I wake up. The feeling of dread overwhelming me. I've lost the man I love. My nightmare had become a reality. Tobias' infidelity was not my fault but how can I feel like it is not? Am I not pretty enough? Curvy enough? I obviously must be inadequate if he had to look for affection and intimacy in the arms of another. I knew thinking like this was dangerous and would only lead to the worse. But to me it cannot get any worse than this. The conversation between Four and Shauna has been running through my mind endlessly, and as badly as this is to say I have been trying to think how in the world can, I ever forgive him. I love him of course I still love him it's been less than 24 hours. I think it's so hard for me to envision myself without him because, I thought I would never have to…

Tobias was the one I've always ran to not from. He was supposed to be the one, the love of my life. My heart aches at the thought of the potential future we were going to have. We talked about marriage, kids, religion, anything and everything. I thought the bond Tobias and I shared was more than physical I thought we were eternal. Maybe I am weak, in Abnegation there was this couple who lived next door to us, they argued constantly behind closed doors but never let anyone see on the outside even though everyone already knew.

Especially me because, I baby sat their young son. Everyone may have known they argued but did not know why but, I did and it was due to infidelity every time I would come over they were arguing she would cry and tell him how much she hated him but, always at the end of the day she came back home. I wonder if she actually stayed because she wanted to, or because the Abnegation in her told her not to leave. Also in Abnegation divorce is frowned upon, once you're married that is it you work through things, whether it is cheating or falling out of love. Marriage is the end all be all in Abnegation, and now I wonder if she feels trapped.

I hop out of bed, it takes me a minute after being held down by my thoughts of the woman next door and all my lost hopes and dreams for Tobias and I's future. I look out the window of Uriah's bedroom, and I can tell from the way the way the sun is peeking out from the sky, like a little kid peeking out at their crush they've locked eyes with on the playground that it is only 5am. At Dauntless 5 am is time everyone gets back from partying and finally heads to bed. I take this as a sign to leave, thanking the heavens I woke up as early as I did. I make back up the bed and head out.

I feel bad not telling Uriah goodbye in person but the note I wrote and left on his counter should make up for it. I just couldn't handle the undoubtable questions that were going to come about Four and I. Because, I know Uriah will want answers, which right now even I don't have.

I tip toe hiding from nothing, yet from everything and everyone. I don't know where to go, I don't know what to do. I'm starting to regret leaving Uriah's but, I needed to get out I was becoming suffocated with my thoughts. I needed to escape. There is nowhere to go, where Tobias won't find me he knows where I feel safest and where I am the most. He will search every nook and cranny to find me even if it is the last thing he does.

So I decide that I need to disappear maybe for a little bit, maybe for a while, but I need to go. I head towards my old apartment where I had things in boxes ready to be moved to Four's. I reach under my mat and open the door with the key. As I shut the door behind me I hear…

"Tris" in a raspy, deep, and low voice I know too well. I turn around meeting the dark blue eyes I know so well and in that moment, his eyes looked like the ocean and I was drowning.

Heyyyyy guys, long time no see? Now I'm dead ass serious I am back and with a vengeance school is crazyyyyyyyyy. But as a 10th grader I am ready to put in the work to committing myself to this story. But I feel as if cheating stories can eventually get boring after a while so I was wondering can you guys comment some ideas? Just as suggestions as on what you would like to read? I love you guys sooo much and all your nice comments. The only thing is I cringe sooooo hard at my old writing style from back in the 7th grade and I imagine you guys do too. But, I will try to update on Friday. Thanks, STAY TUNED XOXO.