"Are you sure?" I finally ask
"Yes." Kurt says
"She told us that." Mercedes adds
"But, she...we...I...I didn't pop her cherry." I say with panic in my voice
"Don't be vulgar, Satan." Kurt says, but I'm barely listening
"Santana, if you want to know what's going on you have to ask Rachel." Mercedes says before her and Kurt link arms and walk down the hallway. I stand in complete shock until I hear the bell ring and my legs start working again.
The rest of the day was all a blur. I don't think I've spoken to anyone. Quinn and Britt tried to ask me what was wrong during lunch and my response was 'Ugh'. Seriously I can't fully comprehend what Kurt and Mercedes told me. Rachel would never ask me to take her virginity in an office at school. Oh Fuck! How is this whole 'Me taking Rachel's virginity in Mr Schue's office and now she's avoiding me' thing going to affect operation Pezberry? Is she ever truly going to be mine or does she think I'm just using her? I'm planning on talking to her now during glee rehearsal, but I'm freaking out. I'm just pacing back and forth in the choir room.
"San?" I hear Quinn from behind me
"Yeah?" I ask as I turn to face her
"Are you ok? You've been acting strange today. Should I be worried?"
"No." I answer so quick and loud that she can obviously tell that I'm lying.
"What's wrong?" Quinn asks as she crosses her arms
"It's about Rachel!" I recognize Brittany's voice coming from the doorway
"Rachel?" Quinn asks confused "What about Rachel?"
"San took her V-card." Britt says as she walks towards us
"B, how could you possibly know that?" I ask shocked, because I certainly wouldn't tell her
"San, you, Kurt, and Mercedes need to learn that if you want to talk privately, don't talk in the hallway." Britt says in her 'duh' voice
"Right." I hope Britt was the only one who heard us in hall, because now that I think about it, it was stupid for us to talk about something like that in the hall.
"Wait a minute here." Quinn says "You took Rachel's virginity? " I nod "Is that bad?"
"Would you define losing your virginity in Mr Schue's office bad?" I ask
"San, when I lost my virginity I got pregnant." Quinn says stating the obvious and I should slap myself for even asking her that "So, I wouldn't define that as bad."
"But, she's been avoiding me ever since it happened." I say frowning, If I had known she was a virgin I would have never taken her virginity the way I did.
"Really? I would of thought she'd get all clingy after." Quinn says
"I would of taken clingy over this." As I said this I notice Quinn's queen bitch smirk
"You love her!" Quinn says louder than necessary
"Shhhh, Quinn could you be any louder?" I ask her pissed off that she would say that so loud
"It's true though." Britt says "Isn't it?"
"Yes." I sigh "I'm in love with Rachel. But, she hasn't talked to me since I took her virginity. What if she regrets it? What is she doesn't want to see me anymore? What if I blew any chance I had with her?"
"What if you stop with all the damn questions and just talk to her?" Quinn says rolling her eyes
"I've tried!" I shout "I'm waiting for her to show up so we cam talk now."
"Santana, do you really want to talk to her during rehearsal?" Quinn asks "In front of everyone?"
"No." It sucks how right Quinn is. If Rachel and I are going to talk it has to be in private
"I have an idea." Britt says "San, wait in Mr Schue's office and I'll tell Rachel Mr Schue wants to see her." Leave it to Britt to come up with a simple solution to my big problem
I nod and walk towards Schue's office and wait for Britt to go ahead with this idea of hers. I hope this plan works, because I don't know why Rachel's been avoiding me. I'm afraid she regrets losing her virginity to me and doesn't want to see me anymore. Just the thought of not seeing Rachel hurts in a way I didn't even know I could hurt. I need to know what's bothering Rachel and fix it soon, because I can't stand not talking to her every day. I decide while I wait for Rachel I'll sit in Mr Schue's chair and spin it to face the wall. I only wait for a couple minutes before I hear someone come in.
"You wanted to see me?" I hear Rachel ask
"Why yes I did, Ms Berry." I say as I spin the chair around to look at Rachel
"San?"
"Well, it sure as hell ain't the Godfather."
"It's just Brittany said, oh I should have known." Rachel sighs "Why am I here, Santana?"
"Oh, I just wanted to run some investment ideas by you." I say sarcastically "Why do you think you're here?"
"I...I don't know." She whispers and lowers her head
"You do know Rachel, but if you want me to spell it out for you I will." I say as I cross my arms and rest my legs on Mr Schue's desk "Why have you been avoiding me?"
"What?" Rachel laughs nervously "I haven't been avoi-"
"Don't lie to me, Rachel." I say with a stern voice. Damn sitting behind this desk makes me feel like such a badass!
"I'm not!" She shouts defensively
"Rachel, earlier in the hall you looked me dead in the eye and ran away." I say and Rachel lowers her head
"It wasn't suppose to happen like that." She whispers
"You mean losing your virginity?" Rachel nods "I'm so sorry, Rachel."
"Don't be." Rachel says "I asked you to."
"Why did you ask me to?" I ask confused
"Well, you telling me about your dream and saying I had no idea what kind of things you wanted to do to me, had me the most aroused I've ever been. I couldn't help but ask you to just take me." Rachel explains
"I shouldn't of agreed to it. You deserve romance and someone making you feel special, like telling you how beautiful you are and taking time to explore your body." I say feeling guilty of some sort of crime
"Santana, this isn't your fault. What happened took two people. I never asked you to stop, even though I know you would have if I did." Rachel says "It's just, I always planned to lose my virginity when I was 25 and to someone who was in love with me. It kind of messed up my plans." I am in love with you! Why can't I say it out loud?
"You know what, Rachel." I say as I take my feet off the desk "It kind of messed up my plan too."
"What plan?"
"Im going to show you something." I say as I pick up my backpack and pull out my notebook. "Before I show you this, you have to promise not to laugh at me."
"I promise." Rachel says as I hand her the notebook. I feel myself start to panic when she opens it and starts reading. "Operation Pezberry?" She asks with a chuckle
"You promised not to laugh." I whine as I lower my head onto the desk
"I'm sorry." She says as she starts to read out loud "Phase one, break up Finn and Rachel. Finn and I have been broken up for three months."
"Well, I've liked you for a long time." Rachel smiles at me as she continues to read
"Phase two, be nicer to Rachel so we can be friends first. That explains why you stopped insulting me."
"I shouldn't of ever insulted you in the first place." I say feeling guilty yet again
"I've already forgiven you, Santana." Rachel says before she goes back to reading "Phase three, ask Rachel on a date. I see you skipped that one."
"I skipped quite a few actually. Phase four was to meet your fathers, because I know how important they are to you." I explain "Then phase five was after four dates, I would ask you to be my girlfriend."
"When exactly was sex planned in 'Operation pezberry'?" Rachel asks with a sexy smirk
"Phase six" I answer quickly not sure if I should be proud or embarrassed that I remembered the whole plan "On our one month anniversary."
"You're a secret romantic, aren't you?" Rachel says as she gives me my notebook back
"I never was until I realized I wanted you." I confess
"So, I was right." Rachel says with a smirk "You like me."
"Rachel," I stop to take a deep breath,because this is it. I have to tell her right now how I feel about her. What if she rejects me? What if she doesn't want a relationship? I'm starting to panic a little when I realize she's waiting for me to say something. Say it! Say it now! "I love you."