Toji blinks, trying to comprehend what he is seeing, not being able to believe that Ayanami is here, of all places, to see him of all people. But why...? The tears in her eyes though, this makes him think it's because of his former actions that she is here, to yell at him for something that is in the past, that he is wholly responsible for. He sighs, nodding. He deserves it, being told off by her. Best to get it over with and be done with it.
"Alright, Ayanami," he says. "Out with it. Tell me what you gotta' and then go."
He shuts his eyes, waiting for the sting of her words, the attack that is bound to come. Instead, there is silence, a quiet that seems to last so long that he is unsure the woman is still there until he opens his eyes and she stares at him with despondent eyes. She looks down... averting her gaze, as if ashamed.
"I... know we haven't spoken much. But I didn't know where else to turn to. Please... will you help me?"
Of all the things he'd expected her to say, all the words he'd expected to come from her mouth, these were not they. It catches him so out of left field that he is stunned, speechless, unable to process the thoughts that come through his mind any longer.
The woman before him though... seems to take this as confirmation of rejection and lowers her head, beginning to turn to walk away.
"I understand. After how your relation with Ikari fell apart... I should not have believed you'd help. I ... am sorry to have disturbed you."
Toji reaches out his hand to her, gripping her shoulder, halting her progress. She turns with tear filled eyes and he pulls his hand away, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Look... I'm not the best guy at all this stuff, with.. Everything that happened... you know. But... I'll try and help you out if you need it," he says with a quiet voice.
The woman smiles softly back towards him, her eyes lighting up and Toji for once in what feels like ages, feels his heart skip a beat with feelings of something besides fear. He swallows, licking his lips and steps back from the door, motioning for the woman to come inside.
"Uh.. Come in and make yourself at home... I guess," he says sheepishly.
"Thank you," she whispers, bowing lightly before stepping inside.
He sighs and shakes his head, wondering what exactly he is going to do now?
He glances over, looking towards Ayanami and then averts his gaze once more, the sight before him a bit too much to handle as the woman is feeding the child in her care once more, it suckling hungrily. There is a certain blush that comes across his cheeks at the sight but he tries to focus on Ayanami's words instead of what is happening before him.
"So... you're saying that Ikari is being... distant?"
The woman nods, her voice barely above a whisper, making Toji strain his ears as she speaks.
"Yes. He was... attentive at first. After the accident... But he has ... drifted. Become cold, not seeming to wish to speak to me any longer. I ... don't..."
He sees the tears beginning to form around her eyes and he sighs. The accident has been rough on all of them. More so on Ikari it seems and that's taken a toll on Ayanami too.
"Look... Ayanami, that stuff... is rough on a guy and Ikari... he didn't take that stuff well. It's hard to get over. The guy can't handle it well..."
She nods.
"I... know," she says. "He has nightmares almost every day. He doesn't sleep well. There's always bags under his eyes. I think... it affects his health."
"Shit," he whispers, a hand to his forehead. He knows the feeling, the horror of the accident and how it's left an impression on all of them. Every night he can hear that scream, hear Ikari's voice as he yells her name, the name of the woman before him. It makes Toji shudder, like a worm crawling under his skin, but looking at Ayanami seated across from him, he can't condone Ikari's actions. He is pushing away the one thing he wanted to keep so dearly and that's so stupid Toji can't understand why the man is doing it. It just doesn't make sense.
He is about to rise to get the phone to call Ikari and tell him off when he realizes the man is probably not willing to answer the phone if his number appears. It deflates him and he groans, trying to think of what to do.
"I am not imposing... am I, Suzuhara?" ask that near quiet voice. Toji lowers fingers from that impending headache and sighs. How is it that Ikari deals with someone so quiet? Still though...
"This may be a stupid question," he says. "But you don't have your phone on you, by chance?"
"Yes," she says, automatically, pulling the small device out from her dress pocket and handing it to him. She is far too trusting, he thinks as he takes the phone. "But why..." she begins.
"Gonna' call Ikari. Don't think he'll answer my own phone here so..."
"I understand," she says in a resigned voice, her head lowering. It bothers him how depressed she is. Ikari should be doing better, treating her better! She's his wife after all! Such makes the anxiousness of waiting for Ikari to pick up the phone all the more stressful. Each ring making his heart race as he waits for that point where Ikari will pick up, and such is the case that when Ikari does pick up, Toji is unsure what to say at first.
"Hello, Ayanami?" says the voice questioningly. Unable to say anything, Toji taps his fingers against his knees, waiting. "Sorry... I haven't been home and... distant," he hears from the other end of the line. "I just need.. You to give me some more time. I..."
"Yo, Ikari," says Toji then, irritated at the passive voice on the other end.
"Toji?" it says questioningly, more surprised than angry. It's a start. Better than automatically hanging up thinks Toji.
"Hasn't it been enough? I mean your distance from Ayanami," he starts. "I got her over here and she's wanting to see you. Dude... what's going on with you?"
"Ikari..." he hears a voice over the other end of the line. A feminine voice. "Who is that?"
"Uh.. No one!" says Ikari, his voice rising several octaves, making Toji worry. He doesn't say a word as he waits for Ikari to rumble through his excuses. He hears steps walking, echoing like in a hall and something electronic swish on.
"Look... Toji..." says Shinji, his voice sounding shaky on the other end, seeming to almost cut out in the location Ikari moved to. "Can... can you keep Ayanami at your place for a little while? I... need... more time to figure things out."
"Dude," says Toji, rising from his seat. "What's going on with you?! Your wife's here and your off in who knows where?"
"Yeah... I know..." Ikari answers almost as quietly as the woman on the other end. Almost like...
Toji stares towards Ayanami who looks back at him worriedly with cool red eyes and his heart races, something not seeming to feel right about the situation.
"Dude..." he says in a more calm tone. "What's going on?"
"I.. I wish I knew," says Ikari. "Just.. Please... keep Ayanami safe until I can come over? It's just for a little bit... I hope."
Toji doesn't respond, his anger at his friend quickly being replaced by concern and worry. There is something simply not right about what is happening and it makes him sick to his stomach.
"Man?" he whispers.
"I'm so fucked up, Toji..." he hears Ikari whisper before the line goes dead. Cut off after those words. Toji stares at the receiver, wishing to feel anger at the suddenness of it, having Ayanami thrust on him like this, even if it's only for a little while, without knowing anything about the situation. And who was that woman? If he didn't know any better...
"Suzuhara?" ask a soft voice behind him.
He turns, regarding that figure, lips parting as he looks for the words to speak. Licking chapped lips he tries to force a smile on his face even as sweat forms on his brow.
"Don't worry about it," says Toji. "Ikari will be home soon. He just said to hang tight for a bit. That's all..."
"Oh," says Ayanami dejectedly as she returns to her seat, nursing the small child. He'd almost forgotten about the kid as quiet as he's been. No, it's because his focus has been on Ayanami and that voice. It's bad enough they're all in this situation and now Ikari's with another woman. He'd never figured Ikari for being a two timer. It would make sense why Ayanami feels distant if that's what Ikari has been doing except... there's a problem. That voice... it seemed so distinct. So.. Familiar. If she weren't here right now... he would have sworn that other voice was... Ayanami's.