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The Mighty Boosh

' Can't you drive this thing any faster? ' demanded Vince, as Naboo sat at the head of the submarine, Bollo at his side,' we have to get there before anything happens to her! '

' Vince,' Naboo said calmly,' this is the 100th time you or Howard have told me to hurry up between you, and I can't make this thing go any faster than it already is. '

Vince nodded and sighed,' I know, I'm just ... oh, God. ' In frustration, he put his hands on his head, leaning against the side of the submarine. Tears threatened to spill from his eyes as he thought about his little sister.

His bright blue eyes glassed over and he fought hard not to cry. He wasn't used to Holly being in trouble, and he didn't know how to cope with it. Holly was - like himself - full of sunshine and eternally happy, so it was hard to picture a situation where she was in trouble and he had to go save her.

A stray tear slipped down his pale skin and he furiously wiped it away.

Howard was sitting on the floor of the submarine in silence. His knees were pulled up to his chest and his head rested on his knees. He too, didn't know how to cope. So he said and did nothing. But he knew he was going to do Gregg some serious harm.

*****

He tied her up. Sea-weed bound together her wrists and the old merman forced her to kneel on the cold hard floor. He waved a knife at her and told her to be quiet, to wait for Howard to come. To wait for Gregg to make Howard his own.

It seemed like a life time and all she wanted was to be in her boyfriend's, or her brother's, arms; safe.

Eventually, there was a loud clanging, and loud voices.

' Hey! ' came the unmistakeable voice of her elder brother,' I want my little sister back! '

' Yeah, you ball bag! ' came the usually more quiet Naboo.

Suddenly, they were there. The shaman, the ape, her brother and her boyfriend. All there to save her.

' Howard! Vince! ' she cried, biting her lip hard.

' Holly! ' Vince exclaimed, hurrying forward, not even thinking about the knife wielding madman.

Gregg turned on him, waving the knife around, and Howard grabbed his friend by the back of his shirt, pulling him away.

Vince wanted to cry again. Holly looked so vunerable kneeling on the floor, hands tied together; her hair was strewn across her face and her forehead sported a nasty bruise. All he wanted to do was grab her and hold her.

All Howard could think about was how much he wanted to hurt Gregg.

' Hello Howard,' Greg grinned, turning the knife back towards Holly, who shrunk away.

Howard nodded,' Alright, Gregg? '

Gregg grinned wider,' Old Gregg missed you, my fuzzy little man peach. Old Gregg missed his man peach. '

' He's not yours! ' shouted Holly.

Gregg glared at her with his eyes,' Shut it, fool! ' he snapped, before turning back to Howard,' what're you doing with this silly little girl? You need me, Howard. I know you want me. '

' It's over between us, Gregg,' Howard told her,' we had something once, but it's gone. I'm with Holly now. I love Holly. '

' You don't mean that,' Old Gregg said, moving closer to Howard and dropping his arm,' I can see it in your eyes. It's the same look I give a bottle of Bailey's at half price. '

Vince took the opportunity to move closer and try to get to his sister. He was hoping Howard would keep the weirdo distracted long enough for Vince to get to Holly.

No such luck however, as Old Gregg turned around at the last minute and chased Vince away. Vince tried to hide behind Bollo and Naboo, peering out from behind them both nervously.

' Just let her go,' Howard said,' please. '

Gregg just laughed,' I'll give you the little girl on one condition, Howard. '

Holly held her breath, hoping they'd all get out of this alright. Howard as tearing up inside - if anything appened to Holly, he'd be devasted. Though they'd not been together too long, they were very close and he loved her more than he ever would have thought possible.

Howard would have done anything to make sure she was safe. For Vince's sake as well as his own and Holly's. Vince was his best friend and Vince would be crushed if anything happened.

Bearing in mind that he'd do anything, Howard nodded,' Of course. '

' Marry me Howard Moon,' Gregg said.

Howard looked from Gregg to Holly and shook his head in horror,' But I'm with Holly - I love her! I can't marry you! '

Gregg grabbed Holly's arm and dragged her to her feet. He turned her around, her back to his chest and put an arm around her neck, holding the knife to her throat.

' Marry me, or I'll kill the girl right here and right now,' he said menacingly.

Vince, Naboo and Bollo looked on in horror. Howard said nothing, and Gregg raised his eyebrows.

Howard shook his head,' I ... I can't. '

' You think I won't do it? ' Gregg challenged, pressing the knife against the pale skin of the youg woman, so that small beads of blood appeared.

' Don't, Howard,' Holly told him,' I'd rather die than see you marry him.'

Gregg smirked and was about to plunge the knife deeper when Howard cracked.

' Alright! Alright! ' he called,' I'll marry you. '