And so the gang walked through the plains of Algaria.
"Isn't it awfully quite?" Asked Lelldorin, who was looking around in search of the algar's cows and horses and humans and more horses.
"If you would just shut up it would be!!" Belgarath yelled at him, shaking awake from his slumber and falling back down to sleep.
Lelldorin looked at him with sour contentment
"Your simple mind can't comprehend how strange it is for such a huge and normally full of movement place to be so quiet."
"What part of shut up you don't understand?!" Garion yelled at him
They all looked at him, surprised.
"What?! Just grandfather can yell at everyone?!
"Yes" Poledra said simply "He is the leader of the pack."
Garion grumbled something under his breath.
"Why is he the leader of the pack" he wailed after a few minutes of silence "I killed Torak! I have the orb!. I should be the leader of the pack!"
"The pretty lady has a point" said Lady Barack, scratching his now beardless chin "Why are you the leader? Why is a male always the leader?! I find this all so...sexist!!"
Belgarath didn't answer. He was too busy snoring.
"I should be the leader" Asserted Ce'Nedra."· I have plenty of experience at handling big incursions and huge armies"
They all laughed at her. Ce'Nedra puffed in anger.
"Look, I have dealt with those retards for centuries" said a waving Polgara, trying to place her unfocused eyes on the Queen of the World and pointing at Lelldorin., the retiring the King of the Idiots who would of course be back on business when all of this was cleared out and fixed "So I should be the leader of thy all retards"
Poledra cleared her throat and Polgara looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Is there a problem, dearest mother?"
"I think you forget something, dear child"
"What may that be? Uh!?" Polgara got down of the horse belligerently, but fell face first on the mud.
Durnik yelped and went to help her.
"I AM the lead female" Poledra said vehemently
"Well, methinks that I'm most fully prepared to have mine own pack. And since this idiot" Polgara said after cleaning the mud out of her face while pointing at the snoring Belgarath contemptuously "made me abandoned my duchy I will imposed myself into his own pack."
She then proceeded to laugh evilly and Poledra bared her teeth and just jumped against her daughter, snarling. Both sorceresses started growling, barking and biting at each other like two infuriated dogs.
"Oh, my…!" Barak said, covering his painted lips with a hairy hand.
"Stop it!" CeNedra shouted alarmingly and then she nudged Garion sharply on his ribs
"Aw! What was that for?!"
"Do something!"
"But I'm enjoying this!"
Ce'Nedra looked around wildly and slapped Belgarath on the head.
"What are you doing?!" The old sorcerer said indignantly.
"Do something!" she said, pointing at Aunt Pol and Grandmother Poledra who were chewing on each other's legs.
Belgarath sighed brusquely and got down of his horse. Once on the floor he pulled his pants up and moved towards them. Then he picked Polgara and Poledra up from the neck and separated them.
"That's enough!!"
"She started it!!" Poledra wailed, pointing at her daughter accusingly
"I did not!"
"Yes you have!"
"No one cares who started it!!" Lelldorin shrieked "Look, everyone here knows that we don't stand each other so the faster we finish with this the faster we won't have to look at each other's faces anymore!"
They all thought about it for a moment and then nodded in agreement.
"I say we all vote to decide who the leader can be" Said Polgara suddenly
"Oh, god. WHY ME?!" Wailed Belgarath brokenly.
"Because you hid pornographic magazines under the master's bed" Poledra reminded him calmly
"That was 6000 years ago!!" He replied desperately "Do I still deserve this punishment?!"
Suddenly, in a puff of blue smoke, appeared Aldur in front of Belgarath's horse.
"Thou do" He said and disappeared again,
Belgarath sulked for the rest of the day.
Two days later and a hundreds of curses later…
"Hey, look! Horses" Barak said happily startling the shO.Oit out of everyone.
"Ohhh look horses! There are horses in the land of the horses!" Lelldorin sang mockingly, clapping his hands.
"Wow…sarcasm! The filthy asturian uses sarcasm! It seemeth to me that thou have brains after all"
"I'm not filthy"
They all laughed at him and now it was his time to sulk
.
"That's not a horse" Poledra pointed out suddenly "The thingy running in front of them is not another horse."
The herd of horses was running towards them…and in front of them there was a naked human running in all his four, whining idiotically. When he was close enough they all realized it was Hettar.
The Lord of the Horses stood in front of them. Ce'Nedra blushed…or she probably did below her dense pelt and Barak whistled approvingly.
"Halt!" Hettar ordered. "Dismount, now!"
They all stared at him and dismounted hurriedly.
"Slavery is forbidden in this land!" the naked Algar informed them. "I will have to take you all under custody for practising slavery on this realm"
"WHAT?!" Belgarath shouted his face red in both anger and envy at what he was seeing below the algar's waist. He walked angrily to Hettar "Under custody?! Do you have any idea to whom you are talking to?!"
Hettar pinched Belgarath's eyes with his long slender middle fingers in a fluid motion. The old sorcerer backed away screaming and cursing in several languages at the same time.
"Betrayal!!" Garion howled, taking his sword out of its sheath. Everyone heard a heart-shaking "Yeyyy" as the Orb exploded into a blinding flash of blue light.
"Watch out!" A horse suddenly yelled "Protect the leader!"
Garion's horse looked around wildly and finally jumped on top of the wide eyed Garion, smashing the God Slayer flat into the grass.
Poledra turned into a wolf but Barak screamed like a girl and smacked her on the back of her head.
"Bad dog!" he shrieked "Don't hurt the horses!"
Poledra was too busy being unconscious to answer.
The rest of the horses surrounded them, their ears pointing straight forward and teeth's bared.
Ce'Nedra puffed angrily and kicked the floor but did everything behind Polgara. Polgara looked first at her unconscious mother, then at her weeping father. Her unfocused eyes widen in terror.
"Hum…" she mumbled and then threw Lelldorin towards the horses and jumped, turning midair into a snowy owl that flew a few meters before smashing beak first into a horse. Polgara fell unconscious on the floor.
The rest of the gang raised their arms hurriedly to surrender.
"Bring them along" Hettar growled fiercely and then he started running in all his fours and whining just as idiotically as before to lead the herd of horses to the stronghold.