Disclaimer: Psh. Yeah right. I so do not own it.
A/N: Happy Birthday to me! :D (09-01(day-month))
Anyway, reasons for not updating: I was far too happy to write because I got Vol. 11 of Bleach on DVD and it has English subs with Japanese language. And in five more days, I'm going to get Vol. 12 :3
I got the Muse album 'Absolution' and I plan on getting the Finger 11 album as well :D
I was re-watching episodes of Ouran and laughing my ass off. So I enjoyed not writing.
I had no inspiration.
I got my report back and I got all A's!!! :D
I've been too busy fawning over other yaoi couples :D
Thanks to all the people that reviewed ('cuz Imma review whore) it encouraged me to write faster/better.
Kinda filler-ish. But enjoy!
Discovery
"It's all your fault beansprout," Kanda muttered as he surveyed the silent room.
The Great Hall was full of rows of students whom were all curiously, blankly staring at them.
"You and your stupid, hungry, gluttonous stomach. Can't you ever control it?" Kanda muttered.
"Nope." Allen grinned back.
Kanda glared at him, angrily.
"I think Komui wants to bitch to us." Lenalee commented.
Oooh. That's harsh. Allen thought.
And Komui was approaching them as they stood helplessly near the grand door.
"Did we do something wrong?" Allen asked.
Komui sighed. "No. Just go sit down and eat. And if anyone asks you what really happened, just tell them that you didn't destroy the Whomping Willow and that Lavi was caught at the 'scene of the crime'. Not necessarily meaning that we destroyed it. And that there's someone else out there."
"Okay..." Lenalee smiled at Komui.
"Ohohohoho. My cutie Lenalee pie just smiled." And Komui went into crazy fanboy (?) mode. "By the way, where's Lavi?"
"Lavi's sleeping in his drmitory. We didn't tell him we were going to eat because he seemed really tired." Allen replied profoundly.
"I see..." Komui looked around briefly. The students of Hogwarts no longer directed their attention to them, but instead, towards their ultra-mega-delicious food. "But you shouldn't have left him. People will think with their paranoid brains, and they'll ask questions."
"Just like Harry Potter and those dweebs," Kanda commented.
"Mmhmm." Allen agreed with a smile.
"Don't agree with me." Kanda said spitefully.
"I'm sure they think we're the enemy right now. But just ignore them if they annoy you. Have fun." Komui dismissed them and ambled back to his seat at the front.
"Have 'fun'." Lenalee waggled her eyebrows as she repeated the words to Kanda and Allen.
Kanda rolled his eyes and replied, "Your 'yaoi' fantasies will never happen."
"Whatever you say." Lenalee giggled as she developed an evil plot in her mind. "Let's go sit at my table."
They moved towards three conveniently empty seats at the Ravenclaw table. Lenalee sat facing Allen who 'conveniently' sat next to Kanda. Allen started to eat with a delighted expression at the numerous amounts of food on the many platters.
Kanda followed suit and Lenalee watched the two waiting for something to happen...
"Lavi" Tyki called over quietly.
"Yeah?"
"Come here." Tyki was perched on a ledge situated near a large window.
Lavi hovered on his hammer before carefully jumping onto the the ledge as well. He didn't fall and quickly put his hammer away once it returned back to its normal size.
"Your friends appear to be having fun. Without you." Tyki pointed to a small group of people – Allen, Kanda and Lenalee.
They were talking about something... and Allen appeared to have a large smile/evil grin on his face.
"I can see that." Lavi replied.
"I know you can." Tyki retorted.
"But what's the point of showing me this?" Lavi asked prominently.
"I think you already know." Tyki replied with a sadistic grin.
Lavi rolled his eyes. "Are we going to just stay here?"
"No." With that, Tyki grabbed Lavi and they descended into darkness.
" So, Kanda, why do you have a ponytail?" A blonde girl with radish hoop earrings asked in a dull, boring voice.
"Because I do."
"Interesting. I'm sure Dad would love to hear about the miracle exorcists and how one of them sports a ponytail. Once it's published, I bet it'll be the ultimate fashion. It'll be brilliant." The girl clasped her hands together at the thought of her 'brilliant' idea.
This person was so British.
Kanda rolled his eyes and looked at Allen. "She's worse than you."
The person sitting next to Lenalee abruptly asked, "Is it true that all exorcists have genital herpes?"
Allen coughed.
The exorcists remained silent.
"Ah... I see. I've heard that you also have small pox, worms, gonorrhea, typhus, measles, influenza, malaria, tuberculosis, hepatitis B, diabetes, meningitis, tetanus, pertussis, syphilis, varicella (chicken pox), leprosy, cholera, rubella, impetigo, HIV and that you carry the black plague." The girl was an uglier version of Lenalee.
"Then everyone we've met would be dead by now." Lenalee retorted hotly.
"I guess... But whatever. My name is Cho Chang. Nice to meet you." Cho said. "You two look like me but I'm prettier." Cho pointed to Lenalee and Kanda.
Allen chocked.
And then he doubled over from laughing.
And Kanda used his glare of absolute hate on Cho.
"Oh really? Well, you're so ugly it hurts." Lenalee bit back.
"Ohohohohohohoho." A girl with strawberry blonde hair laughed bitterly as she turned around to face them. "I am Marietta. Cho and I were voted prettiest girls in Ravenclaw last year and we are most definitely keeping that title this year. Therefore, we look much better than you ever will."
"Also," the blonde pointed at Kanda, "glaring just makes you look more like a male."
"Um... Kanda is a male." Allen deadpanned.
"Being precocious are we?" Maria asked haughtily.
The three exorcists stared at the very stupid witch.
Cho leaned towards Marietta and whispered, "Kanda is male. He just has long hair."
"Bwahahahahahahahaha." The blonde laughed like a fat man. "Long hair on a male. What are you? A monk?"
And Marietta kept on "Bwahahahaha"-ing.
"Uh... monks are bald." Allen deadpanned again.
"The smart ass strikes again!" Marietta flipped her hair like the rich, snobby people normally did.
"Allen is not smart. He's a stupid brat." Kanda commented.
"Be quiet girly boy, I heed not for your words."
"Ha! Rejected!" Allen did a small victory dance inside his head.
"Shut up pansy." Kanda glared at him.
"Who's the one with the hair?"
"Be quiet. You two are both girly." Marietta sniffed with her nose in the air.
"Excuse me, but I was talking to Kanda." The blonde girl with radish earrings from before interjected. She turned to Kanda and co. "My name is Luna Lovegood and I have a prestigious father whom is the editor of The Quibbler."
"She also goes by the name of Looney Lovegood." Cho added.
"Well at least Harry Potter accepts me." Luna said with obvious spite.
"Ha! Harry is in love with me," Cho sneered..
"Really?" Lenalee asked with obvious interest.
"Yeah. Look at him." Cho turned backwards towards the Gryffindor table, as did everyone else.
As if on cue, Harry had dribble hanging from his mouth.
"See?" Cho smiled and turned towards her table.
"He's just sleepy." Luna waved it off.
"It was fresh dribble." Allen replied.
"If you ask me, Potter's a pervert." Kanda comment nonchalantly.
"Just like you." Allen retorted.
"I'm not the one that stares at -"
"That's enough. I do not wish to hear your blabbering as they sound like baboons trying to converse in an unkempt fashion," Marietta stated.
Kanda shot her another glare.
Wow! Kanda must really hate her.
"Excuse me but I'm not the one with the stick shoved up my ass." Lenalee mused in the same voice as Marietta.
"I'm sorry that you're not as perfect as I am and that you have to go to extreme measures to copy my lustrous voice. I am also not the one with the attitude problem as I am perfect." Marietta smiled a mega-watt smile.
But it was really just scary.
Allen chocked. Again.
Kanda let Allen suffer as revenge.
"Oi! Walker!"
Allen was by himself, on his way to his dormitory in the dungeons.
"Yes?"
"I want to ask you something." Melfoy demanded.
Allen motioned for him to continue.
"Are you..." Malfoy stopped and shuddered before finishing, "homosexual?"
"No."
"Very well then. Is your friend with the long hair that glares a lot.." Shudder. Again. "Homosexual?"
"... I don't think so."
Malfoy stared at Allen for a moment before commenting, "If you were..." Shudder. "Homosexual. I'd have contacted my father and you would be out of Hogwarts faster than I can click my fingers."
"...How fast can you click your fingers?"
"... I can't." Malfoy stated in an exasperated voice.
Allen's expression can be described as a cross between disappointment and distaste.
"Anyway. Good night Walker."
With that, Malfoy turned away from Allen and started to walk away.
Allen couldn't help but deadpan.
How gay could Malfoy get?
No one heard the screams that echoed through the night.
In the morning, there was a cluster of students around the noticeboard in the Hufflepuff common room.
Kanda, who's hair was neatly brushed into his usual ponytail, decided to see what the whole commotion was about. He pushed past the many people and read the notice.
Do You Want Protection?
No. Not condoms.
You-Know-Who is back and so are his allies.
Defeat them.
Learn Exorcism.
Free Extra lessons with Lenalee Lee of Ravenclaw.
And in small print: "Written by Hermione G and Ronald W. Real lessons are with Harry Potter. Contact him for more information."
What cheapo's. Using Lenalee's name, Komui's going to screw their heads in when he reads this.
Kanda walked away and exited the Hufflepuff common room. As he arrived at the Great Hall, he was graced by the presence of none other than Albus Dumbledore.
"Yuu Kanda, I wish to speak to you, privately."
Kanda nodded and followed the old man in the swishing fluorescent robes.
Woah! He's eyes were seriously going to go blind now.
They arrived at a room decorated with tinsel and mistletoe.
Isn't it four more months until Christmas?
"Hold the handle please."
Must be a portkey
Kanda latched his hand onto the handle of the door, and Dumbledore followed suit.
A few seconds passed as they clasped on, and then Kanda felt a pull around his navel.
They arrived in a room, in which the two were facing the fireplace directly. The fireplace was blazing warmly, it was made of old, orange bricks covered in dust. No ornaments or objects lay or stood near the fireplace. It was blank and yet it seemed to hold much more.
"Yuu-chan!" An excited voice that sounded like Lavi's came from behind them.
Kanda turned around to face Allen.
"Beansprout! Lena-kun!"
Lenalee and Allen were seated on a white couch, but there was no Lavi – to strangle – in sight.
The small room only had the fireplace and the couch. It was white. Every single detail was white except the fireplace, of course.
"Where's Lavi?" Kanda asked whom decided not to sit down. "Why did I hear his voice if he isn't here?"
"Tape recorder." Allen simply replied. He held up a black tape recorder.
"I thought electrical objects couldn't work in Hogwarts."
"They can't." Dumbledore stated still facing the fireplace. "The tape recorder is powered by different 'magic'. I've never seen 'magic' like this before in my entire life nor have I ever read about it. I believe this magic is like yours. It must have something to do with innocence. The tape recorder will never run out."
Allen pressed a small button dismally.
"Yuu-chan! Beansprout! Lena-kun!"
"We found this when we went to check on Lavi. He wasn't there and there was no trace of him ever being there." Allen explained.
"Meaning he has betrayed you, and by betraying you three, he has betrayed Hogwarts. He is no longer an ally but he is one of the enemy."
The three stared at him waiting to hear what was said next.
"This has prompted us to go to 'war' and you three will be fighting in the front line.'
To Be Continued
Next time: Meet the enemies!
A/N: Writing Marietta was fun. And sorry if she was OOC (And Cho as well). Renge (from Ouran) inspired her although Renge isn't stupid.
Oh. And if anyone has a livejournal, add me as a friend and talk to me, yeah?
Mine is : http:// shiitarded . livejournal . com /
I get bored sometimes. : )
Review? They encourage me to write quicker : ) And ideas and opinions are awesome :D