Dead Roses

by Watson is a hedgehog

Severus Snape lets Lily Evans know about how he feels about her. However, Lily likes James Potter. Despite that, Lily agrees to go out with Snape. But Snape doesn't know that she likes James. How will he react? What will he do when he finds out? WARNING: SUICIDE AND SELF-HARM CONTAINED IN THIS MATERIAL! Beware . . . Credit goes to J.K. Rowling for the base of the storyline.

6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

Lily POV:

I quickly walked back to my room, even more furious with myself than before. A picture of Severus's face when I told him that I wasn't ready kept on playing in my mind. I'm just hurting him even more and more.

I shook my head as I pushed my way into my dorm, dropping everything on my bed and taking my coat, gloves and scarf off, hanging it by the door. I walked back to my bed and sat down, sighing. Joan Ross looked over from her bed, her brow furrowing.

"Something wrong Lily?"

"Not really."

"Mhm." She said skeptically.

I internally shook my fist at the ceiling.

Thoughts were piling up in my mind. What was I going to do? When will I tell Severus that I don't really like him? How will he feel? How will I break it to him that I don't love him? How do I feel?

That's when it hit me:

I fancied James Potter.

I let out a shaky breath as I let that thought sink in. How selfish could I be? Doing something like that; liking another boy when I told my best friend that I loved him?

I slapped my hand on the bed and pushed myself off, trudging to the bathrooms, deciding to take a shower. That's probably the only way that could relieve my stress.

I stripped and got in, just standing there as the water poured over my head and down my body. However, I was still tense. I couldn't relax my muscles as I kept on thinking about Severus and what it would be like for him to realize that I didn't like him. I'm betraying him.

What kind of friend would do something like that? I should have told him from day one that I never liked him like that. . . that way, he would be not as hurt. Sure, it would make us distant for a while, but it would have been better then causing him more pain and to live in misery.

I stepped out of the shower and cleared my mirror, covered in fog.

There were purple bags under my eyes and my skin was beginning to sag. I've been so stressed out, not only about my love life, but about school. There has been so much work and I've been trying to find time for Snape but I also wanted to enjoy myself. Why did life have to be so confusing?

I decided against eating dinner and brushed my teeth and changed into my pajamas. I walked back to my bed and snuggled under the covers, trying to get the warmth to invade me, which it finally did. I breathed in deeply, getting frustrated as the seconds tick by.

I was dragged into a deep sleep, in a pool of misery.