B

Baby or Beast ch 6

The first exchange

Bella felt like she was suffocating. She tried not to let it show because she had no idea how the beast would react if he discovered she was awake. She could feel her heartbeat accelerating and her insecurities rushing back to her.

As curious as she was, she couldn't help but feel nervous. He was still there, still close, sitting on the floor, with his back against the bedside. Thankfully, he was facing the other way, which reassured her. He was so close to her that Bella could have reached out her hand and touched him. She wondered what it would be like to touch his fur, feeling it underneath her hands.

It looked so soft, so smooth. It took all of her self control not to reach out to him.

Bella would have to let him know that she was awake. Sooner or later, he would find out.

She couldn't hide nor could she pretend forever. Bella wondered if he would be angry after what she did. She had been awake for quite some time and was watching his every move. She would understand if he were to get upset, but she feared for much worse. She had no idea what he was capable of. She didn't know what his intentions were. Either good or bad.

If he had wanted to hurt her, he would have done that a while ago. He wouldn't have rescued her from the wolves and would have left her to die. But why did he saved her? Was there some kind of hidden intention behind all of this?

She wondered about what would happen after this. Will she ever be able to go back home? Not that it really mattered Bella didn't want to go back to that place. Her father was a very abusive man, that's why she ran away. Anything was better than going back to that life. If she needed to stay with the beast for a while longer, she would. She didn't trust him yet but he seemed nicer and much more civilized than her own father. During the entire time that she's been awake, she noticed a few things about his saviour. Even if she could only see half of his face, she could read the emotions written on his features.

He looked sad, and so lonely.

Bella felt sympathy for him, but didn't know why. She didn't even know him and yet she had these feelings for this sad creature. Maybe he wasn't defined by his appearance. Perhaps, it was his actions that truly reflected what was in his heart.

She had seen good in him, but now she wanted to hear his side of the story. If he could explain himself.

She didn't even know if he could speak! She would have to wait and see for herself.

With Bella, still pretending to sleep, the beast remained seated on the floor, listening and waiting for something to happen. He wasn't sure if he should wait of wake her up himself. Would this be appropriate? If he did, how would she react?

He was sure that she didn't get a good look at him yet, for what he truly was. Or has she? He would have to face it anyway, either now or later. It was coming and it was inevitable. He stood up and turned around to face her. She looked peaceful but something was wrong.... She looked like she was in a force slumber, almost purposely pretending to sleep, only to have her eyes closed.

He placed his hand on her face and waited for a reaction of some sort. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked at him for what he believed to be the first time. Léon was suddenly feeling faint. What was he going to do? He quickly pulled his hand away and stared at her in wonder. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't fainting and she did not try to run away. Why wasn't she scared?

That answer escaped him in every way.

She wasn't like everyone else. How else could he explain it? She didn't seem afraid, only curious.

What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really so unapproachable that he couldn't handle being in the same space as someone who wasn't scared at the sight of him?

She wasn't like everyone else, she was different. How else could he explain it? She didn't seem afraid, only curious.

He had never thought that he would one day have to handle a situation like the one he was in. I guess he always figured he would be alone. Léon has never been prepared for something like this, nor been willing to do so in the past.

What was the point? He was a monster, and creatures like him didn't deserve to be happy. They didn't need to know how to act around woman. How to talk to them and how to treat them. They would never find love, friendship or companionship from the opposite gender, so there was no point in learning any of these things. His mother always tried to make him understand that even if he believed it to be useless to him, he was better off knowing about these things than being in ignorance. How he wished that he listened to her more thoughtfully. He knew a few things, but the worst was his table manners. Léon gave up a long time ago to try and use silverware and such. With his huge paws, human in shape but so clumsy and strong, just holding a fork was a challenge. These table accessories were too fragile for him. If he held them to tightly, they would break. Just thinking about displaying his lack of table manners in front of the girl made him want to crawl under a table and hide forever.

His mind was racing, his thoughts were incoherent. All sorts of ideas were spinning in his head as pictures and visions were appearing in front of his eyes. Léon was loosing his mind, or so he thought. He never felt anything like it. Terror, shame and embarrassment mixed together, accompanied with a numbing pain in his chest, were his heart was. Was this heartbreak? Or was it his mind playing tricks on him? Maybe his crippling sanity was the cause of all of this. Either way he found it extremely hard to deal with these new feelings and to keep a minimum of control over himself.

Before he even realised what he was doing, he was already outside. Running as far as possible from the cabin, and from who was inside.

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She couldn't believe what was happening. Did he just run away from her? She remembered the look of fear and disbelief in his eyes, almost as he was expecting her to be terrified of him. Bella couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He must be so lonely, so sad. How long has it been since he had any company? Or has he always been alone? She was probably the first person that he's seen in a long time. She couldn't begin to imagine just how miserable he really was.

When he held her in his arms for the first time, after he rescued her from the wolves, she could feel his uneasiness. At that moment, anyone would've been able to see it. It was clear in her mind that he was ashamed of himself...

When she rested her head on his chest, she could hear his heart beating franticly. At that time Belle knew that he was as unsure about this as she was. She could almost feel his emotions, they were overwhelming. It was almost like she could feel all the pain he was feeling.

She had to find him.

She was still in pain but that wasn't important at the time. Bella knew that he was outside, hiding from her or perhaps even watching her. Her kind heart told her that she couldn't just let it be. She would put her fears aside and go to him, just to see if he was alright.

She gathered all her strength and got up from the bed she was sitting on. It was hard but she knew it had to be done. Bella began to look around, trying to find something that might help her walk. She found a short cane like branch close to the door. She began to walk towards her goal, and almost forgot about the pain she was feeling. It was almost like the well being of another was more important than her own. And in a way, it was. Her determination was unshakable and proven so by reaching the door was quickly as she would have if she didn't suffered from a leg injury. She grabbed the cane and walked out of the cabin. It was almost dark outside and still, she could see everything rather clearly. She began to look around, trying to find any signs of the beast's whereabouts. After walking outside, around the house, she still didn't find anything that could point towards his location.

As she turned around and headed back to the house, she heard a loud roar piercing through the silence of the forest. Surprisingly, it didn't sound raging or angry, it was filled with despair and sadness. He was close; she could hear his sad howling from a distance. With nothing left to do, Bella followed the sounds. The closer she got, the more she realised what was happening. These howls were also accompanied by sobs and cries. She felt her heart tighten .It almost made her shed tears as well.

Bella knew that she was the reason for his pain.

As she got closer, she could see his large frame, resting on the ground. He looked so sad, so miserable. She could hear his loud breathing and his cries, so filled with despair. Bella knew that he was too lost in his own emotions to even realise that she was here. She wanted to reach out and touch his shoulder, just to reassure him, to let him know that she was here, but she didn't. Instead, she sat down on the ground next to him and waited for him to acknowledge her presence. He still had his back turned from her, so she couldn't see his face. She remembered his eyes, blue just like the sky. They were beautiful. Those were the eyes of an angel, which was an ironic contradiction to what she was seeing.

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She was close, he could almost feel her. Why did she come here, to him? Did she genuinely cared, or did she want to get a better look at the freak show before she ran away? He never wished to be invisible, more than at that moment. How could she stand to be this close to a monster? He couldn't even handle what he was, so how could she? She was a mystery to him. It's been months since he's seen another person, and now it was almost overwhelming.

He could barely hold his emotions in check. As much as he tried, he couldn't hold back his tears. The pain was so unbearable. It almost felt like his soul was being ripped out from his body. It was unlike anything he ever felt. At that moment, he didn't care about anything, he just wanted his suffering to stop. He wished he could be numb, to pain but mostly to her.

She was causing so much turmoil inside of him. But he couldn't be angry about that. She didn't ask to be in this situation.

And neither did he.

They were two strangers, who would have no choice but to get to know each other. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing, if only he knew what to expect.

He never had a friend before, and for a long time he didn't believe that he would have one someday.

How he hated to be alone. And now she was here.

She could provide so much, but the only thing he wanted was a friend. For now that would be enough.

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She was so close to him, she could almost hear him breathe.

At that moment, he looked like a lost little boy. Alone, frightened .But mostly sad.

Bella had no greater wish than to take his pain away. She placed her hand on his shoulder, just to see his reaction. It was almost like a dream, as if she still didn't believe what was happening. First being chased by wolves and then rescued. And now she was here, in the woods, trying to comfort her saviour. She was alone with a beast, that made her somewhat uneasy but she pushed those thoughts aside.

When he finally decided to acknowledge her presence, it was nightfall. He turned to look at her, their eyes met. He couldn't help but be grateful for her presence. She was like an angel, the greatest gift he could've asked for. To him, she was beyond perfect. She was so beautiful. She was the image of everything good.

She smiled at him, but only for a moment. Léon wanted to do the same but he knew that a mouthful of sharp teeth would surely ruin the moment. He closed his eyes, almost believing that this was a dream, but it wasn't. She was still here, still looking at him with kind eyes. It was killing him, how much he wanted to hold her tightly in his arms and breathe in her scent. To touch her hair with his paw .And hopefully be touched in return. He couldn't help but shiver at the thought. He couldn't even begin to describe how much he wanted her. To feel her body pressed against his, cuddled together on his bed....

He never had such thoughts, he never wanted anyone before.

Maybe it was because he knew that he wouldn't experience anything like this. When your convinced that your not going to get something, you try to avoid it all together. But now she was so close, he couldn't help but wonder about it. What would it be like if he were to be with her? He could be kind. He could be gentle with her. He could be all of those things. Léon was ready to be everything she needed.

He still had his eyes closed, he was relaxed and his breathing had slowed down a big deal. He could feel her warmth. He couldn't help but enjoy the experience. It was so unreal, she was here with him, she seemed unafraid .Almost calm. She was touching him, stocking the fur on his neck, this couldn't get any more surreal for him. For the first time in his life, he was having some kind of intimate exchange. A beautiful girl was willingly touching him! The feeling was unbelievable. It had never been like this when his mother would comfort him. The girl was much more delicate, her touch was softer and much more gentle.

He didn't want her to stop. He wanted the two of them to stay like this forever, but it wouldn't be that way. This moment would have to end.

He just wanted to enjoy this moment with her for a long as he could. Because he didn't know what would happen next.

No words were spoken, they both knew that they would have to get back to the house. He got up to his feet first and offered his help to the girl, so she could stand. She took his paw and gladly accepted his offer, giving him a reassuring smile.

They walked back to the cabin silently, not even realising that they were still holding hands until they were inside.