quickly, too quickly. "I'd like to get to know you, now."

I smiled and sighed. "Where do I start? Shall I bore you with the details of my pre book life or tire you with the post book ones?" I asked looking anywhere but to the eyes of Edward Cullen. That was how I divided my life up.

"I highly doubt the chance of you boring me. Just give me a brief overview of everything. If I have questions I'll persist otherwise." Edward plotted.

It was making me a tad uncomfortable to have someone of Edward's physique seemingly interested in what I had to say. But I was fretting for nothing. It was obvious that Edward had nothing on me. He had the king of all stories. Mine was peasant like, all boring and predictable.

"Um, I was born in Forks, Washington and lived there till I turned fifteen. My mother and I moved to California after that. For different reasons, though my parents divorce had a lot to do with it. I um, graduated and went to Berkley, majored in psychology, and during my senior year wrote my book. About a year or so went by and it was, to my surprise, published. I didn't pursue greatly into a career of psychiatry because of that. I'm sure one day it'll get back to me though." I said all this while nodding off the list of important details.

Edward had his eyes on me the entire time, patiently listening to me drone on. I was to chicken to look up at him though.

"Go on." He said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I opened my mouth to speak but shut it.

Edward noted my struggle. "Go into specifics." He said simply.

I side glanced at him and immediately regretted it. The polite expression and intense eyes made me blush furiously for some reason. I bit my lip in surprise and turned away.

Edward breathed a lovely laugh. "What's wrong, Bella?" He asked dumfounded at my expression.

"Do you want to head back to the gate?" I asked, skirting around his question.

He raised his eyebrows but nodded. "Okay."

I sighed and picked up my pace towards the gate. Edward caught up quickly, and more gracefully. His steps had their own rhythm while mine went from pigeon toed to wide stepped every few feet. I stared down my uncoordinated pattern in wonder. Just then Edward grabbed my arm and gently yanked me out of the way of something. I looked at the thing I had just dodged. A wall. What else?

I let out a nervous giggle. "Thanks."

Edward smiled politely and let go of my arm.

Once we arrived at our gate I led us to a pair of seats nearest the window. The light shining through was bright thanks to the snow dusted runway. I didn't think it would snow this early into winter. Edward sat down beside me and relaxed in his seat.

"Tell me more about yourself, go in to specifics." He ordered with his eyes closed.

He looked so tired, the dark circles under his eyes more pronounced now. But beyond all of the scruff and sickly colors was a beautiful man. I randomly thought Edward would be a wonderful model, for he could pull off beauty even while he was drugged up. Since most of the modeling world was into coke or heroin anyway he would probably fit in just fine. I shook my head clear of the thoughts and turned away reluctantly before he could catch me staring.

I cleared my throat. "I'm a natural brunette." It was the first thing that came to mind so I just went with the flow.

Edward smiled but didn't open his eyes. "Nice to know." He said teasingly.

Well he wanted specifics.

"Full name is Isabella Marie Swan, Bella Swan is my penname" I continued casually, mimicking Edward's laid back position in my own seat.

I normally hated talking about myself, and all aspects surrounding it. And you'd think that I'd completely dread speaking these details with Edward. But he hadn't made a big deal about any of them yet. He just looked on with polite courtesy. So I found it easier to confide in him.

Edward nodded slowly willing me to continue silently.

"I've never had a single cavity." I declared proudly. Not many people could say that of themselves these days.

Edward laughter broke through the silent hum of voices around us. He opened his eyes and tilted his head towards mine.

"Nice." He said sarcastically.

"I drive a black Pontiac Grand Prix with black leather interior." I said simply.

I got the vibe that Edward was enjoying these simple facts. He rested his head back again and closed his eyes. Every once in a while a smile would play on his lips at my comments. He was so gorgeous even with his eyes closed and not an ounce of try exuding from him. I wish I had that talent. Then again I didn't really want the attention, so scratch that.

"The first thing I spent my huge paycheck on from my book was a vacation for my mother and her new husband Phil." I said matter-o-factly.

Edward's eyes shot open and he turned his body to me. "Really?" His expression was amused but still a bit incredulous.

I grinned at his expression. "The next thing I purchased was a guitar previously used and owned by Kurt Cobain." I said sheepishly.

Edward beamed in amazement.

He laughed. "That's crazy! You've got to let me see it!" He plead quickly.

I was surprised, most people were a bit repulsed by my actions, spending so much money on a guitar that I didn't have a clue how to play. I of course knew it was completely worth it! But I rarely came across a soul who had understood. Not many of my friends had been Nirvana fans. Schmucks.

"Of course." I said brightly.

Edward's smile widened and my heart quickened its beat at his brilliance. "God, that is so cool."

I breathed a laugh. Edward began digging in his pockets. I looked onto his figure curiously.

"I have to see if we're as musically compatible as it seems." Edward stated as he whipped out his scratched ipod.

I smiled and followed by taking out my own ipod. I was a tad bit worried though. My music collection was completely and utterly random. I didn't just listen to nineties grunge rock, though don't get me wrong I loved it. I had a lot of modern alternative songs, and some random classics and a few albums from the eighties. What would it say about us if we weren't musically compatible? Better yet, what if we were?

Edward handed me his ipod while I handed him mine. I realized then that this probably meant he had respected my privacy earlier, and didn't scour my music library. I suddenly felt really immature for even thinking about it in the first place.

I turned it on. The screen had a funny tint to it, probably from the screen damage. I stifled a giggle while I wondered how exactly that came about.

I decided to go for genre first. As soon as it was open I selected alternative. The list was shockingly similar to mine. Let's see here, Ash (random but I had a bit of them too), Coldplay…

I jumped and turned to Edward. "You like Coldplay?" I asked.

He didn't turn to me. He was too deep in my own ipod library. "As do you, 'X&Y', 'Viva La Vida'." He turned to me and smiled. "Nice."

I laughed and turned back to his ipod eagerly. So far so good. Bush, The Clash, The Cure, The Ramones, very good. All of these bands had graced my own ipod. Muse, Nirvana, The Offspring, Radiohead. I couldn't help the huge smile that was now plastered on my face. It was just so awesome! I'd never met someone who seemed to be so in tune with my own musical choices. It was almost like it was meant to be. We had the same favorites of the artists too, it was crazy. I turned to Edward and put my hand on my heart sarcastically.

"My musical soul mate!" I said in a sing-songy voice.

Edward breathed a laugh and nodded.

I decided to take a peak at his other genres. Pop was empty, good. Though my own had Katy Perry in it. Her songs were catchy ok!

Quite surprisingly, Edward's classical genre was almost as filled as his alternative. A few I had heard of, but most of them were completely unfamiliar to me. My classical genre had about twelve total songs if I remembered correctly. Edward would probably be disappointed. At least the twelve songs I had were included in some way, shape or form on his ipod. I decided not to bring it up right away and switched to the rock genre. The Airborne Toxic Event, love them, Billy Idol. It was my turn to tease Edward.

"Billy Idol, eh?" I asked.

He smiled and turned to me. My breathing hitched as my stomach did flips. I scolded myself for my stupid reaction. He's beautiful, get used to it.

"I'm not ashamed if that's what you're getting at." He stated.

I laughed and turned back to his ipod to continue down the list. The Films, Something for Rockets, Sublime! That put me in an exceptionally good mood.

Edward and I finished our evaluation around the same time.

"Did I pass?" I asked routinely. Though my tone feigned confidence, I was far from being self-assured.

"A-plus." He said as my ipod was placed back in my hand.

I sighed relieved.

"A-plus plus!" I said as I gave him back his.

He grinned a crooked grin and I my heart sped up. I wanted to punch it for responding the way it did.

I wrapped my ipod back up and stashed it into my bag for later. I glanced at my phone for the time to see we had about a half hour left until boarding would start. I couldn't decide if time was going too slow or too fast, not a good place to be in, sort of disorienting.

Feeling relieved that Edward and I were 'musical soul mates' I decided to put our light moods to the test. I calculated that now was as good of time as ever to dig into Edward's pre heroin past. I wouldn't be too pushy. I'd let him tell me what he wanted to. Similar to what he did for me. I'd give him an outline of what I wanted to know and if he felt comfortable enough he could tell me.

"So Edward, tell me about yourself." I said.

Edward took a deep breath. "You already know me, Bella." Edward bowed his head solemnly.

"No, Edward, actually I don't. I know what you've been through, but I don't know anything about you in specifics. I can only draw so much from body language and mannerisms you know." I told him firmly.

I didn't want to have to explain to him again how whatever he had done had not negatively affected my view of him. But I suppose I'd have to make myself clear if he didn't give in right away due to his insecurities.

He didn't say anything, just picked at a fingernail again, what was left of it anyway, he looked like a nail biter. Just like me!

"What would you like to know?" He asked while not looking up from his nail.

"Just give me a brief overview of everything. If I have questions I'll persist otherwise." I repeated his orders from earlier, sounding professional with courteous detachment.

He smiled a bit and scratched his chin. His fancy words had backfired. That seemed to satisfy him enough though for he gave in.

"Born Edward Anthony Cullen in Chicago to Esme and Carlisle Cullen. I had a normal childhood, dad was a doctor, mom was an interior designer. I was a good student throughout High School and after I graduated I attended Northwestern and majored in music composition. I play the guitar a little but always focus on the piano. Everything was normal. As you know I was getting my masters when my mother fell ill." He finished turning to me most likely to assess if I was satisfied with his brief overview yet.

I wasn't. Although it was nice to know Edward had a normal childhood and succeeded in school, there were still a few mysteries.

"Go on." I pressed lightly.

Edward rolled his eyes.

"What else is there? I don't own a car, I've never owned a house. I can't cook worth a crap. I have a tattoo right here…" Edward pulled up his jacket to reveal a small tattoo across his right wrist. It said "Carpe Noctem"

I couldn't stifle the laugh that broke out. "Seriously Edward?" I asked accusingly.

Edward looked on to me annoyed and then turned to his tattoo and squinted. "Turns out I had a rebellious phase when I was a teen, decided to pull this stunt." He explained.

All hopes of sobering up diminished. I doubled over at the thought of pre heroin Edward being rebellious, or at least trying to be. He did it so wrong.

"That's really cute, though." I said after a few moments of laughter and a small epitome.

It was cute. It was the most harmful thing Edward could think of at the time, and yet it was so small in comparison to the ultimate rebellion.

He grimaced. "Glad you think so." He said after a few moments. He rolled his sleeve back down.

I liked Edward's little outburst of facts and I wanted for him to continue.

"Tell me more." I ordered eagerly. The lightness in my tone hopefully outweighed the demanding demeanor.

"No, Bella. You've heard enough for one day." He stated simply, sounding tired as he leaned back into his seat once more, drawing his eyes to a close.

Not wanting to push him I settled on asking him later.

"I've heard enough for now but before our trip ends I hope to hear more." I said simply.

Edward sighed and it sounded tense. He kept his eyes shut though.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea, Bella." Edward spoke a bit harshly.

I was a bit dumbfounded at this. "Why?" I asked.

"You know why." He retorted.

I sat back up from my relaxed position to get a better glance at Edward. He opened his eyes again but didn't make eye contact with me, just stared at nothing ahead of us.

"No I don't know why." I said.

Edward was always hot and cold. One minute he was yes, the next he was no. I was having a difficult time finding the exact reasons why, even with my knowledge of human behavior. Edward was apprehensive though, this much was true.

"Look at that couple over there, Bella." Edward said randomly while nodding for my gaze to follow his.

Indeed there was a couple at this gate some distance ahead of us. They were young and very pretty to look at. There was a blonde woman who was currently resting her head on the man's shoulder. He rested his head upon hers while they chatted. The moment seemed private and was emanating love from every angle. I was beginning to see where Edward was going with this, though I'd hope my instinct was false.

"We can't have that." He said in a final tone.

Nope, no such luck. Those four words unlocked many others, many thoughts and reasons behind Edward's sudden distant mood. What Edward obviously meant was we can't be normal. We can't date and be a happy go lucky couple. Edward apparently felt he was the reason for this. And right now he was. Not because of his heroin addiction or his self image but because he was holding back. He felt he needed to.

"Edward, I…" I didn't know how to console him and tell him that it didn't matter to me.

I wasn't looking for a romantic relationship with Edward right now. I was only looking to help him. But, I must admit, if the circumstances had been different and Edward was clean and I was, well me, I wouldn't have pursued him. And I doubt he would have pursued me. Edward was obviously way out of my league. So I wouldn't be breaking the ice there. And again, if the circumstances would have been different, Edward would most likely already have a piece of ass to go home to. End of story.

But in this life and world, Edward and I had found each other, and out of a stranger's perils, brought out the fraternity of he and I. I can butcher my favorite quote in my own thoughts ok!

Edward put up a hand to stop me from continuing. "Neither one of us should be getting attached right now." He stated again in a firm and detached tone.

I shook my head in disagreement. "It's too late, Edward. Don't do this now. Don't push me away." I protested.

"I'm not pushing you away. I'm just stopping this before we get too deep." He argued.

I frowned. "Okay I get it, Edward. You don't want me to get hurt, but seriously, I'm in. And you can't stop what's already become of us. Even though we haven't known each other long, you can't simply cover up the, not to sound cheesy, but connection that we've formed." I spoke quickly to get my point across and on the table.

Edward was shaking his head stubbornly before I had finished.

Then his face wrinkled in disgust. My heart sank a little. "I shouldn't have let it get this far." He murmured quietly, almost to himself.

There he goes with his stupid protective side again!

I was the one shaking my head this time. "Edward, this, I don't know, friendship between us was going to happen no matter what. The second you told me-" I was cut off.

"I mean I shouldn't have even told you that. I shouldn't have pulled you into this." He frowned again and rubbed his chin in thought. "I should've left you alone." He said softly.

God, how could he be saying this? If he hadn't of told me, I wouldn't have the slightest clue of what his problem was, therefore I wouldn't be able to put forth compassion and help him.

"If I wasn't here, what would become of you?" I asked him seriously, dipping my head to his level and leaning into him slightly. I managed to control my body's reaction to his enticing scent.

I already had a vague idea of what would happen to him. I wanted to hear his response though.

Edward stayed planted. "It doesn't matter. Don't worry about that." He said irritated.

Amazing, he'd thought I'd just brush it off like that.

I frowned but kept my eyes locked with his. "Don't talk like that, Edward." I said a bit harshly. Well the situation called for it.

Then I could feel my eyes becoming heated. I knew immediately it was a mixture of traitor tears and tears of sadness.

Even though Edward was a mild bipolar inflicted man, and a heroin addict who viewed himself as a monster, I still saw more than that. Like the fact that right now, Edward was attempting to keep me out for me, for me! He was so lost that he could care less about what happened to him, all that worried him at the moment was how I was affected by all of this. This was so ridiculous yet heartbreaking at the same time. Edward was courageous, and even though he thought differently, selfless. He, like I, was already willing to make sacrifices for someone he just met.

This was serious stuff.

A few tears escaped me. I frowned.

He leaned forward in his seat till his face was just inches from mine. I could feel his breath on my face. It was very pleasant and was starting to calm the tears.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Edward said as his fingers, very lightly, brushed the tears away from both sides of my face. His touch brought an immediate electric spark and we both jumped from the contact.

I could see from the look in Edward's eyes that he was sorry for a number of things.

I very reluctantly pulled away once he was done drying my face.

"It's okay." I said as I sniffled the remainders.

As soon as I composed myself I spoke again.

"Edward, as long as you need me in your company I'm more than willing to stay. But the second your regard goes down, and you wish for the departure of my company what do you want me to do? Shall I fight or go down easy?" I asked.

Edward, trying to be noble, would most likely want me to go down easy. But I wouldn't precede that easily. Edward was too special to simply give up on. I would put up a trying fight, for Edward's sake mostly, but for mine too. And if that failed, and Edward clearly did not want my burden anymore, what other choice would I have but to depart?

Edward's expression was the familiar pained one that had occurred such a short time ago.

"I want, for myself, more than anything, for you to stay and help me. But realistically, it would be a whole new level of selfishness. How could I bring myself to do that? Bella, for yourself, I want you to go. There are two sides here that I'm fighting. Know that." He explained carefully.

I nodded.

Edward had a point, from his side of the story, but he hadn't heard mine.

"It's not selfish if I'm willing to do it Edward, it's simply reaping the benefits." I chose my words carefully.

He frowned. "Ah. But if you look at it from earlier, I took it upon myself to throw this on you. You wouldn't be making these choices if it weren't for my self-centered openness." Edward countered turning his body to face mine.

We were both slumped in our seats again.

"True. But one burst of self-centeredness can't be responsible for another's precise actions. From that point on, it was in my control. I chose to act upon it. So can we just call it even? I'm tired." I finished lamely.

I wasn't in the mood for intelligent conversation anymore. Edward had a way of twisting things so that they would be his fault. I wouldn't be surprised if he blamed himself for every little thing that went wrong.

Edward sighed and then nodded.

He would always blame himself for dragging me into this, that much was true, but I'd just have to remind him that it was my choice to help him, and that his story enabled a sympathetic monster deep down inside of me.

Edward would always have doubt too. That was to be expected. He would always doubt his deserving of my compassion. He would probably doubt if I'd actually stand by him throughout the whole process. These would be more obstacles to face in the future.

A small fraction of the many.

Thank you for reading! :PPPPPP