Chapter 5
Feeling Emma stroke her hair gently, Sophie closed her eyes as wave of regret washed over her.
'Stay the night with me ... please' Sophie heard snapping her eyes open at the almost pleading tone
Sophie swallowed hard as she slowly nodded.
...
Slowly Sophie opened her eyes, her head was muggy and throbbing and her throat dry, the bed she was in wasn't familiar but the naked brunette beside her was. Closing her eyes again Sophie let out a low groan as memories came flooding back of the hours they'd spent earlier that night, exploring each other's bodies in a hot sweaty, drink fuelled haze. Lifting her aching head from the pillow she glanced at the bedside clock, seeing it was just before 5, gently lifting herself up so not to wake the sleeping girl next to her, placing her feet on the warm carpet, she glanced back as Emma stirred at the shift in weight on the mattress.
'Where you going baby' came the sleepy gentle tones from the shifting brunette as she raised herself onto her elbow, rubbing her tired eyes.
Sophie sighed as she let her eyes rest on the almost pleading look she was getting. Leaning forward she rested her lips lightly on the young brunette's forehead.
'I have to go' she whispered leaving a kiss there as she jumped back away from the bed hurriedly replacing her underwear, as her companion looked on.
'Why' Emma asked replacing her head on the pillow as she watched.
Still dressing Sophie knew she daren't look back.
'I have to open the shop in a couple of hours I need a shower and a change of clothes' she replied as brightly as she could muster as her mind whirred for an excuse to leave.
'I will see you later though ... right' Emma replied in a small voice. Closing her eyes, Sophie plastered a fake smile on her lips as she slowly turned to face the worried features of her ex...
'Course' she replied bending down placing a chaste kiss on the younger woman's lips.
'I'll call you' the older brunette continued getting a relieved smile in return.
Closing the front door behind her Sophie let her body rest against it as she let out a prolonged laboured breath.
'Shit, what have I done' she chastised herself, as she let her head loll backwards against the door.
...
Sian lay awake in her bed watching as shadows cast by passing car's headlights crept across her bedroom ceiling. She was all alone in the flat Mike had called to say he was staying at Amy's, and Sophie hadn't returned at all. She lay there turning over and over in her mind that last look the brunette had given her as she walked away from her that afternoon, it was a look that took her breath, leaving her baffled and confused. But that wasn't what was keeping her awake it was the heavy ache deep in the pit of her stomach that she felt every time the image of Sophie and Emma together entered her head.
Hearing the front door quietly open Sian propped herself up in her bed as she watched a slither of light emanate through the bottom of her door. Throwing back the bedclothes she wrapped her robe around herself as she gingerly opened the bedroom door, following the sound of the kettle being filled, she entered the kitchen as she stood and watched as Sophie leaned against the kitchen sink as she stared out of the window into nothingness.
'You're late' Sophie heard startling her as she swiftly turned in the direction the sound had come from.
The brunette couldn't help but hesitate as she noticed the natural beauty of the blonde stood there with her hands shoved deeply into her robe pockets.
'Yeah' she stuttered as she turned and reached for a cup out of the cupboard.
'I had a few drinks with a friend and crashed at their place' she continued as she poured boiling water into the mug.
'Want one' she asked turning back to the blonde who couldn't help but notice the fresh lovebite on the brunette's neck.
Shaking her head, Sian gave a shy smile as she turned to return to her room.
'Sian' she heard, the sound so soft, so muted it stopped her in her tracks.
'Can I ask you a question?'
Swallowing hard Sian turned nodding her head at the dark haired woman
'I slept with Emma tonight' Sophie stated matter of factly looking the blonde dead in the eye.
'Okay' Sian replied feeling heat tinge her cheeks as she dipped her head diverting her gaze from the penetrating look the brunette was giving her.
'It just feels so wrong' Sophie continued as she pulled a chair from the table and sat down, beckoning for Sian to join. 'It feels like I'm forgetting her'.
'Vicki' Sian asked wanting to clarify as Sophie nodded
Hesitating not wanting to say the wrong thing, Sian shrugged as she smiled at the broken girl opposite her.
'I don't want to sound insensitive, but she's gone Soph' she said softly, noticing a quiver in the brunette's bottom lip.
'And from what I've been told, she wouldn't of wanted you to put your life on hold like this' she continued hoping she wasn't going too far, speaking out of turn.
Silence surrounded them before it was broken by a small hardly audible voice.
'She was so beautiful you know' Sophie whispered eyes not leaving the floor, voice thick with emotion.
'We were so happy ... so happy' she trailed off as she glanced up at the warm responsive eyes looking back at her.
Sian nodded as she let Sophie continue knowing that this was the first time she'd spoken more than two words to her about Vicki or her past.
'When I got that phone call that night' she continued eyes staring off into the distance 'everything just crashed around me, my whole life just stopped, it's like I just fell into this big black hole that I just couldn't climb out of'
Sian remained silent as she listened to the hushed tones...
'I'd had it all planned' the brunette continued, brushing away a fallen tear as she sniffed into the back of her hand. 'I'd bought the ring, even booked the bloody restaurant' she continued letting out a spontaneous laugh as her eye's caught the blue orbs smiling back at her.
'I was going to propose that weekend... it was our anniversary you see' Sian nodded as she let Sophie continue realising that this was what she needed, just to talk, just to let go and tell some-one, and she was glad to just sit and listen.
'I went to see her in the morgue... she looked so beautiful, not a mark on her' Sian felt a lump catch in her throat as the emotion in the broken brunette's voice quivered out. Nodding she smiled encouraging the brunette to continue.
'We had so many plan's, were going to do so much together... holiday's, house, kids... she had it all planned' Sophie laughed out again wiping a fallen tear from her cheek.
'She was a planner... Vicki was... she liked to plan'
'Tell me about her' Sophie heard breaking her from the trance she was in... 'What was she like'
Sophie smiled as she thought back
'Can we go into the living room' she asked as she shifted uncomfortably on the kitchen table chair.
'My bum's getting numb sitting here' she giggled out.
Smiling Sian nodded as she stood.
Making themselves comfortable on the couch Sophie continued, she'd hadn't felt like this before, she'd made so much effort over the years to keep it all in, scared that if she spoke about Vicki that she just wouldn't be able to take the pain, the grief. But now she'd started she just couldn't seem to stop, every little emotion she'd bottled up came pouring out. And Sian just sat and listened, smiling at the humour and consoling at the grief, she knew Sophie needed to do this, she knew this is what everyone had been waiting for, for so long... because now, now she could start to heal.
And Sian was there when the final flood of emotion came spilling out of the sad, lonely figure as sob's started to emanate... and suddenly, spontaneously Sian reached across and pulled the crying girl into her arms cradling her, rocking her until the cries subsided and the shaking stopped, they sat in silence Sophie curled up in Sian's embrace for what seemed like hours. Until eventually the brunette uncurled herself, slowly sitting back Sophie shyly smiled as Sian delicately brushed some hair away from the tear filled face.
'Thank you' Sophie stuttered
'For what' Sian smiled 'I didn't do anything' she continued as her fingers traced down the brunette's cheek.
'You did so much, so much' Sophie whispered her eyes looking deep into light blueness looking so warmly back at her, as she reached up cupping the blondes hand to her cheek.
They were exhausted now drained, Sophie could see the tiredness in the blonde's eyes. Smiling she leaned forward as she pulled Sian into a hug, taking in her delicate scent, she closed her eyes at the closeness, and delicately placed a kiss on the blonde's cheek lingering there just a second, before pulling back and standing. The closeness she felt to this virtual stranger at that moment startled her, how could she feel such a connection with her, such a bond. Pulling back Sophie stood as Sian looked up at her.
'God look at the time' she laughed 'been talking hours' she continued as Sian smiled and nodded.
'You look tired'
'I'm okay' Sian replied suddenly feeling the effects of the emotion they'd been through the last 2 hours.
'Go to bed' Sophie smiled holding out her hands for the blonde to take as she helped her stand.
'You need your rest, now go' she winked pulling the blonde into a final embrace before quickly releasing her she stood back as she pushed her hands into her back pocket's ducking her head and looking at the ground self consciously.
'What about you' Sian asked concern evident in her voice, as she ducked her head trying to catch the brunette's eye.
Sophie smiled shyly as she shrugged 'not much of a sleeper' she replied 'but I suddenly feel so tired'
Sian nodded as she took the brunette's hand and guided them both into the brunette's room as she closed the door behind them.
Sophie looked on in shock as she watched Sian climb onto her bed and pat the mattress beside her.
'Come on' the blonde said 'let's get some sleep, we'll feel better after a bit of sleep'
Sophie smiled as she kicked off her shoes and climbed onto the bed, lying next to each other they fell into a restful sleep, a sleep that had evaded Sophie for 3 years.