Hi guys - here's the new installment!

Enjoy! x

Someone up in the sky didn't want me to die as I woke suddenly in a bed with Draco holding my hand as if he couldn't let go or it was the last time he was going to see me. I couldn't face him knowing what he had told me... All the feelings rose up inside me - how could I talk to him now? The way he felt about me... I couldn't possibly have a stable relationship with him it would be too...difficult.

I had kept myself tangled in a web of lies to protect myself from the outside world so that people couldn't harm or get close to me. To have him so close I was sure that I could handle that, even if I did have feelings for him - which I didn't know at this point whether I could come to be truthful or honest with him. Many years of practicing how to lie to people that I cared or perhaps i had made that up as well - it was becoming harder to tell if I actually cared about these people surrounding me - did I make that up aswell? I had taken a lot of time to build up just to have it knocked down because someone might have feelings for me.

Or I might have feelings for that person , telling me that they could help my life get better - in all honesty my life wasn't perfect with all that had happened.

I was broken, no one deserves a broken package no matter how pretty the outside is. The cracks had started to appear and I couldn't stop thinking about how I used to be before everything had happened. I was fun, I used to help prank people with Fred and George, I used to love listening to Bill and Charlie telling me about their lives as a curse breaker and a dragon trainer.

How I used to love Molly's delicious cooking - now I couldn't help but retch or gag at the smell of any food no matter how good it smelt...

Not to mention the fact I alway wore long sleeves to prevent anyone from knowing what I truly did when I had no one to talk to. When I felt that no-one was there for me.

Draco happened to be the one person that understood me , understood what I was going through and I was being foolish, pushing him away even further - I was pushing away everyone I had ever cared about... I was increasing my chances of being alone.

I steadily walked to the bathroom without waking him , I quietly opened the bathroom door and closed it quickly behind me. Hoping that he hadn't heard me leave. I searched frantically for the small wooden box that held the items that would help me end it all... I couldn't find the box anywhere , taking out the various draws out - taking them and spilling their contents out on to the cold tile flooring. All different items clattering on the hard floor - I was becoming more worried that box held the keys to my life.

In essence it was my life-line , the noise must have woken Draco up as I heard him open the bedroom door. I muttered a quick locking spell and cursed myself for forgetting a silencing spell... Draco persistantly knocked on the door: "Hermione! 'Mione!" "No!" I shouted back "Open up! If you are looking for a certain little box then stop..." Then all went silent...I stopped for a split second and continued to search the room thinking that he was bluffing. Until I heard a familiar spell - alohomora which opened the door and I crumbled to the floor.

By that time I guessed that he really did have it.

I sloped to the ground as I couldn't be bothered to worry about how I looked with Draco..In all honesty I probably looked like a mess to him. He could leave me to it for all I care - he took away MY special box, he didn't have that right...he shouldn't have done that. He slipped in to the room and closed the door behind him - he slowly crouched down to my level.

" 'Mione , I did it for your own good, nothing good will come of it - how could I let something like that happen to you?"

I didn't speak - to shocked to from the words I needed to say as if someone had sealed my lips together. My hands felt clammy...

I started to cold-sweat , I didn't feel right. It made me think.

I haven't cut myself in the last 24 hours because a certain blonde boy was keeping an eye on me...

I was going to have a panic attack - I didn't have my special pain reliever. I started to rock back and forth cradling my head against my knees - curled up in a foetal position. I had read about a condition like this in a muggle magazine where these symptoms would appear. I think it was called these side affects were from withdrawal but that couldn't happen to me , I didn't even use or take any form of drugs. It just didn't make sense, why do I feel these symptoms of withdrawal?

Draco looked at me cautiously and apologetically at the same time and I felt as if I could tell what was running through his mind. I stood and approached him quickly and started beating my fists against his chest - screaming like a two year old having a tantrum with tears staining my face ,we both sank to the floor as he just placed his strong but stable arms gently around me until I was fresh out of tears and had stopped hitting him.

He kept whispering to me words of encouragement to calm me down - he knew what stress he had caused me. Rubbing soothing circles on my back- the tears still rolling down my cheeks. He had seen me at the lowest point in my life - I had hit rock bottom and he was there for me which was unexpected to say the least.

He just wasn't that type of person to seemed to have cared about me,but he was here with me at this point of my life and could not thank him enough- perhaps my heart did hold a special place for him. Like he did for me? Although I couldn't always voice my opinions but I simply had to get my special box back so I didn't have to suffer anymore.

No matter how much I cared for him , he had still gone against my wishes. Although I felt as if the whole world was crashing down - the strength to keep me going and throwing myself off a building was from Draco. He was my saviour...the one special person that would help me through my dark times...little did I know it yet.

"If you can hear me 'Mione , I will always be here for you - to help you along the way as well as all of your friends..." he spoke softly and sounded as if he wasn't expecting an answer from me.

I surprised him with a croaky voice:

"I'm not promising you anything Draco because I'm not sure that I'll be able to pull through with it...but I'll try for you..."

I leant forward and kissed his forehead softly before sinking back it to his arms, exhausted and still slightly unstable.

I would try for his sake and all of my friend's sakes...not for me - I was just a lost cause , a disappointment, someone who couldn't be depended on...

I had been called these names so many time, so many people had judged me on my outer appearance...no-one apart from a few friends knew what I was truly capable of.

At least I had Draco there for me...the unlikely suspect that would help me get better.

I couldn't help but think forward to what the future would hold in store for me...

He started to hum the tune to a song I knew very well - it was one of my favourite muggle bands although it confused me on how Draco new such a song...

He then started to sing softly to me:

"But remember I am human and I'm bound to sing this song
So hear my voice,
Reminds you not to bleed
I am here

Saviour!
Will be there
When you are feeling alone, ohhh
A saviour, for all that you do
So you live freely without their harm..."

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*UPDATE 23.12.14: I HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY BUT HOPEFULLY I'LL HAVE A NEW CHAPTER UP BY THE END OF TODAY OR TOMORROW (i.e. 23 or 24.12.14) - I'M SO SORRY ITS BEEN SO LONG! Xx