Adam's POV
The smell of burnt skin still wafts in the air as I wake up. I fell asleep burning myself again; this is the 3rd time this week. I don't want to go to work today; that would only remind me of her because she would come in everyday and bring me lunch which would end up with her against my office wall and a heavy duty make-out session. I can't right now and I don't know when I will be able to go back there without thinking about her. I should probably make myself busy today.
I look at the clock; it reads 8:15. I groan and roll over only to meet the floor with my body. I lay there for what seems like forever before picking myself back up again. I shuffle to the closet and try to ignore the bright colors of yellow, pink, and baby blue on the left side of his closet but to no avail I just stare at it thinking of her.
FLASHBACK
She would be the first one up; she would be prying to God on the side of the bed in a whisper in hopes of not waking me. I'd wake up anyway and wait until she utters her last "amen" and put my hands over her eyes. Of course we'd play the guess who game and she be flirty and say everyone but me. When she finally got to me I would pick her up and throw her on the bed and pin her with no means of escape. The moment would turn from sweet to seductive in seconds. "What do you plan to do with me, Adam," she'd say in a seductive purr that would send chills down my spine. "I plan to…" I would never know what to say because the look on her face would make my whole brain shut down. I'd pretend to go down for a kiss but start tickling her instead. She'd beg and plead for me to stop with tears rolling down her face; she'd tried to break my hold but the hours at the gym have been good to me. I would finally get tired from holding her down and I stop while she catches her breath. I'd watch her heavy breathing and slight chuckles escape from her lips and I would come down and kiss her softly. Biting her bottom lip, I would hear her moan. I'd carefully slide my hands onto her hips; playing with the hem of her shirt and gently sliding it up. She got up and pushed me off of her. "I'm sorry, Adam. You remember last time. We can't." Last time we got so close to actually doing it. I had most of her clothes off and I couldn't hide my desire nor could diminish it. "I want to keep my promise to God," Becky said the last time and I knew that she meant that now. She kissed me on the cheek and got ready for work. I just sat there in my own thoughts and I didn't notice her leave. I need to marry her- today. I don't know why I've waited this long. She loves me and I love her; also, I'm comfortable in my own body. I wouldn't want to take the next step with anyone but her. I go over to the closet and grab a plastic ring I won Becky at the carnival last September. It would have to do for now until I go shopping for a real ring. I got everything I needed and went to go surprise Becky at work and take her home. I was happy and giddy and I couldn't contain my excitement as I was about to propose to my girlfriend of 10 years.
END FLASHBACK
My memories are interrupted by a loud banging at the door. I realize that I'm clutching Becky's cardigan for dear life- I really have it bad. I shuffle down to the front door and look through the peep-hole and someone's hand is covering it. I open it slightly but the person on the other side shoves it open and walks in.
"Do you love Becky or not?" yelled Kelly. I met Kelly briefly while Becks and I were Florida. We invited her to the wedding but she couldn't get away from work. It took me forever to calm her down. I wonder what she's doing here.
"Kelly, what are you doing here? How do you know where I live?"
She walks over to the living room and looks down in disgust over the mounds upon mounds of takeout and pizza on the coffee table. She swipes it all to the floor and sits on the couch while propping her crossed feet on the table.
"Go ahead and make yourself at home," I mutter under my breath.
"Those questions are irrelevant until you answer mine," she says, "Do you love Becky or not?"
"Of course I love her you know that!"
She gets up and slaps me across the face. I'm taken aback by the action and fall to the floor.
"No, Adam, I don't know that; you're doing a real shitty job of showing her. You have given up on her. I guess you didn't mean your vows at all when you said through sickness and in health you'd stand by her. She is sick right now and you just laid down and died because your own damn insecurities came back again. Can't you see she's lost without you?"
"Lost without me? SHE DOESN'T EVEN REMEMBER ME," I yell standing up to meet her face to face. "She doesn't remember when we first met, she doesn't remember asking me to be her secret boyfriend, she doesn't remember our first kiss, she doesn't remember how bad we both hurt when she broke up with me the first time, she doesn't remember saying yes to me when I proposed to her," I yell back at her while tears are streaming down my face. I'm so angry and hurt I throw a vase into the door frame of the kitchen. "And she sure as hell doesn't remember loving Me." I sink to the floor- too exhausted to even stand anymore.
I hear Kelly come over and sit next to me. We are both silent for a moment until she starts talking again.
"Adam, she does remember. I went over to her house today- she told me a dream that she had last night. I knew it wasn't a dream but a memory because she called me after your date was over. It was the first time you told her you loved her- do you remember that?"
"Like it was yesterday," I say half smiling at the memory.
"You can't give up, Adam; she needs you just as much as you need her. Right now, she feels empty inside- like part of her soul is missing. She doesn't realize that that part is you; help her realize that only you can fill that void."
"But the last time I saw her she hated me."
"She doesn't hate you- she never has. I promise if you go see her now, she won't yell at you. I know she loves you deep down inside and its not going to take much for her to see that again."
"I just want my wife back," I say with my head in my hands. I feel Kelly's hand on my shoulder and I look up at her.
"Then go get her."
Really busy summer you guys you have no idea. I'm trying to get a basketball scholarship and that takes a lot of time and everything else had to be put on the backburner for a while. But school is starting soon so I will be going back into a schedule and I will be updating sooner.
Sorry for the long wait! R&R!
-SMS