Hinder

Lips Of An Angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
Does he know you're talking to me?
Will it start a fight?
No I don't think she has a clue

Well, my girls in the next room.
Sometimes I wish she was you.
I guess we never really moved on.
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name.
It sounds so sweet

Coming from the lips of an angel,
Hearing those words
It makes me weak.
And I never want to say goodbye.
But girl you make it hard to be faithful,

With the lips of an angel.

(A/N): Okay, so normally I'm not the type to post an Author's Note before and after an entry, but I couldn't find it in myself to put this off any longer. I would just like to say a quick thank you to everyone who favorited me as an author, or LOAA as a story, and I would like to express my extreme gratitude to those who reviewed! I love them more than a fat kid loves cake. Well, I wont keep you from reading any longer! Until the bottom of the page, dear friends. Toodaloo!

BPOV

"Bells! Come on, how long does it take for you to get dressed?" Charlie called up the stairs, an edge to his tone. In reality, it didn't take long at all- in fact, it took me less than two minutes to put on the entire outfit. Actually walking out of the house in it… that was a totally different matter.

I stood in my room, staring at myself in the full length mirror. I cocked my head to the side, hoping that viewing the ensemble from the different angle would give me more confidence, but it didn't. I was still me, still plain and washed out, and I still felt like a little girl dressed up in her mothers clothes. I turned around and looked at myself over my shoulder, wincing at the not-so-subtle way the new jeans drew attention to my ass. I faced the mirror again and leaned in, examining the mascara coating my eyelashes, and cursed under my breath- it definitely looked clumpy and wrong against my pale pallor. And my hair… it was an entirely different issue. At first, I had thought that it was the only redeeming quality about the entire get up- it was smooth and straight, and swished gently when I walked- the product of spending a full hour on it the night prior. But now, in this view, it looked like it was too smooth- as though it was laying against my head too flatly, making it appear as though I was losing my hair, instead of providing the luster that the conditioner I had bought promised.

"Damn it!" I growled unimpressively, and threw my hands in the air. I sighed, exasperated, and grabbed my purse hanging on the closet doorknob. I threw one last glance at my outfit, and decided to stop being such a coward. Honestly, I thought to myself, grow a pair.

"Bella! Let's go!" Charlie yelled again, a bit louder, a tangible annoyance in his voice. I slipped on my shoes, the one part of my outfit that I fully approved of, and threw my hair over my shoulder. I closed my eyes, sent a few silent prayers to whoever was listening, and opened my door without another thought. Walking down the stairs to Charlie's grumbling figure, I heard his intake of breath when I came into complete view.

"Wow, Bell. You look beautiful." he murmured, placing an arm around my shoulder. I grimaced- if Charlie was impressed with my outfit, what would everyone else think?

"Thanks, Dad. Happy Easter." I said flatly, wrapping my arms around my torso.

"Happy Easter! Are you ready for the egg hunt at the Black's?" he asked, the anger in his tone gone. I brightened up at the mention of Jacob and Billy, and gave Charlie a smile.

"Yup- you know that I love Easter eggs." I winked, and Charlie laughed. It was sort of a little inside joke between us that had been going on since I was ten, when I ate so many hardboiled eggs that I ended up puking all over the backseat of the cruiser. I ad never eaten a single Easter egg since, and every time I was around someone who was, a queasy feeling built up inside me.

"I sure do. Now come on, it's time to get going." He retracted his arm from my body, and we walked outside together. It wasn't raining yet, a definite plus, and I found myself forgetting about my outfit increasingly in anticipation to see Jacob.

In the weekends that had followed our fight on the beach, Jacob and I had become closer than ever. Our friendship was effortless, easy, simple. It was like blinking- something that was natural, once I had given him a chance to actually bond with me. He knew more about me than any of my other friends, past and present, and vice versa. I was more open with him than I was with even my mother, blocking him out of only a single part of my life- the time when he was here. Jacob obviously knew about him and our past relationship, but he also knew enough not to pry. And I, in return, asked not a single question about his mom, something that I knew was a difficult thing to talk about for him. I could even go as far as saying it was just as hard for him to talk about his mom as it was for me to talk about him.

But, aside from the hard stuff, everything was great with Jacob. We talked and laughed freely around each other, joking and teasing one another. Our playful banter was something that I always looked forward to- I liked the fact that we could make fun of one another, always laughing about it in the end. As usual, comfortable silences constantly loomed over us, allowing us both to think a little, and be alone in our heads.

The only huge difference, really, in our relationship before and after the fight, besides our obvious closeness, was the way I thought about Jacob- and the way I knew he thought about me. On the day of the argument, I had spilled my thoughts and feelings about him. I had let him know exactly how much I needed him, and that had put us in a position neither of us was completely familiar with. I could see all the obvious ways of Jacob's flirtation, and I felt flattered rather than violated. I could tell that my hugs lasted a beat too long, though Jacob wasn't exactly the first to pull away. I was aware of how flustered Jacob always was during the first few minutes of our meetings, and I also noticed the fluttery feeling I got in my stomach when I thought about seeing him again. I no longer saw Jacob as a get-away from Charlie- I saw him as a safe haven where I could be whoever the hell I wanted to. And out of all these confusing feelings and reactions to one another's company, there was one thing I was certain of:

My heart, mangled, broken, and aching as it was, had begun to fall for someone else.

I constantly tried denying this fact, always tried convincing myself that I was unable to even remotely feel the same way about anyone else as I had him. And it wasn't because when he left I was stripped of feelings- I could feel, most definitely, everything. But he had given me some kind of crippling fear when he had deserted me- a fear that anyone that I loved would abandon me, just when I thought things were going fine, as he had done. He had left me with the impression that I wasn't good enough for him, and I wasn't; I didn't try to deny that. But knowing that I wasn't good enough for him had given me an idea that had dawned on me shortly after his departure- what made me think that I was good enough for anyone? I mean, sure, he had been almost impossible to live up to, and I had always known deep down that I could never be enough for him, but really, next to anyone- humans and immortals alike- was I really equal? Was I really enough for someone to love, to care about?

These questions gnawed at me the whole drive to La Push. Charlie seemed to sense my deep brooding, and didn't try to pull me out of my reverie- I don't think, at least. Maybe he had, and I just hadn't noticed. Regardless, the only thing able to pull me out of my thoughts completely was the sight of the little barn red house as we pulled up in the cruiser. There was already a nice, welcoming fire roaring in the front yard, and a group of people could be seen lounging around it in white lawn chairs. Jacob's tall figure was easily recognizable, what with his head visible over everyone else's. My heart leapt in my chest, and I honestly thought that it was going to crack one of my ribs with its hammering. An unconscious smile crept to my lips, and I caught Charlie's approving glance when I tried to walk towards the group without skipping.

When I approached everyone, Jacob's face lit up and he stood, his arms automatically spreading for me to step into. Trying not to think about how good his arms felt around my shoulders or how warm he was, I hugged him back.

"Hey, Bella! Happy Easter!" he said jovially in my ear, squeezing me gently. I inhaled his comforting scent that I had become so accustomed to, and pulled away.

"Happy Easter, Jacob." I grinned. I saw his eyes wander to my wrist, the way they did every time I saw him, and noticed his smile widen when he saw that I was still wearing his bracelet. I never took it off.

"So, you know I'm totally kicking your ass in the Easter egg hunt, right? It's a known fact on the rez that I'm completely awesome when it comes to searching for badly hidden painted eggs." he winked.

"Um, I'm not sure if that's something to boast about, Jacob." I laughed. "And by the way, I'm the record holder for Phoenix's Annual Easter Egg Hunt, 1999."

Jacob grinned at me and pulled a chair from a stack next to the house, setting it next to his. He patted the seat once, and I sat down in it as he plopped into his. Leaning closer to me so that he could speak quietly in my ear, and gestured inconspicuously to each of the people sitting around the fire as he gave me a name.

"Okay, so sitting next to my dad on the right is Old Quil- he's Quil's grandpa and, like, co-chief of the tribe. On the left is Harry Clearwater, who's got kind of the same position in the tribe, and on the ground in front of him are his two kids, Seth and Leah. Next to Harry is Sue, his wife. Over there," he continued, gesturing towards a couple sitting alone, "Is Sam and his fiancé Emily. They don't really talk to anyone, but Sam's sort of next in line for chief. Behind us is Paul and Jared, and you already know Quil and Em. Oh, and of course, the band of giggling children over there are Emily's nieces and nephews and siblings. All I know is that the little blonde one's name is Claire, she's been here for a while now, but honestly, I think there are too many of them to remember." he finished. I laughed, and swept my hair over my shoulder.

"Hey, Bella!" a familiar, friendly voice called from behind me. I turned around and saw Quil waving at me. I smiled politely and nodded at him.

"Hi, Quil. How are ya?" I asked, resting my chin on the back of my chair.

"Good. How's it been going for you?" he responded, walking over to where Jacob and I were. He crouched down to my eyelevel.

"I'm fine. Anything new going on?"

"Nope. How's Jake doing?" he asked, without looking at his friend. I furrowed my brows, confused at his question- why would he be asking me such a thing? When Jacob was right there, and he could very well ask him himself?

"Um… what?" I finished lamely.

"How. Is. Jacob. Doing?" he asked again, slower, talking to me as if I was incompetent. Jacob seemed to catch on to his questioning, because I saw him stiffen in his chair out of the corner of my eye. I, on the other hand, was still in the dark, and continued on, wanting to know what these questions meant.

"I don't know what you mean." I admitted, sweeping my wayward hair over my shoulder and smoothing it. "Why don't you ask him? He's right there."

"Quil, drop it." Jacob said darkly. I turned to him and saw that an angry expression clouded his happy features, and I turned back to Quil.

"What's going on?" I asked, eyeing him skeptically.

"Nothing, Bella. Quil needs to back off is all." Jacob muttered in the same tone, without looking at me.

"Oh, I think it's definitely something, Jake." Quil argued.

"I disagree." Jacob said flatly through his teeth.

"She should know." Quil persisted, glancing at me angrily.

"What? What should I know?" I squeaked, looking back and forth between the two of them. By this time, Embry had come to stand behind Quil to watch, listening as things heated up quickly.

"That he's been completely blowing off-"

"Quil, I said drop it." Jacob silenced him, giving him a look that had shivers going down my spine. For someone who was usually so bright and happy, Jacob looked down right scary. I put an hand on his rigid shoulder.

"Jacob, calm down." I cautioned him, my voice shaking. Jacob's glare flickered to me for only a brief second, but the worry in my eyes seemed to settle him just slightly, and he relaxed a little in his seat- though his glare would not relent. I didn't know what had gotten these boys worked up, but a fight on Easter Sunday was bound to start up some troubles up 'there'.

"Listen to your girlfriend, Jake. I didn't come over here to fight you. Just to inform Bella of what's been going on in that pretty head of yours." Quil said scathingly. I immediately felt any liking I had ever had of Quil disappear- I didn't appreciate the way he was treating Jacob, or myself, for that matter.

"Say what you need to say, Quil, so Jacob and I can get back to the conversation you interrupted." I snapped, feeling my own anger replacing the fear inside me.

"Touchy touchy." Quil grumbled, but turned to face me once again. "I just wanted to let you know that Jacob, even if he's told you otherwise, has friends besides you. Maybe you could let him off the leash a little and allow him to play with his buddies once in a while? Does that sound okay?" he asked in a patronizing tone, his eyes narrowed and smothering. And then everything clicked. Jacob was ignoring his friends, Quil, at least, to be with me. Just as I was about to let Quil know that I wasn't keeping Jacob from seeing anyone, I was cut off.

"Me not hanging out with you has nothing to do with Bella, Quil. She doesn't make those decisions- I do. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I just don't want to talk to you?" Jacob said before I could respond.

"Oh, so is that what this is? We've been best friends since the third grade and now you're claiming to hate me all of the sudden?" Quil demanded, eyes going wide.

"I don't hate you, Quil. Stop being so damn dramatic, you sound like a chick." Jacob muttered. "You've been acting differently is all, and I haven't had the dire need or want for your company of late. Okay? So can you go now, I'm not in the mood to play boyfriend and girlfriend with you. Don't you have Crystal for that shit?"

Quil's face went red, and he let out an angry exhale. "Actually, if you had even attempted to talk to me recently, you would know that Crystal and I are done. And you know what else, Jacob? So is this. Happy Easter." and with those words of departure, he stood up and stalked back to where the rest of his group was waiting for him.

JPOV

I turned to Bella, conveying my apologies through my eyes. "I'm really sorry, Bella. I don't know what's gotten into those guys- I've got Embry up my ass at school, and now I've got Quil yelling at you- I wasn't aware they had become such girls." she rose her eyebrows at me, and I quickly backpedaled. "I mean, not that being a girl is a bad thing. You guys have got all these great assets-" her eyebrows rose impossibly higher on her head as she gaped at me. "Wait, that's not what I meant! Girls are much more than just your bodies, really, you've got brains, too, I just- I meant- I-"

Bella placed her palm over my big stupid mouth, and grinned at me.

"I got it, Jacob." she said, giggling. My shoulders slumped, defeated, and I muttered my apology through her hand. She removed it slowly, giving me a look that said, 'I-will-totally-put-it-back-if-you-keep-up-with-that-rambling-crap.' I smiled at her innocently. She rolled her eyes, but then her expression went serious.

"Even if Quil was being a dick about the whole thing, is what he said true? Have you been ignoring them?" she asked quietly in a tiny voice.

"Oh, Bella, no. Well, yes, but not for the reason he gave to you. What I said to Quil, I meant. He's been acting off lately, and I really don't want to deal with it right now." I assured her, taking her hand. She eyed me like she didn't believe me, and sighed.

"But Jacob… I wouldn't feel right if you were giving up your friends to be with me. I mean, they were here first…" her voice trailed off and she looked down, biting her lip.

"That's true," I nodded, "but you're here now."

She looked up at me and smiled, her cheeks going slightly pink. "Okay." she said quietly, and brushed her hair out of her face. I grinned and let our hands fall in the empty space between our chairs, warming up her cold fingers with mine. The wind picked up, and I caught a whiff of freesias, a scent I automatically recognized as Bella. It was wonderful- a delicate balance of flowers and sugary sweetness, and a hint of vanilla…

"You smell good, Bella." I blurted unthinkingly. She looked at me oddly for a moment, but then gave me a half smile.

"Thanks." she murmured, her eyes bright. I found it hard to break away from her stare, and thought that she looked different- her eyes had a sort of allure to them; they seemed bigger, and more pronounced against her pale skin. Her eyelashes looked thicker, framing her brown eyes quite nicely, and-"What are you staring at?" she asked, touching her face with the hand I wasn't grasping self-consciously. I quickly averted my eyes, wondering what the hell had gotten into me.

"Nothing- sorry." I muttered, and started playing with the edges of my shirt. Just then, Harry stood up and looked around, a smile spread on his lips.

"Alright, alright, little ones!" he yelled over the anxious chatter of the children. "It's time for all of you to go inside, so that we can get the Easter Bunny out here to hide the eggs!" A significant amount of excited squeals rang through the small crowd, and I pulled Bella up as Harry lead them into the house.

"Where are we going?" she wondered, following behind me. I looked at her over my shoulder.

"Inside. We're going to watch the kids for a second, to make sure there isn't any peeking through the windows while the, uh, Easter Bunny hides the eggs." I winked at her and grinned. She smiled and mouthed, 'Oh,' and we walked up the steps behind the parade of the children. Harry made the kids sit around the sofa, and Bella and I stationed ourselves in front of the TV across from them. Grabbing a plastic bag filled with the eggs Sue had painted last night, Harry walked outside with a call of, "Easter Bunny, you can come out now!"

When the clomping of Harry's boots could no longer be heard on the stairs, the kids started whispering eagerly among themselves. I looked at Bella and smiled silently. She grinned back at me, and I got another long look at her face- something was different. I grabbed her chin and tilted her face upwards so that I could get a better view. I turned her head this way and that, trying to detect the change.

"Jacob, what're you-"

"Are you wearing makeup?" I interrupted, scrutinizing her face. Indeed, she was- I could now see why her eyelashes had appeared thicker, why her eyes looked brighter- there was some type of cosmetic on her face. I had no idea what it was (which was probably a good thing), but what ever she had used was amazing. Bella was beautiful to me without any enhancements, but even the small amount of makeup was very nice. Her cheeks flushed red, and she looked away, removing her face from my grasp.

"Yeah," she muttered, shoving her hands in her jean pockets. "so?"

"So," I said, leaning down, trying to get another glimpse of her, "I think it looks kinda pretty."

Her cheeks went an even deeper shade of ruby, but I caught sight of a smile before she turned her face away from me again. "We should be watching the kids, Jacob."

She said nothing more for a couple more minutes, apparently finding great interest in her fingernails. She peeked up at me, her cheeks still beet red. I gave her a toothy grin, and she bit her lip and looked down again.

After another couple of minutes with no sign of Harry, I started to wonder where he was- surely it didn't take this long to hide a few eggs?

"Where the hell is he?" I wondered aloud, earning a large amount of gasps from the children.

"Oh, Jake, you say a bad word!" Claire called out, pointing a finger accusingly at me. I knelt down in front of her, breaking my hold of Bella's hand.

"Does your mom take you to church, Claire-Bear?" I asked, poking her in the belly. She emitted a giggle and nodded. "Well, don't you know that the word hell is in the Bible? Its practically a good thing that I said it- like a compliment or something to the big man." I looked up at the ceiling.

I heard Bella's intake of air as she gasped, and felt her hand smack the back of my head.

"Don't tell her that!" she chastised me, but Claire ignored her.

"I can say hell too, Jake?"

I fought to restrain a laugh as I stood up and patted her on the head.

"No, Claire. Hell is an adult word- only grown-ups can say it. Like me and Bella, here." she nodded her head slowly, as if truly considering this, and turned back to her cousins surrounding her.

"You're ridiculous." Bella muttered when I stood beside her again.

"What? Would you rather me lie to the kid?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders and putting an arm around her. She glared at me briefly, but then smiled and shook her head, over her brief fit of irritation.

Just then, Harry burst through the doors with at least twenty different colorful, woven baskets.

"Alright, kids! Come and get a basket!" he called out. All at once, the kids stood up and stampeded over to him. He distributed the baskets, and then knelt down so that he was at eyelevel with all of them.

"Now listen, there is one golden egg out there. Just one. The finder of the egg is going to get the special treat hidden inside it." he told them mysteriously. The kids giggled in anticipation and nodded, practically vibrating with excitement.

"There are a few rules, though-"

"Oh, come on, Harry, just let 'em outside, will you?" I interrupted, and threw the front door open. The kids rushed outside and ran down the stairs, a look of serious concentration on each of their faces. What was once a huge herd of short people broke up and separated, everyone going in different directions in search of the eggs.

"Not cool, Jake." Harry said, but laughed afterwards.

"I think the kids thought it was pretty cool. What was not cool was the way you were keeping them waiting for so long- they were going to combust." I argued. Harry shook his head at my triumphant grin and sat next to my dad again. I turned to Bella and feinted sadness.

"I guess we're not going to participate in this years egg hunt." I stuck out my bottom lip. Bella laughed and leaned into me. "Shall we go outside?"

"Sure," she agreed, nodding. I retracted my arm from her shoulders so that we could walk down the stairs without falling, opting to take her hand again instead.

"It's relatively nice out today." she commented, gazing up a the thin veil of clouds concealing the sun. I nodded silently, leading her towards the beach. She stopped, pulling me to a halt.

"What is it?" I asked, facing her.

"Um, how about we, like, not go to the beach? Just for today?"

"Okay. The forest, then." I amended, deciding not to inquire about her sudden aversion to the beach. She would tell me if she wanted to.

"Yes, the forest is good." she nodded her head quickly. I spun us around and began walking in the opposite direction, towards the trail leading into the densely packed trees.

When we were under the cover of the canopy of leaves, she spoke again.

"I'm sorry, if you were set on going to the beach." her voice was small and quiet.

"No, I wasn't. It's okay- the beach is getting kind of boring for me anyways." I admitted. She nodded, and I could tell she agreed with me. After all, almost every time she came over, the beach was where we ended up. The routine was starting to get tiring and I never could seem to get the salty scent off of my skin entirely.

We walked for a few more minutes silently, the forest teeming with life around us. A bird exploded out of a tree and crossed our path within inches of my head; Bella squealed and jumped behind me. I laughed at her expression, and she stepped out from behind me, her cheeks slightly pink. I did notice that she positioned herself half way behind me, though, as ready to duck for cover at a moment's notice. I grinned at her, and we continued until I found a fallen tree. I sat down on it, and patted the spot next to me. She looked at me incredulously.

"Seriously? What if there's bugs, or something?" she squeaked, eyeing the wood apprehensively. I rolled my eyes at her, and shrugged off my jacket. I spread it out on the space beside me.

"There. Now your butt is nice and protected from the mean, evil, nonexistent bugs." I said, patting the jacket. She pursed her lips, but sat down beside me, deeming my cover acceptable. She leaned her head onto my shoulder, her arm resting against the length of mine, and took my hand wordlessly. Her skin was cold to the touch.

"You're freezing, Bell." I murmured, stroking the back of her hand with my thumb. I laid my cheek on the top of her head. Her hair smelled so good, too, and it looked so pretty, all straight and smooth… I wanted to bury my nose in it and run my fingers through it's entire length. Well, we all know where my head is today, I thought to myself, and sighed.

"What is it?" Bella whispered, without looking up at me.

"Hm?"

"You sighed," she explained. "I've learned that there is always something wrong when you do that."

"Oh."

"So what is it? What's the matter?"

I sighed again, and shut my eyes, bringing a hand up to run it down my face.

Ever since our argument down on the beach, the day I had gotten Bella her bracelet, things were different between us. It was almost tangible, the feelings that flowed between us. As the days went on, I realized that my friendship with Bella was steadily increasing to something more. I mean, I had decided long ago that I had wanted Bella to be something more to me, but those thoughts had never made themselves more prominent than her most recent visits. Never before had I noticed exactly how pretty she was(and good God, had I noticed it today- the outfit she was wearing would make Aphrodite herself go green with envy, for Christ's sake), or how funny she was, or how nice her lips looked… And, ego aside, I could see that Bella wanted something more too- I wasn't blind, nor was I incompetent.

So why wasn't I able to say any of this? Why couldn't I just look at her and tell her that I wanted to be more than friends? Honestly, how difficult was it? Just a few simple words, that was it!

But no matter how many minutes I spent lying awake in bed, badgering myself with these questions, I knew the answer. What if she rejected me? What if I was imagining her feelings? I would ruin everything, just when I was starting to really need her in my life. And then what would I do?

All these thoughts raced through my head in about four seconds, but it felt like an eternity when I cleared my throat to answer Bella's question. I sat up, and waited until she looked at me to finish.

"It's just…" I took a deep breath, and swallowed, then took another breath. I shut my eyes again and squeezed her hand. "I like this. You. Us. More… more than I should." There. I opened my eyes.

Silence followed, and I found myself holding my breath. She never broke my gaze, nor did she remove her hand from mine, and we sat, unblinking, for a long minute.

"I see." Bella whispered finally, but said nothing more, still looking into my eyes. After another agonizing period of silence, I decided that it was now, or it was never.

I took her chin gently, and tilted her face up to mine. My heart threatening to explode from my chest, I leaned forward, her eyes intently staring into mine. Without another thought, I pulled her face up to mine. Bella looked down just then, giving my lips access to only her forehead, and placed her hands on my heaving chest, pushing me away.

"Jacob." she whispered again, her voice barely audible over the pounding in my ears. I swallowed and attempted to slow my heart rate. "This… this is going to complicate everything."

"How?" I demanded. "It's not hard, Bella. There's you. And there's me. What's so complicated about it?"

Before she could answer, I pulled her face up again and closed the distance between us in half of a second. I crushed my lips to hers, and felt her stiffen in respone. Before anything else could happen, she pulled away from me. When I opened my eyes, I saw that there were tears shining in hers, threatening to spill over.

"That's not all there is, Jacob." she said even more quietly, her hands pushing against my chest again. She looked down and bit her bottom lip.

"Are you going to tell me that there's another guy, Bella? Really?" I asked, feeling anger build up in my chest, not at her, but at me. Because I had just ruined everything, in a fit of testosterone. She continued chewing on her lip for a moment before she answered.

"No. There isn't another guy. You… you would know." she answered dully. "But… but there was. There was another guy, Jacob. A long time ago."

I felt my shoulders sink as the meaning of her words sunk in.

"And you're still in love with him." I said flatly. It wasn't a question. She finally looked up at me, and when she did, I saw black trails down her cheeks; she wiped at them, smearing the makeup across her face. She shook her head vigorously.

"No, no, Jacob. That's not it, honest." she assured me, wiping at her face again. "I mean, I do love him; there's a part of me that always will, too, and I cant deny that. But that's not why I cant let you do this."

"Than what is it, Bella? Is it all in my head? Do you not think of me that way?" my voice shook. I pressed my lips together to keep them from trembling, something that occurred when I was angry.

"No! I do. I do think about you… that way." she was on the verge of tears again. "I like you, too, Jacob. A lot. And that's why this- you and me- cant happen. Because…" she didn't seem able to finish.

"Because why?" I pressed, taking her face in my hands and forcing her to look in my eyes. "Why?" I demanded when she refused to answer.

"Because, Jacob!" she exploded, throwing her arms into the air. "What if this doesn't work out, hm? What happens when you leave me? I don't think that I could take that, Jacob! I don't know if I could pick myself up again! So… so we should just stay friends, okay? Because if we go on to something more, it'll feel even worse when I lose you!" she was shouting at this point, and a steady flow of tears was trickling down her chin and dripping onto her jeans. It wasn't a 'what if?' situation, I realized.

"Why do you say 'when', Bella?"

"I give you an entire speech, bare my soul, and all you can come up with in answer is my improper grammar?" her voice rose a few octaves at the end of her sentence; it was practically a shriek.

"No! Listen! You're telling me that this- you and I- cant happen, because it'll be to hard for you when I leave. What makes you so sure that I'm just going to up and take off, Bella?"

"I- I didn't say that." she muttered, more to herself than to me.

"Yes, you did." I argued defiantly. "You said, and I quote, 'What happens when you leave me.'"

And then, everything fell into place.

She said when, because of him. Because of Edward-Goddamned-Cullen- because he left her, and now she's got it set into her heart that everyone would eventually walk out on her and leave her to suffer. It all made sense. Her first love had stranded her, deserted her, and so, in her mind, would anyone else she loved. That was what was stopping her, this fear of abandonment.

I couldn't believe it.

I mean honestly, after all the times I've said that I wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't let anything hurt her in my presence, and she's still afraid of being injured by me!

"This is about Cull-"

"Don't say his name." she interrupted fiercely before I could get out the two syllables, narrowing her eyes.

"Bella, this is about him. You cant lie to me- I know you better than that. Look at me," I demanded, for she had looked away. I waited until she had made eye contact again before I continued. "Never forget what I'm about to tell you, do you understand? I will engrave it in stone for you, just don't forget this next statement."

I stopped, and she nodded her head, wiping again at the tears still trailing down her cheeks. I spoke clearly and slowly.

"I've said this to you before, and I'll say it a million more times, before you finally believe me. I will never hurt you. Alright? And I wouldn't ever let anything else hurt you either."

She was silent for what seemed like hours. Finally, when I had decided to give up, to just go back home and pretend that I didn't just empty my heart out, something seemed to snap inside of Bella. A certain look of determination was in her eyes, and when she met them with mine, I saw resolve forming. Her arms, still at her sides, rose and locked around my neck; they were so fast it was almost a blur. She stretched her neck upwards, but she still wasn't quite tall enough to reach me fully. Again, I took her face in my hands, and pressed my lips to hers. She did not stiffen or freeze; in fact, she responded in a way that set my heart racing, moving her lips against mine excitedly. I could feel the pounding of her heart against my chest (that tells you something about how tightly pressed we were), and could feel mine hammering in sync with hers.

And it that moment, nothing else mattered. Not a person, not a helicopter, not a tornado. A volcano could erupt behind us, and I'd ignore that bitch. The earth could shatter around us, fall to pieces, and I would still be concentrating on how good her hair felt between my fingers, soft and warm, on our breathing, short and erratic, on her arms, strong and secure, around my neck.

When we finally did part, her face flushed pink, her hair a total mess, the only thing on my mind was how right that had felt, and how perfectly she had fit into my arms, like two pieces of a puzzle. I could only pray that she had felt the same.

"Was that… okay? For me to do?" she whispered, breaking the silence. She looked up at me hesitantly, licking her lips. I couldn't stop myself; I burst out laughing, sweeping her hair from her face and hopping to the ground. I turned and gripped her waist before she could move and lifted her off the log, setting her onto the grass before me. A look of puzzlement was on her face at my laughter, but she also wore a tiny smile.

I clasped my hands behind her back, resting them just at her tailbone. She slipped her fingers into my belt loops.

"That," I told her, kissing her on the forehead, "was perfect."

(A/N): Alright, ready everyone? All together now! One… two… three! AAAAWWWWWW! Okay. So, now that that's out of my system… he he. Anyways, sorry for the jumping around with the POV's, I promise I'll stick to one per chapter now. I just thought that the whole thing would be a lot better in Jacob's point of view. You know the drill, review until you break the review button, yadda yadda. I wont keep you waiting much longer, Chapter 7 shall be up soon.

Again, I say… Review!

Love,

ECG000