Transcripts of Jackal: CASE NUMBER SINGH
Patient interview number: 1
April 9, 2008
Beginning of session
Doctor Singh is feeling a bit under the weather right now. But his good friend, Jackal, is here to help him talk through his feelings. Aren't I, Josiah?
Away, get away-
[Sound of striking, small pained cry, silence]
Honey, learn to shut up. Anywho, dear, let's talk about your family for once, instead of just mine. Do you have a wife? Daughter? Son? Tell Mama Jackal.
W-wife…daughter…
Lovely! Are they beautiful, Josiah?
…Yes…
I bet they are. You're a handsome man. Did you know that I lie to you in our sessions?
What?
Yes, yes I do. I lied to you about why my father threw me out. Do you want to know the real reason he did? Of course you do.
[Pacing footsteps]
Well, on a whim, one day I tried on my sister's clothes. I also lied to you about my sister, Dr. Singh. I said she was affectionate. She was…very affectionate. From a young age, she loved her little Michael very much. Too much. She didn't love me; she was in love with me. I think the way she liked to…well, let's just say 'use' me and leave it at that. Your imagination can fulfill what my words can't; use it to fill in those blank spots. Anyway, the way she used me might have been what made me not like women.
[Angry, disgusted sigh]
Women disgust me. I think their bodies are vile; the sight of the nude female form in the flesh makes me nauseous.
[Pacing stops, followed by an airy sigh]
But statues, marble statues of Greek or Roman carving…those bodies I could stand. I wanted to have those bodies; they were gorgeous, don't you see? Real women's bodies are disproportionate, too soft, and too…fragile. I should know!
[Laughter]
Ah…but marble flesh is without imperfection. Can't be destroyed, marred by a knife's edge. At least, not easily. I worked to model myself after those statues. A male Aphrodite. But…
[disappointed sigh]
Not everyone was so enamored by my goals. I began wearing my sister's clothes in secret. Trying on her makeup. I love red lipstick, loved to leave lipstick kisses all over the mirror. My mother would snap at my sister for kissing everything. Would hit her. She never admitted to doing it, and nobody even dare suspect Michael. He's not that sick in the head, is he? Of course not.
[Footsteps stop a second time, very suddenly]
And one day, my father walks in to see me in lingerie. My mother's. He's enraged. Sickened. He hits me; the first time that he's ever done this to me. He calls me all sorts of horrible names, things I dare not taint my dainty tongue with to repeat. He throws me out, then and there, in women's underwear and smeared lipstick. Tells me never to come back. And I don't.
[Footsteps start again, quick; predatory]
Dr. Singh, they all…well, all of you psychiatrist types, tell me that you can help me. But when I try to tell you, about me, about what I've done, you shrink away and extend not a helping hand, but pills instead. I don't like your type. I don't want your help any more. I don't need you. I don't need your idea of 'sanity'. I'm not insane. I just hate a little too much for my own good. But…oh, there are things that I love. And they're sharp things.
Get away, Michael…
Oh there there, don't cry. Here, I'll sit with you, honey, and we can comfort one another.
[Movement noise, followed by defeated whimpers and soft shushing]
There there…do you want to know the secret to life? There's a trick. Would you like to know it?
Y…
The trick, honey, is to keep breathing.
[Soft cooing, whispering, followed by the noise of the door slamming open]
Get away from him, Jackal! On the floor! We found him! Get on the fucking floor!
I'm sorry, Dr. Singh, but it looks like our time has come. I hope to see you again, honey.
On the floor!
Note to self…must find a better way to keep the millicents out for a bit longer. They have a love of interrupting my work.
[Pained yelp, stomping noise, shouting]
Dr. Singh? Dr. Singh, are you all right?
[Unintelligible whimpering]
Get someone in here! And get that freak the hell out of here! Shove him in solitary!
Bye-bye, Dr. Singh…
Is someone coming for Singh? Oh hell, what the fuck did he do to him? Hey, turn off that fucking tape recorder.
[Tape cuts off suddenly]
End of session