A/N: I'm dying of a migraine, but I'm posting this because I like you people. All spelling mistakes and other proofready fuckups are due to my brain collapsing on itself.

Thank you for reviews = P

Chapter 6: What Even Is A Mandarin?

The first thing any of them did was read the whole file back to front and see what they could get out of it.

And the first thing Loki noticed was that what Tony had thought was 'MIA' stamped on a sheet was actually 'AIM' on the other side.

The phrase 'The plot thickens' had been thrown around a lot recently, but damn, was it applicable.

"We need Rhodes," Loki said after going through everything. "Now."

"SADIE, ring Rhodey. And keep ringing him until he picks up. So. We know from my adventures in the New Year," Tony said with a smirk at Maya. "That when you piss Extremis off it explodes. We also know that Killian has lots of access to Extremis and it's probably the weapon the Mandarin's been using, 'cause there hasn't been any bomb casings or anything. So they're teaming up. Last, they have Pepper. We need to find Killian, and when we're there, we'll find Pep and the Mandarin."

"Unfortunately, we cannot track Killian," Loki sighed. "Until Rhodes calls us."

"Sirs and ma'am, I believe there is something of interest to you occurring," SADIE said.

"What's that?"

"Another Mandarin broadcast, sir," SADIE replied flatly.

"Turn it on!" Loki said urgently.

"Track the transmission," Maya pointed out.

"SADIE, do it," Loki confirmed.

Then they watched the transmission. All of them were trying to dissect what they were looking at, at least until they were diverted from that train of thought by the Mandarin threatening to kill an accountant begging at his feet.

The Mandarin told the president to call him.

"Very clever," Loki breathed in disbelief. "He has to call, or face the fury of the viewing public, but by following an order he places himself in a position of less power. Neat."

"Not supposed to enjoy this, Sparkles," Tony shot back distractedly.

"I meant tidy," Loki corrected.

They all flinched in horror as the man on the floor was apparently shot.

After a long, weight silence: "There's just one lesson left, President Ellis, so run away, hide, kiss your children goodbye, because nothing, not your army, not your red, white and blue attack dog can save you! ... I'll see you soon."

The transmission ended with the Ten Rings symbol, followed by a hysterical news broadcast.

"Well," Tony said. "That was cheery."

"It was positively spine-tingling," Maya agreed dryly.

"SADIE. Anything from Rhodes?" Loki asked.

"No, master," SADIE said.

"Damn. Somehow I have a bad feeling about this final lesson, and I'd quite like to prevent it," Loki said.

"He has answered, sir," SADIE said suddenly.

"Finally," Tony groaned.

"Tony, make this quick," Rhodey snapped aggressively. "I'm more than a little busy cleaning up the Mandarin's mess."

"Where are you?" Tony asked.

"It's classified, but it ends with '-stan'," Rhodey said.

"Cool. Bring me something nice. What's your password for your military login?" Tony asked.

"I can't tell you that," Rhodey said. "I have to change it every time you hack in."

"No one says hack anymore, Rhodey. I bet you can tell me. Try moving your mouth," Tony said.

Loki rolled his eyes at Tony's sass and said "Rhodes, this is Loki Laufeyson. It's an honour to finally meet the man Tony's been talking about, but I can weep over my new acquaintance later. Tony and I are conducting our own investigation and I believe we're a little further ahead than you are; however, we need access to your files. I'll be happy to reimburse you in whatever way you feel necessary. Just do it."

"Good to meet you too, Laufeyson," Rhodey said. "Look, it's my neck on the line here-"

"And I have considerable influence on SHIELD and therefore on your superiors," Loki countered.

"You're marrying a Pepper, Tony," Rhodey sighed.

"He's definitely a Loki, not a Pepper," Tony said. "To summarise what my lovely Loki just said, give us the password."

Rhodey gave yet another aggrieved sigh. "Username's WARMACHINE68. Password's WARMACHINEROX, all caps, 'rox' with an 'x'. Don't call me again unless you've got the Mandarin in handcuffs."

"I'll buy you a drink," Loki said, disconnecting the call. "SADIE, log on to the military server using that passcode."

In a moment, they had access to everything they needed to finish the Extremis trail.

"SADIE, two tasks; find all files pertaining to Extremis, and begin tracing the recent transmission of the Mandarin's," Loki commanded.

When SADIE presented to them video clips of people undergoing Extremis treatment, Maya looked upset. "It wasn't at a stage of testing where it could be used on people," she said. "I didn't want this."

Loki rested his hand on her knee, patting reassuringly in an absentminded way, and Tony copied him.

"Shit happens," Tony said. "My research has gone awry before, Maya. It's what you do to fix it. But these guys-" he pointed at the woman on screen, before switching to a clip of a man - "They're the guys who attacked me. And then they explode. Mystery solved. Extremis is the weapon."

"SADIE," Loki said. "Any progress?"

"I have access to the current tracking program in place, master," SADIE said. "However, the satellite signal has been redirected to several different locations."

"SADIE, I built you," Tony interjected. "I know you're faster than their shitty tech. Give me a location."

"One moment, my genesis," SADIE said.

"Does she always kiss this much ass?" Maya asked.

"Tony programmed her that way," Loki shrugged.

"Yeah, under the assumption that you'd like it," Tony replied.

"She can be a tad simpering at times," Loki smirked.

"Oh, come on, you love feeling like a god," Tony said. "I'd know better than anyone, you kinky little shit."

"I would make a full and detailed rebuttal, but I don't want to burn Maya's delicate ears," Loki said wickedly.

"I've heard worse," Maya said. "My second boyfriend had one hell of a dirty talk kink."

"Bet he couldn't do it like Loki can," Tony grinned.

"Sirs and ma'am, I have traced the original transmission of the most recent Mandarin broadcast," SADIE interjected.

Everyone sat up straight. "Where?" Loki asked.

SADIE told them an address.

In Miami.

"They're in the same city as us," Tony said in disbelief.

"SADIE, bring up a map of the neighborhood, show our current location and the Mandarin's location," Loki said.

SADIE brought up a holographic map, which Loki took a look at.

"They're literally walking distance away," Loki spluttered, out of words for once. "Hold on a moment."

Loki got to his feet and walked briskly away, a light pat pat pat signalling that he was going upstairs. "I can see the Mandarin's fucking house from here!" He shouted back downstairs angrily.

Aha. Loki had two types of speech; one where he was polite and demure, and one where he swore in every sentence. He had evidently reverted to the latter.

"Well," Tony said to Maya. "I wasn't actually expecting that."

Loki walked back into the room, looking irritated with his teeth bared. "I have been sitting here all afternoon playing Scrabble-" he made a noise of frustration, then sat down and took a deep breath, trying to form a new plan.

"So. We attack?" Tony said.

"I suppose so," Loki said. There was definitely something of a sulk in his tone.

-O.O-

The simple fact was that using the Lightningrod suit was playing the odds a bit. Loki's pacemaker cells in his heart were mostly damaged. If they all stopped regular function, neither Tony nor Loki nor Loki's cardiologist actually knew what would happen. However, in the name of safety, they were going with the worst case scenario, wherein Loki died.

This was obviously not quite the desired result. Thusly, they wanted to avoid using the Lightningrod suit, which was a real bitch when you wanted to storm a guarded mansion.

Tony and Loki had come up with a solution; Tony would wear the Iron Man, and Loki would wear the Lightningrod suit, but not activated in case of, well, death. Instead, Loki had a SHIELD pistol - obtained legally, of course - and two steak knives and would try to stay out of the way.

Both of them were actually getting rather tired by this point - they hadn't slept for nearly two days straight, which wasn't something unusual in itself, but it hadn't been a very restful two days. Anything but.

The solution, of course, was to drink two cups of coffee, and in Loki's case, trip over Maya's foot and smack his funny bone on the coffee table.

"You know, Lo'lo," Tony said, helping him to his feet. "I've heard a lot of people say you're all perfectly balanced and graceful like a cat. But damn, you're a clumsy guy."

Loki muttered poisonously under his breath. "It's the brain damage, you ass."

Which was a slightly sore subject, and Tony did feel like an ass for mentioning it.

"Right. Anyway, Maya, stay here and don't throw any wild parties," Tony said with a cheery wave.

Loki looked thoughtful before giving Maya a goodbye wave and walking out the door. He spoke to SADIE externally. "SADIE, prevent Maya from leaving as much as possible. Alert me if she does or if she attempts to contact anyone."

"You're only paranoid because everyone's out to get you, huh, Lokes?" Tony said wryly, before letting Loki climb on him piggyback as they usually travelled.

"I'm not paranoid, just cautious," Loki said bluntly, looking a little childish as they took off like that.

-O.O-

They did not go for the subtle approach.

Tony quite simply swooped down and blasted the night guards head over heels with low-power repulsor blasts, landed neatly on the ground, and kicked in the front door, Loki following.

The place was actually a disgusting mess. All sorts of things were lying all sorts of places.

"The smell of this place is not unlike my flat in college," Loki noted.

"Luxury," Tony agreed.

"The question is, who'll be awake at midnight around here?" Loki wondered, his pistol raised as the pair of them slowly advanced further into the house.

There was a woman passed out on the couch in a green dress, opposite a sleeping man in a chair who was wearing a tidy suit with a visible gun bulge.

"No one, hopefully," Tony murmured.

Moving as quietly as possible, they pushed open a nice set of white doors, looking around cautiously. Granted, they didn't really know what they were looking for.

"I think we've found ground zero," Loki said lowly, looking around the room at the screens, some of which showed images of the Ten Rings symbol and the Mandarin.

The room was full of recording and editing equipment. As they moved a little further on, they came to similar sets to the one that had been used for the Mandarin's transmissions.

"So a lot of it's done here," Tony pointed out quietly. "The editing of their broadcasts, if not all of it. Which might mean the Grape's around here somewhere."

Then they rounded a corner to find a rather dramatic and imposing bed, with silhouettes of people sleeping in it.

Weapons at the ready, they crept forward to either side of the bed and after a nod, yanked the covers back.

The man and two women in the bed awoke with a start, looking terrified and putting their hands up as soon as they realised what was going on.

"Did we literally just catch the Mandarin with his pants down?" Loki said in disbelief.

Because the man was the Mandarin, or at least, he looked a hell of a lot like him.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" The Mandarin spluttered in what was definitely not the accent they'd been expecting. It was...English.

"Don't move," Tony said, his voice electronic through the helmet.

"I'm not moving," the Mandarin said, looking around in fear. "You want something, take it; although, the guns are all fake because the wankers wouldn't trust me with a real one..."

"What?" Tony said, incredulous. Loki's expression was fairly similar.

"Do you fancy either of the birds?" The Mandarin said. The two women in his bed looked both confused and a little scandalised.

"I think I've heard enough," Loki said in a final way. "You're not the Mandarin. Is there actually a Mandarin? Because on thought, everything has been Killian, barring your television appearances."

"What I think he means," Tony said frustratedly, preparing to fire a repulsor. "Is where the fuck is the real guy?"

The Mandarin - or whoever he was - cringed away from the weapons, pulling his blanket back up his waist.

"Woah, woah. He's here, he's here but he's not here," the man said. "He's here but he's not here. It's complicated."

Tony made a growling noise.

"Hey, it's complicated!" The man protested.

"Uncomplicate it. Ladies, out," Tony said, gesturing for the women to make a run for it, which they gratefully did.

"And stay there," Loki said with a suspicious look. "Tony, I wish to inspect this editing equipment. Interrogate him."

"Gotcha, babe," Tony said with a nod. Then he turned back to the man. "Speak up."

"Uh...My name's Trevor," the man said. "Trevor Slattery."

How helpful.

"What's your role in this?" Tony demanded.

"What, like an understudy?" Trevor said, a little mortified. "Absolutely not. I'm an actor."

When saving the world, or at least America, it couldn't just be simple, could it?

"Tell me everything or lose your face," Tony said.

"The transmissions do indeed originate here!" Loki called.

"Just a role," Trevor explained, making spooky hand gestures. "The 'Mandarin', see, it's not real."

"Then how'd you get here, Trevor?" Tony asked. Getting this guy to talk was like watching a snail race.

"Well...I...uh...had a little problem," Trevor said. "With, uh, substances. And I ended up, um, doing things - no two ways about it! - in the street that a man shouldn't do-"

"Oh, god, just cut to the goddamn point," Tony groaned.

"Then, they-" he made a vague gesture at the room around him. "Approached me for this role, and they knew about the drugs-"

"They said they'd get you off them?" Tony said, trying to paraphrase.

"They said they'd get me more!" Trevor corrected happily.

"Great. Fantastic. I'm running on a time constraint, here," Tony said. "Your boss has a friend of mine. Long story short, there is no Mandarin, and you're a nice foreign face for the American people to hate?"

Trevor nodded enthusiastically.

What a waste of good air.

-O.O-

Loki was running through various files. All of the Mandarin recordings were on there; all of them had Trevor as the star and there were preprocessed ones that showed the greenscreen and special effects noticeably. Movie magic. No Mandarin required.

Which meant Killian was the sole bad guy, and he was just looking for a fall guy to cover up the people exploding.

As he worked, Loki felt a funny prickling on the back of his neck, which could only mean someone was there.

Loki's plan was to duck and lash out in a kick, then follow up with a pistol shot.

His foot felt like it had hit concrete, putting him off balance. His attacker simply kneed him in the throat before punching him in the forehead where his horned helmet didn't cover and knocking him out cold.

-O.O-

Tony heard the soft noise of something happening out of sight. "Loki?" He said.

The man who'd been after him in Rose Hill rounded the corner, looking smug. He looked less smug when he saw the Iron Man, but several other armed men burst through the door they'd originally come through.

Assuming Loki was in trouble, Tony got ready to fight.