A/N: Little longer to update this time, but I had to do the more boring kind of writing I actually get paid for :P In this chapter Tamsin is maybe four.
"Wow, back up, back up! I'm just gonna, urgh, just one sec, this, oh my god, so much fire! Stand back, I just need to…"
Kenzi ushered Tamsin away from the sudden inferno raging in the kitchen. She threw some water in the general direction of the flame before settling on smacking it with all the kitchen towels she could grab. Eventually the fire seemed to take the hint and settle down to a gentle smoldering that Kenzi snuffed with a metal pot lid.
"Oh, wow, that was something, huh?" Kenzi commented, staring down at Tamsin. Tamsin looked skeptically back up at Kenzi.
Kenzi shrugged, "I totally meant to do that. It's how you always do this part."
"Okay." Tamsin agreed, still looking unconvinced about this event, and at the kitchen shenanigans in general that Kenzi was putting them through in the name of a healthier diet.
"Let's just see how they look…" She lifted the lid to see the charred remains of her would-be pancakes. "Hm, maybe with some syrup? Like, so much syrup."
She scooped one up and barely managed to get it on to the plate as it instantly crumbled at the touch, revealing an equally burned center. "Or maybe not," she sighed at this latest failed attempt.
She pulled off the apron hanging around her neck and tossed it off into some corner behind her with another deep sigh. She put her hands on her hips as she swept her eyes over the kitchen.
Tamsin had climbed onto the stool to get a better look and now peered down at the sad pancake.
"Mama, if you want, I try to eat this one?" Tamsin said in an attempt to hearten, seeing Kenzi's low spirits.
Kenzi peeked at the girl and saw her give her a timid encouraging look. Her expression snapped Kenzi out of her rut, as she realized the girl was affected by her sour mood and frustrated body language. She shook the stiffness out of her limbs. Tamsin smiled wider at seeing Kenzi smile again.
"No baby, don't eat that stupid firecake. Ugh, you are so sweet, I could just eat you instead my widdle Tam-Tam." Kenzi grabbed Tamsin's face and smushed her chubby cheeks, leaning in while making gobbling sounds like she intended to take a bite from the child.
Tamsin giggled in delight, curling her chin into her chest to avoid getting gobbled up. "No Mama, you can't eat me!"
"Well, Tiny Tam, if I can't eat you then what else is there? I guess we better go to the store and buy some more ingredients and try again, huh?"
"Yeah, store!" Tamsin approved enthusiastically, already thinking of all the snacks she was going to convince Kenzi to buy for her with some masterfully employed puppy-dog eyes.
"Well okay then, we better get you dressed then, come on!" She lifted Tamsin to the floor and took her hand, guiding her up the stairs and to their room to get ready.
"Why are there so many fu– darn types? An apple's a fuc– darn apple, why they gotta make it so fancy?" Kenzi grumbled, leaning in to make out the fine print on the first of a dozen apple signs.
"Can get this one?" She heard Tamsin coming up behind her – I really should have gotten a cart to trap her in – carrying something with a rustle to it.
"No," she said sternly, without looking back to see what the girl had picked up this time.
"But –"
"No. Now put it back. We are only getting the things on my list, no more snacks!" She didn't need to shift her gaze to know the girl was putting on a pout, she could practically feel the glare.
"Now!" She said with finality, adding an order, "and then come right back and hold my hand."
She could hear Tamsin stomp and the bag hit the floor with more rustling, but pretended not to notice. After a few tense moments she heard Tamsin pick up the bag with a huff and clomp off to put it back.
She smirked to herself as she kept perusing. Little victories.
Tamsin skipped back to the shelf where she had pulled out the chips and shoved them back roughly, all the while careful not to step on any of the lines between the floor tiles. She turned to continue her improvised hopscotch, when a reflection in the glass doors on the dairy cases caught her eye: The Cereal Aisle.
She abandoned her previous course, instead hopping out a new path toward the pretty distraction.
When she had made it to the reflected image, she pressed her hands and nose to the glass; seeing only bags of milk she looked around for the source of her intrigue. There behind her she was met with the original in its full glory – every kind of sugary breakfast food she could have ever imagined stretched out before her for a seeming eternity.
One foot in front of the other, heel to toe, she moved down the aisle slowly, entranced by the colorful boxes. She dragged an outstretched hand softly over each box, tracing out the pictures of ships and rabbits. She had just pulled her hand across a particularly bright box when she braked abruptly and backtracked. A little man in a green hat smiled up at her as he juggled a rainbow and a moon and other vibrant shapes. His eyes spoke to her, telling a compelling tale as she ran her fingertips along the paths made by the floating mallows.
This was the one. Never had she seen anything that she needed as much as this green man box. She wrapped her arms around the box that was almost as big as her and hugged it close to her body.
"Mama!" She shouted as she faced the aisle, but there was no one. She took two steps to the left, again calling for her Momz, but there was still no response, only a vast expanse of sterile white tile.
She turned the other way, stumbling a few steps forward and shouting again, but nowhere could she see her Momz coming to get her. Panic filled her as she swiveled around and around, still clutching the box securely, her knuckles turning white. She cried out in despair, not sure what to do – she was all alone. The figures on the boxes leered down at her, the shelves towering up endlessly high and long.
She started to run down the aisle, but for all her efforts, her little legs failed to bring her Momz into view. She saw a gap in the boxes to her left and abandoned her prized box, ducking into the hole to shelter from the threatening shapes.
"Aha! You are the one!" Kenzi proclaimed a bit too loudly, triumphantly raising the apple of her choosing above her head in front of her. She rolled a few more off the display and into her basket as the surrounding shoppers returned to their own grocery needs. "Okay Tammerz, we are just about done here, all we need now is…" She trailed off, suddenly noticing the lack of one surly sulker by her side.
"Tam?" No response. "Tammy? Tamsin?" She looked around her for blonde curls, but there was no one.
"Tamsin come here right now! This isn't funny!" She commanded as she rounded the apple display to check the child wasn't merely out of her line of sight, perhaps sullenly lurking to show her displeasure at losing their snack-battle. But the more she hunted, the more she realized the girl wasn't merely being stubborn, she was actually gone.
"Tamsin. Oh my god. Tamsin. Tamsin!" She yelled with ever-increasing volume as she rushed around the vegetable section, searching for the girl. Her frantic voice attracted the attention of the other shoppers, who turned to gawk. A shop attendant approached her.
"Miss, miss! What seems to be the problem?" He asked Kenzi once he held a modicum of her attention.
"My – my daughter, she's missing! Tamsin, she's gone!" Kenzi shouted hysterically, one hand tangling in her hair.
"Miss, if you would just calm down, we'll –"
"Don't tell me to calm down! My baby is missing! What if she's hurt? What if she's been kidnapped?" Apples rolled across the floor as she let her basket fall and tip over.
"Miss, I'm sure she has just wandered off," he tried to placate her. "We'll just play a message on the com and I'm sure someone will spot her…"
But Kenzi was not listening, already beyond hysterical as she leaned forward with her hands on her knees, hyperventilating with loud gasps. All she could hear was the blood gushing in her ears, fear seizing her whole being.
"I'm gonna throw up," Kenzi groaned, and would have fallen forward if the man hadn't put a steadying hand on her shoulder, holding her in place.
"Please don't. I'm sure any second now someone will – See, look here."
Kenzi threw herself into an upright position and almost collapsed, staggering as black spots filled her vision.
"Did you say someone's missing a child?" A woman approaching the pair asked. "Because there is a little girl sitting in the cereal boxes…"
Before the woman could finish Kenzi had shoved past her, rushing off toward the cereal, with a little help from the man, who tugged her arm to set her off in the right direction. She sprinted down the aisle calling for Tamsin, stopping at the out of place box on the floor. She got on her hands and knees, searching among the boxes.
"Tamsin!"
"Mama!" Tamsin cried out in return, crashing out through the boxes into Kenzi's open arms. Kenzi kissed her tear-stained cheeks, then cradled her protectively against her body, letting out a sob of relief.
She could feel the bones in the little body creaking and growing and held her tighter, shielding her from the prying eyes of onlookers.
"It's okay baby, I got you, it's okay. Mama's here now," she soothed, rubbing the girl's back and rocking them slightly back and forth. Tamsin's body soon relaxed under her touch, her crying letting up.
Kenzi struggled to get to her feet while not releasing her death grip on the child. All thoughts of shopping were gone as she simply pressed through the small crowd and shakily marched out the door with Tamsin cuddled in her arms.
"Mama, aren't we gonna make pancakes?" Tamsin asked softly from where she lay limply, tucked into their bed. Her pyjamas were now a bit short in the arms, Kenzi could see, where the limbs were splayed over the covers, surrounded on all sides by pillows.
"Well, we can't make pancakes, 'cause we didn't actually buy any ingredients at the store. But we can try again on a different day, and maybe make some pancakes you can actually eat, okay Tammy?"
"Okay. I'm real sleepy anyways," Tamsin yawned.
"Yeah, I bet you are baby. Open." Kenzi lifted another spoonful of applesauce to the girl's lips from her spot kneeling by the side of the bed, her elbows resting on the mattress.
Tamsin lifted her head just far enough out of her pillow-nest to swallow the mouthful before falling weakly back into the bed.
"Mama, my everywhere hurts," she whimpered, trying to adjust her limbs on the cushions. Kenzi turned up the heat on the electric blanket, tucking it more snugly around her knees and under her spine.
"I know baby, my poor Lil T. Growing hurts sometimes, but it will be better soon. You just need to have some applesauce and a long nap, and when you wake up tomorrow it will be all better," she cooed, stroking the hair off the miserable child's forehead.
Tamsin sucked in a heavy breath and let out a broken sigh, her lips trembling when she turned her eyes to Kenzi. As a few tears gathered in the corners, she was a truly pathetic sight to see, and Kenzi's heart ached knowing there was nothing she could do to erase that look from eyes normally filled with mischief or awe.
She leaned in to kiss Tamsin's forehead. "Last bite," she smiled, holding up the spoon and discarding the empty plastic cup.
As Tamsin swallowed and lay back, Kenzi pulled up the blankets for final adjustments before carefully crawling into bed next to her, curling her body protectively around the tiny person under the covers. She let one hand gently come to rest on Tamsin's tummy, petting softly in a gesture of comfort, not that Tamsin could feel it through the layers of comforters she was engulfed in.
"Now you just go to sleep, and I'll be right here."
"No leaving." Tamsin mustered, her eyelids already drooping shut.
"I promise, I'm not going anywhere." But the girl probably never heard her words, already fallen into deep sleep.