Criminally Vulgar

Chapter 6-

A week passed, and so far all four boys had managed to stay alive in the face of Camp New Grace. Having adjusted to the daily routine, they joined the rest of their group for their regular discussion time. Counselor John stood before them to speak.

"It's come to my attention that, despite being here for an ample amount of time, a few of our newer campers have yet to admit that they are bi-curious." Finch and Alex flushed, their faces stony and nervous, respectively. "Now, understand that this is something every camper has to go through, and is the first step to recovery. You simply need to address the problem. Otherwise you'll never get any use out of the help we're offering. In order to take some pressure off, I'm going to ask everyone to admit that they're bi-curious, and make our way around the group, okay? Michael, since you're our veteran of sorts, would you start for us?"

The boy addressed stood up from his seat on the front left side of the group. He turned to face them. "I'm Michael, and I'm bi-curious," he said steadily, if not defiantly. He promptly turned back around and plopped back down into his seat. There was some weak, sporadic applause. John smiled at the group.

"See how easy it can be? Todd, you're next."

As the front rows were coming out, Bradley noticed Kyle, Alex, and Finch growing increasingly nervous. Finch was nervous- visibly. The surprise almost made Bradley's head reel. He snapped out of his disbelief as his own name was called. He stood without falter, having been through this enough times.

"I'm Bradley, and I'm bi-curious," he said, hand hovering near his mouth. He slumped back into his seat, and watched as Kyle stood hesitantly.

"I'm Kyle," he said softly, "And I…" A flush crept up his neck, maybe from faces of certain people that popped up in his mind, Bradley speculated. "I'm bi-curious." He finished with a shrug in his voice, as if finally letting down a façade and letting himself hear the truth from his own lips. He was rewarded with more clapping littered throughout the group.

"Good job, Kyle," John said warmly. As he sat back down, Kyle caught Bradley's part-congratulatory, part-supportive smile. He smiled back. Then they both looked at Alex, who seemed ready to either cry, faint, or puke.

"Come on and stand up, Alex," said John. Bradley and Kyle whispered encouragements and ushered him onto his feet. He looked fleetingly at Finch, who gave no sign of seeing anything but the back of the chair in front of him. Alex sighed loudly.

"I-I'm Alex, and…" The look of tortured nausea doubled. "I-I…" He broke off, chewing his lip and gripping his elbow. A few more pleas were said, some from John and some from other campers. Finally, Alex gulped down his nausea, instead opting to sport bright red cheeks. "I'm… bi-curious," he muttered. Another round of applause chased Alex hastily back into his seat, where Bradley and Kyle offered words of comfort. He kept sneaking glances at Finch, though, who still stared into the back of the chair. He stared for a long time as quiet fell over the group.

"Nathan… we're waiting," said John. Finch still stared.

"Come on, dude," Alex whispered to him, his voice gentler than Finch had ever heard it before. This coming out thing had a way of humbling people. "Just… say it." Finch mulled his words over, and finally stood, somber and dignified, looking John in the eye.

"I'm Finch," he said strongly, clearly, "And I am bi-curious." He returned to his seat with poise, letting his chin rest in laced fingers contemplatively. No one knew how to react to his implicit challenge to the counselor. He was calm and collected, and completely unlike how any other camper New Grace had ever turned out. It boggled Bradley's mind. He could only imagine such tough skin, such rouge audacity, such august power of will stemming from some sort of traumatic childhood struggle, in which one had to grow up far too much, to far too fast. It sobered Bradley's former disregard of his accountabilibuddy. What else lay beyond this mask of his, Bradley wondered?

During their free time after lunch, the four boys gathered in Bradley and Finch's dorm to hang out. Bradley sat on his bunk, joined by Kyle. Alex had pulled up a chair and was sitting in it backwards. Finch again opted to ignore the others, lying down in his bed, and was almost completely hidden by the elevation.

"They make us do that every now and again in groups, just say it instead of singing like we do in Chapel," Bradley was saying. "They say it does us good to admit it."

"It did, I guess," Kyle said. "But I was kind of afraid they would yell at me and tell me that it was a sin, or something." Alex swung his feet idly, listening. Bradley rubbed the heels of his palms into his eyes.

"Augh, I hate it when they do that…!" Kyle shot him a confused glance.

"Dude, I thought you felt the most guilty about being bi-curious of all of us."

"Well, I do, but… That's because I'm Christian and Christianity condemns homosexuality. Part of me wants to agree with all the counselors, but I don't find homosexuality disgusting… Does that make sense?" He looked up at the other two boys, searching for understanding. "I don't feel that it's wrong, but I feel wrong that I don't feel it's wrong." Kyle nodded slowly.

"Yeah… yeah, I get what you're saying."

Alex brought a finger to his chin thoughtfully. "I think I got it…." He said uncertainly. Then he seemed to get his bearings and looked at Bradley more confidently. "I don't think it's disgusting, either, and that was tripping me up for the longest time. And I don't think I was ready to write myself off as fully gay, either."

"So you're bi," Bradley asked. Alex thought it over for a bit.

"Yeah," he said softly. They heard Finch roll around on his bed.

"So am I," Kyle said. "I mean, I still like girls sometimes, but I guess I just like guys better…? I dunno," He dropped his now burning face into his hands.

"There's this one guy you like more than you've ever liked any girl, huh?" Bradley said, almost knowingly. Kyle nodded, face still hidden.

"The whole situation is so fucked, though… He's my super best friend."

"Ouch… And you're not sure how he'd take knowing his best friend has a crush on him." Kyle nodded again.

"I mean… he says he's cool about people being gay and all, but… It's never been anyone this close to him. What if he finds out? What if he freaks and doesn't want to be friends anymore? I really don't want to lose him as a friend, even if that's all we'll ever be…"

Alex kicked the toe of his sneaker into the floor. "Yeah… I have this friend…" His voice dropped dramatically, and he shot several nervous glances up at the top bunk. "And, like, we're friends, but… He's so straight…"

Finch's head appeared over the side of the bed frame. "Mr. Kitty?" Alex turned beet red.

"Yeah! Yeah, it is!" he flustered. "Okay, now you tell me- who're you curious for?" Finch fell silent again and retreated to his bed. "Tell me!" More silence.

"Dude, that's not fair. We've all been spilling our guts; it's your turn," Kyle said.

"Bet it's Devil Lad," said Alex.

"You're so sure," Finch deadpanned.

"Who else would it be?"

Another silence.

"It is."

"It is?"

"It's Devil Lad. Happy now?" This time, it was Alex who was quiet.

"It was kind of obvious."

"Oh, dear Lord," Finch groaned. "If it was obvious to you, the whole fucking town must have known!"

"Maybe I just pay attention."

"Maybe you don't."

"Maybe I know what to look for since I'm bi, too?"

"… I'm not bi."

"No?" all three boys said in unison.

"I'm just gay. I just like guys."

Bradley decided now was as good a time to try to redeem their relationship as ever. "I think… I think I do, too. Just like guys, I mean. I've never really liked any girls. I'm just not attracted to them."

"They're not so great." Well, at least he didn't contradict him. That was a start, right?

"Hey, you still have to tell us about your crush," Kyle told Bradley energetically. Bradley brought his hand to his mouth and looked away shyly.

"I… It sounds kinda stupid…" But he was pressed on by Alex and Kyle. "I only knew him for, like, a day or so, before he left the camp."

"It was here?" Kyle asked. Bradley nodded. "Ooh… not the best place for that to happen."

"He was even my accountabilibuddy." He received sympathetic "oh"s and a "Man, that sucks" from Kyle and Alex. "He wasn't for being cured at all, though. Actually, his dad took him out because he was so defiant. He even gave a speech to the counselors about how if we're made in God's image and we're bi-curious, then God must be bi-curious, too." Kyle stared at him.

"What was his name?"

"Butters." The name still sounded beyond heavenly to Bradley. Kyle's eyes widened, however.

"Dude, I know that kid!"

"You do?" Bradley's own eyes grew wide.

"Yeah! We live in the same town! We go to school together!"

"Oh my God!" Bradley squeaked, pressing both hands to his mouth. "I-I thought that'd be the last I'd ever hear about him!"

"You want me to give you his address so you can write him?"

"I'd love you forever! --I mean, not like that but-- Oh my God!" Bradley's brain seemed to have shut down. Kyle only laughed and went to grab some paper and a pen. Fingers still stuffed in his mouth, Bradley's heart bubbled with more hope and happiness than it had ever done since Butters left.

Butters…

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