Chapter Six – Luck pushed me first
Denial was my friend, at first. "That's…not possible, Alice."
Alice took one step towards me, her hand twitching towards mine. A comforting gesture, but there was no need for it. There was just no feasible option of Bella being dead. "I've been trying to call you all night."
I put up my mental barricade, refusing to allow any negative images to permeate. "You must have seen wrong. It's happened before..." Phoenix came to mind. So did her red-eyed future for Bella. She does not come with an ironclad guarantee, and I knew that.
"I'm not wrong." The rigidity in her voice—it was inarguable. "You need to sit down, unless you actually want to pass out in my arms."
I followed her orders, still mentally reeling. After I sat down in one of the booths, she handed me a tattered piece of paper, torn haphazardly from a newspaper. A death notice in Forks' newspaper. This wrinkled page proved without uncertainty what Alice had stated at arrival.
Bella, gone. I could not fathom it.
I could only manage to get one coherent word from my bumbling lips. "How?"
"She was swimming. Diving alone, no less." The chuckle that came from her lips was ironic and the driest sound I'd ever heard.
"Bella promised." I growled, unsure where my anger should have been directed. At Bella, for her recklessness? At Alice? Shooting the messenger seemed the appropriate phrase at that moment.
"She didn't know how strong the tides were, and by the time someone got in to save her, it was too late." As if her actions were defensible.
Hysterics began replacing every ounce of control I held. "Why…why didn't you stop this! If you saw her...why didn't you stop this?" I didn't' realize I was yelling until the last word.
"By the time I saw it, it was too late to do anything."
I could not blame Alice. There was only person deserving of condemnation.
"This can't be happening." I chanted, both mentally and aloud. As if the repetition could reverse fate and revive my lost love. The longer I thought of her, the deeper into despair I fell. If I hadn't left, or if I had gone back sooner, I could have saved her.
"She was on La Push territory." Alice spoke before I could contemplate any possible alterations to this desolate scenario. And her words were cold comfort—even if I had been there, she probably would have...
At that thought—Bella's beautiful crimson faded, laying in an eternal sleep—my watering eyes flooded and the levees broke. Red-hot and stinging tears fell down my face and I was uncertain emotion I felt was appropriate. There had been countless weeks of grieving that I needed the act of crying so bad it merely added to desolation. And now here I was, human as ever, crying my eyes out. Should I celebrate these grieving tears, or would the irony in them alone kill me?
Alice wrapped her arms around me, careful not to crush my stupid fragile body. As I heaved and sobbed in her cold arms, she said nothing. Allowed me to lament in uninterrupted silence. My dejection nearly choked me when I finally tried to speak.
"There's nothing left for me here." I spoke into her hard skin.
She knew the destination of this conversation. She had been there in Phoenix; she'd seen my contingency plans. And she knew I had no intentions of living in a Bella-less world. How sadistic was it—at the precise moment that Bella's humanity was sacrificed, I was given a new life.
"Wait." I said, a barrage of ideas flying through my head at lightening speed. I looked up from Alice's embrace towards Ned. "When you brought me to life, you thought I was dead. How exactly does that work?"
He stammered at first, obviously uncomfortable discussing his special abilities. Perhaps he would feel more at ease if he knew of my mind-reading past.
Before I could get the details I was seeking, Alice smiled slowly. "Of course. Why didn't I think of that?" She looked at me with one eyebrow raised. "I believe you have a favor to ask." Her white hand motioned towards Ned, a know-it-all grin on her lips. I caught on instantly.
"Would you consider...bringing my girlfriend back to life?"
The air was tense with an unspoken mystery. Ned, Emerson, and Charlotte all glanced at each other, secrets buried in their eyes.
Ned cleared his throat and broke the silence. "If you want or need a goodbye for closure, I would be happy to oblige. But she can't stay alive for longer than a moment or..."
The thick air of silence returned like a black cloud of doom.
"Or...?" I remained the only one in the darkness of unanswered questions.
"Or else someone will die in her place." Only Alice could break the grim news. Her know-it-all glare darkened slightly, and not out of thirst. She knew of a plan that, if given the time, I would have concoted myself. But now I was equipped with the necessary information, and I knew what needed to be done.
Bella did not deserve death, and I would do whatever it took to give her the life she deserved.
"What if I knew that, and asked you to keep her alive irregardless?"
Ned looked very hesitant. "I hate to be selective about who I choose to let live and who to let die. I'm not a masochist, and I have the furthest thing away from a God complex."
"I think you should let him do it." Chuck declared, and in a knee-jerk reaction, everyone in the room snapped towards her sinewy figure. "No one is implying you're a masochist by fulfilling this poor boy's request."
"It would work." Alice guaranteed. "They're a cosmic match, so to speak."
"What are you fools blabber-jabbering about?" Emerson asked, the only one in the room completely oblivious to the implications of my request.
"If Ned were to keep Bella alive for longer than a minute, a person in near proximity would need to balance the cosmos and die in her place." Alice explained slowly, anticipating the private investigator to put the pieces together on his own. When he did not, she sighed heavily and became as sharp as a pencil. "Edward is going to be that person to balance it out."
The room seemed to spin at that statement, but not out of regret or hesitation. It felt so...right.
"I'm not sure my conscience would allow me to do that." Ned continued to stammer, looking nedlessly guilty.
"It's my choice." I said firmly. "If this is a matter of money, I would be more than happy to comensate you." In previous experience, bringing up financial compensation always persuaded better than logic.
Emerson perked up. I had peaked his interest, thanks to the acknowledgement of money. But the only person who needed urging—the only person who would bring the girl I loved back to life—looked unswayable.
"While I'm sure believers in tithes will dispute this, I don't believe that a monetary amount will ease the guilt of causing death. Specifically, your death."
Emerson coughed out a laugh. "Yeah, like that's stopped you before." He nodded towards Charlotte, and grinned smugly. "Myself on the other hand, I am a firm believer in this young boy and the strength of his love for old what's-her-name."
"Bella." Charlotte and I said simultaneously, though I sounded far more aggravated than she.
"Right." He said with an over-the-top smile. He was trying too hard, so desperate for a payout that he would fake sincerity to achieve it. I didn't care. As long as he would convince Ned to bring Bella back,
Alice said nothing. Her anger over my choice was apparent in her rigid silence.
"Agreeing to do this does not in any way indicate partiality towards this plan."
I silently cheered. Bella would return to her exquisite breathing self, and I would take her place in death. My final gift to her.
The lack of response to my postings is very disheartening. I understand it's the holidays and everyone's busy, but I'm a paranoid pessimist, so I'm taking it personally. Reviews or not, I'm too involved with the stories to quit. So for my sanity's sake, please review.