A/N: Double Updates! Also this is a bumper chapter. Whoo Hoo! I'll try to get more up tomorrow too.

He spoke first. She was still in too much shock to even breathe. "We need to talk."

"You need to leave," she managed to eek out through gritted teeth.

She tried to slam the door in his face but Chris put his foot in the door to stop her. She stepped backwards and he pushed his way in. "Lorelai, I'm not here to hurt you."

"You already did that."

"Lor-"

"Get out!" she cried at him as she backed away from the door and into the living room.

"Lor, we need to talk."

"No, we really don't." Her legs hit the couch and she fell back onto it as Chris loomed ever closer. Her hand grabbed for the phone but he reached down and pulled it out of her grasp then tossed it behind him against the wall. Her heart stopped at the sound of it shattering into pieces.

"Will you just listen to me!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her up to face him. "I need to talk to you." Lorelai remained still, her breath caught in her throat and she waited for him to continue. "What happened the other night…" he looked away from her for a second then turned back. "It was intense."

"Intense…"

"We got a bit carried away."

"We?"

"Lorelai, I love you." He waited for her to respond but she said nothing. "I need you to believe me. We can work this out." he gripped her other arm and pulled her into his embrace but she remained stiff and unyielding. After a moment Chris leaned back and held her at arm's length. "Lor?"

"Let me go."

For a moment he didn't move, his grip on her tightened and he looked down at her lips. for one horrifying moment Lorelai thought he was going to kiss her but instead he released her and stepped back. He rubbed his chin and jaw and gripped his hip.

"Get away from me, get out of my house and never come back." Lorelai stood as she spoke, her voice finding strength from somewhere she couldn't tell where.

"Lor…I love you."

"You raped me."

"I-"

"Get out." She pointed at the door and walked towards him and he stumbled back against the vehemence in her voice until finally he was out of the door. Chris was still standing on the porch when she slammed the door closed and turned off the porch light. Lorelai leaned against the wall behind her and slid to the ground, her mouth open in a silent scream as the bravado swept out of her body only to be replaced by sheer terror. Her head was cradled in her hands and when the cold started to make her shiver Lorelai got up and made her way into the living room. She picked up the pieces of the phone and slipped them back into place then dialed the one number she knew she needed.

After a grueling day in the diner Luke was ready to collapse into bed. His body ached with tension and his grumpiness has found a new level of seething. He thought she might come into the diner at some stage but as the evening rush calmed down and his final few customers left, he realised his hope was futile. He turned the open sign to closed and went about his usual routine to clean up. He was all but done when the phone rang. His heart jolted against his ribs as the thought it might be her but he shoved the hope back in its place and crossed the room to answer it.

"Luke's, we're closed."

"Luke."

"Lorelai?" It sounded like Lorelai but her voice was trembling with emotion.

"Luke…can you…"

"I'll be right there."

Luke slammed down the phone and grabbed his coat then hurried out the back door to his truck to get to her as fast as he could.

He knocked on her door and tried the handle to see if it was open. Her voice called out to him. "In here." He found her huddled against the fire, shivering despite her proximity to the heat.

"Lorelai? what happened?" At the sight of him approaching Lorelai felt herself fall apart again and she melted into his arms, new tears, new sobs but the same raw emotion. He held her against him, kneeling beside her and brushed her hair away from her face. "Shhhh," he whispered into her hair and urged her to settle against him. finally when her breathing relaxed she leaned away from him and rubbed her face.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "This is awful, what I'm doing to you. I don't want to be that girl."

"What is going on?" he asked, not for the first time in the last few days but this time the emotion diluted his voice and Lorelai realised the pain he was feeling.

"I need to tell you something." she whispered into her own hands and her knees came closer to her chest in a protective motion. "But I need you to not go crazy."

"Crazy?" He shook his head. "Please Lorelai, just tell me."

"Promise me Luke."

"Promise you what?"

"Promise me you won't go crazy…" She looked up at him as her hands dropped from her face and wrapped around her legs.

"Lorelai…" Luke looked away. He felt his frustration getting the better of him and realized he was already halfway to being crazy. "I promise I'll…try not to go crazy." he finally said and Lorelai couldn't help the half smile that curved her lips.

Her breath was shaking as she tried to wrap her head around the words she needed to tell him what had happened. Memories spun and danced around her head and the words evaded her. She tried to focus on one thought, one memory but nothing would hold still enough for her. She inhaled a deep shaky breath but when she exhaled it was with a sob. Luke's resolve melted and he pulled her into his embrace again. "Sorry, you can tell me when you are ready. Tell me when you can." He uttered into her hair but she took a deep breath, pushed him away and rubbed her face vigorously with both hands.

"No, now, I'll tell you now." Luke remained silent and watched her. "Last week, Thursday before last I was home after a pretty rough day at work. I was talking a bath when…um…Chris came home." She glanced up at him as she uttered his name and saw the raw pain flitter across Luke's face. "Seemingly he had a pretty rough day too, he had bruising on his face and knuckles." Luke looked away for a moment in the hope that she wouldn't see the look of satisfaction that was in his eyes. "Anyway, we started…to um…well, you know." Luke nodded, still not meeting her eyes. "But he got rough. Really rough." His breath caught in his throat and Luke frowned. He thought he knew where this conversation was leading but until her words came out of her mouth, he wasn't sure he could believe it. His hands balled up into tight fists on his lap as he waited for her to continue. "I tried to get him to stop, I tried to get away but…he was too strong." Her voice was surprisingly steady, her emotions spent as she tried to detach herself from the words that were streaming out of her mouth. "I couldn't get away…I had to wait until he was finished."

"Jesus…" Luke couldn't help the curse that oozed past his lips. He felt pure anger curl around in the pit of his stomach and he couldn't stand it any longer. He pushed himself up onto his feet and started to pace in the confines of the living room.

"I locked myself into the bathroom. I showered and waited until I was ready to face him again. When I came out and dressed he was gone." She watched him pace and somehow his anger gave her the strength to continue. "I was terrified he would come back, so I jumped in the car and took off."

"That's when you went to New York?"

"That's when I ended up in New York," she corrected.

"Why didn't you come to…"

"You?"

"Yeah. Me."

"Luke," she began but he waved his hand at her and started to pace again.

"Stupid question."

"I just needed to get away. To no one." Lorelai bowed her head and rested it on her crossed arms over the top of her knees. She stared at the flickering flames for a moment and Luke wasn't sure if she was going to continue talking or not. "When I came back Sookie told me he left keys at the Inn. He went to my parents house but god knows what he told them had happened. They called Rory and told her he left me."

"Lorelai…" Luke said and he stopped pacing but she wasn't finished.

He watched as she blinked past heavy tears and turned her head to rest her forehead on her arms to hide them. "He came by tonight."

"What?" Luke all but shouted out and looked around the room absurdly expecting Chris to be standing there.

"He came by, he said we needed to talk, to work things out. He said he still loved me and said we just got carried away." A mirthless laugh came out of her lips and Luke hurried over to kneel beside her again. "I somehow managed to get him out…I don't know how, that's when I called you tonight."

"Lorelai, I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything."

"Did you-"

"No, no police, no hospitals." she said and she shook her head vigorously. "I just want to move past this." Luke nodded his head slowly. "For the first week when I came back from New York I stayed at the Inn."

"You did?"

"I couldn't bear to be in the house."

"And now?"

"I got Tom in. He repainted."

"The color swatches," Luke said softly, remembering their encounter outside the market.

"Yeah. I donated my whole bedroom set to charity and I got a new bed, new dresser, new lockers." she smiled as if she knew it was absurd then shook her head. "I wanted nothing he had been in. Nothing he had touched. Then Sookie took me shopping and we bought new bed clothes…well, new everything," she added with a soft laugh.

"But you still couldn't sleep."

"I still couldn't sleep."

"Why not?"

"I was afraid."

"Of what?" he asked, needing her to continue.

"The memory. That he would come back." Her voice broke at the last word and he reached out to rest a hand on her shoulder. When she flinched under his touch he quickly withdrew it. "Sorry," she said and she looked up at his pained expression. She reached over to take his hands and clasped it in both of hers. "But I wasn't afraid with you. I wasn't afraid in your arms." She glanced up at him and Luke smiled. He reached out with his free hand and pulled her against him, her shoulder against his chest and her head fell against his shoulder. "Will you stay with me again?"

Luke knew there was no way he was going to be able to refuse her. He nodded his head and rested it against the top of hers. they stayed like that until the fire died down enough and stopped offering them any warmth. "C'mon, let's go up," he said and he squeezed her against him one more time before he moved.

Luke urged her to her feet and guided her to the stairs then urged her up while he closed up the house and covered the cooling embers of the fire. Something about the mundane task made his heart ache with a sharp pain. It didn't seem that long ago he was doing this to then join his fiancé in bed. But now he was doing it to join Lorelai. He shook his head with a soft laugh as he slowly climbed the stairs. Just Lorelai. His friend? Not really over the last few months. They had barely spoken. Certainly not his fiancé, not even his girlfriend. His Ex, he realised was the best way to explain it but it was a total juxtaposition to the very fact that he was about to walk into her room and climb into her bed. He found her in the bathroom again and he immediately went over to the window seat to begin undressing. His uneasiness from the night before at the thought of climbing into Chris's bed wasn't there when he realised this was a new bed, one he had never been in, but a new kind of uneasiness was settling in the pit of his stomach. Pure raw rage at the thought of what he had done to her mixed with the fear that she would never get over it.

He was deep in his own thoughts, making plans on how to fix this, fix her, when the bathroom door opened and Lorelai saw him sitting by the window again. She noticed how he was lost in thought as he sat there in his boxers and tee, fingering the buttons of his flannel shirt. "Hey, bathroom is all yours." she said and she went over to sit by the end of the bed. Luke looked up and nodded then went into the bathroom to begin his new absurd nightly routine. When he came out Lorelai was about to climb into bed and he flicked off the light then crossed the darkened room. He climbed in beside her and fixed the duvet over himself then turned his head to face her. She was on her side, this time facing him with both hands under her cheek.

"You ok?" he whispered into the darkness.

"I will be."

"What can I do?

"Hold me."

He lifted his arm and urged her closer then held her against him. She rested one hand on his chest and the other wrapped around her own abdomen to clasp his hand that rested there. His other hand covered the one she rested on his chest and he held it tightly over his heart, hoping against hope she couldn't not feel the trembling of his heart as he tried to control his anger.

"Luke?"

"Hmm?"

"Thank you."

"Anytime Lorelai." he turned his head into her hair and without caring if she felt it or not, he pressed a soft kiss onto the top of her head. Lorelai felt it and she melted into him at the sensation of it. She let her heavy eyes, tired and sore from all the spent emotion close over and relaxed into his heat. Luke's grip on her tightened and he held her as close as he could, for as long as he could. It was a long, sleepless night.

He didn't even dare close his eyes because he knew what he would see when he did. And he knew that if he even thought about it for a moment he was liable to explode. So he kept them open. He concentrated on keeping her body against his, keeping her soft and pliant, relaxed and warm for as long as she needed it. Her breathing was slow and deep and she curled against him, one leg lifted up to rest across his thighs and he sighed at the familiar sensation. Lorelai slept the whole night long, waking only once and only long enough to brush a soft kiss into his chest before releasing him and rolling away, but reached behind for him to follow and fell back into a deep sleep as soon as he enveloped her. When she finally woke Lorelai sighed at the sensation of his arms curling around her and pulled them even tighter.

"Morning." he whispered.

"Morning."

"You slept well."

"Yeah, I did."

He pushed away from her and gave her space and she rolled onto her back next to him. He propped his head up on one hand and looked down at her. Every sinew in his body told him to lean down and kiss her but something was holding him back. "I should be going," he said eventually, his words a polar opposite to what he actually wanted to do.

"Ok."

He waited a moment more, basked in the delicious torture of being this close to her again then rolled away and climbed out of bed. This time his dressing was not as quick, but just as quiet. She watched him carefully, wanting to ask him to stay but not really knowing what it meant, so instead she just let him dress. He sat on the window seat and put on his boots then looked up. She was still watching him and something in her eyes stopped him from leaving.

"You ok?" He asked and he crossed the room to sit on the side of the bed next to her. She nodded her head and offered him a half smile. "What is it?"

"You." she said simply.

Luke frowned. "Me?"

Lorelai nodded. She lifted a hand up to cup his face and he nuzzled his cheek into her palm. She sat up and looped her arms around his neck in a loose hug and he sank into it, circling her waist with his arms. They sat like that for a few minutes then she pulled back, without releasing him completely, leaned in to press a soft kiss to his temple before falling back into her bed.

Luke looked down at her for a moment then got up and walked to the door. "You'll be in later?" She nodded and he smiled then lifted his hand in a half wave before he left.

Lorelai stood outside the diner just after lunch and looked in at the thinning crowd. Kirk was at the counter, Taylor and Gypsy were at the table behind the door and Tom sat in the back with his newspaper. She steeled herself against the butterflies in her stomach and pushed the door open, loving the familiarity of the bells as she walked in. Luke was behind the counter, working on the till and he came round to greet her and lead her to an empty table.

"Hey," he said and seemed utterly pleased that she was there. Lorelai basked in his attention and smiled warmly up at him. "Coffee?" Lorelai nodded enthusiastically and watched as he went to grab a mug and the coffee pot. He poured it out for her then placed the pot on the table and reached down for the note pad that was tucked into the front of his jeans. "What'll you be having?"

"A burger?"

"Fries?" She nodded and he jotted it down then handed the order into Cesar to get cooking as he moved around the room refilling coffee. Tom finished his lunch and went to pay then waved at Lorelai as he left the room. She looked over at Taylor and Gypsy who were arguing about some power generators she guessed would be needed for the winter ball. Kirk was writing stuff into a notebook, uncharacteristically quiet but she enjoyed the reprieve from his madness and simply looked out the window at the town going by. Soon Luke arrived with her food and left her alone to eat it. He refilled her coffee once but ultimately left her alone. When she was done, he collected her plate and refilled her coffee again then returned to his receipts and collected the bill from both Taylor and Gypsy and finally kirk. When no one was left, Lorelai went up to pay her own bill, a nervous smile on her lips as she approached the counter.

"Was everything ok?" he asked as he rang her up.

"Delicious, as always." Luke smiled and she was sure she caught his chest puffing out ever so slightly with pride. She handed him over a few bills and he gave her back her change and she turned on her heel to leave. "Um, Luke?" she asked as she pulled the door open and looked over her shoulder at him. He looked up from his work on the till and lifted his eyebrows in anticipation of her question. "Will I see you tonight?"

The meaning of her question confused him for a moment and he frowned, but at the dawning of what she meant he slowly nodded his head and smiled. She returned his smile with one of her own, though hers was more drenched in relief, then waved goodbye and left. Luke watched her until she was out of sight and wondered how he had gotten himself into this mess.

Nightly visits to Lorelai's bed was something he had been thinking about since, well forever he admitted. But this wasn't quite what he had expected. This wasn't the tone he expected to be surrounded by when he would go to her bed. Luke shook his head to get out of his thoughts and focused back on the receipts he was counting. He looked at the clock and wondered, how early was too early to turn up.

When the diner closed Luke went up to his apartment and showered. His body ached from tiredness but nothing was going to get in his way of turning up to her house. Against the protesting muscles he dressed and ambled down the stairs. His stomach was gurgling with anticipation as he slipped on his jacket then at the last minute, went into the diner and bagged a couple of donuts before going out the back to his truck.

At her house he saw her jeep parked in the garden and knew she was back from work already. He climbed the porch and knocked gently on the door, shifting his weight from one foot to the other as he waited. Lorelai pulled the door open and waved him in. She was on the phone so he walked past her and into the kitchen to start making the coffee he knew she would be craving. He tried not to listen to her conversation but it was hard not to when her voice was loud and sharp.

"I don't care what he told you, I don't care what you think. It's over." For one blood boiling moment Luke thought she was talking to Chris and he wanted to rip the phone out of her hand and tell him what he thought of him. "Mom, why don't you ask Chris exactly why I kicked him out of my house the other night. Why don't you ask him why he moved back to Boston. Then if you still feel like defending him…well, if you do, then don't call me."

Luke heard her put the phone back into its cradle and the soft squeak of the phone table as she leaned against it. He imagined her leaning with her head hung low, her chin on her chest, her eyes closed and he couldn't help to peer around the archway to see. Sure enough, it was just like he had thought and without hesitation he stopped what he was doing and took a few long strides to stand before her. His hands gripped her shoulders and he pulled her against him. She held back the tears and took a few shaky breaths then rested her hands flat against his chest and pushed him back.

"I'm ok." she said eventually though her voice told him otherwise.

"I made you coffee," he said simply, offering her comfort in the only way he knew how. When she smiled he looked away. "And I brought you a couple of donuts." Her smile widened and he turned towards the kitchen to get the promised goods. She followed close behind and all but snatched the Luke's bag out of his hand.

"Oh! Sprinkles!" she took the donut out and bit into it then smiled up at him with a mouth full. The icing and sprinkles covered her upper lip and without thinking he reached up and wiped it with the pad of his thumb. Lorelai's smile faltered and Luke pulled his hand away.

"Your coffee," he said as he handed her a cup then quickly made some tea for himself and focused on the hot liquid in his hands.

"How was the diner today?" She sat at the table and bit into her donut again.

"The usual craziness, amplified somewhat by Taylor and this winter ball." He leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossing his legs at his ankles.

"Yeah?"

"I think Gypsy might beat me to it and strangle him before the week is out."

Lorelai laughed and he loved the simple sound of it. "I heard them arguing about power strips earlier."

"Power strips, then the band, tent placement, then Ms Patty came in and started a new round of arguments about tent placements."

"Wow, busy day then."

"Well no, they took up 4 tables and only ordered a few coffees," he said with a frown and a dismissive shake of his head. Hs sipped his tea as she finished the first donut. "How about you, how was the Inn?"

"It's always quiet this time of year. People tend to stay with family at christmas time." Her voice faded away and the somewhat light tone they shared diminished. Lorelai focused on her coffee as her finger ran over the powdered top of the other donut. She lifted the finger to her lips and licked the confectionary off then glanced up at him.

"Have you thought about…talking to someone?" Luke said softly, half afraid she would hear him.

"I don't need that. I don't want it."

"Lorelai-"

"Luke, please." she rubbed the donut again with her finger. "If I talk about it, it makes it real."

"It was real."

"If I talk about it, then it actually happened."

"It did happen."

"Maybe I was-"

"Don't you dare." Luke put his cup down and crossed the room and pulled a chair out to sit next to her. He pushed her coffee and the donut aside and grabs both of her hands to pull her to face him, though she hung her head low and refused to look up at him. "Don't even for one second think that you caused this. That you lured him into some kind of frenzy." He tugged her hand to make her look up but she still refused so he curled one finger below her chin and forced her to face him. "This is not your fault Lorelai, this was all his doing."

"But I was there, I was naked, we were having sex Luke!" she shouted, half at herself, vocalizing the blame she had been feeling, and half at him, wanting him to know what she had done to deserve this.

"Did you tell him to stop?" he said evenly. she stared at him, confused by his words, his calm cool voice. "Lorelai, did you tell him to stop?" She nodded her head, causing a single tear from each eye to trail over her cheeks and drop off her jaw. "Then that's the end of it." He spoke matter of factly. His calm voice was betrayed only by the tight grip he held on her hands. "I know you don't want to go to the police."

"Luke, no."

"I know you don't want to," he pressed on, ignoring her protest. "But you should get a restraining order against him."

"No, he would never-"

"He already did, Lorelai." For a split second the fire in his eyes was plain to see and she leaned away from it, from him, from the intensity of it all. "You need to find peace, to move on, and maybe that can help you."

Lorelai didn't have anything to say to that. She knew he was right, she knew she couldn't expect Luke to lie next to her in her bed forever, but she wasn't ready just yet to give him up. That thought startled her and she shook her head to try make room for some clarity.

"Lorelai?" He watched her carefully, the thoughts that were swirling around her head, darkening her eyes and pushing out fresh tears.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I will. I'll get the restraining order."

Luke squeezed her hands and sat back into his own seat. both of them were breathing unevenly, trying to take what solace they could from each other's presence and when she slipped her hands out of his and rubbed her cheeks dry she looked up at him and noticed for the first time how tired he looked.

"We should go up." She moved her head towards the stairs and he nodded slowly. "You go up first, I'll just clear this up and be right behind you."

"Actually I wanted to maybe...um," he looked behind her at the door then back at her. "I thought I would fix your locks."

"Fix them?"

"Well change them."

"Change them?"

"I just… would feel much better. Do you mind?" Lorelai stared at him, the worry etched around his eyes, and all over his face. Slowly she shook her head and he got up to go out to his truck. She cleared up the living room and kitchen as he worked on the front door, quickly switching out the lock then doing the same on the back door. When he was finished he returned his toolbox to his truck then came back with four keys on a metal ring.

"Here, two for each door, and I thought you might need a copy for Rory too." She took the keys he held out and looked down at them in her hand then back up at him. "You ok?" She nodded, too afraid to speak lest her voice draw her tears out. "You ready to go up?"

"Go, I'll be right up." She said and she turned away to put the keys into her bag.

Reluctantly Luke went up and again found himself undressing in Lorelai's bedroom. He splashed water on his face and rinsed his mouth out with mouthwash then climbed into her bed, feeling a strange sensation of being there without her. He heard her move around downstairs then make her way up to her room. He found himself wondering where to put his hands. He had them flat by his side, then connected on his stomach, he moved one behind his head then the other then rested them on his chest. When she walked in he had one on his chest and the other rubbed his face.

Lorelai smiled shyly at him then went to her dresser to grab her things before slipping into the bathroom. She went through her usual routine and dressed in a clean pair of checkered black and red pajama shorts and a black tank top then steeled herself with a steadying breath and went out to her room. He had his face buried in the crook of one elbow and his other hand was resting on his chest. She crossed to the bed and slowly climbed in and lay on her back next to him.

"Tired?" she asked, her voice but a whisper.

"Hmmm," he hummed and dropped his arm to his side and rolled his head to look at her with a small smile.

"C'm'ere," she said and she lifted one arm high in an invitation. He looked up at her face for a moment then rolled onto his side towards her and rested his head on the front of her shoulder. "Closer…" she urged, her hand came down his back and pressed him to roll ever closer. He tried to keep some distance between them but her hands were insistent and her voice enticing so he acquiesced to her desire and pressed against her as tight as he could. His head rested on her chest, just against the soft curve of the top of her breast. One arm was draped across her stomach and curled around her and she held it in place with a tight grip, the other was under the pillow, pinned by her head. He had one leg curled over her thighs the other down against hers. She held onto him, one hand on his back rubbing soft circles between his shoulders, and she pressed her cheek against the top of his head. "Go to sleep," she whispered.

"I thought I was here to hold you," he said after moment of silence.

"Maybe we can just hold each other," she replied and tightened her grip on him.

Luke's sleep was deep. The ache in his muscles faded and when he finally woke his whole body felt heavy and languid. He slowly came to his senses and realized they had barely moved throughout the night. The light in her room told him it was morning and later than his usual wake up time, but he dampened down his panic by remembering he had asked Cesar to open the diner. He opened his eyes more fully and found he had settled himself over her more than when he had fallen asleep. His head was in the centre of her chest, nestled between her breasts and his eyes in line with her taut nipple, protruding from the light material of her tank top. His hand had snaked under her top and was curled around her side on her hot skin, his thumb dangerously close to the underside of her breast. One of his legs had dropped between both of hers and as his mind clocked all the pressure points of his body he realised his fully erect cock was pressing into her hip. He tried to keep his breathing even and willed his erection to fade before she woke up but her body was warm, soft, pliant and curled towards him.

As she started to wake Lorelai felt a stretch curling her toes, stretching her legs, rolling her hips and arching her back until it found its release with a contented sigh. "Morning," she said softly. Luke went to move off her but she rolled her hips and arms towards him and hugged him tightly. He was stiff and unresponsive and she began to wonder if he was awake at all. She lifted her head to see his face and saw his eyes wide open. "Sleep ok?" He nodded but immediately regretted that decision as her breasts moved against his cheek. She rubbed his back with her hand and closed her eyes over to bask in his embrace. She knew these moments were soon going to be over and what comfort he was offering her was fleeting so she wanted to revel in it for as long as she could.

Luke lay unmoving next to her. He wanted to roll away from her, hide his condition from her but he knew if he rolled away he would need to get out of bed. He looked at the window and realized he would have to walk around the bed to get dressed and there was no way he could hide it from her then. So he held on. Held onto the one thing that he knew was causing his condition. Her body. Her. Lorelai let her mind wander as she rested her cheek against the top of his head and wondered briefly why he wasn't getting up like he did the other mornings. She loved the feel of his head, heavy on her breasts, his warm breath through her top and his chest rising and falling against her side. On her other side his fingers were splayed out on her back and his thumb rubbed her softly over the ripple of her ribs, just under her breasts. His leg, nestled between hers, was a startling sensation, and she wondered briefly if his thigh could feel the heat emanating from her core and it was only then she realised why he wasn't moving. She glanced down at his head but his eyes had closed over and she felt his jaw clench against her and she realised he was embarrassed.

The feeling of his cock against her hip was incredibly erotic and in the past, when they shared mornings like this, she would ease his tension in a myriad of ways but those days were gone. Now, although she was holding him in her bed, the emotions that swirled around them were not contentment or shared love. They were tight, sharp raw emotions. Her fear, her self blame, her doubt, clouded only by his anger and feeling of futility. She wanted to ease his pain, but no longer knew how.

"I'm going to go grab a shower." she said and she loathed the moment he started to roll away from her. So much that she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. "Wait." He lifted his head and looked up to her questioningly. "Don't move, not yet."

"I thought you were going to shower?"

"Not yet." She looped her arms around the top of his shoulders and snuggled lower to hug him against her. Luke took the opportunity to move his hips away from her but it was no use, she followed. He gripped her hip and held her still as her wiggling body tried to find that one spot of comfort. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and Luke sighed at the sensation of her warm breath against him and he stopped fighting it. There was no way she didn't already feel his erection so he stopped trying to hide it and instead just held onto her. One of his arms curled around her lower back and the other across her shoulders and he sighed as he melted into her embrace. For a few moments neither of them moved, then he felt what he thought was a kiss against his neck. Luke's eyes shot open and he held his breath until he felt it again. And when he did his arms tightened around her.

"Lorelai." he spoke softly into the cool morning air and when he felt her tongue appear to lick the spot she had kissed he groaned and inadvertently rolled his hips towards her. She sighed against his neck and he got bolder. His hand moved down her back over the curve of her ass and pressed her against his erection eliciting a soft moan out of her. Luke moved his head to kiss her neck, her jaw, her lobe, her cheek and finally her lips. She sighed into his kiss and parted her lips to welcome his tongue into the warm wetness of her mouth.

Her hands moved against his back, pulling at the material of his tee to yank it off him and he released her only long enough to toss it aside then immediately found her again and pulled her top off her. He pressed her naked chest against his and moaned when she arched into him. She caught her moan with her open mouth and caressed his tongue with her own. His hand moved down to her as and slipped under the band of her shorts and she instinctively moved her leg over his hip. They both groaned at the familiar sensation of their genitals lining up, despite the material barriers between them. She pulled down one side of his boxers as she rolled her hips towards him, her lips clashing with his in hurry urgent kisses.

"Lorelai, wait…" He tried to pull away from her but she was not giving him an inch.

"I want you," she said, breathless words murmured against his lips as her tongue appeared to caress his again. He moved her hips back to make room for her hand and slipped it in below his boxers to grab him tightly. Luke couldn't help his body's reaction, as his hips thrust into her hand and his moan pushed past his lips.

"Are you sure?" he asked, even as his hands pulled at her shorts.

"Yes Luke, I'm sure…" she moved back off him and pulled her shorts off then kicked them aside and rolled back to him. He lay unmoving, his boxers askew on his legs but she didn't hesitate and pulled them down far enough for him to kick them aside. "Now, I want you now." She rolled him onto his back and straddled his hips. She stroked his cock in sure tight strokes as she lifted herself up and poised him at her entrance, but before he could grab her hips and hold her in place she plunged down onto him and he lost his train of thought. She didn't wait for his compliance before lifting up and plunging back down onto him in a frantic speed. She sat up straighter, tossed her head back and let her moans float straight up to the ceiling.

"Lorelai," he gasped as he tried to get her to slow down but her movements were erratic and greedy. "Lorelai!" he said again, this time more sternly and when she still didn't respond he sat up, wrapped his arms around her and rolled over to switch their positions. He pinned her down with his full weight and watched as she rolled her head towards him and opened her eyes. He held her gaze for a moment without moving then slowly pulled out of her and just as slowly slid back in, all the while keeping his eyes connected on hers. She urged him to speed up, whimpered softly, clawed at his back and rolled her hips against him but he was adamant this was going to go slowly. Incredibly slowly. Slow enough that if she changed her mind, needed him to stop he could do so in an instant. He lifted himself off her and balanced on one hand that was planted on the bed next to her head which the other gripped her hip in an effort to calm her fitful movements.

"Harder," she pleaded but he shook his head. "Faster, please!" she begged and though every cell in his being wanted to pound into her he held back. "Luke please, I need…"

"Shhh," he said through gritted teeth as he concentrated on hitting her in all the right angles but no matter what he did, how he moved or rolled his hips her expression remained pained. "Lorelai," he said and she opened her eyes. What he saw there was not the passion he expected instead it was pure frustration and, he thought with a tinge of regret, fear. He stopped moving and she whimpered against his ear, rolled her hips to entice him back.

"C'mon, harder."

"No." he moved away and she clawed at him to get him back.

"Luke," she rolled towards him but he was already sitting up on the edge of the bed and lifted his ass up high enough to pull on his boxers.

"No Lorelai." He stood up and walked over to his clothing and started to dress. "I won't do it."

"What?" she sat up and pulled the sheet around her body.

"I won't fuck you like some kind of ill conceived self punishment you think you deserve." he yanked up his jeans and carefully covered his still erect cock as he zipped up and bent to slip on his boots.

"Luke…"

He grabbed his shirt and pulled it on, buttoned it quickly and turned to look at her. He stood by the bed and leaned over her, close enough that she could feel his breath against her face. "I'll fuck you hard and fast if that's what you want from me, but not because you think you don't deserve better." He stared at her for a moment as his words sank in then stood and walked out of the room.